Monday, October 28, 2013
Take perfection and throw it out the window. There's always something you can make better or do differently strive to IMPROVE, not attain the impossible.
Remember you will not always win.
Some days, the most resourceful individual will taste defeat.
But there is, in this case, always tomorrow -
after you have done your best to achieve success today.
- Maxwell Maltz
Funny yesterday I was so upset with myself and my journey. This morning as i'm checking my email's all this comes at me. It was like someone upstairs was saying "don't give up on you" So i'm not going to. I will find my happy place in this journey. It may not be today or this week but I will succeed at this one day. I only can take this one step, meal, day at a time. It is up to me whether I succeed or fail.
I think i'm going to do just that.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Instead of thinking of your body as the enemy, think of it as your best friend.
Easier said most days than others. Today I feel like it is the enemy. Though I know I did great this week and moved more, I don't want to hear it is muscle. I have so far to go and as of yet i'm not getting anywhere with this weight loss thing. Call it what you will healthy lifestyle, diet, stress....it all adds up to the same thing in my world right now. Work and work and see no loss just gains and more gains. I try, lord knows I do, I eat right and I've bought the Spark activity counter. I even have walked two days at lunch this week along with the normal routine. Did it help??? Can't prove it by me by the scales. I know I'm not suppose to only use the scales so I measure each month also. The numbers changed here and there but ultimately the total stayed the same. So what does that mean? Means the fat just shifted. Nothing exciting about that. So hum what will I do about this? Work harder, eat less, scream? Mostly cry because hell I already can't fit into my clothes, so what is one more downer.
I'm sorry I don't want to bring any of you down. I'm just feeling at a loss right now and don't really know what to do about it. I could keep going, or I could quit. Really those are the options. So now I need to take time and decide what it is I want out of this journey. Because to be honest i'm not finding it and i'm just getting more and more upset with my body. I already don't like myself much and here it is just fighting me every step of the way.
I guess this is my answer. I have to not give up on myself.
Monday, October 21, 2013
I have been riding this roller coaster now for some time. I have started and stopped more times than I can count. But as of Saturday night with tears in my eyes as I tried on yet another pair of jeans that didn't fit to go out with friends, I decided that I was tired of being tired and overweight. I have allowed myself to keep gaining, wear stretch pants, and just be uncomfortable within myself, long enough. If there is to be change it much come from me. I can't keep hiding behind the sweats and big t-shirts. It is time to take back my life.
Yesterday I got up and from that moment on I was working on change. I had a good breakfast, all accounted for on Spark, even paid 3.99 to have it on my phone so I can keep up with my foods and such. Headed into town for a few healthy things, stuck to my list and came home and prepped my veggies for salads and such this week. Even cooked cabbage in advance so I can have that. Something new and different. Then I had a healthy lunch, no snacks....it was wonderful. I did have some popcorn later and then dinner, cabbage....I was full and that was that. No snacking at night. I finished the day under my range.
Nope no exercise yesterday, I have worked out so much this past week and burned over 2000 calories that I took a day off. But my activity tracker is ready and waiting for today. I plan on a walk at lunch.
Ok, time to go. I have to get ready for work. My first day back after a week off. Ready? Actually I am. I don't do well just sitting around.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
SparkPeople's Coach Nicole says:
You are more than a number. Don't let the scale decide how you feel about yourself.
Life is a challenge. Realize that and work, every day, to rise up and meet it.
Today was day. Yup I was a bit. But not a lot. So i'm happy about that. I was home this week on a vacation and I have to be honest I ate. I walked and walked...thank goodness or it would of been worse.....but I eat when i'm bored. So I ate my weight in food this week. But what did I take away from this week besides a few extra ounces?
I don't like being overweight, I don't like being lazy, I don't like being uncomfortable. So what am I going to do to change that???? well i'm going to begin with a plan for the week. I have a list going for meals this week, I will also do my best to give up mindless munching and start eating my three meals daily. I will continue with my exercise and using my Spark activity tracker. That does push me to move more and right now I need all the pushing I can get.
I have a plan, I have the motivation, I just need to put it all into action. Because we all know actions speak louder than words.
Truth: Last night we went to the Haunted Fire house, we do this each year and it has become tradition, although I hate to get dressed up to head out because nothing fits right, looks right, feels right, I do it because....well....it is tradition, this year I had to go through three pairs of pants before I found a pair of jeans that still fit....they were the stretchy kind so they hardly count as jeans.....three pairs. Well you know the tears were right there behind my eyes.....but truth: I did this to me. Nobody forced me to stop exercising and nobody held food to my face. So after that I knew it was time for a change.......a real change.
So here's to my "moment" in the closet...it opened my eyes to the real ME hiding behind sweats.
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