Thursday, June 10, 2010
I just finished signing my son up for swimming lessons and to me, that means summer is finally here. We have begun the busy schedule and craziness of trying to cram all the fun stuff into 3 short months of nice weather. This weekend is going to be the first of many super busy weekends, starting with my birthday tomorrow, driving up north tomorrow night and the Flag Day Parade on Saturday. I hope Sunday brings some relaxation!
But what I am REALLY looking forward to is next weekend. Not because of fathers' day, but because Mom and I are escaping for 2.5 days of geocaching freedom. We are planning to head out Friday evening and not return until Sunday night, going where we want, when we want and doing what we want. No screaming kids, no schedules to keep, husbands to feed. Just us. We will be geocaching til our feet fall off! (if you don't know what geocaching is, check out www.geocaching.com - I call it hiking with a purpose)
In other news, today was my last therapy session for my wrist. After breaking it 3.5 months ago and needing surgery to put it back together, I am almost back to normal. Getting there slowly, but I am getting there. Hopefully the doctor will clear me to start weight training again and I can look forward to doing more at the gym than just cardio. I have almost all of my range of motion back, but have enough to not notice a difference most days. My therapist is impressed with my progress and told me I was a model patient; I am really going to miss her. Sometimes you find kindred spirits in the most unlikely of places.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
With all the convenience foods and drive thrus out there, it has gotten to the point that it is far easier to skip eating all together than to find something healthy. Of course, not eating is not an option, but the frustration level is real. I do NOT crave anything good for me, ever. The only thing that ever sounds good is what, by all accounts, is the nastiest for me. With kids, the drive thru is truly a convenience. Not having to haul anywhere from 2 to 4 children out of the car and herd them into a place to eat is wonderful.
I am an educated person and understand that skipping meals frequently is not a good thing; slow down metabolism, throw your body into 'starvation' mode, blah blah, blah. But when faced with not eating or eating garbage, what do you do? Subways don't have drive thrus or that would be my first stop. I understand WHY they don't have drive thrus but that still makes them more than inconvenient for me.
I have reached the point where most food doesn't even sound good to me. I used to enjoy cooking for my family but have fallen more and more into the trap of simply heating something that was already pre-cooked. Frozen, freeze-dried, dehydrated, whatever. And all of it processed. Non of it truly good or good for me.
I feel myself giving up all over again, but this time I haven't even started. Is that a new record for failure? Failing without even trying? Huh. Have to think on that one for a while.
Monday, June 07, 2010
As my birthday approaches once again, I can't help but reflect on what I have not accomplished in the last year. Still the same fat slug that I used to be, but now I am paying for a gym membership that I don't use often enough. Still unemployed, still in debt, still trying to keep\ my kitchen clean enough to be sanitary. Still.....I some sort of basic satisfaction is missing from my life.
I think I was beginning to make a little progress in this journey, trying to get active, trying to play with my kids, trying to keep the junk food out of the house, but then I feel and broke my wrist. And now 3 months later I have slid right back where I was. Dragging myself to the gym is almost impossible, I am back to heating dinner instead of making it and I am back to desperately trying to keep my weight under 250. My wrist is mostly recovered, though it will never be the same. I have more metal in it than bone and things like lifting weights and yoga are still off the table. But that is only an excuse and I know it. Honestly, I think I was looking for an excuse to stop one.....more.....time....because once again I wasn't seeing results of any kind.
My DH announced last night that this is going to be his month to get healthy. Which means he is going to drop and bunch of weight and I am going to feel bad. He makes it look so easy! But when he is at the gym, I am home with the kids. When he is packing a sensible lunch, I am eating the kids leftovers while standing over the sink. Ugh. I want to be happy for him, but it just makes me feel worse for myself. Guess I am just jealous in the worst possible way. Is that weird?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
So remember how I was LOVING taking ice skating lessons? Best 1/2 hour of my week and all that? Well, I won't be doing that for a while. During my class on March 1 I fell a shattered my right wrist. Spent 8 hours in the ER, had it set twice before finding out surgery was unavoidable. Went into surgery two painful days later and am the proud new owner of 3 plates and several miscellaneous screws. Pain pills have been my best friends for the past week but I am getting better every day. Being forced to use my non-dominate hand has been an interesting experience; even the most mundane things seem to take a lot of planning.
Needless to say, my eating habits have been the last things on my mind lately. But I have had zero appetite so at least I am not gaining either. Did do 40 minutes walking on the treadmill today so I am trying to get back into the swing of things.
That is all I have patience for right now since typing one handed is making me slightly crazy. Wish me luck!
Monday, March 01, 2010
I am going to register my boy for kindergarten today. I am actually feeling sad for me and excited for him all at the same time. He is getting so big! Time really does fly past and it is hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes. I have been so wrapped up in myself lately that I feel really selfish for missing these fleeting moments with my kids. I spend almost every minute of my life with them right now and I spend a lot of that time trying to get away from them, even if it means hiding in the bathroom for a few minutes, There always seems so many other things that need to be done or that I want to do rather than just sitting down and listening to him talk about his life and thoughts and dreams.
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