MALEXANDER4   155,544
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saturday...weigh in report

Saturday, May 30, 2009

emoticonyesterday was my weigh in day. i'm a day late in blogging but i've been busy getting in my exercise for next week. i gained a pound this week, i'm not upset about this as it is my pms week and we all know what that means. heck really i'm used to gaining two pounds for i'll take this. i was a bit upset to begin with, not with me but the scales. i got so mad i kicked them. may i not suggest that method for all. after i yelled at myself for a couple of minutes i stopped and said to myself, self, this is the wrong week to be so upset. and you know what? it is. next week i will take it back.

exercise was a no show this past week also as it rained daily so i couldn't get my lunchtime walk, or evening walk with my pups in. so mostly it was a bust no matter how i look at it. but this is a new week, new ideas, and new goals. i have learned one thing, no matter how much i get upset, rant, rave, and carry on i end up heading for the same routine. you know what? this is now a lifestyle for me. i can't seem to do it any other way. so in truth this week wasn't such a bust. it taught me that i am going to get there from here and i will not give in or up. shoot so what it takes me the next year to lose the remainder of my weight. i look darn good at this point and i feel darn good. no conceit here. but guys we have to give ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done, because in the end we are all we have to count on. in the rough world we can't depend on others for our happiness.

that is my sermon for the day. so till next time. don't give up or in. and remember as i do, this is a journey best taken one minute, day, and week at a time. emoticon


longgggggg weekend!!!

Monday, May 25, 2009

i guess i really just need to vent and what better place for that then here. if it is read maybe i will get feedback. if it isn't at least i cleared the air around me.

where do i start....let's see my husband and i aren't really getting along lately. i don't know if it is me or him. we just both seem to be heading in different directions and very seldom meet in the middle. i get so frustrated sometimes when i try to talk to him and i get a lecture. yesterday i came home from church( he doesn't go, doesn't need it) and i tell him i've decided to get baptized. you see growing up my parents didn't push the church issue and we didn't either. then i got older and i started needing something more in my life. so to all you none believers out there, yes i found god. i feel better about me for it. i don't preach to others about going or not going, i don't push the issue. i feel we lead by example and i guess if i lead some will follow. anyhow, on to my husbands first remark isn't good for you, or i'm happy for you it is why? why, do you need to do this. and then the next words out of his mouth are don't start preaching to me, i'll go in my own time. now let me make myself clear here. i don't preach i haven't and i have never asked him to go. my daughter goes, her husband and son go. we enjoy it. i wish he would go just to see what it is all about. but i know todd and he isn't going to. it isn't cool so to speak. anyhow...this is just one issue.

we can't seem to speak to each other without yelling anymore. if i say something to him he thinks i'm being ugly, if he says something to me it seems he's yelling. i don't know. i feel sometimes he talks better to his friends than he does me. when i bring this up he says i'm full of it. we have been married for 14 years and this is the first year in all that time that we have gotten to this point. it makes me sad, but then in another way it should be strengthening us. we should be trying to get it together for both our sakes. when i tell him this he just shrugs and says there is nothing wrong. but there is, we don't talk much, we don't hold hands, kiss and so on. this is not normal. i see our friends relationships and i feel mine is empty. that is it exactly i feel empty.

during this weight loss journey he has been wonderful. he notices, and comments. we eat the same meals and i've noticed that he reads labels a lot more now than he did. so in the respect i'm happy. he doesn't track my every movement, and never seems to mind if i'm late getting home. he says he trusts me. i've never given him a reason not to. but ladies sometimes ii want him to wonder where i'm at, why i may be late. if for nothing else just so i know he cares.

i really don't know where i'm going with all this. i just needed to vent. i love my husband don't get me wrong. and maybe i want what i read about. but i'm not asking for the moon and stars i just want to feel a connection. when the girls at work get phone calls from spouses it is hi honey, and i love you. mine is what? and see ya. i want so much more. and sometimes i feel maybe i'm not going to get that here. but then again as with all journey's they begin with one step. i guess i need to take that step and leap of faith and reach out to him. if he turns away then i need to take the next step. if he takes my hand then we have somewhere to go from there. thank you for letting me vent. i needed to get this off my chest. i know i probably talked in circles but that is what journaling is all about.

so till next time....have a wonderful day and enjoy the longgggggg weekend for me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORPEEGIRL1 5/25/2009 12:21PM

    Stand strong in your belief, never let the sun go down on your wrath, and pray for the man... I know, it sounds easy when it's typed out and it's not -- to be truly honest I feel funny saying anything since I've been divorced for 8 years but my sister is married to a non-believer so I'm drawing from her experiences. She also has a wonderful book that helps her out. When I see her this afternoon I'll get the name for you. Be blessed!

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EUROGAL 5/25/2009 10:40AM


I think you need this.

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weigh-in...plateau may be over!

Friday, May 22, 2009

here i am down another .6. my weight is now 140.6 maybe the plateau is over. next week will tell. 15 pounds lost here i come. finally, seems i've been trying for so long to get here but in reality not so long. shoot i waited 20 years to get on this new lifestyle roller coaster, so really what is a few weeks.

today's meals may be hit or miss because tomorrow is grocery day. i didn't go last week and i have used up my back supply. so it is really hard at this point to get veg, fruit, and protien. but i have canned, and that works for me today. tomorrow i will be ready to start my new week. so till then guys i'm finally getting there from here. one day at a time i guess is what it takes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERESA6262 5/24/2009 7:51AM

    Hi Michelle! You've always got such a good attitude! I saw someone in Wal-Mart yesterday that looked just like you from the your pic, and thought of you. How much more to go until you hit the 15 pound mark? have a good weekend. Is it a long one? Mine is. YAY!

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100 sparkpoints away from 10,000!!!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

here it is another mile stone. within the next couple days i'm going to hit 10,000 spark points. points earned from everything under the sun. i have exercised, eaten healthy, logged, read, blogged, polled, triviaed, and messaged boarded my way around this site for almost five months. i'm not yet at my goal, but i'm on my way. i'm kinda sitting still at the moment. but i hope to be sliding down the other side of this hill soon. wow 10,000 points!!! that is wonderful. it gives my the encouragement i need to keep going. heck i still have 20,000 to get to.

i guess my point to all this is this....don't ever give in or up. not only do you have the scales, measure tapes, and such to measure progress we have the sparkpoints system also. so if you wonder did i do enough today? just look at the points earned for that day. yeah, you did plenty.

today is my last chance day for my weigh in tomorrow. let what will be, be. i'm good with it. i'm still trying hard for the 15 lb goal point, but really it isn't that far away and then i can worry about the 20 lb goal point. so you see guys we have to always look ahead. we sure can't go back and really all we have is right now. so let's enjoy the ride and thank god for allowing us this one more day to try and get it all right. and till next time remember we are going to get there from here.



Wednesday, May 20, 2009

i'm so glad a new day has dawned. yesterday at work sucked to put it mildly and i'm ready for a new and brighter day. the stress is not only not good for my mind but my body as well. just don't need it in my life. so i'm giving it to god and moving on. what will be will be and the rest will fall into place in time. that is my hope anyways.

found out my husband has to go to a specialist and have a spot in his cheek checked for cancer. the dentist did his cleaning yesterday and it has been worrying him for a bit. just when you think life can't get much worse it does. and no, he doesn't chew. smokes, and in the process of quitting. he is on medicine and so far so good. so i guess i just need to not let this stress along with everything else get in my way of progress. but we all with some truth it will. not matter what we say it is the heart and mind that rules us.

on this journey, all is looking fine. getting in my exercise and doing extra actually. eating on plan(ww) and getting my water. which has become an opstical since they won't let us drink at work except on breaks. but i found water bottles in my lunch to be a big help. and with two breaks i can get in two then also. so again just a small hurdle to climb. nothing major this time. thank god for that. so till next time i will get there from here. it may take me a bit longer than first planned, but i'm doing it one day at a time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERESA6262 5/20/2009 8:08PM

    Michelle, just take one step, one problem, one day, one hour, at a time. God is the right place/source for peace, hope and rest for your trials. I'll be keeping you and your hubby lifted in prayer.

No water at work??? Because you're a pharm tech???

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CORPEEGIRL1 5/20/2009 1:04PM

    Prayers for your husband!! Awesome job giving it up to God, sometimes it's not easy to do. I, personally, throw up my hands and yell "It's all yours, I trust that'll you'll deal with it as you see fit!" and then thank him for taking care of it anytime I happen to start dwelling on the matter later.

Keep positive and don't forget about the power of the tongue!! You have the power to speak positive things into your life. The mouth is louder than the heart and the mind!! emoticon

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