MALEXANDER4   167,191
SparkPoints
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints
 
 
MALEXANDER4's Recent Blog Entries

Addiction

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

This morning I was thinking about a blog to write. I mean it has mostly all been covered here. But alas I came upon a emoticon quote:

Success depends more on how much you eat than what you eat. Moderation is the key to success.

There it was my blog/confession so to speak. I have been on vacation this week. Not a away vacation but a staycation. Oh I've gotten much done so far in two days, the house is spic and span, I've purged areas that needed it, I washed my car, mowed the yard. But in between all of that I found time to binge. I say binge because really there was no rhyme or reason for any of it. I mean if it was there I ate some of it. Oh nope it wasn't really what I wanted so I ate more and more. I have gone to bed sick at my stomach and heart two nights now. Why? At what point does getting myself back on track in my mind make my body want and crave crap? That is what it is....an addiction to crap. Yes i'm an addict. I can tell ya I know just how an addict feels when the drug is what the body craves and a little is too much and a whole lot is never enough. It seems like my mind is always thinking of the next bit of junk I can eat. What can I have now?

Let me be honest I went to the store and I bought healthy foods. So what i'm eating isn't all that bad but the fact is i'm eating it till i'm sick. I'm searching for something and I can honestly say i'm not finding it. Now as I sit here this morning over my coffee i'm ready to begin again. I mean I've got some spark in my system, I've read a blog or two, I've read a couple of articles, I've spun the wheel, i'm ready to try again today. But.....and there is always a but.....can I be stronger than the addiction?

I so want to overcome this one little obstacle. Little who am I kidding this thing is huge. I've never thought of myself as having a food addiction, I was a thin teen, and didn't get big till my pregnancy for my daughter some 27 years ago. Since then I've kept the weight, lost the weight, put the weight back on. I've thought about food, eaten food, cooked, fixed, thrown out, and eaten more food. It is time to take this one step at a time. Time to get my mind back to health. Oh i'm aware the detox is not going to be pretty. I may not go through the shakes, and such as an addict....or I might. Who knows. But I can tell ya this..... emoticon One day at a time.

Today I take on my fears. I mean I must be afraid of something to keep heading for the stuff that could take me down in the end right?



Michelle. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ACROFIT 10/16/2013 4:14PM

  Yep, right there with ya girl! I sooo get it. hang in there!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARW715 10/16/2013 9:15AM

    Right there with you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUSYGRANNY5 10/16/2013 8:14AM

    So appreciate your honesty! Great quotes, too! Keep on keeping on... you CAN do this!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANASONIC 10/16/2013 7:43AM

    emoticon and so can I! I do think we always give our best to others and fall so short when it comes to giving our best to ourselves. Hope your day is productive and a healthy one for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Ahhh to laugh

Tuesday, October 15, 2013









There now you've smiled at the truth of these so lets get out there and move it to lose it.

Michelle. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAMAJAM 10/18/2013 10:53AM

  Loved this! --- Happy weekend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAKAROO 10/16/2013 5:48AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DARLENEK04 10/15/2013 5:17PM

  Awesome....thanks for a smile....


DarleneK

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLDS 10/15/2013 9:44AM

    “Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.”

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOB5148 10/15/2013 8:13AM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FEMISLIM 10/15/2013 7:56AM

    Lol!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYLHURT 10/15/2013 7:34AM

  emoticon
Been there, done all those!
Thanks for the giggle!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CSKIES1 10/15/2013 7:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Fake it till I make it

Saturday, October 12, 2013


Fake it until you make it! When you're feeling bad, get dressed up — soon your inside will catch up with your outside.

Sometimes just showing up is all you have to do. The rest will follow.

This is how I spent part of my lunch break yesterday: Sport: Walking
Distance: 1.00 mi
Duration: 21 minutes 47 seconds
At: 11.10.13 13:48

I figure it is time to do what is needed to reach my goals. After all you can only fake it for so long......

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLJONES 10/12/2013 8:27AM

    When you don't know what to do, do the things you know. The rest will become evident over time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAKAROO 10/12/2013 7:54AM

    Great!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HAPPYMENOW58 10/12/2013 6:19AM

    Great blog! You are really on the right track! Keep smiling, sparking, reading, and learning......best wishes on your journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SFREY217 10/12/2013 6:13AM

    Sounds like a plan ! Go for it !!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLDS 10/12/2013 6:01AM

    “It’s not who you think you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you’re not.”

Report Inappropriate Comment
POETICJUSTUS 10/12/2013 5:27AM

    emoticon Blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Ok, I ordered the Activity tracker from spark

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

SparkPeople's Coach Tanya says:
Balanced calories + Increased activity + Habits you can stick with = Healthy weight for life

Well I just ordered the emoticon so time to get a handle on me. I needed something more to energize me and this seemed like the thing to get. Yeah maybe 59.95 was a bit much to spend on a tracker but I've spent more on less. So when it arrives next Tuesday I will be on vacation. So not only will I have a new toy but days and days to play with it. lol. So here's to better health and reaching goals emoticon

So far I've tracked my meals for three days. The good the bad and the ugly. But you know what? It wasn't as ugly as I thought it would be. Nope I've been right on track. Balance is the key I guess. But still working on the kinks and the bad habits that got me to where i'm at on the scales. One day and one pound at a time.



Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FISHINGLADY66 10/12/2013 7:29AM

    You will love your tracker. Congrats. I got mine last week and it is a constant reminder to keep moving. You go Girl. Have fun racking up those steps. ((Hugs))

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEZASEDAI 10/9/2013 10:32PM

    Enjoy the new toy!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLDS 10/9/2013 11:25AM

    If it helps you towards your goals...it's worth it emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETHIEMAE75 10/9/2013 8:39AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Truths???

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Well for the most part my brain has been telling my body that it can't do a darn thing. But the truth is I had a "aha moment" if you will the other day. I was sick had to go to the doctors and get meds and a shot, of course first thing you do is step on the darn scales. Up wayyyyyyy up that number went. I swallowed, and just shook my head. I had allowed myself to reach a number higher than I had begun this journey some five years ago. Why? At what point did this become ok? You know what i'm talking about ok to eat and eat, ok to just kind of sail through the exercise with no destination, strength training is non existant and the good foods and water? Heck they don't even enter into it. But you keep lying to yourself and you think your just fine.

Well i'm here to tell you i'm not just fine. I'm at a point where I don't like me much, the lies I've told me over and over have come to light and the truth is I've been sitting this out for some time. So two days now, I know just the beginning, I've tracked and kept me in check. Why? Because I want health. I don't like the me I've allowed myself to become. I don't like the lazy, uncomfortable person I see each day in the mirror. So I've decided to take on myself. Because.....
I'm all I have to compete with.

So if you think eating private won't tell on you in public i'm here to tell you it will. And let me be the first to say it won't whisper dear it will scream it loud.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 10/10/2013 1:18PM

    You are determined and you are going to succeed! You can do this! Heck, we can both do this. I'm right there with you...the sailing through pretending everything is fine..well, if it is, then why have I gained back what I lost last year? I never made it close to goal, but once I actually got going, I did a u turn and back to old habits. WHY??? You want to know what? I'm not even going to concentrate on the "why" anymore, because it simply no longer interests me. I don't care why. I only care to move forward from here, do what I need to do and THEN the only thing that will matter is the DOING.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 10/8/2013 8:43AM

    Others may not see you overeat, but they see the result. There is a moment of "giving yourself permission" to do what you think you don't want to do but evidently, you really do. It isn't a competition, even with yourself. It's just deciding what you really really want at that one moment when you make a decision. Those decisions are cumulative in both directions. In cartoons they show an angel and a devil on shoulders. In reality it's now or later. Only you can pick one.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLDS 10/8/2013 7:32AM

    “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 Last Page