MAGA99   153,322
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Can't Quit

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Well it's been a rough couple of days. The pain is getting bad again & I m back on the breathing machine everyday. It's hard to stay focused on weight loss right now.

But I have to do this for me, I have to get healthier. So since the pain is worst in the morning, I do very little during those time periods. The pain usually eases up by about 2 or 3 and is bearable till I lay down. I really miss doing my morning mile, it's too hard rite now, so instead I take 3 10 minute walks around the house through out the day. Prayerfully this will ease up soon, last time it took a couple of mths to get better. But I refuse to just lay down and take this. I m gonna just remember everything that I learned in therapy (no insurance to go back). the pain is constant just worst at certain times n the pills don't really help much (that's y I still have some left). So tomorrow is another day n I will continue to struggle & fight until I win this battle.

I can't quit - I can't let the depression win. Sometimes it just seems like I'm always fighting. Fighting depression. Fighting weight. Fighting food. Fighting myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEEDPEOPLE 12/7/2008 7:41PM

    This will pass, I promise. Just push past the pain. You are to valuable to give up on. The best thing you can do is move around. You CAN do it and YOU are worth the work to get past this. Hang in there!

emoticon emoticon

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LADYPHOENIX61 12/4/2008 2:39PM

    Maga, keep pushing, persevere, fight past the pain! You've come so far already! Stay positive for yourself and your family. You've got the attitude, keep it positive!

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TONYA_JO 12/4/2008 1:01PM

    Hang in there emoticon

It sounds like you have a good plan in place to keep getting some movement in each day. Take it one day at a time.

You can do it.

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JUSEEGIRL 12/4/2008 12:01PM

    Hang in there. Everyone goes through rough patches. But they do pass and if you get past it without quitting, the rough periods won't be so bad in the future. It will get better for you.

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Day 23

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Today is day 23 on Sparks.

I've gotten lots of advice and shared some things that worked for me. I've actually lost weight & can c a slight difference. I walk everyday regardless of how I'm feeling. I'm still working on eating healthier, I do eat 5 fruit/veggies, everyday.

As a person who suffers from depression it's really hard sometimes to deal with the emotional roller coaster of weight lost. As much support as I get on this site & from my hubby - some times it's just enough. Especially when it comes to the actual workout routines. Hubby is usually sleeping when I'm working out, he works alot of overnights. I'm thinking about joining a gym if I can find an inexpensive one close by.

Someday r just so much harder then others. I spent most of today in bed, but I did get up n take 3 - 10 minute walks. Between the asthma, the cramps, the syatica , & then add the depression, I just don't want to do anything. Don't want to be bothered with anyone. I just want to curl up in a ball n disappear.

Tomorrow is another day. I m praying 4 strength n trusting in the Lord, that he will c me thru this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINDSURFER 12/1/2008 6:43PM

    So. You're another one who can find a day passes while you spend time in bed, hmm? It happens to me too. It's lower back pain - fibromyalgia - and anxiety/stress problems that sometimes feel so overwhelming that it's hard to move.



You CAN do this - You ARE doing it! HOO-Rah!


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FATSOLUTIONS 12/1/2008 12:42AM

  I hear your pain and have some of the same issues as you reveal. It's OK to take some time out when its a holiday weekend. For me, I found that aqua aerobics has worked wonders for my syatica and also my depression. I signed up at 24hr fitness for monthly fee and go three times a week with other women my age and it has helped a lot.
I hope tomorrow will be a new and better day for you. Let me know if I can help.


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LADYCASA48 11/30/2008 9:52PM

    Hang in there MAGA68,
I can relate to your difficulties. I'm on disability for major depression and some other issues including severe sleep apnea. I'm also a recovering addict and binge eating is a huge issue for me. All we can do is take it one day at a time, do the best we can, and then let it go. You did the best you could today and getting your 3 walks in was a huge accomplishment for you. Just try to remember that when these bad days come, tomorrow is almost always better. And if not, ride it out and do the best you can like you did today. The most important thing of all is that you don't EVER beat yourself up. Instead, understand that you did the best you knew how to cope with a difficult day. And be curious about what might have been going on inside to cause you to feel down. You've come too far to throw in the towel now.

I'm not happy with my progress today either. Unlike you, I didn't get my cardio in, I didn't eat as well as I would have liked, and I didn't log all my food like I set out to do. But dang it! I did a lot of things right and I didn't binge like I did yesterday. So let's both forgive ourselves and let this day go so we can apply our focus and energy on doing the best we can tomorrow. Okay?


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How do your friends and/or family members help motivate you to lose weight?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

How do your friends and/or family members help motivate you to lose weight?

Unfortunately, not to many are helping to motivate. My hubby though is great. He will suggest that we go for bike rides and walks. He is also in the process of turning our extra bedroom into a workout room. He bought an mp3 player cause he heard that it helps to motivate people when they work out to music. and now is going through the paper to find me some inexpensive workout equipment.

The funny part is that he didn't even want me to lose weight. Yet now he is right there for my (always telling me how proud he is. He noticed that I was losing it, scale broke so we got the digital n he was right I've got off to a great start.

The water where I live is horrible even through a filtration system it still taste funny, so he worked out a deal with the bodega around the corner from us to get cases of water at their same cost.

Although he does not have a weight problem. He the type that can eat an elephant do a few sit ups n its gone. He will try all the healthier(diet) recipes I experiment with. He will even suggest ways to improve it.

So my home motivation and support is basically my hubby. He's always got my back no matter what I try to do . God Blessed me with a good man

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSEEGIRL 11/27/2008 6:20PM

    After your left a comment on my blog, I read through your posts and looked at your entries.

You are definitely on the right track. It's great that your DH is showing support now. My partner and I are doing this together (he has already lost over 50 lbs - much of it with my support) Whether you are losing with someone or just having support, I think it is crucial.

I've not had weight issues most of my life. The pounds I am struggling with myself came on in basically less than a year. I was dealing with some health issues and steroids combined with the inability to eat much without being sick resulted in me getting some really bad eating habits.

I can tell you that the 3 keys to not just losing but keeping it off and being in great shape come down to 1. eating clean versus simple calorie restriction 2. movement and 3. getting enough of quality sleep. Eating clean can be the most difficult - especially if you are trying to change years of poor habits or don't really know what it means. But after a while, your body WILL adapt and junk just won't be appealing. Not only that but you'll find that you no longer feel good if you do have it.

To get some additional ideas on the food side, you might want to look at other people's food journals here at Spark.

Keep up the good work!

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This Isn't a Diet, It's My Life

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This is not a diet, this is how I have to spend the rest of my life. What I m realizing is that as great as it is to cook and eat diet type foods, I have to be realistic. Yes, I will eat healthier but I will on occasion eat those BAD foods. I have to be real, I know that I can't after 40 yrs just give up my favorite foods. Nor do I really want to, I know that when I deny myself something I really want over and over - then when I do eat it I will go over board. So to avoid going overboard I m going to occasionally eat those fatty, fully loaded foods. I will always try to cook healthier.

As Thanksgiving is approaching I've been really thinking about the menu. I am the cook. My son n daughter in law, my dad, hubby n I will have the meal together. Everyone has put in their request - I will make it all. I will also be making part of it healthier. Everyone has agreed to the compromise, n they wont know ahead of time which is which. I know that I will be over my calories on Thanksgiving and what that means is that I m going to have to exercise extra on both Thursday n Friday.

Some foods my favorites just cant b healthy - I except this - I except that they will b 4 special occasions only. If I fry it will be in either canola or extra virgin olive oil. Who knows maybe some day I wont want a nice skin on fried chicken thigh but right now that's heard to imagine, or a fried panzorotti or calzone. I LOVED FRIED FOODS. Every special occasion I go to someone asks me to bring the fried chicken(they even go buy the chicken n oil). I will have to exercise the rest of my life I do except that. I have to except that I m making lifetime changes. Who knows maybe in the end I will give up all those BAD foods.

My health is what I make of it ! ! ! ! ! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AKGINGER 11/26/2008 5:28PM

    It gets easier over time. Your tastes change and the "bad" foods you now crave wont taste the same to you. I use to love fried food. I like you love a good chicken thigh! I still eat the chicken thigh, I just de-bone it and skin it. I really don't miss the skin!
Keep plugging away, you'll make it! You sound determined! Good luck.

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Week 3

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Well Yesterday started week 3 & the start of stage 2.
At first I thought no big deal, now I m not sure. What ever possess me to start this before holidays? Well as I move on, prayerfully, I will also be improving my routines. I really need to work on finding something other then walking that I can handle with my back & knee. I m delighted that I've lost weight , yet disappointed that I haven't stepped it up more.
I guess when I think about it - week 3 means that I've actually accomplished 2 other weeks. Hey I even started measuring before I started stage 2. I even ate 5 fruits/veggies today, a mth ago I was lucky if I ate that in a week. I love fruits and vegetables, just hate to spend all that money n then have something go bad. So without realizing it I stopped buying all but canned. But now that I am to eat 5 every day they will never go bad again. so as I embrace week 3, stage 2 - I must remember that I am doing this for me.
I will be healthy.
I will not b overweight.
I will no longer hiding under my clothes.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY4DMB 11/25/2008 6:24PM

    Yeah - seems like Mt Everest to be doing this during the holidays....

But just think about it, if you can stay focused and not let yourself be overwhelmed by negativity when you slip (cuz we all know we have those irresistible favorite holiday food) - how great will you be feeling when the holidays are over?

If you can "stay on the wagon" during the holidays - the rest will seem easier in comparison. That's what I'm thinking to myself.

We can do it!

Comment edited on: 11/25/2008 6:24:40 PM

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WINDSURFER 11/24/2008 9:57AM

    Ohhhh ... I'm so with you in having mixed feelings about doing this just before the holidays! But hey - better before than after right? Can you imagine how much more of a slug we'd be afterwards were we not monitoring stuff?

Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog. It warmed my heart to read that someone else understood. emoticon And hey - I'm also a huge CSI fan - and Criminal Minds ... and a reader, of course.

OH! and the back and knee things. Yeppers! Those are 2 I have to work with as well. I've found that an elliptical machine is a lot easier on both than walking or a treadmill (at least for me). Walking (or standing) for too long kills my back.

I keep telling myself that if I stay with this and lose the weight - a lot of the pain will stop!

We can do this!


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BABIE_JANE 11/23/2008 9:22PM

    Frozen fruits and veggies are very nutritious, too. Even more so than canned. So, give them a try and they last longer, too. Good for you in making it through the other weeks and into this one. Also, good going on starting Stage 2. Keep up the great work!

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