MAGA99   153,322
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I AM SHOCKED - but in a good way

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I am shocked but in a good way. I have been really off for the last mth n half. Started with me hurting my back then there is this virus that I can't get rid of. So I stopped exercising and I haven't exactly been eating right , so I just knew I gained back alot of the weight that I had lost. I was so proud of getting under 240 but knew it was over. SURPRISE SURPRISE I have only gained 1/2 a lb since then.
So I m feeling better about a few things and yesterday I actually went back to doing my strengthening exercises. So I feel good about getting back to my lifestyle improvement. My goal is to be under 220 by Halloween, my 10 y\r wedding anniversary

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HICALGAL 8/19/2009 11:09PM

    i've had that happen to me too...good for you!! congrats on getting back in the groove and all the best on achieveing your halloween goal emoticon

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    Wow...that's great!

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PWRHSE2 8/19/2009 6:04PM

    I just had a similar experience, I work out and eat right and the scale didn't move for months, I went on vacation last week and didn't exercise and didn't eat that great and when I got back I thought that I would have gained 5 lbs and to my surprise I lost 3 lbs.

I guess our bodies just need a break once in a while

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A little over a week ago I was in my cousins civil union ceremony, it was a beautiful elaborate ceremony in which I was the matron of honor. It was a magical day, my hubby (best man) n the grooms men performed BUMP N GRIND. I showed the younguns how to break it down, shocked a few ppl on how a big gurl can move.

I was feeling great THEN I seen a pic & I m now devastated. My arms r huge they look worst now that I've been losing weight n I wish that I had never looked @ those pics cause it has made me feel so depressed. I knew that I was the biggest person in a dress but to c the pic makes it so in my face.

Now on top of being sick I never want to c ppl again.

Sometimes I really forget how big I m, so I've decided to take a restraining order out against cameras. I DO NOT WANT ANY CAMERAS WITHIN 500 FEET OF MYSELF

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YELLOWDAY 8/19/2009 8:53AM

    Well, you still have a humorous blog about it! But I too feel the same way I keep a picture from about 4yrs ago when I was 30 pds heavier. I was sitting on a couch and I was sooo shocked at my double chin. I have a round face anyway and if I gain that's the first place to see it. But looking through pictures I'm usually not in them I am taking them. So maybe I should 'nt be so hard on myself the kids are starting to say mom your not in a lot of these pics. No, someone had to take them. I do try to look up a little when being in a pic so it will look like there is a neck somewhere between chin and chest! ha emoticon

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LETHALTOY 8/18/2009 8:01PM

    oh girl friend i feel your pain. once upon a time agaho i was skinny i went out with friends and took pictures and when i got the pictures i could have died i was so fat i have never looked so bad in my life. i hate taking pics now. but one day ill be skinny again and it will be nice to have a pic or to then. one day....

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TRACYEH53 8/18/2009 7:50PM

    I know exactly how you feel! I went on vacation with my daughter and husband this summer and when I looked at the pictures of myself I was horrified! And then she put the pictures on facebook for the world to see! I signed on to SP in July but didn't really start until two weeks ago. Good Luck on your weight loss journey. emoticon

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LIVINGDEAD_GIRL 8/18/2009 7:43PM

    I know exactly how you feel, whenever someone takes a pic of me i do everything in my power to try to hide the bulges, even to going as far as using my nephew to conseal my fat tummy.

I don't think anyone ment to hurt you by taking a pic of you, they prolly just wanted to capture the memory of you getting down and having fun

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Well it's been over 2 weeks that I've had a fever, off and on. The only time it ain't bothering me is when I sit in the pool, even the ac doesn't cool me down. The couldn't find anything wrong with me I was even tested for swine flu - neg. All I do is eat, sleep, n sit in the pool. I haven't even cleaned the house in forever. I just feel so blah all the time.
I don't really want to have any contact with the rw. I just want to hibernate until it is cool again. I just want to disappear for a very long time. I don't like being around ppl especially those who act like they know me I guess the problem is that I ain't about myself i always put myself last and do everything I can to help ppl. And I will talk to ppl about things they do that bug me maybe not always in the nicest way but at least I do it face to face not behind their backs.
My healthier lifestyle went on vacation June 29, 2009 when I started my summer employment n I haven't been able to get back on track n just don't know what to do. I f the heat ever leaves I have a fellow sparker that will walk with me but I can't do it as long as this heat is like this
I need to jump start my self new lifestyle new friends new agenda new everything especiqlly a new outlook
I m better @ helping others then helping myself; why cant I just help myself

well enough of my pity party

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZANNE0606 8/18/2009 10:54AM

    I'm so sorry to hear you have had a fever for so long and that the doctors can't get to the bottom of the problem. I hope you start to feel better soon. Hopefully the cooler weather will make you feel better. And when you do start to feel better, everything else could fall into place for you.

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BABIE_JANE 8/18/2009 1:15AM

    If you are running a fever for 2 weeks, I suggest you check in with your doctor. That and all the other feelings could be a symptom of something physical. Take care.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 8/17/2009 9:13PM

    Well this is what I think maga, Like I said earlier, you have had lots going on, not long ago you had an injury, You got custody of your grandaughter, and now you are sick, I think that would knock a lot of people off track. You are such a sweet person and have always been giving to others, now you need to take, You need to get well so you can get back on track where I know you want to be.

I hope you feel better soon.

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JUNETWO68 8/17/2009 8:33PM

    Hang in there.

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Always in Pain

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I just seem to b stuck in a PAIN RUT.

My back is not getting better as quick as I think it should or as quick as it has in the past.
My knee & ankles are inflamed almost every day.
Then there is my asthma which has lead me back to the nebulizer.

So through these set backs I've went back to my old friend SELF PITY. I know exactly what I should b doing BUT easier said then done. It doesn't help that my so called rw support team tells me that I should just wait 2 wks, which would b after VBS & after my cousin's Civil Union Wedding. I should wait till then n the will join me. Like really if u aint joined yet what difference would that 2 wks make.

Well God willing tomorrow I will b going back to curves I haven't been there in 4 wks, due to the a busy schedule. I'm still not able to walk for longer then 5 to 10 mins @ a time.
So tomorrow after VBS we will c what happens prayerfully it wont b so humid

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 7/30/2009 12:18PM

    I will pray for you

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MISSCAROL 7/28/2009 9:03PM

    Look for the small successes! Don't beat yourself up over what you have not done or should have done.

I'll add an extra prayer for you. Frankly we can all do this together. emoticon

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DANITROTS2 7/26/2009 11:02PM

    Good luck with everything!!! You are doing a great job!!! As you said in your intro, it is time to take care of yourself, so make sure you do that! Good luck!!!!!!!! Like Lorikb, I will also keep you in my prayers! emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 7/26/2009 10:49PM

    Maga I will keep you in my prayers that you heal, I care!

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Day 258

Friday, July 24, 2009

Today I m making changes once again.

My eldest granddaughter LaLa has moved back in with us. She is 4 yrs old & I had her from birth to 3 1/2 yrs, in Nov I gave custody back to my daughter to give her a chance to take care of her child but didn't work out so well. I m truly happy for her return but now reality is hitting me. I have to once again reschedule my life so that I can find time to take care of me while I m taking care of my LaLa & my father & my volunteer responsibilities.

The problem is that I have a habit of putting others 1st. I haven't been to the gym in 4 wks. Tehn I hurt my back a few wks ago (covering for someone ) & it was getting better but don't I go today n twist it again. How did I twist u wonder by moving boxes that someone else was suppose to b moving but they were taking along time & I just wanted to help them.

I havent had a chance to take a day to my self in over a mth & it is really starting to get to me. Please don't take this as whining I m just sharing

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 7/25/2009 10:36AM

    I take time out in the morning before anything or anybody can distract me, to plan out my day and organize my thoughts. (Plan my meals) I don't need a whole ME DAY, or a trip to the spa, but I do need to take the time to take care of ME, to nurture my nature by taking the time to figure out what that is, and what I need to do to get it. As long as I take a step in the right direction every day I make progress and thats better than not. I don't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but the more I practice, the more I get done... and then taking ME time is a daily habit.
I choose what I want to eat, when I want to eat it, and I do not deprive myself of wanted gratification. But I do take the time for me to create my daily food plan so I am MINDFUL of the value of my choices. I don't always stick to my plan, and I do NOT feel guilty about it, but by just taking the time to evaluate my previous days choices, and compose a guideline for the day, relieves stress by taking the question and obsession out of the air. Posting my plan on the fridge seems to make it more real, outside of myself, and easier to follow when it seemingly is not about me. And yet when I do or get close even, it feels wonderful.

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HICALGAL 7/25/2009 7:29AM

    you need to find that balance by putting yourself back on the top of your to do list. when you take care of yourself essence you're doing everyone else a favor. God bless you.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 7/24/2009 11:29PM

    You love LaLa, you love all your family, You help your church, but we do need time for ourselves, Just t ry to get some time to yourself, but I do know how you missed lala when she was gone, Hang in there maga!

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