Tuesday, October 02, 2012
I've been telling myself I'm "too busy" to take the time to exercise, eat right, clean the apartment, or sleep well. But that's not true. I just create a mind and space of chaos, which leads to crashing out and wasting time with self-destructive behaviors - like watching three episodes of Lost in a row on finals week. On finals week!
If I can make time to crash, I can make time to PREVENT crashing.
I can do anything in 15 minutes. Read my bible. Wash the dishes. Mop the floor. Sit down and savor a healthy lunch. Take a walk. Do a short workout video. I'm going to utilize the power of 15 minutes and make time for nourishment.
That's my goal for this week. To make time for the extra stuff. Because they're worth it.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
I need to remember that my goal isn't just to survive freshman year, it's to learn to thrive as an independent adult - caring for my body, loving the people around me, excelling in my work, but most of all, glorifying and enjoying God.
So I'm recommitted to sleep. I'm recommitted to eating quality over quantity. I'm recommitted to running/walking every morning, even if it's just for ten minutes.
I have homemade hummus and quinoa in my fridge to kickoff a new week under a new vision. I am romancing food, learning to enjoy the patience of cooking and savor every bite. Then move on to the next adventure, and savor that too.
Okay. College, take two.
I'm done bulimia. I'm done all-nighters. I want to do this right.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
Hey, beauties! Glad to be back to Sparking. College has been a rush. In the past three weeks, I read hundreds of pages (completing at least five books and reading huge chunks of others), ate way too much sugar, went to marvelous parties (the kind with spontaneous worship and swing dancing and goofy ice-breaker games), got a job at McDonald's (oh, the irony), and otherwise crammed enough activity into three weeks to fill three months.
August's top three college life lessons:
1. Snacking while studying = my bane.
2. I don't need to relapse into bulimia to be okay when bad things happen.
3. God will provide. But that doesn't mean life won't get messy.
Even waist-deep in Augustine and Plato and Latin (oh my, I feel sophisticated :P), I'm committed to continuing my journey to a healthy life and a healthy body. So I'm back to tracking and sparking.
My September goals:
Move a little every day.
Reach for the healthier treat.
Don't shrink from hard or inconvenient action.
Don't multitask. When you eat, eat. When you study, study.
Reach for refreshment, not entertainment.
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Oh, I love my spark friends. You guys have made me stick to this longer than I've ever stuck to one plan. This plan is real, and you have helped me feel that. It's messy and slow and challenging, but it's worth it. You have inspired me, encouraged me, released me from guilt. I've loved being a part of your journeys and so treasured that you have been a part of mine. So I'm sad that it's time for me to move away for a while.
For the next step of my journey, I need to step away from SparkPeople for the month of August. I'm beginning to be too obsessed with food, my weight, and exercise. It's starting to feel like the early siren of bulimia instead of a leap into freedom. My mind is consumed by numbers.
I may come back to blog from time to time. But it's time for a break. I've built the tools - awareness of portions, the will to exercise, etc, now I need them to be separated from numbers and incorporated into my heart. I want them to bloom naturally. I don't want my life to be measured out in tablespoons and reps. And I too easily slide into that place with the tools here, especially given my past with disorder.
I love you guys. I hope you still stop by from time to time and read my sparse posts. And when I return, I'll find you out and jump back into your blogs & pages.
Thank you so much for giving me the strength I needed to take this step - and so many others. Keep sparkling!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Today, I almost gave up. I had my going away party today and ate sausage, coleslaw, potato salad, chips, crackers, deviled eggs, smatterings of fattening food that added up to an uncomfortable bulge in my stomach. I started talking myself into a corner, shaming myself, accusing myself.
Then I pulled on my workout clothes and marched downstairs, running through the quick 10 minute workout that kicked off my Sweatsuit to Swimsuit Challenge.
Ooooh, I love exercise. Why do I ever put it off? I feel shiny and relaxed again. Life feels possible. Ten minutes of sweat (hey, our air conditioning broke and it's 90 degrees in here) is all it ever takes.
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