Thursday, February 17, 2011
I've decided to take the next wk or more off of Spark.
I just need some time to not focus, although I do plan on still tracking my exercise everyday but I wont b posting 4 a while.
I'm in more pain the usual. My legs hurt nonstop when I'm standing or walking. My butt goes numb when I sit more then 15 mins. I go to pain management on Monday, so prayerfully that will help some.
My depression is @ the worse its been in over 5 yrs. I've been drinking more then usual. I realized this so decided to spend some time in meditation & prayer.
There is just so much going on in my life right now. Thats its got to hard 4 me 2 sit here & act like I'm fine. It still amazes me how many phone calls I still take & try to help ppl. Then I get off the phone & curl up in my bed in a ball. I havent even been watching TV or listening to the radio.
I just cant seem to get motivated. Then I get a little spark & try to climb out of this darkness. Then its just gone again. The only time that I seem to get out of bed is to take care of La & my dad, once they are taken care of I'm back in bed. I find out in a little over a wk if my hubby will b home from his contempt of court I cant believe they gave him 90 days & then he has to go back to court for wat he was in court 4 to begin with.
Last night we thought my dad was having a stroke but instead its his blood sugar. He is a diabetic but for some reason his sugar is dropping down to 21 last night & 56 tonight. And with the way he eats his sugar should b up.