Monday, October 21, 2013
I have been riding this roller coaster now for some time. I have started and stopped more times than I can count. But as of Saturday night with tears in my eyes as I tried on yet another pair of jeans that didn't fit to go out with friends, I decided that I was tired of being tired and overweight. I have allowed myself to keep gaining, wear stretch pants, and just be uncomfortable within myself, long enough. If there is to be change it much come from me. I can't keep hiding behind the sweats and big t-shirts. It is time to take back my life.
Yesterday I got up and from that moment on I was working on change. I had a good breakfast, all accounted for on Spark, even paid 3.99 to have it on my phone so I can keep up with my foods and such. Headed into town for a few healthy things, stuck to my list and came home and prepped my veggies for salads and such this week. Even cooked cabbage in advance so I can have that. Something new and different. Then I had a healthy lunch, no snacks....it was wonderful. I did have some popcorn later and then dinner, cabbage....I was full and that was that. No snacking at night. I finished the day under my range.
Nope no exercise yesterday, I have worked out so much this past week and burned over 2000 calories that I took a day off. But my activity tracker is ready and waiting for today. I plan on a walk at lunch.
Ok, time to go. I have to get ready for work. My first day back after a week off. Ready? Actually I am. I don't do well just sitting around.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
SparkPeople's Coach Nicole says:
You are more than a number. Don't let the scale decide how you feel about yourself.
Life is a challenge. Realize that and work, every day, to rise up and meet it.
Today was day. Yup I was a bit. But not a lot. So i'm happy about that. I was home this week on a vacation and I have to be honest I ate. I walked and walked...thank goodness or it would of been worse.....but I eat when i'm bored. So I ate my weight in food this week. But what did I take away from this week besides a few extra ounces?
I don't like being overweight, I don't like being lazy, I don't like being uncomfortable. So what am I going to do to change that???? well i'm going to begin with a plan for the week. I have a list going for meals this week, I will also do my best to give up mindless munching and start eating my three meals daily. I will continue with my exercise and using my Spark activity tracker. That does push me to move more and right now I need all the pushing I can get.
I have a plan, I have the motivation, I just need to put it all into action. Because we all know actions speak louder than words.
Truth: Last night we went to the Haunted Fire house, we do this each year and it has become tradition, although I hate to get dressed up to head out because nothing fits right, looks right, feels right, I do it because....well....it is tradition, this year I had to go through three pairs of pants before I found a pair of jeans that still fit....they were the stretchy kind so they hardly count as jeans.....three pairs. Well you know the tears were right there behind my eyes.....but truth: I did this to me. Nobody forced me to stop exercising and nobody held food to my face. So after that I knew it was time for a change.......a real change.
So here's to my "moment" in the closet...it opened my eyes to the real ME hiding behind sweats.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Because I know I have to get up and move I have done just that this week. This report is just one day....I got in 16 miles so far and I still have today.
Distance: 4.53 mi
Duration: 01 hours 22 minutes 19 seconds
At: 18.10.13 07:22
Am I tooting my own horn? Yes and no. I did get up each morning and head out for a 4+ mile walk but I also was home from work and had all the time in the world to eat what I shouldn't of. But to that end I've also had a good couple of days with that part also. I'm taking this journey one small step at a time. I did the almost close to goal and gain it all back thing now I want to make it to goal and stay there. So i'm off this morning to get in another walk. Hey what the heck this is my "last chance day" so to speak before weigh in so I have to be ready to step on those scales.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
This morning I was thinking about a blog to write. I mean it has mostly all been covered here. But alas I came upon a quote:
Success depends more on how much you eat than what you eat. Moderation is the key to success.
There it was my blog/confession so to speak. I have been on vacation this week. Not a away vacation but a staycation. Oh I've gotten much done so far in two days, the house is spic and span, I've purged areas that needed it, I washed my car, mowed the yard. But in between all of that I found time to binge. I say binge because really there was no rhyme or reason for any of it. I mean if it was there I ate some of it. Oh nope it wasn't really what I wanted so I ate more and more. I have gone to bed sick at my stomach and heart two nights now. Why? At what point does getting myself back on track in my mind make my body want and crave crap? That is what it is....an addiction to crap. Yes i'm an addict. I can tell ya I know just how an addict feels when the drug is what the body craves and a little is too much and a whole lot is never enough. It seems like my mind is always thinking of the next bit of junk I can eat. What can I have now?
Let me be honest I went to the store and I bought healthy foods. So what i'm eating isn't all that bad but the fact is i'm eating it till i'm sick. I'm searching for something and I can honestly say i'm not finding it. Now as I sit here this morning over my coffee i'm ready to begin again. I mean I've got some spark in my system, I've read a blog or two, I've read a couple of articles, I've spun the wheel, i'm ready to try again today. But.....and there is always a but.....can I be stronger than the addiction?
I so want to overcome this one little obstacle. Little who am I kidding this thing is huge. I've never thought of myself as having a food addiction, I was a thin teen, and didn't get big till my pregnancy for my daughter some 27 years ago. Since then I've kept the weight, lost the weight, put the weight back on. I've thought about food, eaten food, cooked, fixed, thrown out, and eaten more food. It is time to take this one step at a time. Time to get my mind back to health. Oh i'm aware the detox is not going to be pretty. I may not go through the shakes, and such as an addict....or I might. Who knows. But I can tell ya this..... One day at a time.
Today I take on my fears. I mean I must be afraid of something to keep heading for the stuff that could take me down in the end right?
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