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Take a moment to enjoy the climb

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


It is good to have an end to journey towards;
but it is the journey that matters in the end.
- Ursula K. Le Guin


I came across this quote this morning and it just screamed for me to use it. I mean is this not what it is all about. Sometimes I myself get so wrapped up in the end result I forget to enjoy the journey along the way. You know what i'm talking about....the euphoria when you see a loss no matter how small, the feeling of triumph when you say no to your favorit food, or better yet finding a new way to fix it that doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth. Or better yet those skinny jeans that have been in the closet for a whille now and they finally fit. All of this is just part of the journey. It all adds up to SUCCESS!!

Like my favorite song to work out to says " it isn't whats waiting on the other side it's the climb"

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 11/24/2011 1:07PM

    Enjoying present moment successes does make the trip more pleasant. How boring would it be if we took a car trip but never noticed the forests or mountains or deserts or stopped at a diner in a small town and talked with the people there? Wishing you continued success, and enjoyment. -- Lou

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CRAZYWOMAN10 11/17/2011 4:45AM

    Well put! It is all those small steps in the journey that make it! Love it!

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MYINNERSTRENGTH 11/15/2011 9:56AM

    Love the quote you found as well!

emoticon
Kammy

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And so it begins:

Saturday, November 12, 2011


Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it,
Begin it now.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Funny this week I was on vacation and I had that aha moment. I can't pinpoint when it happened it just came to me like in a dream. I was sitting there and I thought to myself "when had I allowed food to become my best friend?" That is exactly what I had done. I had allowed food to rule my waking moments. Fill my head and my heart. My only desire had become when I was going to eat and what. I mean I was suppose to be working on me and suddenly I was working on eating and what I could get. Oh I can have that it won't show. Oh i've had days like this before and still lost. The only difference was I was having days like that everyday and not just once a week.

I would sit here on my days off, weekends were the worst, and I would eat my way through them. Oh I would get a few things done but the rest of the time was spent with food in my mouth. Why? It was my comfort. Instead of getting up and finding something to do to help me I just went to the pantry and found something else. The thing is what I was eating was eating me. It wasn't helping it was hurting. My choices were not the best. I would choose chips over fruit, I mean if I'm so hungry I can eat chips why can't I eat the fruit.....I really wan't hungry. Mostly I just wanted the comfort I could find in that bag, box, or bar.

As this thought hit me I decided I wanted change. I had been saying I wanted it but I was so attached to the mindless eating that I couldn't allow that to change. The scales just went up and up. For six months now i've steadily gained ten pounds back. It isn't a pretty thing to say...I gained back a lot of my weight I had lost. I mean I had lost twenty-two pounds and half of that is back. I have to tell ya it makes me feel like a failure.

But here is where the "aha moment" comes in......I"m not a failure. I'm just in need of something more. I don't want to be the sit at home person. Oh I thought I was but when I was on vacation I so enjoyed going and going. I lost 1.6 pounds this week and that is on vacation. Did I eat out? yup. But I made better choices and I limited my snacking. One day I thought food hadn't taken over my mind in days. It was like a rebirth. The peanuts didn't call my name in fact I really don't want them now, The chips, nope, the candy, not what I want. I have been back to making better choices and that feels good. I'm in control of me right now. I can't say what tomorrow will bring but i'm ready for today.

And so it begins: my Journey back to me.
MIchelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 11/14/2011 8:42PM

    emoticon on your weight loss. Your story about the eating sounds like mine lately. I'm sure much of it is from boredom, stress and maybe loneliness. But new beginnings are unlimited so one day, one pound at a time. we can do it. -- Lou

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CRAZYWOMAN10 11/13/2011 5:09AM

    way to take control girl!

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KENDRACARROLL 11/12/2011 1:52PM

    I always lose weight on vacation, too. You're right, there is usually so much to see and so much to do, when we're out of our everyday environment.
Maybe we should just be on vacation all the time :)

Having food on your mind 24/7 is a terrible stage. But now that you've realized it, you're on your way to move past it.

What helps me is setting "meal times". Something like breakfast between 7:00 and 9:00, lunch between noon and 14:00, snack between 15:00 and 17:00, dinner between 18:00 and 20:00. If you get the munchies outside of these times it helps knowing that it won't be long and you'll get to eat.

Keep trucking along my friend, never give up.
Let's watch those pesky pounds drop off again.
You've got this!

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 11/12/2011 9:27AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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And so the journey begins.....again

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Just when the caterpillar thought
the world was over, it became a butterfly.
- Anonymous

The winds of grace are always blowing;
all we need to do is raise our sails.
- Anonymous

For sometime now i've steadily gained my way up ten pounds. Now i'm not going to blame that on anything but myself. I've just not been into this so to speak. Oh I've thought I wanted it but did I really? I mean i've done half the work, eaten alot of not so good for me things, and really just about given up on myself. I have had my blood drawn and all was well there so it is definately me. So now is time for me to decide what I really want and need out of this journey. I guess I was looking for something and let it slip through my fingers. I've stopped coming up with new ideas and I've almost lost interest in the shopping for new foods. Funny I used to thrive on reading all over spark and now I just do what needs to be done and then I log off. I mean what is up with that???? I guess I thought I should be there by now. And really i've given up on myself. I guess to be honest the old me is in the forefront. The lazy me, the oh i'm tired me.

Since i'm on vacation this week and for the next couple of days we are here in sunny Florida with my parents it is time to decide what it is I want. Packing was no fun when nothing fits anylonger. I'm so not ready to go up a size. But it has happened the clothes I had packed to bring to the goodwill i'm not taking back out of the box so I have something to wear. Funny but when I was at home I could cover it up with sweats and such.....not so when you have to have something to wear out. So I headed out for a walk with my mom and we had a nice talk and it led to our weights. She is in Weight Watchers in vermont and i'm an online ww so we can compare. But we are both at the same place. She quit WW just before coming here. funny she wasn't losing, and i'm gaining. But it felt good to tell about my struggle and for someone to finally say "oh I know that feeling so well". Yup I get that here but this was a real live one on one person. I love my spark, but sometimes I think if I just had that person I could reach out and touch and head off for a walk with it would make all the difference. Well that isn't the truth either I have my daughter and we walk together a couple of nights a week. And that hasn't helped me either. I"m still gaining.

Ok. i've taken up so much space here. but some of you may know the place i'm at. that struggle that is going on inside of myself. the should I or shouldn't I place. do I continue or do I throw in the towel and pick up the pieces and try again.

I'm still deciding that but for now i'm going to give it one more week............and then one more.......you know the drill.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KENTUCKYWOMAN 11/7/2011 3:48AM

    Michelle, its true at one time or another we have all been right where you are, but you know that does not make it any easier for you. I just have to think if when I hit this big bump in my road with my surgeries and all the other stuff, if I had just thrown in the towel and said, ''to hell with it" by now I would be well on my way to 300 plus pounds again. I can't tell you not to give up, that is not my place to do that, I can tell that you are not happy right now and giving up is that going to make you happy?
Having that ''real'' live person there is why the meetings are so important to me, do you have a WW meeting in your town? If so I would suggest you get rid of the on line membership and hit the meetings.
We cannot be anything to anybody until we are something to ourselves. Sweetie you have to do what is best for you, and only you will be the one to make that decision.
Love you,
Joan

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IUHRYTR 11/6/2011 8:22PM

    I'm still using the goal of 5-6 positive days a week staying within calorie range and getting some exercise. If I do 6-7 days, it's a bonus, but if I meet the 5-6 positive days, I've had a successful week, not going wild on the off days, of course. Like in school, we did not need to be perfect to get an A. This has helped me maintain while I get the mind ready for another strong effort. Sometimes, i think we need a mental break and this is one way that allows us to have that break yet stay on track. Maybe t will work for you, too. -- Lou

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SLIMPAM23 11/6/2011 5:48PM

    AH MIchelle----
You probably feel alone in this thinking....but you are really in good company. I am with you and I know others are too. Not sure how I could have had so much success just to let it slip away. But I am NOT giving up....and neither are you. Glad you had your mom to confide in. Sometimes just a loving ear helps!! We are going to rise above this garbage. I am not sure what caused me to slip so far backwards....but I intend to find out because until we know WHY we do what we do....we can't stop doing it!!!
Have FUN on vacation with the family. And know that you are NEVER going to be alone my friend. I will be struggling right beside you as will many other friend!!
Pam

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CRAZYWOMAN10 11/6/2011 1:40PM

    Michelle, I have been there ohhh sooooo many times. I wish I had the magical answer...For me, I had to hit rock bottom and i HAD TO REALLY WANT IT. By getting a personal trainer and forcing myself to the gym EVERYDAY and not allowing one excuse..treating it like a "job" was the only way I got rolling this time. I hope you find your answer. Relax and enjoy your vacation...then hit the thinking bricks when you get back!

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KENDRACARROLL 11/6/2011 12:39PM

    Sounds like you're having a good visit with your parents. I'm convinced that visiting with my parents and talking to them on the phone often keeps me grounded. That's something you can't see when you're 20 and moving far away from home. But as you get older, have kids of your own, and face challenges you never even imagined, it has become one of my life lines. Enjoy your time and your talks with your mom.

Motivation, indeed, does come and go.
My mindset changes daily, depending on my daily stress level. Sometimes it takes everything I've got just to get out of bed, and sometimes I'll sing from the rooftop :)

Curiously, I have noticed that the higher my stress level, the easier it is for me to stay on track with my food and exercise. While this is helpful in my current, never ending, situation, I'm thinking, in the long run this might be quite counter productive.

The fewer worries I have the more I eat, does this sound backwards to you?

Sorry, I'm a bit long winded today. It's pouring rain outside, which we really don't get much of here in Southern California; it totally feels like fall and I'm feeling kind of peaceful sitting here at the computer with my cup of coffee, sparking.

If my above theory is true, this should make for a bad eating day :) Well, let's see if I can prove myself wrong.

You need to do the same, prove yourself wrong. Whatever you think you can't do today, but know you should, prove yourself wrong. Change your thinking, show your head who's boss. This weight-loss game is a total mind game.

Do things that you know put you in a good mind set. Be it hanging out with your folks, reminiscing, taking a walk, or taking a nap.

In my opinion, this journey is 80% nutrition, 20% exercise, and 100% positive thinking.
You know the drill, my friend: Never give up, no matter what.

Comment edited on: 11/6/2011 12:43:23 PM

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JENNA3FROG 11/6/2011 8:20AM

    I'm there. I'm SO there. Just kind of waiting for it to 'click' again ... but I think I'm actually at that place now so we'll see what happens. I really, truly believe that somehow, some way, there has to be a 'straw that broke the camel's back' kind of moment that finally turns the tables and gives us that 'WANT TO' to replace the 'I SHOULD'. Until we have that moment though, we have to persevere and NOT give up and just do the best we can with our food choices and activity levels. Fake it 'til you make it, I suppose. I pray that you have your 'moment' soon, Michelle, and I also wish the best for you to 'keep on keepin' on' in the meantime.

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No matter what that scale said I did the work!!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011


It always seems impossible until its done.
- Nelson Mandela

I was going to begin this blog by telling you all my weigh in. But you know what I'm not. Because I had a great week. I exercised more than I have been and my spark activity counter shows that, i stayed on plan all week five out of six days. I slept like a baby every night. I even accomplished things at home and work that needed doing. So what those ole scales say don't mean crap at this moment. There is a glitch and that is that. I will not beat me up. I"m tired of that. I'm tired of living my dream to please someone else. Oh yeah to have all my dreams realized would be great but this is life and it happens. So as i pick up my pen to right my daily intake down i'm pretty proud of my week. I took control over my addiction (food) and I enjoyed a few things here and there and so what the number on the scales wasn't what I wanted. Is it ever really? It could be that it is my "time of month" fluid can cause a bit of trouble. Or it could be that I was working out so much my body decided to hold a few things back. Whatever the reason i'm here and i'm ready to begin this new week.

I am trying to love myself for the me I am right now. I'm trying to see the greatness in each good thing I do for me. So this just lets me see i'm wothy of all this trouble. Yes i'm going to see my goals reached but like was posted on a thread earlier this week....pennies make dollars. My weight loss journey is just like that...each gain, loss, or stay the same is just heading me in the direction to lose a pound.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAKAROO 10/24/2011 6:11AM

    hope you have a great week!

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WENDYSPARKS 10/23/2011 10:19AM

    emoticon

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IUHRYTR 10/23/2011 9:19AM

    Comparing ourselves to tugboats can allow us to understand our weight loss efforts. When attempting to move a heavily loaded barge, a tugboat (and often more tan one) gets up to speed and pushes the barge and pushes and pushes without seeing any movement. Eventually though the heavy barge does begin to move then to catch speed. Our weight loss can be like, too. We put in the effort day after day and see no progress until one day the scale drops, sometimes a lot, and surprises us. So stay the course and keep up the good effort. Progress will come. -- Lou

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KENDRACARROLL 10/22/2011 12:47PM

    emoticon

I've had many weeks when I did everything right, and really felt great, just to get on the scale and find my weight much higher than what I felt it should be. Big downer! Not doing that any more.

If you do the work and you're honest about it and don't kid yourself, then success will follow.
No doubt about it.

Sending you emoticon

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IMREITE 10/22/2011 11:34AM

    there are days the scale goes up, but i still exercised with intensity and i feel strong. so i guess my mental attitudes are a sometimes a better measurement of the scale. normally it adjusts by the next week.

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JENNA3FROG 10/22/2011 11:22AM

    I love the title of this blog and you explained it quite well in the blog itself ... you know you did the work so it really doesn't matter what the scale says. That confidence and knowledge that you made the right choices and got the activity in is enough :) Good for you too for not beating yourself up ... you did good and I'm happy to see you acknowledging your efforts and not letting 'the number' get you down or throw you off course :D You ROCK, Michelle!

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CHRISTIEHURST 10/22/2011 9:06AM

    YOU ARE SO AWESOME!

Good for you, while we do go to the scale for "proof" that we are doing the right things I think we have it all wrong. Feeling positive about everything you are doing and knowing you are giving it your all should be your true PROOF. I myself have a problem with the scale. I actually get on it every day, and I hate that about myself. I am so impressed by the simple fact that YOU are not being a slave to the scale. What an inspiration!!
emoticon

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Weigh In: Not what it could of been

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Let every day be the first day
of the rest of your life,
but especially let today be a new beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny I began this week so full of energy and renewed determination. But like most weeks it ended on a gain. Why? Well me of course. I can't and I won't blame this on any one thing or any one choice. It was bad choices all week long. It was like one day just ran into the next. Oh I gave it the ole college try in the morning but by lunch I had added, or over eaten and that continued on to bed. I told myself I was hungry but the truth is I was stressed and just lazy. I made choices that were better left in the freezer, cabinet, or on the grocery shelves all together. So what if anything have a learned from this? I don't like where i'm at and the only way to change is for me to make the right choices regarding myself and my plan. So again today I begen with renew energy. Yeah how is this any different from the other weeks? Let me count the ways........first off this isn't a few pounds any longer. The pile of clothes that don't fit is adding up and it isn't the big ones this time, My self esteem is about nill right now. I don't like the me in the mirror, I've found that i'm not moving like I once did, chooseing to read at lunch than walk. And the final straw......I really don't like the me i've become. I hate lazy, and i'm the picture of it right now. So there the truth is out, and i'm free to begin fresh today.

I need to hold me accountable. I've said that before but that was before the clothes that I once was so proud to wear are now sitting on a shelf waiting on me. That is a big downer if you don't already know my pain. Kinda like failure spelled out in big letters on the wall. So since i've never gave up on anything I'm not about to now. I will begin fresh again today. I have a doctors appointment week after next and I will have the blood work and see what is what. BUt in the end it is going to come down to me putting in the work.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 10/15/2011 9:55PM

    Isn't it nice that new beginnings are unlimited? We will become failures when we refuse to start anew after getting off track. Until then we are successes. because we refuse to quit trying. -- Lou

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JENNA3FROG 10/15/2011 12:32PM

    The pile of clothes is mostly what has gotten me back on board too! I felt SO SO good when I went to the smaller sizes and now that I'm growing back out of them again it's just not good :( The 2 lb gain last weekend and subsequent rant on W8WFriends is what REALLY turned me around and I'm seeing results this week :) Now all I have to do is keep it going! Sometimes I think we just need to hit that 'straw that broke the camel's back' moment for it to really 'hit' us (smack us upside the back of our heads!) and make us turn ourselves around ... sad, but true, at least for me :/
Good luck and best wishes to you Michelle!
emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/15/2011 12:33:25 PM

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CRAZYWOMAN10 10/15/2011 9:00AM

    I know how frustrating it is...I am glad to see that you keep striving...and believe me...one of these strives are going to be the "ONE"!

Try hard not to stress about it, like I said, that just intensifies the issue (as I am sure you know). Just take it a day at a time, an hour at a time....or if you have to...a minute at a time.

NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP! DO IT FOR YOU!

(((HUGS)))

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CAROL6X 10/15/2011 6:53AM

    Don't give up-you can do it!!! It does take a bit of time to loose via scale. you can't always tell by the scale.
Sit down and re-evaluate what you have been doing wrong and make steps to right it.

It has been a month for me when I started. I weighed and it hasn't gone anywhere-but, my clothes are starting to feel looser. So, that is good.

You can do it!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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