Saturday, June 13, 2009
here i sit at 4:35 my time and play on this computer. can't sleep. i have so much weighing on my mind. i gained two pounds this week, money is very tight, and i'm wondering how am i going to just get the groceries i need for the week. i know in these times of troubles i'm not alone. sometimes the struggle seems so great that i want to just curl up. i don't. there isn't time for pitty, sadness, or just plain laziness. i will make it through this phase in my life as i have most everything. in the end i hope to be wiser and more in control of my situation but only time will tell.
as for the weight i can't begin to know what went wrong. i followed my plan, stuck with the water and foods. exercised, even above my norm. oh well i lost way too much last week i know for me so i'm going to get past this. this is a new week and i'm ready for a new challenge.
i will say a prayer to myself about the money situation. shoot not much we can do for that but pray. my husband and i have jobs, we just can't seem to make ends meet a lot of the time. my hubby has even taken to working on his days off with a friend for extra money to see us through. so for any outthere struggling as we do, your not alone. i feel like if i say anything about my situation i'm whining. and sometimes i think i don't have kids at home anymore and we can eat noodles with butter and cheese if need be, so why am i here? who can tell. maybe i've helped my kids more than i should, maybe i've spent a dollar more than i could have, it is hard to tell. life is like this from time to time and it will move on. i just have to be ready to move with it.
so i guess now that i have vented, i feel a bit better. life is a journey and i'm traveling on it's rocky roads right now. so soon i pray i hit smooth pavement. i will just take this journey one minute, and day at a time. afterall this is the first day of the rest of my life.
Monday, June 08, 2009
what a wonderful weekend i had. i followed my plan for the most part, got in my exercise, and sunday was busy, had church then we went four wheeler riding down by the creek. man that sounds like a country and western song. but really it was a blast and so refreshing and just plain freeing. the wind in your hair. i needed to relax and what better way then by getting dirty.
i actually got two comments from some friends we rode with. what a wonderful feeling that was. i have to tell ya i was beginning to wonder if anyone was going to notice. but you know what i see everyone else daily and they don't see the weight loss. so it was really nice to have someone say hey you look great have you been losing weight. and yes guys i gave ww and sp the credit. because after all with out both of them i would ;n't be this far.
so now it is monday and i have to be getting back into the grind. work, work, work, till saturday. so till me meet again. take this journey one minute, day, and week at a time. afterall life is meant to be enjoyed not rushed.
Friday, June 05, 2009
i finally did it. i got out of the 140's. i also finally hit my 15lbs mark...i'm so thrilled. i reallly can't say how it happened. i cheated, ok not cheated but enjoyed much ice cream one day, but i got back on the horse and i guess not doing that daily helped me stay on track. so i know i can have a treat, just not a box of treats. gotta remember that. not only did i lose 2.8lbs this week, i hit my 15 lb goal. so two things to celebrate. i can now worry about the next five pounds on my journey. i try to go five pounds at a time so as not to get to far ahead of myself. kinda makes it a bit easier to handle this way. though i stayed at this last five pound segment much much much longer than i wanted to. but now i'm off to the next race. i feel so good today i feel like i could fly. maybe i just wasn't eating enough. truth be told i upped my points this week, weight watchers, and maybe that helped to jump start my metabolism. i had to do something different because what i was doing just wasn't working for me. and a friend (cat) also told me her secret is to change her strength trained routine on a monthly basis. i was doing to same ole same ole. so with that said. i 'm off to start this new week with enough energy and enthusiasim for all of us. i just have to remember to take this one minute, day, and week at a time and the rest will fall into place.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
well here i am at the last chance day once again. as i look back on this week i wonder why i seem to not be able to get it right. i've done fine all week till yesterday. i could of maybe worked off the ice cream attack if it was say on saturday, but no i have to have it on wednesday and now i know what is going to happen. when i say attack i mean attack. i had three, count them three ice cream bars. one just wasn't enough, it tasted like more. i don't get myself. i say i want to lose this weight, but then i have moments like these and i have to wonder do i really want to do better or is that just hype?
i have lost almost 14 pounds and yet i sabbatage myself weekly to get the remainder off. i have to wonder if i really want it bad enough to fight for it or am i just telling myself that. i say i want it, i get upset when i don't get it, but then i go and do what is needed to wreck a great week in progress. i had finally gotten in my exercise, i have been staying under points for days, i'm on weight watchers, then i go and do this. ok i've beat myself up about it. i've told the sp community all about it. and there is no where to go but up from here. shoot i'm already down. so i'm picking myself up, dusting off my a** and getting a move on. so what this week may be dud i have next week, the next, and many more after that to get this right.
i vow this week to use my food scales for something more than a dust collector, i vow to use my nordic trak and that great exercise room i have, and i vow to stick to plan. i can and will do this. one minute, day, and week at a time. enough is enough. i'm the only one standing in my way and i need to push past my weakness and get to my strengths. have a blessed day all.
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