Tuesday, June 24, 2014
So I haven't blogged in awhile. I am actually blogging because I saw a really sad thing on social media last night that really affected me so I need to get it out. I was looking at a hashtag on instagram. I'm not even sure which one. I don't normally browse instagram, but, last night I came across a really sad account. It's name was "failure at life" with some different characters to make it unique. It immediately grabbed my attention. I clicked on the page and in it's description it said it was a secret account. There isn't anything on it to show who the person actually is or anything. So Im thinking its basically a place for a person to vent true feelings and somehow get support in an anonymous way. There was really sad posts about her weight and other dark things. She had posted a faceless photo of her body and just kept putting herself down. Honestly she did have some weight on her, but, she was not ugly like she hashtagged herself. It was so sad to see how badly she was body shaming herself. It made me realize how truly bad we can be to ourselves. I reached out to her trying to find the right words. Realizing that I have been there. Its not a good place. It's dark.
I struggled for years with this. I have fluctuated between 108 lbs and 170 lbs. Constantly fluctuating between obsessing about losing or just giving up on everything and packing on the pounds. I was obsessed with the number on the scale or my size. Hoping that my size would somehow change how I felt about myself. Looking at this huge "picture" of time I can now see that I felt the exact same way about myself at every size! I remember I was STILL trying to lose weight at 114lbs! Crazy! In the past year or so I've started to accept my size and learn from my journey. I have been fighting with this number on the scale for sooo long! It's like a drug. Seeing the scale go down gives you a huge high. But when it goes up its like a slam into the ground. I may have been in denial about it in the past, but, I've opened my eyes. I understand everyone has their own journey, but, this has been mine. I barely weigh myself. I don't base how I feel on how I look or my size. Sometimes I still catch myself obsessing, but, for the most part I do not let it hold me back anymore. I eat healthy and try to stay active because I feel that I DESERVE to treat myself this way. It is OKAY to love yourself NOW! You don't have to wait until you reach your goal weight. It won't hold you back! You don't have to wait until you are healthy. Love yourself now. Whatever your situation is. Find beauty in your flaws. Celebrate your differences. Treat yourself kindly. Don't diet and exercise just so you can look the way you want to. Do it because you love yourself enough to treat yourself the way you DESERVE to be treated. It's okay to be happy now.
Well, I'm glad to have gotten this out.. I hope everyone has an amazing day! xoxoxo
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Decided to dust off the old scale this morning. Stepped on it somewhat dreading the outcome while it did its thinking. All of a sudden 66 pops on the screen! What!!!! Then realized it was set to kg... LOL
I changed it to lbs and a not as small, but, nice number popped on the screen. 145.5! I have lost 2 lbs! I know that's not an out of this world number considering I haven't weighed in for months, but, I really haven't been actively trying to lose. I have just been focusing on being healthy. So the fact that I have lost weight is huge! I love it! I was not expecting a loss. I was only hoping that I had maintained! So needless to say, I am extremely happy! What a great start to my Mother's Day!!!
Happy Mother's day to everyone! Hope you have an amazing day!!
Saturday, May 10, 2014
I always tell people that its far easier to add good habits into your life then to try to restrict yourself. Rather than say "I am going to stop doing this", try adding something good in. Eat more veggies, drink more water... Exercise 10 minutes... Do some squats everyday... Slowly the good will start to weed out the bad stuff....
Its no secret.... I am horrible with working out. I've been at this for over 3 years and have yet to form any exercise habits. I pretty much have the healthy diet down. Exercise is basically just staying active all day. I try to make it a point to clean my house everyday. Adding in sweeping, mopping, or vacuuming... I am constantly picking up after my husband and daughter. (Do they know where the sink or trash can is?) I also live in a tri level so I am constantly climbing stairs. Also with the new dog, I have to go on a few short walks everyday. But I would really love to get a good habit of actual exercise. Something that really takes an effort. Something that challenges me and makes me feel accomplished. I am really going to try to do squats everyday. Ive been successful with this in the past. Also I have been begging my husband for a treadmill or elliptical for literally years. I truly believe that I would use it daily or atleast a few times a week. I have shows that I like to watch and I think I'd feel so much better exercising while watching them rather than just laying in bed. I also tend to want to munch on something during this time, so exercising would pretty much make that close to impossible.
Well, we shall see. It is Mother's day weekend and I let him go to his brother's bachelor party weekend without one complaint. He's been gone since Thursday morning and won't be home until Sunday night. (The person that set the weekend up is obviously single without children. LOL) Sooo, maybe he will be a little more open to the idea... hmmm....
Friday, May 09, 2014
Tuesday, May 06, 2014
So it's been awhile. I have been doing pretty good though... I am still trying to get in atleast one "green" shake everyday. I have a really nutritious protein shake I use and I usually add lots of leafy greens, shredded carrots, and banana. Sometimes Ill add some different berries and fruits. I am really watching my vitamin and nutrient intake. I started taking a B-complex. I've actually noticed a difference since using it. I also try to get in some sunshine every morning. I read an article on how even 10 minutes of morning sun can really benefit your health. Something about it helping with your natural circadian rhythm. I never really had a hard time sleeping, but, Ive noticed I night I fall asleep a lot quicker. I finished that 2 week cleanse I talked about before. I think it really helped kind of "clean" me out. It was weird the first few days of doing it I would wake up in the morning feeling yucky. Almost like a slight hangover or something. By the 4th or 5th day I was feeling like my old self in the morning though. I think those are just some mild side effects of cleansing. I was far from perfect with my eating during the cleanse though. I did manage to keep up with my water intake though. I would have probably had even greater results had I been a little better in the food dept. Oh well. I think I might try to do a cleanse like that 2-3 times a year. Maybe I will try every 3 months.
I have not weighed myself in months. I don't really care too. My clothes all still fit. Sometimes I feel smaller than usual. The jean shorts from last summer are really baggy on me, so I know I haven't gained any weight. I am trying to be happy with my body. I tend to long and envy the super skinny girls. I am not big, but, I am not super thin. I have curves. I have an extreme hourglass figure. When getting measured for a bridesmaid dress they said my waist and hips are 4 sizes apart... Yikes! I can't always wear what's in fashion because of it. I was born in the wrong era I tell ya. I tend to go for more pin up style dresses anyway. Love that look.
Anyway, just want to give a little update. I may not be on here much, but, I am still slowly chugging along. I am focusing more on being healthy than losing weight. I figure if I can get as healthy as possible and give my body all the nutrients and vitamins it needs, it will work the way it's supposed too. With that being done, I will end up being the size I am supposed to be. Not the size I want to be... (Im hoping they end up being the same eventually)
I am far from perfect, I still have days where I just give into the cravings for bad stuff. But, I feel I make up for it with having amazingly healthy days. I try to have more healthy days than bad days each week. I figure 5-2 is a lot better than 0-7. I also try not to fall into the trap of eating a few bad things and then letting my whole day be junk food. I always try to at least give my body a healthy shake. I also only drink water or tea. I have my morning coffee of course, but, I no longer use sugar in it. I try to stay away from sugar as much as possible. I also try and stay away from gluten. Not entirely, but, its very limited. I try to stay organic with certain things. Milk, eggs, fruits, and veggies. If theres an organic option available I will try to go for it, unless its completely outrageous. Im not rich. If its less than $1 or so difference why not? I figure if Im not buying junk food, sodas and juices I can afford to splurge a little on organic. I've slowly added these good habits over the past few years. If you asked me 2 years ago if I'd give up sugar in my coffee I would have laughed! Its nice to do it slowly.
My dream would be to get into a house and plant my own garden. I would love to have a few fruit trees as well. Wouldn't that be awesome?? I envy people with gardens. My great grandma did, and I loved to visit her and help.
Well Ive been rambling for a while. I hope everyone is having an amazing year so far. Hard to believe its already May! Where does the time go?
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