Do I really want to do this?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Yea, I'm going thru it again.
I've always been an emotional person & I've suffered from depression for about 35 yrs (I'm going on 41 now). But since I've started workin on getting healthy it's just soooo much worst. i just don't know if it's worth it at this point. I love to cook, I love the flavor of food & I love to eat OH BOY DO I. I have been eating healthier, I have been exercising. I'm just not sure if it's really worth it.
Yea I'm just really feeling sorry for myself.
The dr told me to lose weight & my pains would ease up, well that didnt happend they r actually worst. Yes I went to the dr to c y & the test r the same as b4 so they dont understand y I'm in more pain. I cant even get out of bed most morning w/o crawling at first.
Well I guess thats enough feeling sorry for myself for the night.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LENORE135 2/22/2009 11:17AM

I don't know if this will help or not, but during my last yoga class my teacher was explaining to another person (who has spinal problems and stuff) that when she wakes up that she should do so S-L-O-W-L-Y. Wiggle toes and fingers, move head back and forth (like saying no), shrug shoulders, breath - notice where breath goes, slowly increase amount of breath. Move ankles back and forth, move legs from hip to toe back and forth, in unison. Push the small of your back into the bed, clench you core muscles. Do that a couple of times. Turn on you side to prepare getting out to bed. Think about what you are doing on this day. Let you arms begin the lifting procedure to get into a sitting position as you move your legs over the side of the bed. Just sit there for a bit. Breath in and out, extending your spine up, straighten your shoulders. Tuck your chin down to your chest to get a little stretch in the neck area. Find the special spot deep inside of you that is so happy to be you, and get your day rolling. Lenore Report Inappropriate Comment

CRAZY4DMB 2/21/2009 11:15AM

I'm really sorry you're not feeling better - it would be really hard to stay motivated if you're feeling worse instead of better. But the changes are happening inside - you are getting healthier. Re: your increased pain - I think you should push your doctors to look further. Perhaps the pain is being caused by something else, not your original diagnosis. They should keep trying to help you and get you feeling better. You shouldn't have to suffer. When you're feeling down - know that we're all pulling for you and cheering you on - you CAN do it! Report Inappropriate Comment

ERINVB 2/19/2009 10:58PM

stay strong-maybe it just has to get worse before it gets better! think about how much good your are doing for yourself by going through this! good luck Report Inappropriate Comment

My Spark Angels

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

MY SPARK ANGELS

Sometimes there are people in our lives who are just there
Not particularly close to but cordial & friendly
Then something happens & you’re made to realize
That this person is a very special person in your life
This person is gonna drag u out of the darkness
the darkness that is over taken everything in your life

Every time u seem to need that kick in the ass
They are there where u least expect them
It starts out as an e-mail or comment on line
Then you hear their words as you struggle
Reminding you that you can do this, you have to
They r there again to offer encouragement

Sometimes even when we know the answer
It is easier to except it from another
They say if u truly want to see your reflection
Let another be that reflection for you
I thank God for my very special
SPARK ANGELS

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY4DMB 2/24/2009 9:46PM

Beautifully written! Report Inappropriate Comment

BABIE_JANE 2/19/2009 12:48AM

This is really nice. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Report Inappropriate Comment

-DEBY- 2/18/2009 4:27PM

LOVEly thanks for sharing that... BLESSings ALLways Deby Choosing to share Courageous energy today~~~~~0:) Report Inappropriate Comment

100 days

Monday, February 16, 2009

Well today makes 100 days on Spark, WOW.

I m going a little backwards right now, but I m getting things in order. I've gained a little weight back the last week, my stress level is controling me @ this time. Unfortunately I go thru some thing every year before my b-day which is next wk. At least I'm not as depressed as I was last yr when I turned 40.

I've learned alot here. Now the keys is to use the knowledge everyday. I know what I should b doing & I'm always one to share with others when they need support, I'm just not good at helping myself. So when I feel like giving up I look @ those pics of me & my hubby on my page, then I look @ the pic of me taken last mth, then I know that I can do this. I WILL NOT GIVE UP - NO MATTER WHAT

Well here's to 100 days & to 100 more

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMCRABBY66 2/17/2009 8:04AM

I am with ya! I have the SAME feeling! This weekend I kind of gave up, but I found my strength again. Sparks has really been so great for me. It is nice to know that we are not alone in all these feelings we have, going through the weight loss process! Report Inappropriate Comment

The Little Things

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Its amazing how a little thing can make you feel so wonderful. I just found out that I won fitness minutes for my winter challenge team GO MAHOGANY. Now I want to workout even more. My hubby looked at me like I was crazy when I read my spark mail and yelled. Amazingly the weight I lost, the inches I lost, & I get excited cause I put all cardio mins down & got acknowledged for it. I m soo looking forward to the Spring Challenge. The other day I bought a new cardio workout DVD. My new favorite store is FIVE & BELOW. They have a workout aisle

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LITTLE_QUEEN 2/16/2009 4:13PM

Sounds like you are doing great! I am happy for you. Hugs, Lori Report Inappropriate Comment

W8FALNOFF 2/15/2009 5:32PM

Like I said before...you are awesome..keep that body moving! Patty Report Inappropriate Comment

CHANNEL1988 2/15/2009 12:04AM

Can't wait until I reach where you're at right now, congrats! :D Report Inappropriate Comment

CHANNEL1988 2/15/2009 12:04AM

Sorry for the double post Comment edited on: 2/15/2009 12:04:31 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

Water Retention

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Well I didn't exactly gain back that 3 lbs. It seems that a health problem that I try to forget about reared its ugly head again FLUID RETENTION. My legs were really hurting last night & I realized that they were swollen. I took my water pills this morning & I m no longer up 3 lbs, I m actually down 2. BUT I m still using the 245 cause that was my official weigh in. My legs are starting to swoll again as I sit here so I guess I will b taken my water pills for the next cpl of days.