Wow today has been so quiet. Hubby had to work and I was left to my own devices all day. Well we all know what that means in my little world.... Yup I pretty much ate my weigh through the day. Now I wrote it all down. I have to tell ya it was pretty scary. But I accounted for each bite, lick, and taste. Progress? You bet. There was a time I would of just pretended that I hadn't eaten all that. but now this time. It was time to face the and I did. Now how will I fix this? Welllll...... I intend to give it all I got move forward.
So when bored may I suggest finding something to do with yourself besides eating.
On the plus side...I got the tree taken care of, the spare room cleaned, the living room back in order and vaccumed. So yeah I didn't sit around all day long and really looking back over my day I didn't eat that much over the norm....it was my choices. Where I should of had fruit I had a pumpkin bread, and then a cheese muffin. So nope it wasn't that I ate so much it was that my choices where strictly out of bordom. So now time to pull up my big girl panties and get back to it.
Although the year began as any other I am not at all sorry to see a new one arrive. We lost my mother in law this year, two of our precious pups within three weeks of each other, and I hit my high on the scale. So how is 2013 going to be any better? Well I can't say there will be no loss of loved ones as I have no control over that, I just have to pray and know that what will be will be. As for my scale shocks throughout the year....well that I can control and i'm taking steps to work on me now. So far i'm three days in and holding my own. Cooking again and that is new. I was so slacking in that area. But so far three nights of meals. Getting my fruits and veggies, and water. Again I had slacked so bad on that.
But as of this moment i'm not slacking on ME and that is my New Years gift to me. If I begin the new year on a high note maybe I can continue with the flow. So Heres to ME.
Ok so it happened on a sunny day in December. Yup I had to head out to the goodwill and get two pairs of jeans in a size that I could wear now. I'm tired of wearing stretch pants, sweats, and such around the house. Oh I have work clothes, but when I'm home I have nothing to wear that fits comfortable. So what does this say to me? It says that the holidays are over, the fun is done, and I have some work to do if I want to be the best I can be. It is official i'm back at my beginning weight that I started Spark with four years ago. I know I came, I saw, I ran away screaming. Really though what this tells me is it is time to be serious and decide what it is I really want out of this journey. Because to be honest I have just been kinda hanging on by a thread and I have to tell ya that thread broke long ago I just kept thinking I was still hanging on. Nope I was on my butt. So time to get back up and be the person I know I can be. Truer words never spoken. I have felt that way for a while now. So today I took the plunge and rejoined Weight Watchers because I know it works if I work the plan. So as of today i'm working the plan one little step at a time. Did I succeed so far today? YUP!! Accountablity something I need and something i've ignored for a long while now.
So as I head off to spark for a bit I want to say THANK YOU for never giving up on me.
Well here it is day one and I did it. Yup me the one who never thinks I can do a day one and start the ball rolling. Well this ball is beginning to move the earth a bit.
I got in my exercise, water oh yeah lots of water, only had two diet drinks, and i'm not to my minimum on the food tracker. Now that wasn't intentional and I will have a "snack" to reach at least the minimum or not. Oh wait I have hot cocoa. That should put me at the line. YES now to move forward and see what tomorrow holds for me. I can see it is all in the planning. Oh and don't eat and run. Today I sat and had my meals and didn't just graze. I fixed my plate and when I was done I was done.
As I sit here ready to blog i'm really not sure what I want to say. I mean the holiday is upon us and over with here. I've really not done what I should of but a very lot of what I wanted....that is in the food department. I did get in the exercise and I know in my heart that isn't going to fix anything that i've done. I don't know could we......
Ok maybe not. I will not lie to you or myself. I ate my weight in junk these last couple of days. Now I never set out to do anything special but staying in countrol of myself would of been a start. But that didn't happen. Really what happened was I pretty much just gave up on my goals. I even went through the blogs of others looking to see if anyone was feeling as guilty as me over what I had and have done to myself this past year. Nope....not a one. All I found was "I reached my goal, or I lost 50 pounds, or 360 days on track" really???? What is wrong with me that I can't even get the one day. I mean it is just one little day. Day one is the day when the momentum is picked up and the ball starts rolling. When you see yourself thin and you are willing to do all that you can to see your goals reached. I had a great couple of weeks and then I allowed this holiday and all the things I know darn well I can't have with any kind of control control me and my stomach. I say my stomach because right now i'm feeling a bit And not in a very good way. YUCK is a word that comes to mind.
So what do I plan to do about this? What steps do I plan to take to make it happen. You know the IT i'm talking about...yup the IT that happened to all those sparkers that blogged on here. The goals reached, the days in a row of success, the happy warm feeling you get when you step on the scales and see that magic number reached. Yup I'm talking about IT....the dream. Well I won't sit here and tell you that I have a plan, because right now I don't. Oh I have the food plan, it is the other plan i'm' refering to....what happens when that food is in my reach, what happens when I want it but I know that one bite is going to undo all my hard work. Nope I have not one plan for that yet. I just have to begin and get this ball rolling. Once it is rolling i know each new day will bring me a bit of strength that one day will see me say "No thank-you I don't eat that anymore". Hey a girl can dream. But for now I just want to..... Just wake me when the new year is upon us....
I can't do that either....I need to be awake to see this through. I need to sit and decide what it is i'm searching for and wanting from all this. because right now I just want to beat me up and I know that isn't the thing to do. So this holiday i'm really looking forward to the one gift I can give myself. The gift of health. So heres to good health and wiser choices....