Thursday, February 02, 2012
Today was a good day. I decided today that I needed to bless my neighbor with some things she needed & while we were taking care of it I was blessed by an old friend. GOD IS SO GOOD.
My eating was mixed today but I didnt go over my calories. My exercise was ok today but not what I wanted it 2 b; but i'm still a little sore form my fall yesterday.
I dvr a show about a woman who was over 600lbs & her journey 2 lose weight. And I realized that every weight lost show that I watch all say that there is a reason y we get fat & cant lose the weight. I was abused as a child but I was skinny back then even when I left home I was still thin. I didnt start putting on weight until after I had my 3 children.
So I m trying to find my reason 4 keeping on all this weight. the only conclusion that I've come to is that I like food I really really like food. I've dealt with many issues in my life including depression since I was 4 yrs old. But I really don't think any of that has to do with my weight . I'm probably wrong but I really think that I'm obese due 2 the fact that I like to eat. The flavors the textures. But I will continue 2 work on finding my reason.
My dr has me doing a feelings journal 'I've started new bi-polar meds. Even though the dr doesn't really think I'm so much bi-polar as having _____ depression (don't remember the word); he said I was a ____ depressive. He also told me that I will never b entirely over my depression as it is so much a part of me. But that he does feel that I m going 2 get alot better due 2 the fact that I m so honest about the things that happened 2 me & honest about my feelings of things. Right now the new meds cause me to be antsy. Tomorrow i will find out if my ins will cover me going 2 therapy; its a combination of group therapy & a psych dr 4 private sessions 2 monitor my progress & if I need other meds.
Well thats all now time to get back to my crocheting progects - thats my therapy 4 now.