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How fast time slips by... summer is gone?

Monday, September 08, 2014

So first, the "excuses and explanations" part that I promised I'd blog about at some point...

It's been nearly a year since my last meaningful blog, the "me" project, which became a popular blog here on Spark. The rush of supporters was amazing and somehow intimidating at the same time. Suddenly, I was accountable to more than myself and a few of my faithful spark friends - because I had followers... me?? followers?? I guess it freaked me out or something because I distanced myself from the site for a bit. Then, as I got my own head together late spring, all heck broke loose, involving my entire family...

Lots of "stuff" just didn't go right this year... Over the terribly cold winter, the pool was over 3/4 frozen and the ice expansion caused the pool wall to separate and the liner burst. Now, fortunately, most of the water was frozen but the pool is right outside the house. Enter the basement flood, followed by fight number 1 with the insurance company...

May 5 at bedtime, my eldest son looked out our kitchen window to see a fire in the barn. When it was discovered, it was small. After calling for help, we ran up to the barn and waited for help to arrive. They came very quickly but it seemed like ages. Because we don't have a public water source being out in the country, there are no fire hydrants. All of the water had to be carried in by tanker trucks. We had over 11 volunteer fire companies at our barn that night. They were amazing. Our local fire chief said that ours was the hottest fire he'd been involved in during his 40 year career as a fireman. There was little they could do... Thankfully, the barn did not house any animals and none of the fire fighters were injured. The barn was over 100 years old and housed farm equipment and lots of stuff (including much of our lawn equipment and tools, kid toys, furniture for me to restore, etc.). Not to mention that it was just a cool area for kids to play. Aaaannnd, fight number 2 with the insurance company. We lose (again). It was a total loss...

A month or so later, my oldest wrecks his pedal bike - going head over his handle bars on the road. Before you ask, no, he wasn't wearing his helmet (although as a side note - he now does willingly...). Major ER visit - back board, neck brace, the whole nine yards. Mostly minor road rash but he left with a shoulder sling and not able to walk. The greatest concern was a concussion but after a few visits with the specialist, he was released as healthy a month later.

Shortly after all that, I had a few days in the hospital following an ER visit. I'd had chest pain for about a week and then it started creeping down the left arm and up into the jaw. Yes, I'm a nurse and yes, I know... But life was a bit crazy and until the pain started traveling, I was assuming it to be anxiety related. Well, I was not right, I can admit that... I wasn't having a heart attack. The doc said probably gastrointestinal or related to my COPD but probably the pain that saved my life - because next time, it may have been a heart attack. I guess I'm at pretty high risk and need to get my ca-ca together. So, I'm still getting all kinds of testing done... we'll see where it goes.

So, on top of those problems, we had another, ongoing problem within the home that had started shortly after Christmastime. One of my adopted sons has had a very rough year, which in turn has been very difficult for the rest of us to endure. If you know anything about kids who have been through trauma and separation as a child, you know the issues that often occur later. If you don't know, please don't judge or pretend to understand... Anyway, as I said, it's been quite a roller-coaster. We had pretty significant issues at home that had been progressively worsening. The situation became unmanageable which ultimately necessitated two separate hospitalizations and then his attending a month long stay at a facility over an hour away from home. Much of our summer was spent driving to visit our son. Now, I certainly am not complaining - it's my job and desire to spend time with my child. But, please put yourself in my shoes for a moment and think about my day... 8+ work hours, then another hour travel, visit an hour, and another hour ride home. Add in all of the duties of parenting and managing a household - plus dealing with the farm. Now, pile on the other kids' needs and frustrations about their "ruined" summer. It was quite the ordeal.

We have tried to keep our problems to ourselves but this year has been a bit more than we could handle on our own. Anyway, it seems that things have finally settled down a bit. We are all here, in our home and while we still have a huge mess in our barn-yard, we are moving along together.

We did have some fun moments this summer too. We went to the amusement park, a water park, and our annual trip to the Outer Banks - which was awesome because my best friend and family were able to join us for a few days!! We are also trying to have campfires with the kids to relax every week or two, which we will continue into the fall.

This summer was rough. My yard has been in a chronic state of needing cut (hard to mow five acres with only one push-mower and keep up with it all...). The house has been dusty and in need of a good scrubbing most of the summer. And laundry? Lets just not talk about that yet... but we are gradually catching up. The year has been quite humbling. We have much work to do to around the house and farm. But, I think I'm finally ready to re-enter my journey to health. This past weekend, I took the first step. I was able to travel to Buffalo, NY with my best friend to meet up with some spark friends (new and old) and run (walk) the Dirty Girl 5k again. So, now it's time to keep the momentum going.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Wish you well and much progress on your journey!

- Sunny

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CHSHULER89 9/9/2014 10:22PM

    Go girl! You are so strong and beautiful! So blessed to have an awesome Saturday with all of you amazing women! We will keep it going! emoticon emoticon

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IDICEM 9/9/2014 10:36AM

  Wishing you better days ahead. Welcome back! Congrats on the 5K! emoticon

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PATTISTAMPS 9/8/2014 7:16PM

    When I think I have problems, I will just read your blog over again! Insurance companies are "fun", but things can be replaced eventually. YOU, however, can not, nor can your son! So as you get all that ca ca together, remember that you have been stressed, but you are still blessed.

My nephew was adopted at age 10, and had a hard life prior to that, so I have an idea of what kinds of issues you have had. All you can do is love them and keep trying, and sometimes it is enough! And the days when it is not, your friends will be sending prayers!

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NAYKNITS 9/8/2014 5:33PM

    I wish/hope you can see yourself through my eyes- as I'm reading this and thinking- DAMN, thats alot of ca-ca going on. You are such a strong woman!!! emoticon I might have needed a room with 4 padded walls after all of that. Know that you can vent here anytime. emoticon emoticon lots of peeps here to offer love & support!

So glad to spend the day at the Dirty Girl! Keep that momentum going! emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/8/2014 1:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PENOWOK 9/8/2014 10:11AM

    I'd say you had more than your share of challenges, yet you are back to the good side!! Good for you!! That proves you are not just a survivor but a true winner. Yes, I totally understand some of the things that can go on in a young person's mind...feelings of abandonment, loss, grief...and not so sure why those feelings are even there because so much happened that are not consciously remembered. It's scary for all. We've had and lost insurance fights as well... bad deal. You had no time to catch your breath. I'm super happy that you are back and know you are loved and cared for... no matter what...

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DONNA_VT 9/8/2014 9:41AM

    As another follower I am Happy that you are back. You sure had and continue to have a plateful. I do want to let you know that I and the "other followers" are here for you to support or just listen when you need to vent. This is a no judgement zone so feel free to post or PM anytime. Good Luck as you continue.

Comment edited on: 9/8/2014 9:42:52 AM

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LEESA-B 9/8/2014 9:00AM

  My gosh, what a crazy year you've had! Here's to hoping you are on the cusp of a relaxing period.

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    Glad you survived.
Glad you are BACK!

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    Way to go, Sweetie. So sorry about the bumpy road ... I know, they weren't bumps, they were landmines. Worst of all, your son. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt and it sucks. You've earned an award just living through all of this. It's hard to be the Mom and to be a nurse and the Mom just makes it doubly hard, not easier no matter what any other person tells you ... we expect so much more of ourselves and so does the rest of the world. Oh lord, I'm going to get on my soapbox. I'll crawl down, you don't need that. Just know that you are in my prayers and I have the biggest hugs and the most admiration for you. It's been a difficult year and you have survived. You deserve a tiara! YOU are emoticon !!! emoticon

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FUNLOVEN 9/8/2014 8:39AM

    OMG, OMG, OMG! That's all I kept saying to myself with each new paragraph of your blog. And, as I read along, I kept reminding myself to count my blessings.

Glad you are finally seeing some light at the end of this tunnel. You are such a strong women to endure all of these events. Now you can catch your breath to apply this strength to your Spark.


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MAWMAW101 9/8/2014 7:54AM

    Being one of those "followers", I am so glad to read that you survived! My heart goes out to you having been the Mom on the farm, with the barn fire and hurt child (fell out of barn loft-different barn). The troubled kid was biological and no pool but otherwise I can relate!
Glad to see you back, continue that much deserved "me" project.
emoticon emoticon

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All about me (an alphabet full of facts...)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

This was completely copied from my Sparkfriend, Amy. I figured, if she can put herself out there, so could I. I enjoyed learning more about her, so I'm hoping all y'all enjoy learning more about me. Before reading this, please note that I find sharing about myself to be incredibly difficult... That said:

A is for Age:
B is for Booze:
C is for Car:
Dodge Mini-van - out of necessity; sizewise the family just won't fit into a little sports number...
D is for Dad's name:
Kerry - lost to heart disease almost 19 years ago.
E is for Ego:
hmm... weak?
F is for Favorite song or music:
Almost anything but I'm a sucker for Neil Diamond
G is for Goof off thing to do:
Unfortunately, Candy Crush... need I say more??
H is for Hometown:
Born and remain in Mt. Pleasant Pennsylvania
I is for IQ:
rather not say... to many critics and judges out there ;)
J is for Jam or Jelly you like:
Homemade mixed berry freezer jam - not too sweet, just right
K is for Kids:
5 boys - 13, 12, 10, 10, and 3 (the 2nd and 3rd in the line-up were adopted)
L is for Living arrangement:
Small farmhouse on some acrage
M is for Mom's name:
N is for Name of best friend:
O is for Observations:
Life is too short to get upset over the little things. Too much drama. Not enough compromise.
P is for Phobias:
stepping out of my own bubble - I'd prefer to be a fly on the wall watching but not being noticed.
Q is for Quote you like:
"Lighten up" - my dad. He meant don't sweat the small stuff but it seems to apply to so much in my life.
R is for Relationship:
Started dating in 1991 (high school sweetheart) and married 14 years
S is for Siblings:
younger brother and younger sister
T is for Talent:
besides eating?? knitting, crafts, cooking, baking (not sure I'm talented in these areas but I enjoy doing them, lol)
U is for Unique trait:
freckles in the summer
V is for vegetable you love:
W is for Worst traits:
X- is for X-rays you've had:
Lots of chest x-rays over the years... spine, foot, wrist
Y is for Yummy food you make:
Z is for Zodiac sign:
So now its YOUR turn! Post this! I want to read more and know more about you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOLLYM48 1/27/2014 7:41PM

    Thanks, it was great getting to know you better. 5 boys, wow, you are one busy mom!
Have a great week!

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ENDERLI 1/27/2014 9:33AM

    Awesome! 13,12,10,10 & 3!!!! THose boys are beautiful.
I will blog my list.
Love you Melissa!

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DONNA_VT 1/23/2014 9:47AM

    Thanks for sharing . . . .too funny that you are in Mt Pleasant . . . .my SIL is in Latrobe . . . .we visit there a couple of times a year.

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    Your blog was a good read.
Thanks for sharing yourself.
Hugs, Audra

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PENOWOK 1/23/2014 6:38AM

    A is for Age: 62
B is for Booze: none in 40 years
C is for Car: prius
D is for Dad's name: FX
E is for Ego: ??
F is for Favorite song or music: Jesus music
G is for Goof off thing to do: hmmm???
H is for Hometown: Florham Park, NJ
I is for IQ: used to eb higher, I am sure...
J is for Jam or Jelly you like: raspberry
K is for Kids: 3 boys, 2 girls, all grown
L is for Living arrangement: all electric house in the city of 60,000
M is for Mom's name: Flo, gone about 12 years
N is for Name of best friend: Larry, my husband
O is for Observations: This world is SO big...and so small...
P is for Phobias: not sure
Q is for Quote you like: become like a little child
R is for Relationship: married almost 30 years on this second marriage
S is for Siblings: 2 sisters and a brother
T is for Talent: compassionate,caring, hard like to scrapbook
U is for Unique trait: lots of broken bones in the past
V is for vegetable you love: Broccoli
W is for Worst traits: can think selfishly
X- is for X-rays you've had: Lots of x-rays over the years... spine, foot, leg, nose
Y is for Yummy food you make: spark recipes
Z is for Zodiac sign: Aquarius

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MAWMAW101 1/23/2014 6:31AM

    Good blog!
emoticon emoticon

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FUSIONFITNESS3 1/23/2014 12:34AM

    emoticon for sharing about yourself.
Enjoyed the read.

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KOHINOOR2 1/22/2014 9:53PM

    Good job. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The "ME" Project; Week 4 Addendum

Monday, October 07, 2013

I was asked to share the blog that inspired me to think about food addiction. Brad's blog was posted shortly after I began dealing with a close family member and substance abuse issues. The timing of it all just got my brain thinking...

Here's the link (if I did this correctly!!)...

If it didn't work, let me apologize in advance... I've never done this before, lol!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIJ7 2/18/2014 3:26PM

    it worked~

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HOLLYM48 10/11/2013 7:59PM

    I just found Brad's page yesterday and he is a great blog writer and this was a great blog!

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SHOAPIE 10/11/2013 1:22PM


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PATTISTAMPS 10/11/2013 11:10AM

    Thanks! I hope your week is going well. I've been pretty good this week... and tonight out for dinner is sushi, so will be on-track! YEAH!

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    Thankyou I just read that, remarkable!

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BRADMILL2922 10/10/2013 2:46AM

    Aww, thank you Melissa for sharing my blog! That was very sweet of you :)

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PEEKABOO4-KLS 10/9/2013 8:03AM

    thanks for posting. turns out id already read that. :)

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MYRTROSE 10/8/2013 12:30PM

    One day at a time is really all we can do. Thanks for the link!

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    Yes, we need to remember
"What we eat in private, shows in public."

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 10/8/2013 8:33AM

    Yep, it works!

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WEEPINGANGEL74 10/8/2013 1:45AM

    Pretty much everything he writes is inspiring in some way!! THanks for sharing.

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PENOWOK 10/7/2013 8:54PM

    Yes! I enjoyed Brad's blog, too!! Very relatable!

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JAMBABY0 10/7/2013 8:52PM

    thanks for sharing

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The "ME" Project; Week 4

Monday, October 07, 2013

First, a HUGE thank you to all of you who continue to support me, despite MY lack of effort. Without it, I think I'd be throwing in the towel, as I have every other time... But I am accountable to the my Spark Friends, even if I struggle to hold myself accountable... As a result - week 4 blog... another mismatched conglomeration of babbling that hopefully makes sense to others and doesn't confuse anyone to terribly.

I'm almost too embarrassed to write today. Last week was the worst week I've had in ages. Not just because of the situations that pop up or the typical daily chaos of raising 5 boys... No, this week's flop was all me. I chose every morsel that went into my mouth. I chose to forgo the exercise. In essence, I CHOSE for things to stay just the way they are... which today, I can only describe as sluggish and sloth-like. Oh and gluttonous... That's a good description, too. But, I cannot dwell... lest I continue to be sucked into the vat of negativity that I've lived in for so long.

So, last week I shared that we were dealing with some family problems. While the issue in question is not in my household and does not directly impact our home, it remains a concern and weighs heavily on my mind. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about substance abuse this week... I cannot imagine being addicted to a chemical substance to the point that it drives every choice in every moment of my day. I have an addiction to caffeine... trust me, you don't want to talk to me without my first morning cup. However, have I gone a day without? Certainly. And did it kill me? Certainly not (although I was a bit cranky...). Drug addiction (and yes, I realize caffeine is technically a drug but in the big picture of the world... ), however, drives a person mentally and physically crazy. Hmm... connection?

A friend's blog last week got me thinking... between our family's recent interfacing with the world of addiction and my friend's blog about food addiction, I've had a lot going on in my head. I've heard others talking about food addiction. For years. Friends. TV. Continuing education articles. Clients. Spark articles. How is it that I never contemplated this with regard to myself?? Like, am I dumb? Seriously!

So, how does one quit an addiction. Cold turkey, of course. "Simply" stop using the substance in question. So, you quit smoking. Great, TONS of healthy benefits and you CAN live without nicotine. Let's say it's alcohol. You withdrawal from it and there are tons of health benefits. And you CAN live without ever taking another sip of the stuff. Pain killers - same thing. Withdrawal and done (although it does create future issues with pain management abilities...) yet you CAN live without the stuff. But then there's food. A person addicted to eating cannot simply stop eating. Or they would die. So the food addict is forced to face temptation on a daily basis and not "just say no" but rather painstakingly choose which component of their "substance" to partake for the purposes of nutrition. Dare I compare the concept of chemical addiction with food addiction?

I cannot allow myself to feel sorry for myself. I chose my activities (or lack thereof) for every day last week. Today, I must try to make better decisions. My goals remain the same. Yet I must add an additional task... as I fell backwards in my dietary choices this week, too...

Week 4 Goal: Four twenty minute workout sessions of varying intensity and activity with appropriately balanced food intake (tracked).

It's a new week Sparkies! Let's make the most of it!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIJ7 2/18/2014 3:24PM

    Moderation is the key and THAT'S what I have trouble with! I quit smoking--cold turkey--over 30 years ago. It was the hardest thing I had ever done and for years it would come back to me, subconsciously. I even had dreams that I had started smoking again! Strange~

The food issues are multiple. Different triggers for different people, seasons, situations, emotions, etc. and you never know when something is going to trigger it. I have found that I like to feel full. I'm not hungry at all and know when I should quit eating, but I prefer to eat not until I'm stuffed, but until I feel full. I love good, healthy food--but I want too much of it at a time.

I appreciate you sharing your journey. On to read the next blog :)

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    I will pray that you 'overcome' the addiction of food so that you are actually not even tempted by the bad stuff anymore. The thing I found interesting is I have been analysing my behaviour re food and I'm uncovering some areas that I've been in denial about. As I bring them into the light by blogging and finding better ways, they no longer have the power over me. All this indirectly affects what, how and when I put food in my mouth. Food addiction is a symptom - what is the cause? That's the key question! Good luck!

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BRADMILL2922 10/10/2013 2:48AM

    Keep fighting and keep making the best choices possible. There will be ups and downs, just don't let the downs define your journey! You are stronger than that and you will succeed!

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ENDERLI 10/9/2013 7:50AM

    Hey Melissa!
I'm with you...I'm addicted to bad for me food! Maybe thats how we look at it?
You are doing such a great job!!! Stick with it, it will pay off in the long run.
You are awesome!!!!

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IMPATIENS2 10/8/2013 10:07PM

  I used to think, too, that of course we can't go cold turkey on food. But then I realized that I'm not addicted to food, I'm addicted to over-eating. I absolutely know when I am eating more than is good for me. I haven't been successful in quitting over-eating, but I believe it's possible. Thinking of over-eating as an addiction helps me use insights that others have gained from working on other addictions. For instance, addicts in the early stages of challenging their addictions have to stay away from situations where alcohol or tobacco is readily available. Taking the analogy seriously, I literally need to take a different path through the office on days when donuts are offered, or I'm putting myself in a situation where I am likely to back-slide. Etc.

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MYRTROSE 10/8/2013 12:28PM

    Fresh start, new week, new opportunities await! Just keep moving baby!

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IMLOCOLINDA 10/7/2013 11:40PM

    Just keep moving in the direction of your dreams.

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CFMOSS 10/7/2013 5:56PM's a new week. Here's to a successful week - some exercise, food in moderation.

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    Unfortunately for those of us with food issues, it's not just the food itself. It's those who push the food. Or who know of our struggles and who persist to put the stuff in our faces anyway. It's a tough one, that's for certain. But, I guess they each are.

Hang in there! You haven't given up, so you're a step ahead! Figure out what it is that you CAN do this week and work on that one thing. Can you get your exercise in? Do that, let it be where your focus is. Once you have made that a sustainable habit, then tackle the food. If it's your water, start there. You don't have to work on everything all at once. Make a plan that works for you! After all, this journey is ALL about YOU!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FUNLOVEN 10/7/2013 2:54PM

    Thanks for your 4th Week update. By reading the responses it seems like may people have not had to deal with the type of drug addiction your family is dealing with right now (even from afar). Believe me when I say that drug addiction is nothing like any other addictions we face. We may think these people have no willpower, but you cannot judge until you have walked in those shoes. It is like a monster that no willpower can overcome without help.

Food is an addiction of sorts for us. And like you said, we can't very well stop eating. Wouldn't that be great if that fixed everything for our weight - LOL! I sometimes wonder if part, just part mind you, of the problem is the "It's all about me" world that is developing around us. We can give up some food, but our inner child says "I don't want to!".

Good for you for posting today. Lets put this food addiction monster in a cage and our inner child in the corner until she/he can behave! emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 10/7/2013 12:42PM

    I never thought food addiction was a real thing. Turns out I was wrong. This is coming from a recovering binge eater who had NO idea she had a problem. Keep fighting, keep setting goals, you're going to do this!

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THINNER321 10/7/2013 11:51AM

  Like they say,,, "It is a new day!!" Keep sparking! If you can raise 5 boys and be a nurse then you can spark too! emoticon

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DONNA_VT 10/7/2013 11:21AM

    I have much the same type of conversation with my DH regarding food and how we just can't stop eating like smokers. I am glad you came to blog today. You are still trying and there is something to be said for that. This is not an easy journey and none of our journeys our the same. We can relate to some aspects but your hurdles are personal and only you can conquer them. Your Spark friends are always hear to lend an ear and offer support. Good Luck to you this week. Two steps forward and one back is still forward progress. emoticon

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BEANIES_MOM 10/7/2013 11:14AM

    Some days I do just wish I could give up eating like it was a non essential task. I have a feeling that would be so much easier than the daily struggle to make the right decisions.

While last week may not have been your best, you should be proud of the fact that you acknowledge it wasn't your best and that you are honest with yourself about your efforts or lack there of. I know for a long time I struggled with thinking I should see progress when in reality I was lying to myself about the effort I was putting in. I hope this week is better for you. emoticon

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MAWMAW101 10/7/2013 10:51AM

    No you can't just give up food but you can give up unhealthy eating (at least for a week)! You can work in 5 minutes of some movement even if the 20 minutes you plan doesn't happen. It is never easy and with a houseful of boys (been there done that) it is a bigger challenge.
No matter what---don't give up. Starting over on Monday is better than giving up!
Wishing you the best week and will be waiting for the next segment of The "ME" Project!

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LEESA-B 10/7/2013 10:20AM

  I've never really believed in going cold turkey on anything without professional help, anyway. That takes an enormous amount of will power that, sort of by definition, addicts are rather lacking in.

BUT, small changes (remember Fast Break goals?) can do a lot. Mindful eating, where you pause before you put anything in your mouth and make yourself aware that this is your choice to eat or drink this, can also help.

But, simply recognizing the root of the problem is a huge accomplishment. Just remember to not let it control you!

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PATTISTAMPS 10/7/2013 10:11AM

    I have the same ideas about food addiction, and I did conquer my nicotine habit years ago! But you just can't give up food! Remember a long time ago when people were having their mouths wired shut to lose weight... I can pretty much assure you I would have managed to slurp down milkshakes... One who is determined will find a way! Which brings up back to where we are. How determined are we to beat this??? I SAY I am, but are my choices and actions supporting this??? Not very well. I did successfully work out last week - 3 hard gym workouts and some "mini" stuff at home in between. did my food choices support me.... nope. Bad Patti! Actually, I did eat a lot of healthy things, but added too many not so healthy, and in too big of portions.

Today is a new day and a new chance to do better. Let's do it!

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PENOWOK 10/7/2013 9:57AM

    I am totally an completely with you!!! I have had the same thinking!! How do I, clearly an addict to food, change that?? I have had to search-a lot!! A big part of my addiction is sugar yet it's in nearly everything!! Ack!! I can't "clean eat" all the time, for a variety of reasons ... Excuses?? But I do find tracking helps. So I need to go back to the basics and re-lose what I have gained

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    When I was in 7th grade, the teacher Mr. Decato, made this statement during health class. Everything you take into your body is a drug. (water, all foods, medications, air) and all drugs have an effect on your body.
emoticon with it is a lot harder to change your less healthy habits for healthier ones. Changing my eating/exercising habits is a whole lot harder than to stop smoking. Like you said all or nothing is easier than some but different.
Keep WORKing at building your NEW healthier Habits.
You are worth the effort!!!
emoticon emoticon Audra

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PEEKABOO4-KLS 10/7/2013 9:52AM

    could you post a link to your friend's blog on food addiction? thanks.

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The "ME" Project; Week 3

Monday, September 30, 2013

This week's blog is a tough one to write. I really want this blog project to be positive. The big picture in this is for me to be in a more positive frame of mind. I'll try but please recognize that I've just come off of a really bad weekend due to a situation which is not yet over...

Last week started off pretty well. I was able to track and balance food proportions pretty well, until Thursday at which point I decided that food was just too tempting. The sad part of it was that I did think about it before I ate those late night goodies... choices made... I didn't get the workouts in either.

Thursday afternoon, I had a doctors appointment. I was somewhat excited about it because I hadn't been doing too badly and I anticipated a much more positive report from the doc. I was rather slammed when he said some of my numbers were significantly WORSE than before I even started dieting two years ago. Umm... what the heck????? He spent over an hour with me discussing changes to make. While I was pretty ticked off about the results, I feel that he helped me create a plan.

Family crisis interrupted the latter part of the week and weekend. Without going into specific details, my cousin who has been living with our grandmother had a relapse into substance abuse and has taken advantage of Grandma and other family members. The situation was so significant that I had to remove her from the home, essentially making her homeless, as well as turn things over to the authorities. It is a terrible situation that has been time intensive. I do think that the situation, while it continues to be concerning and some time will be required of me, will not be as time consuming during the next few weeks.

Previous thought process again would have been to verbally assault myself for my inability to make things happen. But that's not who I want to be anymore. Must take a different approach. So, new thought is that this gives me yet another chance to meet my short term goal of at least four 20 minute workouts during the week... Four workouts which must include varied activity, intensity, and calorie burn. I think I have it this time. After last week, this one has to be better! I have a plan. Not too tough, right?? Third time's a charm, lol!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOLLYM48 10/3/2013 6:24PM

    Sorry to hear of your family issues. Never easy to deal with.
I am glad you had a long talk with the dr and have a plan in place. At least you are here and taking the steps that you need to take to make it happen!
Hang in there! I hope you have a better week this week!

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BRADMILL2922 10/1/2013 4:21AM

    Sorry to hear about the problems you have had to deal with. Stuff like that can make any plan hard to stick to. I hope that your talk with your doctor can help you out with your plan and keep you going with your "me project". I hope week 4 is much more positive for you!

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    I'm loving the 'me' project you are on and your positive spins. As well as sort out everyone's issues, you also are sorting our your own. Very positive progress regardless of the Dr!

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KOHINOOR2 9/30/2013 11:08PM

    Sorry to hear about the challenges you had to deal with last week you dealt with them as best you could. Now you're ready to move on. you have a plan in ,the will and strength to succeed. Done get discouraged.We all have our ups and downs but as long as we keep our goals in mind we will succeed. Good luck. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/30/2013 7:12PM

    The fact that you keep coming back to blog is a HUGE success. I'm sorry to hear that the blood work wasn't great, and hopefully the advice the doc gave will help. I'm really sorry to hear about everything going on with the family. This is a new week, things are starting to settle, you'll find your groove! Love you!

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JBASKETT63 9/30/2013 1:45PM

    I can understand your week as I have had one of those and it seems to have carried over to this week. Just remember we all have our days/weeks that we don't do as well as we would like but we can also decide to change. You are doing great and I'm here to talk if you ever want to.

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WEEPINGANGEL74 9/30/2013 12:50PM

    Never easy when you have to make difficult choices, particularly when they concern family. This is a new week and you can do this!!

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    You know, we do this one day at a time. You had some bad days dealt to you. You figured out how to manage some tough stuff. You have a new plan. Keep moving forward, reworking the plan as you go. YOU are sooooo worth the effort!

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MYRTROSE 9/30/2013 10:56AM

    What a nightmare family can be. I have a brother that is mentally ill that I've had to cut out of my life. I'm glad you've cut yourself some slack. Even better, you've accepted the challenge again for this coming week. You can do this!

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PATTISTAMPS 9/30/2013 10:07AM

    That is a tough week/weekend! It stinks to have the doc tell you that you are not doing as well as you had thought, and the family crisis is even worse. I know how hard it is, but sometimes tough love is the answer.

and sometimes tough love is the answer for ourselves! Have you done a workout today? What time are you doing it? Put yourself and your health FIRST!!! You can't do for everyone else unless you take care of you.

I hope this is a good week!

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MAWMAW101 9/30/2013 9:58AM

    As a Grandma I am so proud that you stepped in! As someone else said "exercise is a great stress reducer" keep up your "ME" project because you are so worth it!
emoticon emoticon

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PENOWOK 9/30/2013 9:26AM

    My heart aches for you. I know how heartbreaking it is for someone you love and care about to be caught up in the mess of drug abuse! Worse is the damage done to others you love! I am sorry you have to be the heavy. That's not a fun place to be, but critical for the idea of hitting bottom for the abuser. You have done the right things! I'll pray for a better week for you...Hang in there....

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    Wow, you have a lot going on around you. And, I am sure you just shared the tip of the iceberg. So, I pray that you will keep YOU in the top 2 priorities by CHOICE at all times. CHOOSE to do what is right for you and drag the rest of your world along behind you. I know, easier said than done. Otherwise I would be in maintenance mode already rather than still struggling with getting my excess weight misplaced, aka lost.
Pray you have a better week this week.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Audra

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DONNA_VT 9/30/2013 8:04AM

    You are still blogging and still trying . . . .that to me is a positive. Some weeks are harder than others. Fingers crossed for one of the easier ones this week.

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FUNLOVEN 9/30/2013 7:54AM

    Geez, talk about having a full plate! I don't know how anyone could expect to follow a weight loss plan when they have so much else to deal with! I know I couldn't. I am sooo sorry to hear about the situation with your Grandma. Hope this week goes better for you emoticon

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LEESA-B 9/30/2013 7:48AM

  I'm sorry about the family mess - I really hate when that happens in my life. But, exercise is a great stress reducer... emoticon

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BEANIES_MOM 9/30/2013 7:46AM

    emoticon I am sorry you had such a rough week, I hope this week goes better for you. Keep positive.

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