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And so the journey begins.....again

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Just when the caterpillar thought
the world was over, it became a butterfly.
- Anonymous

The winds of grace are always blowing;
all we need to do is raise our sails.
- Anonymous

For sometime now i've steadily gained my way up ten pounds. Now i'm not going to blame that on anything but myself. I've just not been into this so to speak. Oh I've thought I wanted it but did I really? I mean i've done half the work, eaten alot of not so good for me things, and really just about given up on myself. I have had my blood drawn and all was well there so it is definately me. So now is time for me to decide what I really want and need out of this journey. I guess I was looking for something and let it slip through my fingers. I've stopped coming up with new ideas and I've almost lost interest in the shopping for new foods. Funny I used to thrive on reading all over spark and now I just do what needs to be done and then I log off. I mean what is up with that???? I guess I thought I should be there by now. And really i've given up on myself. I guess to be honest the old me is in the forefront. The lazy me, the oh i'm tired me.

Since i'm on vacation this week and for the next couple of days we are here in sunny Florida with my parents it is time to decide what it is I want. Packing was no fun when nothing fits anylonger. I'm so not ready to go up a size. But it has happened the clothes I had packed to bring to the goodwill i'm not taking back out of the box so I have something to wear. Funny but when I was at home I could cover it up with sweats and such.....not so when you have to have something to wear out. So I headed out for a walk with my mom and we had a nice talk and it led to our weights. She is in Weight Watchers in vermont and i'm an online ww so we can compare. But we are both at the same place. She quit WW just before coming here. funny she wasn't losing, and i'm gaining. But it felt good to tell about my struggle and for someone to finally say "oh I know that feeling so well". Yup I get that here but this was a real live one on one person. I love my spark, but sometimes I think if I just had that person I could reach out and touch and head off for a walk with it would make all the difference. Well that isn't the truth either I have my daughter and we walk together a couple of nights a week. And that hasn't helped me either. I"m still gaining.

Ok. i've taken up so much space here. but some of you may know the place i'm at. that struggle that is going on inside of myself. the should I or shouldn't I place. do I continue or do I throw in the towel and pick up the pieces and try again.

I'm still deciding that but for now i'm going to give it one more week............and then one more.......you know the drill.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KENTUCKYWOMAN 11/7/2011 3:48AM

    Michelle, its true at one time or another we have all been right where you are, but you know that does not make it any easier for you. I just have to think if when I hit this big bump in my road with my surgeries and all the other stuff, if I had just thrown in the towel and said, ''to hell with it" by now I would be well on my way to 300 plus pounds again. I can't tell you not to give up, that is not my place to do that, I can tell that you are not happy right now and giving up is that going to make you happy?
Having that ''real'' live person there is why the meetings are so important to me, do you have a WW meeting in your town? If so I would suggest you get rid of the on line membership and hit the meetings.
We cannot be anything to anybody until we are something to ourselves. Sweetie you have to do what is best for you, and only you will be the one to make that decision.
Love you,
Joan

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IUHRYTR 11/6/2011 8:22PM

    I'm still using the goal of 5-6 positive days a week staying within calorie range and getting some exercise. If I do 6-7 days, it's a bonus, but if I meet the 5-6 positive days, I've had a successful week, not going wild on the off days, of course. Like in school, we did not need to be perfect to get an A. This has helped me maintain while I get the mind ready for another strong effort. Sometimes, i think we need a mental break and this is one way that allows us to have that break yet stay on track. Maybe t will work for you, too. -- Lou

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SLIMPAM23 11/6/2011 5:48PM

    AH MIchelle----
You probably feel alone in this thinking....but you are really in good company. I am with you and I know others are too. Not sure how I could have had so much success just to let it slip away. But I am NOT giving up....and neither are you. Glad you had your mom to confide in. Sometimes just a loving ear helps!! We are going to rise above this garbage. I am not sure what caused me to slip so far backwards....but I intend to find out because until we know WHY we do what we do....we can't stop doing it!!!
Have FUN on vacation with the family. And know that you are NEVER going to be alone my friend. I will be struggling right beside you as will many other friend!!
Pam

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CRAZYWOMAN10 11/6/2011 1:40PM

    Michelle, I have been there ohhh sooooo many times. I wish I had the magical answer...For me, I had to hit rock bottom and i HAD TO REALLY WANT IT. By getting a personal trainer and forcing myself to the gym EVERYDAY and not allowing one excuse..treating it like a "job" was the only way I got rolling this time. I hope you find your answer. Relax and enjoy your vacation...then hit the thinking bricks when you get back!

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KRICKET4 11/6/2011 12:39PM

    Sounds like you're having a good visit with your parents. I'm convinced that visiting with my parents and talking to them on the phone often keeps me grounded. That's something you can't see when you're 20 and moving far away from home. But as you get older, have kids of your own, and face challenges you never even imagined, it has become one of my life lines. Enjoy your time and your talks with your mom.

Motivation, indeed, does come and go.
My mindset changes daily, depending on my daily stress level. Sometimes it takes everything I've got just to get out of bed, and sometimes I'll sing from the rooftop :)

Curiously, I have noticed that the higher my stress level, the easier it is for me to stay on track with my food and exercise. While this is helpful in my current, never ending, situation, I'm thinking, in the long run this might be quite counter productive.

The fewer worries I have the more I eat, does this sound backwards to you?

Sorry, I'm a bit long winded today. It's pouring rain outside, which we really don't get much of here in Southern California; it totally feels like fall and I'm feeling kind of peaceful sitting here at the computer with my cup of coffee, sparking.

If my above theory is true, this should make for a bad eating day :) Well, let's see if I can prove myself wrong.

You need to do the same, prove yourself wrong. Whatever you think you can't do today, but know you should, prove yourself wrong. Change your thinking, show your head who's boss. This weight-loss game is a total mind game.

Do things that you know put you in a good mind set. Be it hanging out with your folks, reminiscing, taking a walk, or taking a nap.

In my opinion, this journey is 80% nutrition, 20% exercise, and 100% positive thinking.
You know the drill, my friend: Never give up, no matter what.

Comment edited on: 11/6/2011 12:43:23 PM

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JENNA3FROG 11/6/2011 8:20AM

    I'm there. I'm SO there. Just kind of waiting for it to 'click' again ... but I think I'm actually at that place now so we'll see what happens. I really, truly believe that somehow, some way, there has to be a 'straw that broke the camel's back' kind of moment that finally turns the tables and gives us that 'WANT TO' to replace the 'I SHOULD'. Until we have that moment though, we have to persevere and NOT give up and just do the best we can with our food choices and activity levels. Fake it 'til you make it, I suppose. I pray that you have your 'moment' soon, Michelle, and I also wish the best for you to 'keep on keepin' on' in the meantime.

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No matter what that scale said I did the work!!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011


It always seems impossible until its done.
- Nelson Mandela

I was going to begin this blog by telling you all my weigh in. But you know what I'm not. Because I had a great week. I exercised more than I have been and my spark activity counter shows that, i stayed on plan all week five out of six days. I slept like a baby every night. I even accomplished things at home and work that needed doing. So what those ole scales say don't mean crap at this moment. There is a glitch and that is that. I will not beat me up. I"m tired of that. I'm tired of living my dream to please someone else. Oh yeah to have all my dreams realized would be great but this is life and it happens. So as i pick up my pen to right my daily intake down i'm pretty proud of my week. I took control over my addiction (food) and I enjoyed a few things here and there and so what the number on the scales wasn't what I wanted. Is it ever really? It could be that it is my "time of month" fluid can cause a bit of trouble. Or it could be that I was working out so much my body decided to hold a few things back. Whatever the reason i'm here and i'm ready to begin this new week.

I am trying to love myself for the me I am right now. I'm trying to see the greatness in each good thing I do for me. So this just lets me see i'm wothy of all this trouble. Yes i'm going to see my goals reached but like was posted on a thread earlier this week....pennies make dollars. My weight loss journey is just like that...each gain, loss, or stay the same is just heading me in the direction to lose a pound.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAKAROO 10/24/2011 6:11AM

    hope you have a great week!

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WENDYSPARKS 10/23/2011 10:19AM

    emoticon

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IUHRYTR 10/23/2011 9:19AM

    Comparing ourselves to tugboats can allow us to understand our weight loss efforts. When attempting to move a heavily loaded barge, a tugboat (and often more tan one) gets up to speed and pushes the barge and pushes and pushes without seeing any movement. Eventually though the heavy barge does begin to move then to catch speed. Our weight loss can be like, too. We put in the effort day after day and see no progress until one day the scale drops, sometimes a lot, and surprises us. So stay the course and keep up the good effort. Progress will come. -- Lou

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KRICKET4 10/22/2011 12:47PM

    emoticon

I've had many weeks when I did everything right, and really felt great, just to get on the scale and find my weight much higher than what I felt it should be. Big downer! Not doing that any more.

If you do the work and you're honest about it and don't kid yourself, then success will follow.
No doubt about it.

Sending you emoticon

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IMREITE 10/22/2011 11:34AM

    there are days the scale goes up, but i still exercised with intensity and i feel strong. so i guess my mental attitudes are a sometimes a better measurement of the scale. normally it adjusts by the next week.

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JENNA3FROG 10/22/2011 11:22AM

    I love the title of this blog and you explained it quite well in the blog itself ... you know you did the work so it really doesn't matter what the scale says. That confidence and knowledge that you made the right choices and got the activity in is enough :) Good for you too for not beating yourself up ... you did good and I'm happy to see you acknowledging your efforts and not letting 'the number' get you down or throw you off course :D You ROCK, Michelle!

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CHRISTIEHURST 10/22/2011 9:06AM

    YOU ARE SO AWESOME!

Good for you, while we do go to the scale for "proof" that we are doing the right things I think we have it all wrong. Feeling positive about everything you are doing and knowing you are giving it your all should be your true PROOF. I myself have a problem with the scale. I actually get on it every day, and I hate that about myself. I am so impressed by the simple fact that YOU are not being a slave to the scale. What an inspiration!!
emoticon

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Weigh In: Not what it could of been

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Let every day be the first day
of the rest of your life,
but especially let today be a new beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny I began this week so full of energy and renewed determination. But like most weeks it ended on a gain. Why? Well me of course. I can't and I won't blame this on any one thing or any one choice. It was bad choices all week long. It was like one day just ran into the next. Oh I gave it the ole college try in the morning but by lunch I had added, or over eaten and that continued on to bed. I told myself I was hungry but the truth is I was stressed and just lazy. I made choices that were better left in the freezer, cabinet, or on the grocery shelves all together. So what if anything have a learned from this? I don't like where i'm at and the only way to change is for me to make the right choices regarding myself and my plan. So again today I begen with renew energy. Yeah how is this any different from the other weeks? Let me count the ways........first off this isn't a few pounds any longer. The pile of clothes that don't fit is adding up and it isn't the big ones this time, My self esteem is about nill right now. I don't like the me in the mirror, I've found that i'm not moving like I once did, chooseing to read at lunch than walk. And the final straw......I really don't like the me i've become. I hate lazy, and i'm the picture of it right now. So there the truth is out, and i'm free to begin fresh today.

I need to hold me accountable. I've said that before but that was before the clothes that I once was so proud to wear are now sitting on a shelf waiting on me. That is a big downer if you don't already know my pain. Kinda like failure spelled out in big letters on the wall. So since i've never gave up on anything I'm not about to now. I will begin fresh again today. I have a doctors appointment week after next and I will have the blood work and see what is what. BUt in the end it is going to come down to me putting in the work.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 10/15/2011 9:55PM

    Isn't it nice that new beginnings are unlimited? We will become failures when we refuse to start anew after getting off track. Until then we are successes. because we refuse to quit trying. -- Lou

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JENNA3FROG 10/15/2011 12:32PM

    The pile of clothes is mostly what has gotten me back on board too! I felt SO SO good when I went to the smaller sizes and now that I'm growing back out of them again it's just not good :( The 2 lb gain last weekend and subsequent rant on W8WFriends is what REALLY turned me around and I'm seeing results this week :) Now all I have to do is keep it going! Sometimes I think we just need to hit that 'straw that broke the camel's back' moment for it to really 'hit' us (smack us upside the back of our heads!) and make us turn ourselves around ... sad, but true, at least for me :/
Good luck and best wishes to you Michelle!
emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/15/2011 12:33:25 PM

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CRAZYWOMAN10 10/15/2011 9:00AM

    I know how frustrating it is...I am glad to see that you keep striving...and believe me...one of these strives are going to be the "ONE"!

Try hard not to stress about it, like I said, that just intensifies the issue (as I am sure you know). Just take it a day at a time, an hour at a time....or if you have to...a minute at a time.

NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP! DO IT FOR YOU!

(((HUGS)))

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CAROL6X 10/15/2011 6:53AM

    Don't give up-you can do it!!! It does take a bit of time to loose via scale. you can't always tell by the scale.
Sit down and re-evaluate what you have been doing wrong and make steps to right it.

It has been a month for me when I started. I weighed and it hasn't gone anywhere-but, my clothes are starting to feel looser. So, that is good.

You can do it!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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A fresh beginning.....10/9

Sunday, October 09, 2011

When you get into a tight place
and everything goes against you,
till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer,
never give up then, for that is just
the place and time the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Obstacles are those frightful things you see
when you take your eyes off your goals.
- Henry Ford

Circumstances don't defeat you -
you defeat yourself when you give up.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday you all helped me more than you can know. Thank you all. Today I told my husband I needed his support. He wanted to know why. I told him I had regained 10 pounds and he told me he didn't notice. He loved me just the way I was. I told him I didn't love me the way I am. Now this is my delemma. I know what I need to do, I know how to do it, Now is the time to do just that. WAKE UP and get moving. I will not give in or up, I will not cry is my wheaties over poor poor me. I have the strength and the want power to see this through.

Some see my weight tracker and have said " oh you only have 10 pounds to lose, don't beat yourself up", what you don't see is the old tracker. I began is journey at 154 pounds and that was down from 175. I'm 5' 1" and I should weigh a lot less. what you don't see is that i've regained 9 pounds. Yes I was almost to my goal. So never ever look at the face value of anything. We never know the struggles that people have gone through or what they are going through. My struggles are no less because I have less to lose. They are your struggles. I still fall down, and drag myself back up most days. But the thing is I drag me up.

Last night I asked myself what it was I wanted. why was I doing this, tracking, weighing and such if I was just going to keep eating my way through the day? I just cried. Crying isn't going to stop me from eating. I know i've got people here saying to just relax, take it slow, go off for a while and then restart. I can't do that. Oh I can take this slow, I do. BUt Going off isn't going to help me succeed. I read a response this morning and the lady said " I want to feel the excitement I felt when I first began" you know what that is exactly what is missing in me. The excitement for this. Somewhere along the line I lost it and i'm having a hard time finding it again.

So today I begin day one. Is the excitement there? Not really but hope is alive and I have a lot of that.

Michelle. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 10/12/2011 10:25PM

    I, too, know the excitement of continually seeing the scale numbers go down. For the eight months I could afford to go to the weight loss clinic I went from 290.4 to 247 and was so happy every day. Then expenses kept popping up that kept me from continuing with them and the weight has climbed back to around 260. It is frustrating and depressing knowing I haven't been able to do this on my own. But I will have to, as we all must in the end. Here's hoping we both have the inner strength to make wise eating decisions and can overcome the emotions that hold us back. Can I get a loud emoticon? -- Lou

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SLIMPAM23 10/10/2011 8:53PM

    Hey Michelle---
I have been a lax SP friend - but I am glad that I stumbled upon this blog. You are one strong lady....and you WILL get through this.....And whoever stated before me about STRESS is probably dead right....I know it's killing me and my abilities!! But just keep trying and never ever give up. You were so very close and you will be again...as long as you never give up on Michelle!!
Pam

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JENNA3FROG 10/9/2011 11:00PM

    Michelle, I agree 100% with what the previous responders to your blog have posted ... because I came to the same conclusion with my own journey this weekend. I think I've been too focused and consumed by all things calories and exercise. I'm just TOO close and I've decided to look at the bigger picture, long-term, rather than zoom in on every little teeny tiny thing in the short-term, day-to-day business of life. I am officially letting go and letting God. I'm certainly not giving up or not caring ... I'm just going to do the best I can and just make good choices MOST of the time instead of beating myself up for every choice I think is bad. I'm feeling much better about things in general after a lot of soul searching this weekend and I truly hope that you can get there too ... and soon! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let me know if there is ANYthing that I can do for you in the meantime ... I'm here for you and wish you only the best!

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KRICKET4 10/9/2011 3:25PM

    Don't beat yourself over the head, my friend.
Sounds to me like you're focusing on this losing weight thing entirely too much. I'm not yelling at you, because I have been in your place for a long long time.
Like you already do, just keep working on it, keep tweaking it, try whatever you have to try and do whatever you have to do. Main thing - never give up! Success is just around the corner.

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TEXASGIDGET 10/9/2011 2:13PM

    Michelle, I know the feeling, my friend, you and I just had this conversation on another thread about me feeling like my head was not in the game. We'll take this one step at a time...together we can do this. If it means we send each other our trackers through email, I can do that. We may not have the same excitement we had when we first began this journey (I started this in 2007), but I have met some wonderful friends along the way and I wouldn't trade one step of it for anything! It took me going to a nutritionist and having her help me to break things down before I realized that I needed some extra help. Perhaps the same can be said for you as well? Nonetheless, I'm here for you.

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CRAZYWOMAN10 10/9/2011 9:04AM

    Oh how I feel your pain...and been down that road oh so many times...

One thing I did learn that is a proven medical fact, and I may be repeating myself...is that STRESS actually activiates sometype of hormone that can hinder the weight loss progress...and unfortunately, that nasty hormone stays in your belly. I know how hard it is, but you have to somehow dig down and not allow you to be so hard on yourself...If that makes any sense??

Once I started realizing that my every freakin waking and probably sleeping minute of the day I was thinking about losing weight and exercising...I realized I was defintely on the wrong road..Once I said to myself...it is what it is...stop focusing on numbers, scales, others accomplishments and LIVE LIFE carefully, things started to work. Its really hard to put this in words...and its even harder to make you brain understand it...but once I let go..I felt so much better.

I hope you can somewhat understand what I am saying...

You know, sometimes, and I cant believe I'm saying this...but sometimes I felt like this site hindered my progress because I was reading too much of everyone elses success....when I fell back from here...and just recorded my food...I tended not to beat myself up so much.

I wish that I could offer the magic words...I really do..I hope that you find your path soon..and know that we are all here to support you ((hugs))

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My Roller Coaster ride (I want to get off)

Saturday, October 08, 2011

"Fall seven times, get up eight." - Japanese Proverb
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams
"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb
"Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never." - Winston Churchill
"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson

This morning I have to tell ya i'm wondering why do I bother? I had my usual weigh in this morning and it was down 0.2. I mean what is up with that. I just can't get my mind in the game lately. I don't mean a few weeks lately I mean months. I think i've lost almost a year somehow on this roller coaster I like to call a "lifestyle" change. I have fallen, gotten back up, restarted, replanned, moved more, less, eaten more, less, I've quit Weight Watchers, rejoined, took out favorite foods, put them back, you name it i've done it. I've weighed once a week, twice, daily. I've hidden the scales, kept them in full view. Packed away clothes, took them back out and repacked others, you get the picture. This year has not been a happy one. I have cried, kicked, yelled, fought back and just plain fallen to my knees and asked the lord what more I could do? I've seen the Doctor and the sad truth is it is me. Can't even blame it on my thyroid this time around. So roller coaster ride it is this time. I just want to get off now.

I have had good weeks this year.....not many but a few. I have had determination and then again i've just been at the bottom and really thought it would be easier to stay there. Why am I telling you this today? Because I want to see change. I figure if I put it out there, reread it a few times, it just might make some kind of sense to me. The figuring it out part and the why am I wanting to throw in the towel part that is.

I help lead a couple of great teams and sometimes I question should I be in the lead when I haven't yet figured out myself yet? Can I be a good leader with my mind in this place? The answer guys is YES. I want others to know that this lifestyle change is just that. A lifestyle. It won't fix itself overnight, it won't quit you, only you can quit it. And every day it is a struggle to find ;your place in it. Those that say it isn't are lying through their teeth. It is a daily struggle to wake up and eat that healthy breakfast when what you really want is a pastry. It is a struggle to cook after a long day at work when the drive through looks wonderful from here. It is a struggle to get up a bit early to work out before work when it would be so much easier to stay in that bed. So when you see that person that seems to have it all together, remember it is hard work to keep it there.

So am I capable of reaching my goals and helping others to reach theirs? YOU BETCHA. With each ohter we can accomplish anything and that includes getting off this darn Roller Coaster ride from hell. So spark friends please don"t let go of my hand.

Michelle. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAKAROO 10/9/2011 8:33AM

    Thanks for hanging in! You can succeed - any pounds lost no matter how small is still pounds lost

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IUHRYTR 10/9/2011 7:48AM

    More than a lifestyle struggle, losing weight is a constant battle we fight every day until we are victorious in reaching our weight loss goal. -- Lou

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TEXASGIDGET 10/8/2011 11:00PM

    Michelle, we're in this together, my friend! I'm on this roller coaster ride with you. Sometimes it seems like a really wild ride, but we can do this! One step at a time! Some days we just have to hold each other's hand and other days we need to hold each other up, but we're in it together! emoticon emoticon

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JENNA3FROG 10/8/2011 10:57PM

    I am SO right there with you, Michelle! There are so many times I read one of your replies to a thread or questions of the day and then your answer that I think 'that is so ME right now'. So just know that you are not alone on this roller coaster ... you've got lots of friends along for the ride and we're all in this together. Good luck and best wishes as we journey on along and we WILL get there slowly but surely as we hang on for all the ups and downs and twists and turns!

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LJKSHS 10/8/2011 11:43AM

    Michelle, as I was reading your blog I said to my husband "this lady is telling my story".

I know WW is probably the healthiest, but losing .2 here and there can be very discouraging. But I don't want to go on fad diets, lose the weight, and then gain it all back and even more.

So my friend hang in there, I guess those .2's will add up.

emoticon/we can together

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NELLJONES 10/8/2011 10:52AM

    Never give up, sure, but you also don't want to do the same thing over and over expecting different results, without making some slight change with each effort. It's so easy to wake up full of resolve, and go through most of the day full of resolve, but if you can't keep that resolve during those tiny little moments when your evil angel whispers in your ear, it won't work. I had to analyze those moments down to their smallest components and be willing to make changes. I don't walk down certain aisles in the grocery store. I don't keep certain foods in the house. I'll leave a party early if necessary. I eat out very seldom, no matter how lazy I feel. I could have said "I really want those things and can handle them", but that would be fooling myself. I can fool myself but not the scale, which is why we weigh in in the first place. The hardest part is how to find resolve when faced with the overwhelming, gut-wrenching desire for "just this". It has only gotten easier for me because I know how fleeting that desire is, that I can get past it, and I am willing to go to any lengths to either avoid it or move through it. The roller coaster of desire never goes away, but the roller coaster of the scale CAN move behind us. Hard to believe when in the throes of wrenching desire, but it's true.

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KENTUCKYWOMAN 10/8/2011 10:01AM

    Oh my dear friend, I am so right there with you now. Ever since I had my last surgery, I just cannot seem to get my head in the game and stay there for very long at a time.
Sweetie, we have to remember what will happen if we completely give up, so lets keep plugging alone, and hopefully one day that dang light bulb moment will happen for both of us. I'm here if you need me, you can count on that.

Hugs,
Joan

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CRAZYWOMAN10 10/8/2011 8:34AM

    I am right there with you girl! I think you know that part of both of our problems is that our age makes things so much more difficult. And stressing about the whole process really does hinder our progress...it is a proven fact.

We also have to learn to start being greatful for any bit of progress we do make! We have to do this for US! We have to live life and not let the lifestyle change consume our every thought.

Maybe changing these few things will help make this journey more satisfying...if that makes sense.

Im right here for you...my hand is just a click away!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/8/2011 8:37:53 AM

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HYPERTHRON 10/8/2011 7:56AM

  Wish you luck!

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