Thursday, November 13, 2008
I got up this morning & it was raining, usually I love the rain. But all I could think was 'damn it raining too hard to go to the track - what the hell am i gonna do now, maybe it will slow down'. I had to laugh at myself, I am usually full of excuses as to why NOT exercise, especially walking. Now I am looking forward to it. Did strengthening yesterday, it recommended not o do back to back. I checked out my new workout DVDs, I realized I'm not quite ready for them. So instead I decided to check out this stepper thing that I found in my dad's basement. It's called 'Body Sculpting Stepper' WOW was that a workout, just the 1st min I was having trouble breathing. I spent almost an hour of sweaty type housework & rearranging. As disappointed as I am about not going to the track, I realize I can find another way to burn those calories. My hubby is just so amazed, cause he knows I aint usually the one, I really hate to sweat. I have to go buy a scale tomorrow to do aweigh in (use to do it @ dr but no more insurance). I'm a little scared cause I know that the scale is NOT my friend, it doesn't always show the truth. So as I sit here listening to the news inform us of more rain, I tell myself YES I can find a way to burn the calories. Yes I can lose this weight. Yes I can be healthy again. YES I CAN, I CAN , I CAN.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I feel so disappointed in myself. I keep going over my recommended calorie intake. But I've seriously cut down on what I was eatting. I drink water all day. I walk regardless of how sick I'm feelin or how much pain I'm on. But I just can't seem to stop eatting, I'm not even hungry-I just eat. When I have the money I try to make sure I buy healthy snacks & fruit. I've even cut down on my coffee & didn't even realize it at 1st. How do you change habits that you've had you're entire life. People don't seem to realize how hard this is. My son, I love BUT he sabotages me, maybe he does it without realizing. I didn't eat his ice cream cake, though. It's just so hard to stay motivated when noone seems to understand (although hubby does try). I love salads, fruits, veggies, so why can't I eat right. Why do I keep overeatting. The worst part it's not even depression type eatting any more. I just keep eatting without thinking. Someone offers me food, I take it and eat. I am so truly disgusted with myself.
Monday, November 10, 2008
I got this bad habit of not thinking. I know how to eat. I know how to order when eatting out. I drink plenty of water. Since I started this new chapte in my life, I've taken much better care of myself. When I go food shopping, I make sure I m not hungry & I do not buy sugar filled junk food(much to my husband's brokenheart). MY PROBLEM is sometimes when I'm visiting people or @ that rare family gathering, even @ church functions or meetings, I will pick something up & start munching without thinking. It's like I go on automatic pilot, I just don't think. I find myself eatting potatoe chips instead of the fruit.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Well I'm new here n I m tryin 2 figure it all out. I m basically the CAREGIVER. U know the type, always taking care of every1 n running out of time 2 take care of self. I have 3 grown children, over the yrs I took in a few run aways, I even had a foster child, n until recently was raising my 3yr old grandbaby. Unfortunately I lost both my mom & her mom to cancer, took care of both of them, I m now taken care of my father who is disabled(his wife left him last time he got sic). I've had bad health for the last decade, suffer from depression, Well thanks 2 my beloved hubby (9yrs although he was my 1st love , we found each other again after 13 yrs), I m now startin 2 take care of myself. I stated walkin a mth ago, this wk I start exercise also. At my heaviest I was 303lbs, its went up & down over the yrs. I m now 265lbs. I don't know how 2 put myself 1st, my hubby spoils me. Sometimes I just think it's 2 make up 4 the past. I can now say IT'S MY TURN, but can I really do it.
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