MAGA99   149,147
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Always in Pain

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I just seem to b stuck in a PAIN RUT.

My back is not getting better as quick as I think it should or as quick as it has in the past.
My knee & ankles are inflamed almost every day.
Then there is my asthma which has lead me back to the nebulizer.

So through these set backs I've went back to my old friend SELF PITY. I know exactly what I should b doing BUT easier said then done. It doesn't help that my so called rw support team tells me that I should just wait 2 wks, which would b after VBS & after my cousin's Civil Union Wedding. I should wait till then n the will join me. Like really if u aint joined yet what difference would that 2 wks make.

Well God willing tomorrow I will b going back to curves I haven't been there in 4 wks, due to the a busy schedule. I'm still not able to walk for longer then 5 to 10 mins @ a time.
So tomorrow after VBS we will c what happens prayerfully it wont b so humid

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 7/30/2009 12:18PM

    I will pray for you

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MISSCAROL 7/28/2009 9:03PM

    Look for the small successes! Don't beat yourself up over what you have not done or should have done.

I'll add an extra prayer for you. Frankly we can all do this together. emoticon

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DANITROTS2 7/26/2009 11:02PM

    Good luck with everything!!! You are doing a great job!!! As you said in your intro, it is time to take care of yourself, so make sure you do that! Good luck!!!!!!!! Like Lorikb, I will also keep you in my prayers! emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 7/26/2009 10:49PM

    Maga I will keep you in my prayers that you heal, I care!

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Day 258

Friday, July 24, 2009

Today I m making changes once again.

My eldest granddaughter LaLa has moved back in with us. She is 4 yrs old & I had her from birth to 3 1/2 yrs, in Nov I gave custody back to my daughter to give her a chance to take care of her child but didn't work out so well. I m truly happy for her return but now reality is hitting me. I have to once again reschedule my life so that I can find time to take care of me while I m taking care of my LaLa & my father & my volunteer responsibilities.

The problem is that I have a habit of putting others 1st. I haven't been to the gym in 4 wks. Tehn I hurt my back a few wks ago (covering for someone ) & it was getting better but don't I go today n twist it again. How did I twist u wonder by moving boxes that someone else was suppose to b moving but they were taking along time & I just wanted to help them.

I havent had a chance to take a day to my self in over a mth & it is really starting to get to me. Please don't take this as whining I m just sharing

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 7/25/2009 10:36AM

    I take time out in the morning before anything or anybody can distract me, to plan out my day and organize my thoughts. (Plan my meals) I don't need a whole ME DAY, or a trip to the spa, but I do need to take the time to take care of ME, to nurture my nature by taking the time to figure out what that is, and what I need to do to get it. As long as I take a step in the right direction every day I make progress and thats better than not. I don't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but the more I practice, the more I get done... and then taking ME time is a daily habit.
I choose what I want to eat, when I want to eat it, and I do not deprive myself of wanted gratification. But I do take the time for me to create my daily food plan so I am MINDFUL of the value of my choices. I don't always stick to my plan, and I do NOT feel guilty about it, but by just taking the time to evaluate my previous days choices, and compose a guideline for the day, relieves stress by taking the question and obsession out of the air. Posting my plan on the fridge seems to make it more real, outside of myself, and easier to follow when it seemingly is not about me. And yet when I do or get close even, it feels wonderful.

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HICALGAL 7/25/2009 7:29AM

    you need to find that balance by putting yourself back on the top of your to do list. when you take care of yourself essence you're doing everyone else a favor. God bless you.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 7/24/2009 11:29PM

    You love LaLa, you love all your family, You help your church, but we do need time for ourselves, Just t ry to get some time to yourself, but I do know how you missed lala when she was gone, Hang in there maga!

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

I ate 6 cupcakes with buttercream frosting . MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Deliciouso!
Do I feel guilty? NO
Am I depressed about it? NO
I'm just sharing that today I ate 6 vanilla cupcakes with buttercream frosting n jimmies.
I really enjoyed it. Then even though I was wayyy over calories I ordered out n had dominoes. It feels great I ate without guilt. You probably think that I've lost my mind, but I haven't. I found sanity. I will eat what I want when I want & then I will just deal with it n if necessary exercise a little extra n always make sure I drink my water.
Food will no longer control my mood or my destiny

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 7/24/2009 1:56PM

    Guilt is toxic and bad for us.
Taking responsibility and being honest have NOTHING to do with guilt. It is not a question in morality of good and bad, but simply of investing in self as in nutritional value or as in gratification value. They are both VALID investments each with their own pros & cons, leaving long and short term effects. It is about facing up to that fact and bit of reality, and taking responsibility for our choices, free from blame, escape, or displacing emotions... being HONEST about it. Human beings tend not to get hung up and dwell in self pity when they realize they are not the victim, that they have free will, and the power of choice. Nothing wrong with additional exercise to burn off additional calories... as long as you remain HONEST about it. If you choose not to do the calorie burn exercise, then the responsible choice is not to eat the calories in.

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S_BOETTCHER90 7/24/2009 10:12AM

    That is the state of mind that you need to have when you are diet and exercising. I used to be a huge eater and at the time I felt bad about it. Now I think of food as fuel. The more fuel I eat, the more to expect when it comes to exercising.

Never hold yourself back to "comfort foods". That was the biggest mistake I made when I first started. Keep up the great work!

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DIANEDOESIT 7/24/2009 9:15AM

    Never, NEVER feel guilty about food!!! This is something that you will have to do for the rest of your life, and we ALL have those 6 cupcake days!! As long as it isn't followed by a 7 butter tart's all good.

I've gone over on my calories 3 outta 4 days this week. Do I feel guilty?? NO. But, I will feel disappointed when I get on the scale and it hasn't moved. It's a nice reality check that throws me back on course pretty quick. But guily....nah...not anymore. This is MY lifestyle change, and I CAN have a 6 cupcake day occasionally without guilt because I'm NOT on a diet!!!! 36 pounds later though...this has been more successful than any diet I've ever tried.

Hang in there're doing fine!! emoticon

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Road to Recovery

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Praise God - I m well on my road to recovery.

I may not b going to the gym yet or walking the mile w/o a break but I m doing my cardio minutes.
I do summer programming at my church & between 8 am 1 pm I do minimum of 10,000 steps, SO even though I don't do it all at one time I do walk over a mile a day. I been using the pool to exercise so that has helped alot.
I plan to go back to the curves starting this Friday & I plan to start walking my mile again with a new spark buddy, real soon.

I will survive this latest setback & I will move forward even stronger.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

W8FALNOFF 7/22/2009 3:46PM

    Marcia, you amaze me..and what an inspiration you are to me!
You have no idea!
I can be having the hardest day I think is possible, and yet I can come back to see how you are doing and how you are pushing forward each day and even after your back are back at it and doing great..
You fill me with motivation and with your attitude I can always find an encouraging message in all your Blogs!
Thank you, you are the best!

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HICALGAL 7/22/2009 7:48AM

    i believe you will. your determination and a plan will suit you well. keep up the good work!



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ILEANA77 7/22/2009 3:39AM

    Water exercise is a good low impact exercise and Fun! I am happy because you will start walking again.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 7/21/2009 10:30PM

    yes you will and that is so nice you are walking with a Spark Buddy

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CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 7/21/2009 10:20PM

    Thats the way to hang in there and stay positive.

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hurt my back

Friday, July 17, 2009

Lesson learned.
Well I havent been exercising porperly for the last three weeks. Now I m paying for it, I went to move a box of milk from the counter to the fridge ( I was covering for one of my summer program workers). Then I had to sweep n mop the social hall usaully all I do is supervise n tutor as needed.
After work I was in alot of pain but I went home n cleaned n made my back even worst. That was Monday today is Friday n I m walking with a cane.
Well the lesson that I learned is that no matter what I have to find time to exercise cause when I dont my health can go backwards real quick.
Keep me in yours prays that this will b a speedy recovery

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETUPANDDOIT 7/21/2009 11:07AM

    Hang in there. Take care of yourself.
Prayers and hugs to you!

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CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 7/19/2009 2:43PM

    I will pray for you and wish you a speedy recovery.

So have you recovered yet? :-) How are you today?

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OAKTREE10 7/19/2009 10:01AM

    my thoughts and prayers are with you!

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MISSCAROL 7/18/2009 9:51PM

    I wish you a speedy recovery and you are definitely in my prayers.

Together we can all get back on track. emoticon

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HICALGAL 7/18/2009 4:29AM

    hugs and prayers for a speedy recovery and take care of yourself.



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