Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Why am I such a mess? How can I b so supportive to other ppl, yet can't help myself.
I know that I have to do the work n I m. I just seem not to b making much progress.
Motivation GONE, I've been really trying to stay motivated I just cant. I c myself as a blob so y bother. I go back forth continually.
Sunday I went to church n felt great I received compliments on how I looked, but then I came home n sat on the bed to get changed ( I cant stand while I'm getting dressed). WOW do I disgust myself.
I've come along way I have evidence I guess the problem is that I feel like that 300+ person.
It just seems to b getting harder and harder to do this. The eating is not my problem & I do exercise, I walk over 3 miles a day; 5 days a week. I do strengthening 3x a wk. I even stated doing the yoga again every morning - it helps to lessen the pain.
Maybe its just that nasty friend of mine - DEPRESSION. And unless you've suffered from it you do not understand what it is like. When a person suffers from depression you cant always just snap out of it. You suffer You hurt You cry You go thru things. Everything is harder to deal with
I've always been an emotional person but it is so much worst since I've started trying to loss weight, it;s y I gave up last time.(I had went from 300+ to 220). I watch the show Biggest Loser n I totally get y they r so emotional cause they r doing what I m doing but in fast forward.
Well I guess thats enough of today Pity Party. Mayb I just need to take a break from it all.