Saturday, July 23, 2011
This morning as I was taking my dogs and me for a nice longggg walk I had my mind clear, the birds singing, the walk was just going along nicely. This is the time I think, plan, clear my mind and relax. Well this morning it dawned on me that I wasn't on this journey as a diet anylonger but it had become a lifestyle for me. I had a gain this week which yet again brought me up a pound. Now I must be honest here I did it all by the book this week. So I was a bit upset. Of course it is my PMS week and that usually means two pounds gain but heck one is ok, so anyhow, I was so upset over this yet again setback that I thought about just quitting. I mean giving up the teams, the leaderships, all of it. I mean this has been going on for a long time and to be honest i'm about sick of counting, watching, weighing, saying no when what I want to say is " yeah I would love to have that cake". Well what I did was none of those things. What I did was come in sit down put the numbers in spark, set a new goal, get my notebook ready for another day of inputting, and then I headed off for a hour walk with the guys. Do you know why I did this? Because I could no more quit then and give up than not see me grandson one more time. this is a part of my life now. It is a habit, one I want to continue. Yeah the road has been full of bumps but i've come far. I"m at a weight that really for oh so many years I only dreamed of reaching because I could never give up the junk, the couch, any of it. But I have and I am. I'm exercising every morning. Whether it is for 20 minutes or 60 each morning i'm moving. I walk each day at my lunch, I could of quit this about two years or more ago but I didn't. I eat for the most part healthy foods and the junk is only on occasion.
So what does this say about me? I've come to the conclusion that i'm on this journey for better and better. And right now I can live with me like I am. Yeah I have a few more pounds to go and it may take me a long time to reach it. That is because of myself, not the plan. So i'm thinking for now I will just relax, enjoy spark and the ride, and learn to love myself. Because if the truth be told that is what all this comes down to....loving who we are no matter the weight.