MAGA99   149,565
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Y ME

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Well last night when I layed down I decided that today was going to b a good day. Well it didnt work out that way. I tossed n turned all night. So I didnt go 2 church today I could barely stand let alone walk. I really over did the last cpl of days moving around furniture while hubby was helping his brother move.

So I spent the day in bed only got up to go eat & use potty. Yet somehow my temporary crown fell cracked; the new 1 isnt to b put until the 29th.

Tomorrow I will b @ my church supervising our monthly food giveaway.

I have to call the therapist tomorrow to c if there r any openings yet to move up my appt. I have to get the referral to get x-rays of my neck for the neurologist.

I dont want to feel sorry for myself but it just seems that the more I try to move forward the more that I go backwards, I m trying to fight this depression but it is winning. I m so close to just giving up on everything. Hubby is trying 2 b understanding but he just seems to make more angry. I really need to find some1 that I can talk 2 & get all of this out. These blogs help alot; so I hope that I dont annoy y'all with them

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LITTLE_QUEEN 6/21/2010 11:21AM

    Oh Maga! We are all here for each other to support each other, hug each other, love each other, You do not annoy us with your blogs, and after all these are your blogs, you write what you want, I hope things get better for you and will keep you in my prayers.

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CSNODGRASS 6/21/2010 11:16AM

    I love reading your blogs! This too shall pass...I know it!!

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BARBARAROSE54 6/21/2010 3:46AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JAMER123 6/20/2010 11:28PM

    Thank you for sharing. We listen and try to help when possible. Sounds like you did the best you could. I have a tendency to overdo also and then need a couple days to recoup. I have this wonderful recliner I get into and I can rest there when I can't stay in bed. Hoping you are going to have a better day tomorrow.

emoticon emoticon

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TRYING 2 COPE

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I haven't blogged this wk due to being totally lost. I m trying 2 trust in God to see us all through this. I have gained more weight due to stress eating.

A very dear friend of mine is accuse of touching my 17 yr old cousins privates. This friend is even 1 of my granddaughters God fathers. I m totally confused by all this, if it wasnt 4 the fact that it is my cousins son I wouldnt b able to even come close to believing it. Since the 2 families met @ the church & its been in the paper & on TV. Our church is very split.

I m trying so hard to stay neutral but its hard.

I have started to workout again full force & to eat better. I m bac on my nebulizer but I know this to shall pass.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CSNODGRASS 6/20/2010 3:19PM

    I'll pray about this.

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BARBARAROSE54 6/20/2010 8:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ANOTHER DENTIST APPT

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Tomorrow is another dentist appt; my permanent crown came in. I m still waiting 4 my insurance to approve the extractions & the crowns for my root canal.

The 1st Communion went well, except for me I kept having to tell ppl - DON'T TOUCH ME.
The bbq was awesome; I had a few drinks & it made it easier to deal w/ being around ppl. I still haven't downloaded the pic maybe I will get to that tomorrow, after my appt. Still haven't been able to get in to c a therapist so I guess it will b an August appt 4 me.

My hubby is planning to try to go back to school so prayerfully things go well w/ his appt tomorrow he wants to b either an electrician or a welder. He was approved for extended unemployment & is trying to use 1 of their programs.

I have decided to start working on weekly plans instead of mthly w/ my present mental state it may make it easier to focus. I m making up charts to hang in my exercise room w/ way I'm to do each day. List always seem to help me. Like a TO DO LIST. I m also doing 1 for my hubby, hoping that it will help us motivate each other.

Z - I m refocused
E - only 30 mins
N - went over

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNWATERWOMAN 6/13/2010 3:29AM

    You continue to be in my prayers dear friend. I hope that the lists & organizing will help you. Good luck with the dental work and dealing with the insurance. Love, Dawn

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KELLYERIN 6/10/2010 10:18PM

    I am glad you are refocusing!! MEEE TOO!



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CSNODGRASS 6/10/2010 6:56PM

    Hope your appt went well today. At least the worst part is over! I've been going over a lot lately; gotta figure out what I'm doing.

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LOZUKE 6/10/2010 5:13AM

    Hi Lists are great. That is what I need . You sound like you got it together. You are thinking things through. I hate to go to the dentist. I have to go when I get back from Spain on the 22 nd. I will call to make the appointment. Guess What My crown has to come off to get to a little decay and then a new crown to be put on! YUCK!
I wish you always the best with everything. Just remember little steps at a time are better. We all love you here and keep us posted when you can. I understand.
Hugs, DebbieXOXO

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 6/10/2010 4:01AM

    Some days we have to take it by the hour. Sounds like you are making progress. Weekly plans sound good. If you have to do daily then that is OK. I see where there is improvement.

God be with you.

Jane on Guam

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QUICK UPDATE

Saturday, June 05, 2010

I havent blogged this week which is so unlike me. It's just been a rough week.
Tomorrow La gets her 1st Communion so I will b going 2 church the 1st time since I started the episodes & its jsut had me off all wk.
I will post pics of my new look & the 1st Communion after the BBQ.

I will start bac to blogging on Monday which is also going to b my renewal day. The day I renew my focus on my health

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINNIEATWELL2 6/6/2010 6:01PM

    emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 6/6/2010 3:51PM

    Best of luck to you!

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BARBARAROSE54 6/6/2010 9:20AM

    emoticon

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LOZUKE 6/6/2010 6:20AM

    I hope all goes well Maga I missed your blogs. I will be thinking of you today. Keep us all posted Monday Friend. emoticon emoticonDebbie

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MINDYJ1 6/6/2010 12:06AM

    emoticon

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CSNODGRASS 6/5/2010 11:20PM

    I'm glad; I've missed your blogs!

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LITTLE_QUEEN 6/5/2010 10:20PM

    Yes, please post pictures of your new look, and you can get back to this, Looking forward to Monday.

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SPARKPEOPLE IS SAVING MY LIFE

Friday, May 28, 2010

Something that I realized today: Sparkpeople is saving my life.

I'm not even talking about the health portion of things. It's YOU the people here on Spark. The understanding & compassion that I receive here. Especially as I'm going thru these episodes, noone in my rw understands it but so many ppl here do. Y'all r just awesome.

Several of u read my blog yesterday, I referred to it as venting. I thank you for the kind words. Being able to be so open here about situations n my struggles is truly helping me.

I went out for a cpl hrs today with my hubby. It was nice; but I think I will relax tomorrow & let hubby deal w/ the grands. Prayerfully I will b going 2 church this Sunday I need 2 prepare myself for nxt Sunday when our La & 3 of our Godchildren receive their 1st Communion. I figure this Sunday the church will b close to empty & if it is too much for me then nxt Sunday I will sit by myself either in the crying room or our old choir loft.

We don't do holidays so Monday will just b an extra day w/ the grands. But we will bbq & swim on Sunday. Tomorrow night we will b roasting marshmallows around our fire pit, its very primitive but I enjoy it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CSNODGRASS 5/31/2010 4:20PM

    Roasting marshmallows, primitive or not, is wonderful! I just did that last night too!!!

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FITKAT2010 5/30/2010 7:21PM

    emoticon

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/30/2010 4:00PM

    Thank you for sharing the journey with us. Your friendship means a LOT to me. Love ya, Dawn

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KELLYERIN 5/29/2010 10:01PM

    You are terrific too! Have fun roasting marshmallows!

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KMIRANDA2000 5/29/2010 7:57AM

    Family time is everything.

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BARBARAROSE54 5/29/2010 6:38AM

    emoticon

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LOZUKE 5/29/2010 4:57AM

    Maga,
I feel like that sometimes. You sound so much better than the person I first me. I am so happy for you !! I hope you can get to church. Enjoy your time with the Grandkids Love ya, Debbie

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CARDSFAN720 5/29/2010 2:04AM

    This is a truly unique community. "Unity" being the key part of that word! We are all united in our quest for a healthy lifestyle, and we are here to encourage and support each other. Hang in there!!!

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 5/29/2010 1:33AM

    You are making progress! So glad.

Remember sometimes it is one hour at a time.

Jane on Guam

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LAFEMMEDELALUNE 5/28/2010 11:04PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 5/28/2010 11:00PM

    Spark friends are the best friends. We don't judge each other by our looks, weight, color of skin or national origin. We all have issues we are dealing with and , at times, they overwhelm us and then our spark friends are there to offer a shoulder to cry on or just to listen to our complaints. And never forget the God that brought us all to this place together. Pretty remarkable, huh?
Erin

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MINDYJ1 5/28/2010 10:51PM

    I hope you have a wonderful time with your family! emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 5/28/2010 10:38PM

    Awww... Maga, You just have a good time with your family and I bet those marshmellows will be yummy, however I am still jealous of your firepit, LOL!

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