MALEXANDER4   168,106
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And so the story goes

Saturday, March 10, 2012

emoticonWow what a horrible couple of weeks. My grandmother fell and broke her hip, needed a rod and some screws and is now at the nursing home with physical therapy. My husbands mom passed away wednesday and that was a total shock. Now he is in Vermont and i'm here at home taking care of the "farm". We decided that was how it would be as there was going to be no funeral and no service. Creamation was all she wanted so my hubby heads north to say his goodbyes with his brother. Thankfully he lives with us so he has his strength as well as Rob having his. They get up there to find out nothing has been done, and to top it off no insurance. So instead of saying goodbye he is settling a lot of mess. If I can stress anything enough it is that you all take care before you go. Your children shouldn't be left with grief and things left undone. My husband can't even mourn yet as he is too busy and god willing this will be settled soon. I want him home with me and I tried to fly up there but he said there was no need to both of us to in that mess. Bless my hubby. He is the stronge one in our relationship and even on wednesday when I saw him fall and didn't quite know what to do for him...he picked himself back up and is doing what needs to be done. He has four other siblings and only my brother in law that lives with us is helping. so said. He is finding out the others are not very mature. Needless to say I have shown my daughter where all my things are just in case. She knows my wishes but as soon as my husband gets home we are heading to the lawyers and getting a will drawn up. I won't leave anything for my children except a gift. they must mourn and move on not have to put the pieces of my life back together.

Sorry I have vented but this seems to be the place to clear the air and say what I won't say to my husband. He has enough on his plate right now without me being angry. I'm just so upset with her and she is dead. Is that possible. Grief and then anger. I guess i'm healing. Todd says she didn't know, you have to know if you have life insurance. She also named two children in charge and they have no clue. So they nominated my hubby to be their speaker. God bless his strength.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 3/20/2012 1:54AM

    Michelle, I'm thinking of you. I think it's natural to feel some anger in the grief process...especiall with so many loose ends to have to figure out. I hope your hubby is back home with you soon. It's a good thing he has his brother with him and that at least the two of them can work it out together.
Hugs to you, my friend, hang in there.

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CRAZYWOMAN10 3/11/2012 5:58AM

    So sorry for you loss.
You have definitely put some wise words out there. I have showed my daughter where everything is and my wishes..but I dont have a will either...that is a must!

I hope things go well...May God bless you and your family.

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SHERYLDS 3/10/2012 9:37PM

    I'm so sorry you have been hit with so much sad news.

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KNITTABLES 3/10/2012 2:44PM

    This is a great place to vent. sorry about your mother - in -law. I know what you are going through and my prayers are with you and your hubby. Sorry that you hubby have to do all this work and I hope he gets home to you soon. Take care. Hugs

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CAKAROO 3/10/2012 12:50PM

    So sorry for the loss of your mother-in law.

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SLIMPAM23 3/10/2012 10:24AM

    Oh Michelle----
What a mess. I am sorry for you and the family. And you are right of course about final details. My mother is completely organized and has made things simple for my sister and I. And boy am I grateful - because my mother lives up the street from me....and my sister lives in IOWA!!
But - I have done NOTHING to be organized for my kids. I'm thinking that at 49 it's not necessary yet - but that is the WRONG answer. You just never know what is around the corner. You have given me something to think about.
My husband's mother was a few years older than my parents - and she refused to talk about dying when she was young and healthier. She said it was morbid. So when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer 6 years ago - everyone had to hustle to make sure they knew what her wishes were. Had she died unexpectedly - no one would have known what to do. Maybe that was you MIL's thinking I don't know. But I feel for your husband. And I am so glad he has his brother's help. God Bless you'll get through this - and be stronger for it I'm sure. Hugs to your grandmother too. Does she live near you? I have only one grandparent left. A grandmother who will be 93 in a few days and still lives on her own!!! But she lives in Illinois....
Hugs My Friend!

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Week in review

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Well lets see now this week started off great food wise and exercise wise. But as usual it quickly came to a halt. I had a gain on the scales at my "scale back" weigh in and that made me work harder for about four days. But my goal for the week was to have four good days and so that is success. Now today if I can, nope I can make this a five day week. Better than ever.

My grandmother fell this week and broke her hip, She is out of surgery with a rod and screws, in the nursing home now for 21 days of therapy, and she is doing better than we had hoped. Inspiration? you betcha. She is tough and only taking tylenol 3 for the pain. Huh??? where is her pain meds? But she says she doesn't need it. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

So that is about it in review. slow week but success in some spots. I will proceed on and take this one step at a time.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 2/29/2012 9:43AM

    Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope she continues to heal well.

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SUGARBABY60 2/26/2012 9:29PM

    One of the best ways to have a successful week is to encourage someone else each day. It builds momentum in your own wt loss journey. It is really like encouraging yourself to keep going toward that goal you have set. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KNITTABLES 2/25/2012 12:49PM

    Sorry to hear about your grandmother, wishing her a healthy recovery. Congrat on making it four days, you can make it five. Glad your grandmother is in a rehab place. Wished they put my mom in one instead of sending her home alone. Take care, prayers. Sandra

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CAKAROO 2/25/2012 10:01AM

    hope your grandmother has a quick recovery

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SHERYLDS 2/25/2012 10:01AM

    “You don’t have to be perfect in order to be successful.” ~Anonymous
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I seem to have lost my MOJO

Sunday, February 19, 2012

emoticonI seem to have lost my mojo does anyone know where I may have left it? I mean really folks what is going on inside a persons head that one day you do great and the next it is just the old you coming back with a vengance. I mean really a lot worse than the old you because the new you is obsessed with food.

You know what i'm talking about the new you is eating out of control... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonFoods you never cared for all of a sudden you just have to have them. A serving size what is that all about. One serving of anything means I would have to weigh or measure. I would much rather grab and go.

Well I have had a sudden moment of conscience. I can't stand myself at this moment but not enough to quit. I told my hubby my feelings and his answer...."well stop eating". Ok if it was that simple I would of done that already three years ago and been at goal. Nope it has gone past that. I'm not accountable anylonger.

I remember the joy of the new. Joining spark was such an addiction, I read, learned, studied, gained so much new knowledge. People came to me for ideas and info. Now? I seem to have misplaced that thing called mojo and I can't get at it right now. It is just out of my reach. I would be lying if I told you that I would begin fresh tomorrow. That may or may not happen. I have thought of quitting my leadership role on a couple of teams as I can't even lead myself let alone a whole group of people. But that isn't happening as of yet. I have found I need those teams maybe as much as someone needs me.

So I will end this blog on the note that I will try harder. Harder for myself, my sanity, my future. Because grab and go isn't always the best choice. I need to be aware of what i'm doing and now that my hubby knows I eat in the dark maybe I can come into the light. Admitting you have a problem is the first step right?

Overeaters isn't just a word for overweight people....some of us just hide it better than others.

Michelle. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 2/29/2012 9:42AM

    Sweetie, I totally know where you are coming from. The last 2 weeks have been like that for me. BUT...we haven't lost our mojo..we just temporarily misplaced it. It's still there, waiting on us to choose to bring it back. Yep, it's hard. Sometimes I'm not sure I can do it, but then I try to remember why I came here in the first place. I remember that I have to put ME first, and if I need to spend more time here, reading and getting motivated, then so be it.
Hang in there, MIchelle. Your determination IS an inspiration, whether you know it or not. Thanks for sticking in here with me.

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CRAZYWOMAN10 2/20/2012 5:04AM

    I seem to be in that same boat with you...and have been there since s*cks...BUT...I know that I will eventually come around...and I think you know it as well...Maybe we need to remind ourselves that we cannot let ourselves destroy all the hardwork weve done up until now :)

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KENTUCKYWOMAN 2/20/2012 3:42AM

    I hear you my friend. I am in the same boat as you are. I hope today's post on our thread might help.
Hang in there Sweetie, cause you are worth it.


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KNITTABLES 2/19/2012 11:08PM

    Hang in there, we have all been through this once or twice. Starting fresh everyday and letting go of yesterdays bad eating is the way to go. Soon you will find that you are back on track and being accountable. You are strong and you will and can do this. Now that you hubby knows as well as all of us. We are here to help.
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OAKSHAVEN 2/19/2012 7:24PM

    I don't know why we do it either, but it certainly happens to me, too. All I can say is: hang in there. I have restarted myself today, after a couple months of just plain not doing It. Join me? emoticon

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KENDRACARROLL 2/19/2012 7:02PM

    Wow, there seems a lot of that going around right now.
I'd say 90% of all blogs I read today (and I read many; that's my Sunday pleasure :)), speak of the same thing.

Your hubby's answer is typical male logic and makes me smile.

I've been through stretches like you're going through right now.
Only one thing to do - take it one decision at a time, one day at a time.
You WILL get though this, just hang in there.

I posted a whole bunch of motivational quotes on Dimis' blog this morning. Check it out.

Comment edited on: 2/19/2012 7:04:15 PM

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A funny to share with my spark friends:

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Is this not how some of us see the scale? Be honest that isn't always our favorite time of the week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANOE10 2/19/2012 9:06AM

    Love it. emoticon

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KNITTABLES 2/19/2012 1:52AM


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SHERYLDS 2/18/2012 2:53PM

    luv it ..... I'm taping mine to the ceiling

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RSWIFE 2/18/2012 1:08PM

    I did that today. I have been avoiding the scale for a couple of months now. Today I got on and saw I gained twelve pounds of the 68 I lost. I felt like crying, but it also gave me a kick in the pants to get started seriously again. The scale is a tool no matter how mean it feels. Love the joke. Thanks for posting.

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JULIEANNCAN 2/18/2012 12:00PM

    Yep, some people do see it that way. Thanks for sharing!

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CRAZYWOMAN10 2/18/2012 11:58AM

    I LOVE IT!

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My valentines

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I wanted to share my valentines gift with my spark friends. When I got home this was waiting for me. Gotta love that man.

Now I have to let you all know we don't usually exchange valentines. I mean I can say I love you any day of the week. So I got him a small box of emoticon and let me tell ya it just didn't compare. We laughed and laughed about how much I loved him. But in truth since we don't do anything I thought I was doing something great. Next year I will get him but good.

I also had my "Scale back Alabama" weigh in and i'm down another pound. That is three so far gone. Funny last year I was just going up and up and three may not seem like a lot to some but to me it is a turning point in my journey.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTABLES 2/16/2012 2:11AM

    Aw what a sweet man you have. congrats on the weight loss.

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 2/15/2012 11:53PM

    Congratulations on another pound gone! yay you!!
what a sweet valentine gesture! :)

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SHERYLDS 2/15/2012 10:13AM

    “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” ~Fredrick Koeing

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KENDRACARROLL 2/15/2012 10:02AM

    Congratulations on your wonderful man and a pound lost!
What a great Valentine's Day :)

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KANOE10 2/15/2012 6:56AM

    Loved your picture. What a a nice husband. I am glad you had a happy day..Congrats on losing 3 pounds.

Comment edited on: 2/15/2012 6:59:24 AM

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TAMPATINK67 2/15/2012 5:25AM

    Awesome - thanks for sharing!

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