Wow what a horrible couple of weeks. My grandmother fell and broke her hip, needed a rod and some screws and is now at the nursing home with physical therapy. My husbands mom passed away wednesday and that was a total shock. Now he is in Vermont and i'm here at home taking care of the "farm". We decided that was how it would be as there was going to be no funeral and no service. Creamation was all she wanted so my hubby heads north to say his goodbyes with his brother. Thankfully he lives with us so he has his strength as well as Rob having his. They get up there to find out nothing has been done, and to top it off no insurance. So instead of saying goodbye he is settling a lot of mess. If I can stress anything enough it is that you all take care before you go. Your children shouldn't be left with grief and things left undone. My husband can't even mourn yet as he is too busy and god willing this will be settled soon. I want him home with me and I tried to fly up there but he said there was no need to both of us to in that mess. Bless my hubby. He is the stronge one in our relationship and even on wednesday when I saw him fall and didn't quite know what to do for him...he picked himself back up and is doing what needs to be done. He has four other siblings and only my brother in law that lives with us is helping. so said. He is finding out the others are not very mature. Needless to say I have shown my daughter where all my things are just in case. She knows my wishes but as soon as my husband gets home we are heading to the lawyers and getting a will drawn up. I won't leave anything for my children except a gift. they must mourn and move on not have to put the pieces of my life back together.
Sorry I have vented but this seems to be the place to clear the air and say what I won't say to my husband. He has enough on his plate right now without me being angry. I'm just so upset with her and she is dead. Is that possible. Grief and then anger. I guess i'm healing. Todd says she didn't know, you have to know if you have life insurance. She also named two children in charge and they have no clue. So they nominated my hubby to be their speaker. God bless his strength.
Well lets see now this week started off great food wise and exercise wise. But as usual it quickly came to a halt. I had a gain on the scales at my "scale back" weigh in and that made me work harder for about four days. But my goal for the week was to have four good days and so that is success. Now today if I can, nope I can make this a five day week. Better than ever.
My grandmother fell this week and broke her hip, She is out of surgery with a rod and screws, in the nursing home now for 21 days of therapy, and she is doing better than we had hoped. Inspiration? you betcha. She is tough and only taking tylenol 3 for the pain. Huh??? where is her pain meds? But she says she doesn't need it. I want to be just like her when I grow up.
So that is about it in review. slow week but success in some spots. I will proceed on and take this one step at a time.
I seem to have lost my mojo does anyone know where I may have left it? I mean really folks what is going on inside a persons head that one day you do great and the next it is just the old you coming back with a vengance. I mean really a lot worse than the old you because the new you is obsessed with food.
You know what i'm talking about the new you is eating out of control... Foods you never cared for all of a sudden you just have to have them. A serving size what is that all about. One serving of anything means I would have to weigh or measure. I would much rather grab and go.
Well I have had a sudden moment of conscience. I can't stand myself at this moment but not enough to quit. I told my hubby my feelings and his answer...."well stop eating". Ok if it was that simple I would of done that already three years ago and been at goal. Nope it has gone past that. I'm not accountable anylonger.
I remember the joy of the new. Joining spark was such an addiction, I read, learned, studied, gained so much new knowledge. People came to me for ideas and info. Now? I seem to have misplaced that thing called mojo and I can't get at it right now. It is just out of my reach. I would be lying if I told you that I would begin fresh tomorrow. That may or may not happen. I have thought of quitting my leadership role on a couple of teams as I can't even lead myself let alone a whole group of people. But that isn't happening as of yet. I have found I need those teams maybe as much as someone needs me.
So I will end this blog on the note that I will try harder. Harder for myself, my sanity, my future. Because grab and go isn't always the best choice. I need to be aware of what i'm doing and now that my hubby knows I eat in the dark maybe I can come into the light. Admitting you have a problem is the first step right?
Overeaters isn't just a word for overweight people....some of us just hide it better than others.
I wanted to share my valentines gift with my spark friends. When I got home this was waiting for me. Gotta love that man.
Now I have to let you all know we don't usually exchange valentines. I mean I can say I love you any day of the week. So I got him a small box of and let me tell ya it just didn't compare. We laughed and laughed about how much I loved him. But in truth since we don't do anything I thought I was doing something great. Next year I will get him but good.
I also had my "Scale back Alabama" weigh in and i'm down another pound. That is three so far gone. Funny last year I was just going up and up and three may not seem like a lot to some but to me it is a turning point in my journey.