Saturday, November 09, 2013
We hear two voices calling us,
one saying, "Why not?"
and the other, "Why bother?"
- Sydney J. Harris
Oh I have heard the voices so many times. Most especially when I step on the scales and I have gained a bit. Ok saying a bit is a understatement. I'm back to where I once began and that is with a loss. So why am I telling you this?
We all have a past filled with something. Good, bad, wonderful, better left unsaid. But the key here is it is in the past. It can't hurt you any longer. So why carry that guilt? I mean I can be anything I want to be and unhealthy was never in the running so why am I allowing that to rule my life now? Yesterday as I awoke from my chip coma, yep people it happens...i'm an addict and I've said it before. Anyhow I decided that I didn't want that any longer. I had to give them up. I can't eat just one, one ounce, or one handful. I need them all. If a chip in still in the bag I will make sure to eat it to the last crumb. Do I do this in public? Hell no. I eat it in silence, in my bedroom, or in the car during lunch. Why? Because I know that i'm doing something that I shouldn't. What i'm doing isn't right. I mean I've had lunch, I've eaten great food and planned food. So why did I head down that chip aisle and buy that big bag? What is it in my head that makes me do that? Well i'll tell ya cold turkey is the only way this is going to stop. I have even worried about not getting to have just one chip with my sandwich. The reality is I won't have just one. I can tell myself that as I get the big bag but I know in the back of my mind there won't be any left for tomorrows lunch. Yup you guessed it the cycle will begin again the next day.
So my confession is over. I can come here and say I put all seven servings in the food tracker. Pretty? no way but I need to stop hiding behind that bag. I work at walmart and yes I have access to the chip aisle at anytime, but here is the kicker, I work in the pharmacy....the chip aisle is way on the other side of the store. So only an addict would walk way out of her way to get to the chips, because I really only need a few to go with that sandwich. REALLY???????
So today I start clean. I don't have any chips in the house, I won't go to the store, I won't I won't I won't....why?????