MAGA99   153,322
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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

I m watching the new series The Good Wife & it kind of hits home for me.

As I m standing by my hubbies side dealing with some legal problems even though we were temporarily separated I m here for him. I also think about how many times I m there for everyone else. Yet as I m going thru so many struggles now they have all disappeared.
Its funny I m one of the first people they they all call when they need someone but now they all have amnesia. Just like on the show.

I m a Christian n I do believe in the Bible yet it gets really hard when other Christians don't act it (alot of ppl in our church r very involved with he said she said & usually w/o all the facts - I had left the church for 3 yrs because of stuff like this before). But I will continue to pray for them all & try my best to b A Good Wife, Mother, Daughter& Friend

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEZUZCHILE 10/7/2009 1:24PM

    It's hard I know sometimes. Struggles r a fact of life. emoticon right now I'm mouring my BEST FRIEND"S death. It can always b worse. emoticon emoticon I know ppl care, but right now I have amesia 2. emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/7/2009 1:26:47 PM

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W8WHITTILER 10/7/2009 7:29AM

    Oh wow Marcia, that is exactly my posting, or at least it should be!
It does seem that when people are there to help others, they all disappear when you are the one needing help!
I found that out for sure over the last couple of weeks.
You know you can count on me my friend, if you ever need anything, or just want to talk privately you know where to find me.
Hang in there kiddo, you are going to get through this, and whatever it is that you need help with, let us help.
Hugs and Love

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DEBBIER9 10/7/2009 12:00AM

    you are a good person and I do believe you are the one in charge what does being a christian have to do with anything with what is happening? I think we are the ones who are doing . To many people blame god for what we are doing.that is the easy way out.

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PKSBELIEVEINME 10/6/2009 11:00PM

    I have been there too! Just put it in God's hands and it will all work out! We sometimes forget that a lot of people don't think the same way about things we do, and we ended up being taken advantage of. It is not worth dwelling on, believe me. Take care!

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LITTLE_QUEEN 10/6/2009 10:24PM

    You are a good wife, mother, and especially friend maga!

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Sunday 10-4-09

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Today has been so busy I m wiped n my feet n ankles r feeling it.
Been up since 5. Got up did 3 loads of laundry ( 1 was my daughters who doesn't even live here). Watch Ed Young TV then went to help w/ Sunday School then Church my La (remember she is only 4) sang with the childrens choir today (wish I would have had my camera). Walked half a mile to the grocery store and went food shopping. Came home fed dad lunch then headed to Walmart (which involves 2 buses. Walked around Walmart then Conway then Toys R US (for her wish list)then back to Walmart. Then 2 buses back home. Ordered out dinner the 1st time in over mth n I only ate half of it. I did 13861 steps n this is usually my low day.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 10/4/2009 10:48PM

    You have done alot today, sounds like you need to just take it easy and rest up now.

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Saturday, October 03, 2009

I have decided to challenge myself to meet 3 goals each mth. So as tomorrow is Sunday I plan to start these 3 challenges for myself.

For October I plan to:
1. eat 3 fruit/veggies a day
2. get between 80,000 & 90,000 steps a week
3. to up my strengthening to half an hr 3 x a wk


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KWNAUGHTON 10/3/2009 11:08PM

    Great way to keep what's important in the front of your mind. Once you put your mind to it- you can do it!

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Well I've decided that after the challenge teams that I m presently on finish, I will not participate on any more teams that have weekly weigh ins
. I've come to realize that weighing weekly really stresses me out. If I weigh in monthly like @ curves I loss but when I do weekly the up & down really depresses me ( & I'm depressed enough I don't need anything adding to it).
So when looking for new challenges I will make sure I check to c how often they expect a weigh in.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEZUZCHILE 10/4/2009 10:47PM

    Yeah, I'm a believer!!!!!!!! I don't weigh myself but once a month! U r sooo right, it will just send u up and down. U're weight fluctuates rapidly all the time, and I don't use it anymore, just once a month 4 me. I'm much happier that way. Cause when I DO get on the scale I''m Extremely Happy 2 see I've lost probably some weight. Thank u. emoticon

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123_SUNBUG 10/1/2009 1:59PM

    Sorry you feel stressed. Remember it's only a are doing great! It' s how you feel that counts. Remember you are #1 and have to do what's best for you. Thank you for continuing on with the team!

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SPARKPIXIE 10/1/2009 7:55AM

    Maga, you don't have to weigh in once a week on Sparktoberfest if you don't want to, just post on the weigh in thread that you're present and accounted for but not weighing in until whatever date you choose.

I understand about weighing in once a month. You have to do whats right for you! So skip this Monday's weigh in on the challenge, just let us know you're still in it!

We have a November challenge planned that doesn't focus at all on weigh ins, its more about drinking your water and getting exercise. So if you're up for another challenge when this one ends, I hope you'll sign up for it!

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MARTHAR3 10/1/2009 12:02AM

    I under stand that I do not like weekly weigh in's I am up and down on them. Like you if I weigh once a month I usually loose.

You have to do what works for you!!

Hugs Martha n TX

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RENA1965 9/30/2009 11:25PM

    Good for you, all people loss weight at different speeds. Many teams are terrible to make sure people are okay if they get jaded by using a challenge..

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FABULOUSAND40 9/30/2009 11:06PM

  emoticon That is great hat you have figured out what works best for you. I usually weigh every day so the up and down doesn't drive me as crazy as it would if I was only weighing weekly. I look more at how much weight I have lost over a month.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 9/30/2009 10:51PM

    Maga, I hate weighing in, the last challenge I did nothing, and the first weigh in on this challenge I gained and I gained badly, Please don't stress over it, it is not supposed to make you feel anxious or stressed, please reconsider, we love ya and would miss ya!

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BLAZINGPHOENIX 9/30/2009 10:40PM

    Good for you! You've figured out what works best for you & sometimes that makes all the difference. I'm just the opposite - if I don't step on the scale at least every other day I tend to "forget" to watch my intake & end up gaining. Keep up the good work!

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Why am I such a mess? How can I b so supportive to other ppl, yet can't help myself.
I know that I have to do the work n I m. I just seem not to b making much progress.
Motivation GONE, I've been really trying to stay motivated I just cant. I c myself as a blob so y bother. I go back forth continually.
Sunday I went to church n felt great I received compliments on how I looked, but then I came home n sat on the bed to get changed ( I cant stand while I'm getting dressed). WOW do I disgust myself.
I've come along way I have evidence I guess the problem is that I feel like that 300+ person.
It just seems to b getting harder and harder to do this. The eating is not my problem & I do exercise, I walk over 3 miles a day; 5 days a week. I do strengthening 3x a wk. I even stated doing the yoga again every morning - it helps to lessen the pain.
Maybe its just that nasty friend of mine - DEPRESSION. And unless you've suffered from it you do not understand what it is like. When a person suffers from depression you cant always just snap out of it. You suffer You hurt You cry You go thru things. Everything is harder to deal with
I've always been an emotional person but it is so much worst since I've started trying to loss weight, it;s y I gave up last time.(I had went from 300+ to 220). I watch the show Biggest Loser n I totally get y they r so emotional cause they r doing what I m doing but in fast forward.
Well I guess thats enough of today Pity Party. Mayb I just need to take a break from it all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THENAMESLISA 9/30/2009 8:09AM

    You are definitely depressed...I could see it before you even said the words. From what little I know about you, you have a lot of stuff on your plate, so it's no wonder you're depressed. Is there any way you can see a counselor? I've been going steady for a year now and thankfully I found someone that I really like. I've been to a lot, but never really clicked with any of them.

Don't give up! Ease up if you have to, but don't give up.

I wonder if your situation is a lot like mine...I'm closely surrounded by people with problems. Their problems are most of my problems, but I can't change them. I can only change myself and/or how I respond to them.

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THENAMESLISA 9/30/2009 8:04AM

    You are definitely depressed...I could see it before you even said the words. From what little I know about you, you have a lot of stuff on your plate, so it's no wonder you're depressed. Is there any way you can see a counselor? I've been going steady for a year now and thankfully I found someone that I really like. I've been to a lot, but never really clicked with any of them.

Don't give up! Ease up if you have to, but don't give up.

I wonder if your situation is a lot like mine...I'm closely surrounded by people with problems. Their problems are most of my problems, but I can't change them. I can only change myself and/or how I respond to them.

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RENA1965 9/29/2009 11:19PM

    Don't give up, I think you look great now since that photo labelled 05. Depression is a hard thing to get over, I had a heavy clinical one and almost took my own life. If honest I have had depression all my life...
I found out we have to attack this depression, I found a psychotherapist and find out how to attack the depression from within.
Find ways within yourself to tackle it and keep it down where it should be. I have ADHD and depressive tendencies, I now know my demons and use my strong points to fade out the bad. I now have more days where I just feel at odds with myself but I have not been back down in the black since before therapy back in 2004. I lost a husband to diabetes, lost the roof over our heads and had to put a mentally ill son in a foster home, plus recently had my oldest son diagnosed with ADHD/Asperges, so I have enough to be depressed about. I now look at situations with a clear head, I used to beat myself up alot for stuff that was not in my hands to change. We are good at beating ourselfs up, sometimes a therapist reality check shows we are being unfair to ourselfs.. I now smile and can say looking others in the eyes, I did everything I could to avoid stuff I could but adversity sometimes is stronger..
I decided I don't want to be a victim. It wasn't me whom went home from my husband the day he died. A very unpleasant nurse kicked me out, I did get my own back I gave her the ice cool steer from hell when I returned with our church minister. I sleep good at night she went home feeling like crap..
Also write about the core of your depression. I found talking to a therapist a gentle way to be let known I had ADHD. When I read up about it, most people have trouble explaining to their family doctor how they feel.. I am a normal person with sensory defects... What got me down was not being able to pin point them to a doctor to get the right medications. For me it was understanding me, to let myself breath, and have a few tools in my hand when strong people down played me..
Finding out why I was a mess was a relief.. I hope you find something I wrote and can use it.. Sometimes a situation is worse in our head and can be solved with a little input from other people whom can give us a pointers in the right direction..
I have used these tools to overcome figure distortion, I didn't look great efter lossing 176lbs. I needed stomach surgery to remove excess skin. To find myself efter the loss of my husband and placement of my son.. I am now no longer the same weak minded person, I dare to fight adversity.. I was way out when down but we can rebuilt so don't give up..

Comment edited on: 9/29/2009 11:29:49 PM

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JEZUZCHILE 9/29/2009 11:09PM

    Honey, do u always feel this way? R u depressed? Sit down in a quiet place and start 2 think of all the wonderul things God has done in yer life and is doing now. I'm sure u can come up with somethang. We all feel that way sometimes, I do! But then I go 2 my quiet place where it's just God and I and we talk and listen. I thank Him 4 what I have and 4 what I DON'T have. And He smiles, He understands. emoticon

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