MAGA99   153,322
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MAGA99's Recent Blog Entries

QUICK UPDATE

Saturday, June 05, 2010

I havent blogged this week which is so unlike me. It's just been a rough week.
Tomorrow La gets her 1st Communion so I will b going 2 church the 1st time since I started the episodes & its jsut had me off all wk.
I will post pics of my new look & the 1st Communion after the BBQ.

I will start bac to blogging on Monday which is also going to b my renewal day. The day I renew my focus on my health

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINNIEATWELL2 6/6/2010 6:01PM

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RAINBOWFALLS 6/6/2010 3:51PM

    Best of luck to you!

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BARBARAROSE54 6/6/2010 9:20AM

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LOZUKE 6/6/2010 6:20AM

    I hope all goes well Maga I missed your blogs. I will be thinking of you today. Keep us all posted Monday Friend. emoticon emoticonDebbie

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MINDYJ1 6/6/2010 12:06AM

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CSNODGRASS 6/5/2010 11:20PM

    I'm glad; I've missed your blogs!

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LITTLE_QUEEN 6/5/2010 10:20PM

    Yes, please post pictures of your new look, and you can get back to this, Looking forward to Monday.

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SPARKPEOPLE IS SAVING MY LIFE

Friday, May 28, 2010

Something that I realized today: Sparkpeople is saving my life.

I'm not even talking about the health portion of things. It's YOU the people here on Spark. The understanding & compassion that I receive here. Especially as I'm going thru these episodes, noone in my rw understands it but so many ppl here do. Y'all r just awesome.

Several of u read my blog yesterday, I referred to it as venting. I thank you for the kind words. Being able to be so open here about situations n my struggles is truly helping me.

I went out for a cpl hrs today with my hubby. It was nice; but I think I will relax tomorrow & let hubby deal w/ the grands. Prayerfully I will b going 2 church this Sunday I need 2 prepare myself for nxt Sunday when our La & 3 of our Godchildren receive their 1st Communion. I figure this Sunday the church will b close to empty & if it is too much for me then nxt Sunday I will sit by myself either in the crying room or our old choir loft.

We don't do holidays so Monday will just b an extra day w/ the grands. But we will bbq & swim on Sunday. Tomorrow night we will b roasting marshmallows around our fire pit, its very primitive but I enjoy it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CSNODGRASS 5/31/2010 4:20PM

    Roasting marshmallows, primitive or not, is wonderful! I just did that last night too!!!

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FITKAT2010 5/30/2010 7:21PM

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/30/2010 4:00PM

    Thank you for sharing the journey with us. Your friendship means a LOT to me. Love ya, Dawn

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KELLYERIN 5/29/2010 10:01PM

    You are terrific too! Have fun roasting marshmallows!

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KMIRANDA2000 5/29/2010 7:57AM

    Family time is everything.

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BARBARAROSE54 5/29/2010 6:38AM

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LOZUKE 5/29/2010 4:57AM

    Maga,
I feel like that sometimes. You sound so much better than the person I first me. I am so happy for you !! I hope you can get to church. Enjoy your time with the Grandkids Love ya, Debbie

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CARDSFAN720 5/29/2010 2:04AM

    This is a truly unique community. "Unity" being the key part of that word! We are all united in our quest for a healthy lifestyle, and we are here to encourage and support each other. Hang in there!!!

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 5/29/2010 1:33AM

    You are making progress! So glad.

Remember sometimes it is one hour at a time.

Jane on Guam

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LAFEMMEDELALUNE 5/28/2010 11:04PM

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 5/28/2010 11:00PM

    Spark friends are the best friends. We don't judge each other by our looks, weight, color of skin or national origin. We all have issues we are dealing with and , at times, they overwhelm us and then our spark friends are there to offer a shoulder to cry on or just to listen to our complaints. And never forget the God that brought us all to this place together. Pretty remarkable, huh?
Erin

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MINDYJ1 5/28/2010 10:51PM

    I hope you have a wonderful time with your family! emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 5/28/2010 10:38PM

    Awww... Maga, You just have a good time with your family and I bet those marshmellows will be yummy, however I am still jealous of your firepit, LOL!

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THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Talk about alot to deal with. Just ignore me I need to vent and this is the only place where I can.
I decided 2 yrs ago that I had to get my health together. My dad was @ 63 yrs old could no longer take care of himself. I don't want to b like that.

I've been dealing with depression all my life. I suffer from PTS (post traumatic syndrome); has to deal with things I went thru as a child & my ex. I've suffered from panic attacks for over half my life; but they now have me where I cant go out by myself. The worse part about it is that I was only going out by myself when I went bike riding or around the corner to the store or church.
My health has been bad for yrs. I was always told to lose weight and the pain would ease up, well I've lost over 75 lbs and guess what the pain hasn't eased up.
Then there is the dental work yea its my fault I had some bad experiences as a child so I've avoided them especially after they broke to of my front teeth putting in a crown. Soo now I'm trying to take care of myself as it got so much worse over the years. I have been in the dentist office for the last 2 wks and have up coming appts for the next 3 wks.

I had to send La (my 5 yr old granddaughter who I've had since birth) to live with her mom (my daughter), due to my health I can no longer take care of her or take her to school. I love my daughter dearly and she trys so hard to b a good mom to both of her daughters. I just go thru feelings of guilt cause my daughter like I has some mental issues she was recently was diagnosed bipolar & borderline schizophrenia. My hubby & I do what we can to help her out with the kids and when ever she is stressed she does call us no matter what time of night it is. She is the youngest of my 3 kids & the most spoiled.

Z - walked to the store w/ hubby
E - 75 mins
N - within my spark calorie range

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINNIEATWELL2 5/29/2010 11:02PM

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HEART2HOME 5/29/2010 6:42PM

    I've been away and missed your entry when it was posted, but wanted you to know that I'm sending hugs your way. I cannot imagine living with constant pain. I do hope that your daughter will be able to get help with meds--I have a cousin who lives with schizophrenia but has been helped greatly with the right combination of meds.
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MARIADALE 5/29/2010 9:32AM

    i can only imagine how hard it is to send your precious grand daughter away. My two grand daughers have been with me for 3 months (since the day the second was born) and i am alreading dreading when they move out.

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ANGIEMAE2401 5/29/2010 8:57AM

    I'm so glad you vented to us, we are all cheering for you and wishing you the best!!! emoticon

This journey has many ups and downs but it's all worth it :-)

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 5/29/2010 1:30AM

    You have lost 75 pounds! That is great.

You are getting out of the house and going to church! Wonderful!

You are supporting your daughter and her special needs.

Looks like with all those kicks you are making great progress! Venting is allowed and acceptable.

Best wishes.

Jane on Guam

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GRANDMAAMIE 5/28/2010 12:09PM

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KMIRANDA2000 5/28/2010 11:43AM

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Keep venting!

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SIMPLYABUNDANT 5/28/2010 11:22AM

    emoticon emoticon I'm glad you felt like you could vent. That's what your blog's for ~ to speak whatever is on your mind and heart. You've got a lot of challenges in your life, and I want you to know you're not alone here. We might all be "just" computer-buddies, but we care, and we'll be here to hold your hand, cheer you on, and sometimes just listen. You're in my prayers.
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MINDYJ1 5/28/2010 9:51AM

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YAYAMEMA 5/28/2010 7:30AM

  Any time you need to vent we're here for you!! emoticon

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NANFACEMIRE1 5/28/2010 6:31AM

    emoticon You know you came to the right place to vent. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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LOZUKE 5/28/2010 5:14AM

    Maga,
I hope you know you can always just vent to anyone of us. You have been through so much friend. I will always keep you and your family in my prayers. You have had so much to handle and you are a beautiful person. Remember,we are all here for you, emoticon emoticonLove ya, Debbie

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LAINIESNEWLIFE 5/27/2010 10:03PM

    You are in my prayers, Maga. We're here for you. Take care.

Hugs,

Lainie

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BARBARAROSE54 5/27/2010 9:45PM

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SPARKPIXIE 5/27/2010 9:31PM

    You are in my prayers, Maga!

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TERMITEMOM 5/27/2010 9:22PM

    Maga, we will certainly not ignore you! You need support right now and this is what we are here for... I am thinking of you! emoticon

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WVROSE1 5/27/2010 9:14PM

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LITTLE_QUEEN 5/27/2010 9:07PM

    Maga, Please don't feel like you just need to vent, yes, you need to vent to get it out, but we are here for you my friend, I will keep you in prayer.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/27/2010 9:05PM

    You do have a lot on your plate. You & your family are in my prayers. Love, Dawn

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ROOT CANAL TOMORROW

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Talk about a reason 4 a panic attack, tomorrow afternoon I have to get root canals. I will b taking medical transportation cause last wk when I went to the dentist it was just too much for me its 2 buses each way.

I went out to lunch w/ my cousin today she lives in Virginia n I'm in Jersey so we don't c each other except on Facebook. She was up visiting her mom 4 the wk. I did pretty good I kept looking around the restaurant (Applebee's), but other then that I was fine.

Hubby put in the new pool liner but tomorrow we have to take one side down and redo it. The pool isn't that big it just 10x16 or something close to that. But it is a pool.

Summer workout goal will be to workout in the early morning with the stationary bike & treadclimber & then use the pool during the day. Plus I will continue to do strength training 6 days a wk alternating between arms n core. Hubby is even going to workout w/ me so that will make it more focused 4 me. I'm even planning to do some evening walking on cooler evenings.

Z - went out to lunch today
E - still have to finish up 4 today
N - over I was junk fooding it this evening (TOM)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_ROODIE_ 5/26/2010 12:38PM

  My dentist used the giving birth analogy too when I told her I didn't want to have a root canal ~ it's like giving birth, everybody's experience is different and don't listen to the horror stories. Having a root canal today is different than when they did them 20 yrs ago, 10 yrs ago, even 2 yrs ago!

I had one done about 2 yrs ago and I am the biggest baby when it comes to the dentist, plus I have panic/anxiety disorder. But, she convinced me it to relax and focus on other things and I didn't even have to take my anxiety meds.

I'm glad you're not taking the bus home, too. Even coming thru with flying colors you're not gonna be a mood to deal with a bus, yikes!

Keeping positive thoughts coming your way!!



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LOZUKE 5/26/2010 11:31AM

    I just seen on the friend feed you are getting a root canal. They are not too bad anymore. I am so glad you have transportation, I would not want to see you coming home on 2 buses. I do wish there were someone with you. Carol is right try to think of something else, I did that. You have your exercise routine down for the summer! You go Girl emoticon emoticonI wish I did, they are supposed to have an aqua class in the pool at the clubhouse. I will be praying for you tomorrow and thinking of you. God Bless, emoticon emoticonDebbie

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CAROLEHZ 5/26/2010 8:39AM

    Root Canals aren't as bad as they sound. I view them like childbirth...focus on something else and eventually they finish up and it's over ( if you can wear headphones and listen to music even better so you don't hear the sounds)...You've said it was part of your plan and now your getting it done..Woo Hoo! Way to take action.

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CSNODGRASS 5/25/2010 9:40PM

    I'll be praying for you that your root canals go smoothly. I can tell you that I am THE WORLD'S biggest baby, and the root canal wasn't quite as bad as I thought. Sure, I would rather be doing a lot of things than having a root canal, but then I'd rather have another root canal than have to do some other things. LOL

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/25/2010 9:13PM

    Sorry to read that you are having to have a root canal. YUCK! Glad that you have some transportation. I'll keep you in my prayers my friend. Love, Dawn

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NEUROLOGIST

Monday, May 24, 2010

Well I went to the neurologist today. Now I have to go get the pin test done n she also wants something checked with my neck. I go back to c her in 2 mths. So now to schedule the test. I also have to schedule my dental appts & call insurance for the therapy. I just dont seem to get around to doing things.

I still spend half the day in bed.

Z - actually went to my appt
E - 45 mins (cramps to bad to do anything)
N - within range

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/25/2010 8:40PM

    I'm keeping you in my prayers my friend. Sorry that you're having to go through so much. Bright blessings to you. Love, Dawn

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W8WHITTILER 5/25/2010 6:39PM

    Marcia..my prayers are with you each day!
I am glad to hear that you are slowing going out, even if it is to go to the doctor..
Little steps at a time, and you will be your old self again before you know it.
I know the Lord is working on you, He never leaves us when we need Him the most, hang in there kiddo..
And take a few winks for me, I am exhausted. (Just a small joke)
Don't worry about staying in bed, you are on the mend, take your time, you are going to get there..Promise!
Hugs and Love
Patty

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THENAMESLISA 5/24/2010 10:01PM

    Glad you got out! Baby steps!!

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LITTLE_QUEEN 5/24/2010 9:13PM

    I hope they can find out what is going on and get you taken care of so you can feel better, you need to feel better so you can go out and enjoy your firepit.

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