MAGA99   149,531
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MAGA99's Recent Blog Entries

New Hair Cut & ER Update

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I don't like it . I cut my hair & then my hubby decided to HELP & now the sides r too short.
but I figure by the time I have to go to hubby cousin Quinceañera next mth - my hair should b the way I wanted it
I cut my hair as part of a process I've been dealing w a real sever depression episode w my bi-polar it happens alot. Last time I was this bad I tried to take my own life. BUT this time I was able to fight that by being more vocal about what I was feeling n going thru. I feel the meds help me to do that. The cutting of my hair usually means my episode is coming to an end. Weird but its the way it works.

Last night I was in the er I have 1st degree burns on my right foot right thigh & left breast. Hubby & I were cooking together I was frying pork chops & he was making yellow rice w blk beans. He accidentally hit the handle of the frying pan 7 since the stove in uneven it slid off. He seen it falling & Yelled to move BUT being that my legs aint working to well these days i couldnt move so quick It fell on my foot then splashed up on my thigh I went to move and fell and thats how the breast got burnt. we had company n my friend got to c more of me then I ever wanted. I tried not to go to the hosp so i soaked in my cool pool but once it started blistering. I didnt know this but with burns u need a tetanus shot - my shoulder still hurts.

As to y my legs aint been working right - DONT KNOW Y but its like it was after surgery last yr I cant lift them n my ins doesnt cover any of my test so I have to apply for charity care which is such a hassle.

my goal @ this point is to get back to blogging & tracking food
prayerfully I m moving in 2 mths - we r moving into an apt so that grumpy (my dad) & I can get around a better

I thank all of my friends here on spark 4 the support & encouragement especially my Ruby friends

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAISY443 8/15/2012 4:36PM

    Maga, take care of yourself! I like the haircut, though!

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MTNGRL 8/14/2012 8:55PM

    I am glad that your episode is coming to an end and you were able to be more vocal. That shows such progress/ P am proud of you.
However, I am so sorry you were burned. I thinkn going to the ER was the right thing to do. Hope it heal fast and well.

Now, I am a short hair kind of girl. Used to have long hair, it was too much trouble. Experiment with different 'products' to help style. Some moose, or gel can do wonders. So can styling cream or paste. I never curl my hair, and rarely dry it. Just let it air dry, put in some stuff, fluff and go!

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BEEJAY49 8/14/2012 4:30PM

    I'm so very sorry you got burned. :( HUGS! Hopefully it will feel better soon. Unfortunately things like that happen. I will be praying for you. I'm glad though you cut your hair instead of something worse. You know we all love you and are here for you!
I didn't think about needing a tetnus shot for a burn, but I guess it makes sense since you could get a bad infection from it. Hang in there. HUGS!

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BARBARAROSE54 8/14/2012 3:21PM


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MINDYJ1 8/14/2012 3:04PM

    I'm so sorry about your burns. I hope it heals fast. Sometimes I feel like cutting my hair short but i know my hubby wouldn't be very happy about it, lol. The short hair cut should be easier to take care of! Hope things get better! Hugs, Mindy

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USMAWIFE 8/14/2012 1:56PM

    So sorry that all this has happened to you. After you wash your hair you might be able to restyle it a bit. Also remember one thing, hair does grow back.

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 8/14/2012 12:21PM

    Maga, I am so sorry you got burned! I cringed just reading about that. I am praying that the burns heal quickly and that you are not in pain.
Sorry you don't like your haircut, but I think it looks great on you! Very sassy looking! But if you're not happy with it, try styling it a little around with it and maybe you'll come up with a look you'll be happy with.


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LITTLE_QUEEN 8/14/2012 12:19PM


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I Give Up On Trying To Lose Weight

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Yeah u read it right I've decided to give up on trying to lose weight.

I will no longer feel guilty about eating certain foods.
I will no longer feel guilty about not exercising

But. . .
I will focus on getting healthy.
I will focus on moving around everyday
i will focus on doing more every day
I will focus on the positive and NOT the negative

I know that with my bipolar there will still b bad days. When I have those days I will just have them. No I cant control them BUT I can control how I deal w them afterwards.

Today is a good day so I will focus on doing what I can do. I will not focus on the negative.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAISY443 6/20/2012 10:12AM

    Great plan! Good for you!

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NATIVE_ONE 6/20/2012 8:59AM

    It sounds sort of ironic that the title of your blog was my approach to 2012. What I had been doing in the two years before just wasn't working. So this year, I thought I just would do the focusing thing too. And you know what - this year since doing so was my biggest weight loss yet. In the past two years, I dropped 30 pounds but since I refocused - in the last 6 months I lost 30 pounds.

I hope that your plan of action is as successful as you want it to be. I wish you great success!

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PATTYS1959 6/18/2012 1:29AM

    Good for you!!! Those sound like great goals! emoticon

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AGRLNKY 6/17/2012 12:22AM

    I am with ya! Living with frequent bipolar cycles is enough to deal with on its own. I have decided to stop counting calories and start counting the good things. Walking a little further every evening, drinking only water, take my meds at the exact same time daily, sticking to a routine... these are the things I celebrate and these are the things that are bringing positive change. High Five to you for doing what works for you!

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BLUEROSE73 6/16/2012 11:10PM

    That is awesome. It sounds like a great plan.

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MNNICE 6/16/2012 10:27PM

    If you focus on health, the rest will follow!

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 6/16/2012 9:54PM

    Make it about getting healthy, first and foremost. The weight will start coming off if you do. Its working for me.
You have a great attitude, it sounds like you know just what you need to do!
I'm here if you need support.

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MELINDAKAYE2 6/16/2012 9:25PM

    Good luck!!!

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LITTLE_QUEEN 6/16/2012 8:44PM


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NANFACEMIRE1 6/16/2012 7:03PM

    Please, never give up, but think positive and make each day the best it can be.....sounds like you know what is going to be best for you.

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TYLERDRANGUET 6/16/2012 5:53PM

    I was the same as BEEJAY, but apparently you don't need us to tell you to keep going! You've got this!

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BEEJAY49 6/16/2012 5:16PM

    I was all ready to say...DON'T GIVE UP!!! :) I love your focuses. :) Go with them! HUGS!

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its confusing

Saturday, June 09, 2012

I m that support person. The person that everyone comes to. I have an exfriend who I haven't really dealt with much over the last cpl of yrs other then when ever she is in need she seems to come looking for me. I seem to know what to say to help ppl thru pretty much everything. Yet I cant help myself. It is so confusing how can I help everyone but myself

The last yr has been a really rough year. My bipolar is at its worse. I m still having problems from my spinal fusion which was a little over a yr ago.

Its so hard to b a caregiver who cant even take care of herself. I spend most of my time in bed lately but I do manage to make sure that grumpy gets fed everyday and has his meds.

Hubby has been trying to work but isn't going to b able to as it has gotten more difficult for me to care for myself.

I miss volunteering - I felt alive when I was able to do it.

Well the pool is up and running so prayerfully the pool will help with my healing process. I wasn't able to swim much last yr due to the incision taking so much time to heal.

Well I guess that's enough whining for today prayerfully this is me finally starting to move forward

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAISY443 6/11/2012 12:35PM

    Sorry you're not feeling well! Can you try taking short walks once a day just to get out and around? Take care of yourself! Hugs!

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NATIVE_ONE 6/11/2012 6:00AM

    I wish you well, and hopefully the pool will get you feeling better. Hopefully with the more sunnier and warmer weather coming too, you will begin to feel better and able to comfort yourself. Then you may be able to do some short stints of volunteer work which hopefully snowball itself into smaller and longer victories. Best of luck!

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ONBEACHSIDE 6/10/2012 4:47PM

    I do believe if you are a caregiver, it is much easier to advocate for others than yourself. I have had to make a concerted effort to try to advocate for myself.

Surgery can be a 50/50 chance of improving your life. That is why many surgeons will not jump to surgery as they did in the 1980's.. Do not forget that nerves being damaged is what has been sending the pain signals to your brain. If the surgeon took the pressure off the nerves, you can still feel pain, think of phantom limb pain were people who have had a limb amputated but still feel pain in the non-existng limb. Give the nerves time, it could take years for the nerves to repair and they may not be 100% when done. Do you have pain medicine and do you take it? Does it help or do you need something stronger? Does your doctor know that you wish that maybe you shouldn't have had this surgery? If so, what does he have to say?

I understand that being bi-polar also makes this tougher, just try your best to be your own best friend, your advocate and do what you can and still be comfortable. I only wish for you the best and great improvement in your life. You do sound optomistic about the pool and I hope you get good results.


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BEEJAY49 6/10/2012 4:57AM

    I think most of us are better at helping others than we are ourselves. I'm pretty much the same way. There are some that are chosen to be the people that help others in need no matter what. We are good at what we do, but we can't do it for ourselves. You are not alone there. :)

I hope the pool will help you with your healing. Love you! HUGS!

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a poem by one of my students

Saturday, May 26, 2012

I live & volunteer in one of the poorest & most dangerous cities in the united states; unfortunately we are often in the top 5 on these list
due to my health I m no longer able to hold down a job but I try to volunteer when I m up 2 it. One of the places I volunteer is @ a Christian High School that my church started. I teach violence prevention I call the class Peace Skills. Here is a copy of a poem that one of my student wrote as part of a power point presentation.
I hope u enjoy it as much as I did

When Will the City Sing?
So much violence,so much pain and we all look at one another wondering who's to blame. Outsiders look upon us with so much shame, how can we change? So many souls taken so many hearts breaking can't you feel the city shaking? Rest in peace signs everywhere you go.....makes you walk around with your head held low. City police drive around just for show, but it's just we all know.
Let's make a difference to save the fifes of the young; we can't keep crossing our fingers hoping for something that has not begun. Living in fear is no fun! Your smile hides the pain inside. Authority promised less violence so many times, reality flash...they lied. We can,t blame the police or anyone else. The blame is on the criminals who had more then enough times to correct themselves. Have you ever stop to think that your interacting with people who belong in a jail cell?You walk pass victims who smile but really want to yell “ever since this happen I feel like I'm living in hell!” But are afraid to speak up and are hidden in there shell. Mothers and fathers never thought that they would be the ones to bury there child. Fathers realize that they will never be able to walk there daughters down the aisle .Then feelings begin to pile.
Then they wonder what will happen in the next couple of miles.
Brothers and sisters never thought that they would have to live without there siblings. They wake up every morning wishing there brother or sister were still living. They think of the person responsible for there death and wonder, what's the point of forgiving? Emotions build up and the tradition will keep reliving.
Husbands and wives say goodbye to their lovers they never guessed that the time would come sooner then discovered, nothing feels the same, and the feeling is so indescribable they constantly blame themselves instead of others.
Children suffer and grieve over there father or mother. Now they wonder who will they go to, because all they had were each other.. They don't know what to say or do it's still unbelievable that their parents lives are through. It's not like they'll be happy out of the blue. They lost someone they always knew.
You see...this poem is not meant to make you sad, it,s not meant to make you cry, and it,s not meant to define how many people died. It,s meant to define the truth to show you what matters to help climb the everlasting ladder. To prevent violence and all the triumphs it brings to come together hand in hand able to finally sing.
Angelie Smith

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATIVE_ONE 6/2/2012 7:35AM

    So nice!

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DAISY443 5/29/2012 11:51AM

    What insight that young person has! Thanks so much for sharing!

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JERZRN 5/27/2012 9:20AM

    Thanks for sharing. Very powerful.

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BEEJAY49 5/27/2012 4:25AM

    Very deep and wonderful! Thank you for sharing that! Hugs!

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JESSICAWALKS 5/27/2012 12:19AM

    Wow, that's powerful...thank you.

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Gonna Keep Trying

Saturday, May 12, 2012

this is gonna b my new motto
y cause I realize that as long as I keep trying then I havent failed so

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATIVE_ONE 5/16/2012 7:17AM

    Great words of wisdom....keep trying! When we give it our best, we are doing our best! emoticon

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BEEJAY49 5/14/2012 3:22AM

    Never give up! You can do this! HUGS!

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 5/13/2012 8:58AM

    Thats right Maga! As long as you are trying, you aren't failing. Keep up the good work!

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ARIAS1111 5/12/2012 11:19PM

    I like it, way to go. Keep thinking positive.

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ARIAS1111 5/12/2012 11:17PM

    I like it, way to go. Keep thinking positive.

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