MAGA99   153,322
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Family Weekend

Monday, September 07, 2009

This truly was a blessful weekend. All 3 of my children were here & my 3 granddaughters. Everyone got along & noone had an attitude. Who knows if this will ever happen again, but it was truly wonderful.

My babygirl will b 21 tomorrow. WOW & to think that I m now raising a 4 yr old. WHO KNEW.

I didn't do all that good this weekend with exercise but hey today I did 3 days worth of challenge exercises. I feel it to.

Heading to bed my sinuses r killing me, its the seasonal change thing usually it doesn't happen until October maybe this means I wont b sick for my anniversary.
Hubby & I r working on things and our prayers are to have things worked out by our anniversary (Halloween = 10 yrs). It's amazing how 2 people who love each other so much can have so many problems; but we have realized one thing most of our problems come from others.
Well good nite all and let's all get our Steps on in September

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LITTLE_QUEEN 9/7/2009 9:41PM

    Get some rest maga, Glad you all had a good time

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Overly Sensitive

Saturday, September 05, 2009

I do suffer from chronic depression & my family for yrs have been telling me that I m bi-polar(especially my kids). But I've noticed that my sensitivity has been getting worst during the times that I m focused on my weigh loss; which for me means when I m staying within my calories n exercising regularly.
I do avoid ppl fro the most part. The only person out side of my house that I c regularly is a neighbor(who I actually used to babysit) & this due to my LaLa n her twins playing together all the time.
For the last yr every time that I was successfully losing weight I was like this overly sensitive to everything. I even left a few teams here on sparks because of this. I over react to situations so would b well screw them then. I just dont get it. You would think that I would b more leveled off as I'm getting myself healthier.
HAS ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCED THIS????I need help figuring out a way to deal with this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I definitely suffer from this more so when I'm dieting, but it has nothing to do with depression or emotions. For me it is all blood sugar. Try eating solid protein with every meal and snack. Meats, cheeses, cottage cheese, peanut butter. I know protein adds calories, but try the experiment and then journal what you ate, when you ate it (time between meals/snacks) and your emotions and physical energy levels. Do this for over a week. Beta endorphins tend to be on a three to five day cycle, so it takes a while to even them out.

I did this and it was an eye-opener. I learned that my emotions were controlled by what I ate and how long between eating. If I didn't have enough protein or if I went over 4 hours between meals/snacks, I was either flying off the handle over nothing or I was in tears. I always felt the victim and that people didn't like me. Having sugar in my life at all makes me feel that way. I would think that if you had depression and other illnesses to deal with as well, this would only be worse.

The cool thing is that I learned that it was my biochemistry, a physical thing that could be controlled, not that I was emotionally off, somehow. That was huge for me.

You might check out and see if it resounds with you. I'm not involved there any longer, but it taught me how to live life and be happy.

Good luck and keep using your support here.


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DIANEDOESIT 9/6/2009 8:47PM

    Oh hun!!!! Sounds like you're going thru a really tough time right now. People that have never been through it...just don't get it! I went thru a very bad depression many years ago. People would say things like, "chin up...can't be all that bad". Or, "just find an activity....get your mind off things and you'll be fine". It doesn't work like that. Even without the depression, I am a naturally over-sensitive person. I get used to get so frustrated because I would cry at the drop of a hat, pout if someone said the wrong thing....or the right thing, etc,etc...and I still do. The difference now....I'm unique. People love me for who I am...good and bad!!! I want to be healthier for ME. I want to look better for ME. But, what "they" think matters too damn much. Hang in there!! I'm around if you need to talk it out. emoticon

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FREEOAK1 9/6/2009 8:23AM

    I suffer from a neuromuscular disease which produces, not only excruciating, bone crushing spasms, but total paralysis lasting from minutes to hours. It is motion and positionally aggravated. It is undiagnosed, but the DR's say it is related to the MS family.

With it comes depression. I suffer from severe clinical depression. Too, the meds I am on can produce a false depression.

When I am depressed I find it much harder to stay on track. I have to literally discipline myself on a conscious level not to give in to eating. I am not always successful.

I, too, am extremly over-sensitive to other people's actions whether it is done to me or to other innocent people.

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RENA1965 9/6/2009 1:21AM

    I have ADHD and suffer depression, my sons and my mother all did too.. I am very sensitive if people don't show consideration to my situation.. I just switch off into my autism world and get stubborn.
Instead of getting oversensitive for the sake of it. I now bang a before photo down in front of people whom pressure me to overeat. Many are shocked and appologize, sometimes showing them how their inconsideration hurts my feelings works better than saying it with words..
I did conversation therapy as feel out classed in many conversations with people with strong egos.. I now don't loss all the battles, but if I write up my angruements or show them with photos, people respect me and appologize for hurting me..
They see a trim women sitting at the table with them, I don't always give them conversation feed back like other co-workers but they know when they work with me and know I can do my job even with other difficult clients..
My boss now uses me as a weapon against other clients with ocd.. I know how many of these people think, so they are shocked I take attention to their unreasonable thoughts and show total respect to rutuals.
I concentrate on my positive sides like my sons medications doctor adviced me to do for him, and this info works well for me too. Getting alot more positive out my day, pushes the depressive thoughts back into prospective...
My mother had ADHD, I inherited it from her and she was not well enough to ask for help, I got no help, medication or special treatment in school. I have had this sensory disorder from birth, but I got help to my sons. Their diagnose is worse than me, but they function better because they got help in good time.. Even if we live with chronic depression MAGA68 we are good people. Please remember this, you are okay. Normal people scare me, because they are over confident and usually don't give jack about us less powerful thinking people. They think they are always right, well I proved this point at work to my boss, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I have a client with a viciously agressive ALS smiling and writing thankyou on her speaking computer. She has found someone whom understands her fear of germs and what ocd does to a person.. She was getting out of hand, because people didn't respect her and how her illness makes her frustrated.. Our unreasonable thoughts are very real to us Maga68 lack of respect can make any person withdrawal society.. I did alot at 306lbs..

Comment edited on: 9/6/2009 1:27:17 AM

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BIBLIOMANE40 9/6/2009 12:42AM

    I suffer with chronic depression as well. I understand exactly what you're saying. Just stick with us - all your Spark friends are here for you! Continue to take care of yourself!



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MINDYJ1 9/6/2009 12:25AM

    I know what you are talking about. I've been doing really good the last two weeks on my calorie intake. I've been either crying or just plain grumpy. It doesn't help when nobody else is trying to eat right. My husband doesn't understand that I can't just eat anything and everything anymore. It's like what Lori said, that's the great thing about Spark, we know what you are going through. All of us have other things that we are going through also on top of trying to change our whole lifestyle of eating. It can be just plain hard sometimes. Don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve to take care of yourself. I don't have anyone really to talk to either that really understands. But I have my SparkFriends and all of them do! That's why we all have to stick together and help each other out! emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/6/2009 12:27:00 AM

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LITTLE_QUEEN 9/5/2009 10:54PM

    I sometimes feel that I am the only one that cares how I end up, knowing that I need to lose the weight for my health, and I do feel down sometimes and depressed but mostly for other issues.

I think maga, that you especially need your spark friends during these times, we all have been through the same thing, same issues, same challenges, we are here to support each other through the good and the not so good.

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They Hurt

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

My thighs are really starting to feel the burn.

I started noticing it the other day while I was doing wall squats with ball.

Then today while I was bike ride OMG I coking believe it. DAMN

Since this happened before & I actually seen a dr about it. I ain't panicking cause its just the fat leaving & the muscles feeling the burn.

Now I just wish the belly fat would start leaving.
emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAMMIEMALAWI 9/3/2009 5:42AM

    Good job....I've been away for a while...I've gained back most of what I had lost....but this morning rode the stationary bike for 530 calories....I'm hoping to feel the burn and see the fat drop off....

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TWARGO3 9/3/2009 12:15AM

    Bye bye fat!!!!!! How exciting!!! My legs are trimming up too. I heard on my videos from "The Firm" that the principle applies to weightloss is the same for business - "First hired, last fired". So basically wherever you gained first will be the last place to lose. "THEY" say that it goes in order too... so you are on your way :o)

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLUE97HARBOR 9/2/2009 10:06PM

    I know what you mean.....

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New Game Plan

Monday, August 31, 2009

Well if u read any of my other blogs u know its been a rough summer for me. But God is getting me through it all.
So not much real exercise this summer BUT I did not gain any weight; so that was a good thing. But I did reAlize that I need a plan a way to refocus and stay focus.

So here is the new game plan:
1. 2wks ago I started my strength training again (sparks style) 3x a wk.
2. Last wk I started walking; my plan is @ least 3x a wk but trying for a few more.
3. This wk one of my challenge teams started doing videos & adding cardio.
4. Next wk I will start back to curves 3x a wk.

My plan is to do these 4 items for the next 2 mths.

I also plan to stay within my calorie range & to give up my cheat day

As I've been reflecting I've impressed myself; last year @ this time I was 276 lbs (not even my heaviest) & I m now 233 lbs. This is with me not being truly dedicated @ times. So can u imagine where I will be this time next year if I stop fooling around.
I do still occasionally need to use the nebulizer; but not everyday. I haven't been using the pain pills as much either.
Thank all of my Spark Friends that have been here with me thru this journey so far especially the last 2 mths with the depression.
I also want to thank my new spark friends for helping me realize how far I've come.
emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIEP1961 9/1/2009 9:47AM

    Good to hear the positive thoughts - I know it can't be easy as you have been through a rough time recently. Just stay positive and focused - your success over the last year shows that you can do it!

Keep up the good work, Jackie (your Challenge Me team colleague and friend).


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LITTLE_QUEEN 8/31/2009 11:42PM

    Yes, Just think where you will be next Summer, That is quite a bit of weight you have lost, and you have a great plan in place.

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YAFENELRA 8/31/2009 11:35PM

    Your new game plan sounds like a winner!! You are doing all the right things.

Arlene emoticon

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TWARGO3 8/31/2009 11:27PM

    awww you are too cute!!! That is amazing and encouraging to me to see that you have dropped the weight, kept it off for a year... and without 'hardly trying'. That is lifestyle babydoll!!!! WOW... can you imagine where you will be after this 10-week challenge? Where you will be in another year????

Praying for you and your goals!!!! You can do this!!!!

Proud to be your Mahogany team mate!!!

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Monday, August 31, 2009

Ran into a friend who I haven't seen in a while and they noticed a difference with my legs. Made me a little uncomfortable at 1st but hey if others r noticing then something is happening.
Also a few ppl in the neighborhood noticed my face thinning out.

This will help me to renew myself cause it is happening I m making changes but they aren't just on the outside; I m making changes on the inside too. Prayerfully I will b able to start back @ curves on Friday.

This separation with my hubby (its only been a wk) got me into a little funk this weekend but I've got to get over it. Prayerfully this 2 mths apart will help us both to figure out wat is best for us;even if it ain't us getting back together & working things out. And this will sound really selfish but with him not here I can really find the time to dedicate time to my healthier life style.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSCAROL 8/31/2009 10:21PM

    It's wonderful that people are noticing your hardwork. Keep up the good work. I too am sorry to hear about your separation It sounds like you have a positive attitude and are dealing with out giving up on yourself. During this time I will add you into my prayers and hope God shows you what he has in store for you.



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TWARGO3 8/31/2009 5:55PM

    Congrats on ppl noticing Maga!!! That is such an encouragement when ppl begin to notice the work and effort that you have been consistently putting forth... ACTUALLY begin to change the shape of your body!!! Legs and face are first for me to lose too... then onto the glorious hips, boobs and belly.... SOOOOO exciting that you are past the first 2 stages for your body... How exciting... what will be next to show?!?!?! WOO HOO YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

So sorry to hear about the separation and I will be sure to keep you both in our prayers! 2 months is a great time to focus on yourself and who you are... and who you are becoming ;o)

((hugs)) to you!!!!
emoticon emoticon

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SAMANTHAAPRIL 8/31/2009 8:01AM

    people are making comments to me also which feels great! As far as your separation, give time time. Maybe being apart may make you focus more on yourself. Im going thru a similar situation, and each day it gets better. i am doing me and i havent in a long time. stay committed to yourself.

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W8WHITTILER 8/31/2009 7:22AM

    Hey there my friend!
It is exciting when others notice, it boosts our motivation! Keep it up are going to do this!
I am sorry to hear about the separation, but it could be an answer to prayers, I know you have been praying that you could just change some habits..well with your husband gone for 2 months, that is just about the time it takes to develop something into a habit..we have to look at God in everything...He answers our prayers, sometimes we just don't see them at the time..
You are both going to come out of this separation stronger, and more than likely more in love with each other...God does work in the most mysterious ways!
My prayers are with you as well..
Hang tough girl, you are going to come out okay, I know how strong you are!
Hugs and Love

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JUSTMYSELF09 8/31/2009 1:23AM

    Hey, that awesome other people are noticing. Sorry to hear about the seperation between you and your husband. A book that really helped me and my husband out when we were going through a tough time was The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura

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DAIZYSTARLITE 8/31/2009 12:45AM

    It's always nice when people notice...

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LITTLE_QUEEN 8/31/2009 12:02AM

Maga, It is great people are noticing, That should help you to be committed to your goals, You are stressed right now and have lots on your plate so to speak, I know that you can do this my friend, Stay strong!

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