Finding my way... Day 4 ( starting early)

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Well, after I got off line with the cuties tonight. I started to lay down beside my man. Like I always do. We shared a few words between each other, and he told me. I had him so mad that was going for a walk at mid night last night.

He wasn't mad because my hair cut or the clothes that I had put on the other day. He was mad at me, because I am way to strong and bull headed. And I say what ever come to my mind without thinking. I told him he does the same thing to. Then he said, you can't do what I do. OH!

I said. Then tell me what can I do. He said.. Figure it out. He said.. BOO! You have been in my life for a while now. We met in high school, and I loved you then and I still love you now. No matter what amount of weight you lose. You are going to be the same. Aren't you?

I said. Please tell me where you are heading with this CONV... Please. He said. It's been years since this man from your past has hurt you. I'm not like those other guys. I'm going to say what ever is on my mind, and leave it at that- but you don't leave it alone. You must have the last word, and those words are strong words.

Yeah! I know you workout hard to get in shape. But I don't want you doing it for the wrong damn reasons.. I said.. HUMMMMMMMMMMMM

He said.. WHAT! I said.. HUMMMMMMMMMMM

Don't you get it. Hummmmm.. I'm thinking here..

Then my mind did a quick flash back on what happen, and who called me today while I was shopping for shoes for me and the kids, and here comes the call from one sorry (a$$).. Y'all no the rest.. My ex-husband.. He said. I would like to talk to the kids.. I said.. They are running around looking for shoes. You have to call them back. Then he said.. NO! You have them call me when they aren't so busy.

They called him twice.. No answer from it at all. NOTHING! And it just got back in from sea.. Well, my fiance said to me.. In the store. What in the hell did he want? You and the kids haven't heard from this.. (N) IN Months, and they haven't seen him since last year.. What's up with that? Why is he calling?

He said.... And this was hurtful. Not to hurtful, but hurtful coming from my fiance..

What do he smell you getting stronger or something? Do he know you are doing you, and not worring about him? Do he know you are with me now?

He said.. I just smiled at him and said.. NO ONE IS GOING TO KILL THIS JOY.. In the store.. And I walked off with my head held high.. He said.. Now that was my BOO!

We shopped, once again I got nothing.. ALL for the kids right, only healthy food when we stop to get food, and that was it. He said... You just looked at me and said. No one is going to kill your joy, and that made me so happy- but then again. It made me think. Was I stilling your joy yesterday(Thursday). I said.. It felt like you was trying to control me.

He said...Well, I am so sorry. We both know the rules in this relationship. I know I love you, and will always love you. I judt don't want my baby getting upset. That's all. He said.. I watch you roll out of the bed 4 to 5 days a week to hit the gym. You never go to bed with 500 calories laying around on your belly. You got to burn half you say.. If not all you say. I've watch you drop 5 pounds in 3 days.. And was like. Those damn scales got to be broken, and watch you turn around and binge do to stress.. It's always stress from him.. Tonight... He said... You ate with us. You called it a cheat.. A mini burger, no bun, and some fries.. You call that cheating. Girl, that might have been 600 calories, and maybe 21 grams of fat. With 8 grams of protein..

Like a nut acting all silly with him.. I kissed him on the cheek, and I said.. BOO! You do care.. He said, you log every damn thang you eat. I read behind you to make sure you are eating that many calories.. I hardly see you eat, and when you do eat. It's like a mouse watching every damn thing. Let loose feel free to eat some damn ribs.. I said.. EEWW PORK......

He said. Listen to you.. You have changing in so many ways. I know who you are, but I don't know who is talking to me half the time.. Your eyes change when you get mad.. Your drinking 2 of your meals I know of.. I said. HEY! I snack.. He said.. NON SALT ALMONDS.. Isn't a snack.. Where's the chips? Oh yeah, your 4.99 veggie chips.. And you count those out.. And not only that.. Your yogurts, frozen or fresh fruits, and all this healthy sh*T. Girl, Are you human. Are you really black he said..

My boo.. OMG! He is a mess...

So, I rubbed his tummy.. He said.. Someone has to gain some damn weight in this house.. Why not me..... I said... TOO CUTE.. I looked at him and said.. NO! I am not going to change for you or no-one else. I'm who I am.. Yes.. This weight thing is getting in my head now, because I know I want a healthy heart.. And you aren't to healthy.. With all your illness going on and all, but I love you the same. I'm just changing the out side, and what I put in the inside. So, get this.. I lose a lot of weight.. BETTER SEX.. He hit the floor laughing.. He said.... You lose to much weight.. The sex might go to hell.. Then we will have problems..

He said.. I love you soft.. Don't get to hard? I said.. Soft legs.. HE said.. NO! I like that too, but no.. He said.. I don't want you to get to hard on yourself, me, or the kids.. He said.. This woman... Then he grabbed my cell.. I use my cell to do my pics.. Quicker.. He said.. This woman is HARD CORE! She is a ride or die chick. I want my soft loving healthy, but loving woman.. At all times.. I don't want you mean, and mugging people like you do at the gym. I want you soft and loving.. BUT HARD when you need to be..

Then he said.. I think you want to try me.. YEAH!.. I would like to knock that man out some times, but I won't. He said.. Do you want to get it out your system now? I said. Let me get a few more pounds of lean muscle mass on my a$$, and then I will try you.. He said.. Save those punches for the ex.. I don't need that right hook. I've heard too much about it.. Or those body slams. I don't want no parts of it.

In finding my way (yesterday) Before I laid down for a few to rest. I learned..
The tools you have to lose weight is with you at all times. You don't have to change all of you to get results.. I'm changing inside and out.. My state of mind is stronger, and I want to lock things away and never let them out again. I want to close doors on my past and never re enter them again. I want to lock away all these fears of gaining the weight back. When someone looks at you right in the eye, and tell you.. You don't have to ever cry anymore about the past. I felt like crying.. But I didn't. I held it in. I was touch by his words. I just didn't show it. I'm a cry baby at times.. But this is what he didn't get. For the first time.. He didn't see me cry after he said something nice.

The tough girl in me came out.. I said.. I'm not going to say I want cry any more, but what I will say is this.. I don't feel nothing at all any more. I'm leaving that all in the past. Where I should have left it years ago. I'm going to be 130 in 10 this baby, and I winked at him.. Rolled over, and one tear rolled down and kissed me right on the lips.. A voice came into my head, and it said. A tear of freedom and a right of passage just hit your lips. It wasn't a salty tear, but it was bitter sweet. Maybe it was the soap.. Hell, I don't know.. But that one tear.. Made me feel okay.

Now he's resting like a king, because last night drama got him little sleep.(Thursday)
And here I am.. UP again.. Blogging about it. In a good way.. I'm not even waiting for him to piss me off again.. I will kill it with kindness, and he hates that.. Truly he does..

But, I want let this finding me end now. I just got started, and I am loving it. It's a release of all the bad.. The only good is my kids and him.. And all my family & Internet family..

Good night, Good morning, Good weight loss..

Kisses!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIVARTISTA 3/7/2010 10:13AM

You've come full circle, nena. It's as it should be. We'll talk later. Much love, MOM. Report Inappropriate Comment

Finding my way... Day 3

Friday, March 05, 2010

Last night... I cut my hair, and it felt so great. I cut it into a style that I could live with. Something for me right. I'm living, and I am living out loud. Reloading my life, and now.. Viewing all my options, and how I would like to be viewed myself. I don't have time to play these games. We are now talking. 20 words, but they are better than none. Signed the papers at my laywers office. A new will. I had to put one in place. Just incase something was to happen to me. I have to worry about my kids. Set up there trust funds, and made sure they got the right care.

I'm 32 years old.. And I know.. I should not be thinking like this at an early age. But I am thinking about my kids, and where they will go if something was to happen to me. You never know when your life line is cut short. We are here on limited time. We are not long lasting, so it's about time I start thinking of them and putting them first. There father isn't thinking of there well- being and I am. I must think of it. They have been mines all my life, and I've been here. Taking care of them from A-Z. Me and my family. So, I placed them in the care of my older brother if something was to happen to me at an early age. Not my mother, and I know she is going to want to know why. My mom needs to rest. She's not too old to handle them, but I feel it's best for them to go with Tony and on the weekends with Kevin my younger brother. Both of them have great wives, and I felt that would be the best place for them. Now, my mom does have half with my brother, but I felt this was the best way to do this..

I'm thinking of a lot of things, and I am trying to put a lot of things into place. It's time to start living, and loving my life. Loving who I am, and I am loving me now. No going backwards.. No more. I'm looking up, and I feel so great. I love me.. I love the way I look. I'm in my size 14 jeans, and I am loving it. My skinny jeans.. LOL! But I am loving me.. I am.. I need to do a lot more for myself.

Sunshine..AKA.. BUTTERSCOTCH... I'm going shopping for new gym shoes.. Maybe even a nice pair of ear rings. Going to look for my eyeshadow too.. I think I need to start rewarding myself now for all my hard work.

To all my Caramel Candy Cuties.... Thank you all for having my back. VS.. Thank you for the support and comment on my page.. I'm going to take you up on that offer.. I need someone to call on. HOT C.. Keep it HOT.. I'm ready to spring into summer.. 130 right. Let's get it. C-Apple.. I am so grateful to you.. You have been a cheer leader for the team.. Now it's time to lead a lot of cheers for yourself. Be strong sister.. And keep your head up.. Don't worry.. All is goingto end well. HOT T and BIT-O-HONEY.. You 2 sisters ROCK.. I love the fact that you both are sister, and is doing this together. Stay strong and be each other's back bone. Sweet G... Girl, you keep on dancing, and loving you.. You and Sweet Fudge need to meet up and put in one hell of a workout together. Sweet T... I love the line of work you are in, and all that you do. You are a strong woman, and a great mother, and we need more people like you in this world. Jawbreaker...Get ready to come back home to the states.. I know you got a lot to catch up on when you get home, and I'm sure you are going to do it all within one month, and find a gym to join.. Parlines... Girl.. Keep your head in those books. But don't forget about you.. You need some me time from time to time, and I know you are going to get it. Sweet Fudge, girl you are as cutie as a botton, and sweet and sexy in your own right. You and Sweet G are dancer's and I love that about the both of you. Dancer's in Candy Land. Real dancer's. OMG! I'm going to see y'all names in lights one day. In NYC.. Keep on pushing, and you have a wonderful partner in life. (HUSBAND) I'm thankful that each and every one of you have found your rocks, and your back bone. Just Thankful to be in this lovely group of strong ladies..

I love all my CCC girls, and if I left anyone out. I am so sorry.. I want you to know, that you all are in my heart. I carry each and one of you with me, and I will never forget all the things you all have done for me.

My Spark MOM.. Incase you read.. This is for you. I love you so much. You give me so much insight on life and love. I know you love nature, and so do I and I will be uploading my page with some of my nature walks with your spark grands, and thinking of you. Mom, you are a blessing from heaven, and I want you to stay strong.. I love you to bits..

I love all of you to bits.. And I am still finding my way..
Lynn.. Caramel Candy Cutie.. AKA... KISSES!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIVARTISTA 3/7/2010 10:00AM

Nena, you bring tears to my eyes. I've been reading your blogs and I am soooo proud of you! The revelations and A-ha moments you are having now will stand you in good stead for the future. If you don't understand the importance of yourself you are of no use to anyone else. No, you don't sound selfish. When you're traveling by air, what is one of the emergency directives...if the cabin loses pressure and oxygen is needed, you put the oxygen mask on YOURSELF first. Then your child. The instinct is to service your child first, but you can't help your child if you aren't 100%. You're on the right track. I'm glad you're making arrangements for your kids, my SparkGrands. My grandmother used to say, tomorrow isn't promised to us, every day we wake up is a blessing. And, Lynn, you are a blessing to all who know you. I love you dearly, stay strong. MOM Report Inappropriate Comment

MSJAVA 3/5/2010 3:20PM

AWWWW!!!!! You're so sweet! You picked a great name for yourself. We may inspire you, but you just don't know how much we really do look up to you. So that's right woman, keep ya head up! Muuuaaaaah!!!(Kisses to you, Kisses) Much Love MsJava~Hot Tamale Report Inappropriate Comment

Finding my way part 2 of Day 2.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Well, I'm getting into this blogging my problems pretty good here.. I've been using this as a tool and it's working for me. When I feel like I want to eat something wrong. I just blog it for the world to see, because they could be reaching for something bad, so maybe this blog will help them put it down, or not go and eat something out the way.

Anyway!

I've been breaking down so many walls in the past 2 days. Yes! Breaking them down in 2 days.. And I have over 10 more weeks of breaking it down. 10 more weeks, and I am going to find me within those 10 weeks. I want peace with myself, and why not have it within. And then bring it forward into the light.

I can't keep letting (people) upset me or drive my next binge or break down. I can't let the impossible become my excuses to why I haven't done more for myself. I want let these excuses make who I am. That's why I push myself so hard, because I'm going hard at what I want now. More now than ever. I always give up on myself. Or I reach this stoppin point. We all reach those.. What if moments, and it's time for me- myself to let go of all those what ifs in my life. I keep on saying..

What if this happens..
What if I go back?
All those things cross my mind.. Once a week. Sometimes even twice a week.

But I can't keep on going there.. Down that road. I have to love me..
I have to do this for myself, and I can't keep on doing this for everyone else..

I'm loving me now, and it might take me.. Weeks, Months, Years, to get to where I want to be, but right now.. It starts with finding my way.. It starts with me learning how to deal. I can't go back there.. I can't go back into the past a change a damn thing, but what I can do is..
Start with who I am, and work my way to the top. I've reached record dropping weights before, but that was the past. Now it's time to reach the next record dropping weight loss story, and hold it down..

No more going back..
No more turning back.
This is my time to shine.. I want shine my light for everyone to break it or beat it down. I am doing this for myself, and I will love me.. To the fullest..

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKINROBIN15 3/4/2010 10:02PM

i love it....no turning back now we've gotten this far...i learned that loving yourself first! is the key to growth...we doin it Report Inappropriate Comment

FOR-US 3/4/2010 9:26PM

No more going back.. No more turning back. This is my time to shine.. I want shine my light ... I am doing this for myself, and I will love me.. To the fullest.. yea! The biggest Key here, and you are so right [ I am doing this for myself, and I will love me.. To the fullest.. ] I love the blog,best to you on this road here. Look at the packages a whole and remember to take it one day at a time. MsJ. Report Inappropriate Comment

Finding my way... Day 2.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Last night before bed time. I went in and put in 10 mins of ST on my total gym. Working the lower body area, and it felt so good. I was in my own zone doing me, and no one else was around to mess with my workout. I felt so good about what I was doing. Because, I look at it as.. Doing this for me. Because I am doing this for me. No more saying I wanna do this for (him). I have to do this for myself. I will enjoy the reward of looking better in my clothes, and feeling better about myself. Not him. A man.. In my book.. They don't care about all that you do. They just care about you making them look good..

Hell, make yourself look good for me. I been dressing up here lately too.. Putting on the clothes, doing the make up. Trying to get out of that zone of not doing for myself. Just throwing somehting on, and walking out the door. Now! I'm laying out what I'm going to wear, making sure my make up is right. And my eye shadow is just right. When you have a man.. The type of man I have.. Trying to tell you what to wear.. You get so sick of that crap. Don't wear this, because it shows off too much here. Don't put that on, because it shows off what I got.. You got it.. RIGHT! I'm with you every night. RIGHT!. WHY you trying to control me now.. What's up with that huh? I'm doing all of this for me.. Not for the clothes, but for me. Yeah! I want to look good, and I damn sure in hell don't want to look like an old maid either.

I want to feel sexy.. SEXY! In my own skin. You can't trap me, and you can't get me to cover up like I'm some damn old maid. What is your problem? You should feel good about what you got on your arm, but you ( he) wants to control it. He talks about him looking good, and how the ladies look at him when he shaves and crap, and I can't do this.. I can't do that. I can't wear this, and I can't wear that.. PLEASE! He needs to get out of here with that kinda talk, because I've never disrespected him in anyway. Not in the way I dress or handle myself doing business.. Yeah.. I was on fire this morning.. I went to work @ 7am today, and I had on my outfit.. Looking good in black and red, and all I got was this.. You wearing that. Don't you think the top is cut to low in the front.. The words that came out my mouth when I left for my short work run was..... F-U..

I know my spark mom would be upset at the tone I took with him, and the choice of words.. But this is my life.. I got friends, and I'm not playing house any more.. I did that in 1996 when I got married the first time. Letting someone control my every move. I did that in 2003 when I was with Willie for all those years, and then bam it all ended just like that.. I played those games, but I'm not playing any more games.. This is my life.. My life in the sun shine, and I am looking into my eyes to see what I see. I see myself reflecting back, and I'm a good looking woman who knows where her place is in this life, and I'm a go getter, and I'm going to get everything that is due me..

I don't have to reduce myself to make anyone feel good or love me..

F- that in every way. Just F it.. All my life I've reduced myself.. Yeah, he say all these sweet things. And he is supportive, but now he fears things. Me leaving him.. I can't say it enough, and he can't say it enough. I'm not going anywhere, but this weight has to go. I'm not keeping 30 extra pounds to make you happy and me sad.. NAW! You look good he says. You don't need to lose any more weight he says..

NO! I look good enough to you in your eyes, but what about how I feel. I've yo yo this weight not you. I have to carry this weight. Not you.. I have to control what I eat. NOT YOU! I have to bust my A to not return to 238-256-278-301.. You don't have to do this. I have to do this, and I must live with it.. My choice is to live (MY LIFE) not yours.. BUT MY LIFE...

I hear these ladies in the gym all the time. Saying those things I use to say.. He loves me.. But he wants me to lose a few pounds.. He say, he want marry me until I lose 60 pounds. He say this.. He say that. He say so much.. What about you? What do you say?

I say. I am worth much more than his feeling about my weight. I say. I am worth 130, and I'm going to get it.. F-U and the side of the bed you woke up on. I say.. I'm worth more than these charts, but the charts say. I'm still not healthy, and I know damn well that I am.

Dr says.. LYNN! Your are 5 even.. " 5" Yes I know I am... I under stand that. Your idea weight.. Or in a clean way he put it. Your Idea weight should be 110... Say what! 110.. Well, I'm going for 130 because it's healthy for me.. If I am blessed to lose more after that.. Then I will go for it. But let me reach the first goal weight.. That's 150 again... Let me reach that, and then I will work on 140 and then 130, and maybe.. Just maybe... I might lose another 5 pounds to put me at 125.. But that 110.. I don't see it, and I'm not going to look bad.. You heard me.. That's what I told my doctor.. This is for me.. Not your damn practice.. But me.. I'm doing this for me.. You can help me along the way.. Or I can find someone else.. You can easily be replaced.. Don't get it twisted.. My doctor thinks.. I'm losing my mind now.. NOPE! I just got it back.. Deal with it..

We do so much for others. It's about time we start doing {MORE} for ourselves.. In 2010.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKINROBIN15 3/4/2010 11:21PM

you said it all girl....again Report Inappropriate Comment

LYNN-LOVES-LIFE 3/4/2010 6:18PM

Yes Ma'am.. I hear ya, and I am going to work it.. Bet your last G on that.. I am going to do it for me.. No more fake a$$ drama, and I am not going to buy into that drama.. Giving me the full court press on what I'm doing, and what I'm wearing. I walked out of here this morning smelling good and look right. I didn't do all of that for him. I did this for myself, and when your client tell you.. My new guy.. Girl, you need to dress like you lost 25 pounds in a short time. You need to rock some fashion my sista.. Hearing that from him.. So, I've been rocking some fashion since last saturday, and I'm not looking back. Trying to rush me on getting ready.. HELL, go rush yourself while I brush this dirt off my shoulders.. He said. You have became hard, and disrespectful.. Get over it.. YOU have to earn some RESPECT, and I EARN every RIGHT to be WHO I AM.. Call me what you want to call me, but you better not call me a ----h... You heard me. I'm WORKING IT BABY. Lynn is on point this year.. No more going backwards.. Report Inappropriate Comment

KAJANA 3/4/2010 3:31PM

WOW.. PREACH, LYNN. You said it... DO it for you.. And No One else. I know I'm not trying to look perfect.. BUT I want to look sexy for me. I used always try to out do myself for him.. But I realized that I need to feel sexy within..Looking back at myself in the mirror, and feeling happy That Im doing it..FOR ME..Keep it going, kisses. 130 will be there..And dress up for you..Don't settle for less. YOU BEEN there AND DONE THAT.... YOU ...BET-TA WORKK..(Ru paul VOIce). LOL.. Comment edited on: 3/4/2010 3:32:36 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

Finding my way. The roots of my yo-yo's. DAY 1.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

It's been along time since I open up, and took a deeper look at myself. I feel free and great about myself, and I am trying to understand what is going on in my own life and inside of my own home. Kids going crazy, fiance having his good days and bad ones, and I'm just sticking to my gut and guns, and keeping to myself.

Taking care of me and my 3 and doing what is best for myself.. Trying to rebuild my life from the madness from my past, and moving forward. Not trying to move forward, but moving forward. So many things are going on, and so many things are being unsaid, and it's about time I start to talk up, and let these feeling I have inside of myself go.

I am an emotional eater. It all started after my first child was born. I never ate wrong back then, and I stayed so focus on what went in, and the calories that went out. Sometimes I ask myself.. Where did I go wrong? But the question is.. Why did I go wrong? And why do I feel this way all the time. So after talking to my BFF for over 32 years. Yes, since we were babies, she started to point out things about myself that are good, and the bad, and the ugly on top of that.

We call my skin a blessing. I call my skin issue an problem, I would not wish on no man or no woman that I have every hated in my life. I go on to address those issues from the bad relationships with her, and also go on to talk about how I was feeling during those relationships. Feeling.. Oh, if I lose 40 pounds he would like me more.. Or.. If I would just get down to a size 8 he would stick around.. Or just get rid of this gut. This unwanted belly weight, then just maybe he would find me sexy.

Hell, I'm so sick of all this crap. Searching for excuses, and my reasons to not do what is right for me. I should have been on point from day one.. I should not have to drop baby weight soon after the birth. You all heard the. Give your body time to heal. I didn't give my body time to heal from all that stress. I would pop up and get back on it. Working hard,and breaking a sweat to lose the weight. For what. NOTHING! I would get sick, and he sure didn't care if I lost the weight or not. That was just one more reason to keep his foot on my neck and keep me down. Keep me from reaching a goal or two. Not only that, but to keep me in what he thought was my place. I wanted to be happy and I wanted it to be a happily ever after, but that only rings true when you have someone who wants to be happy with you. Only if you have someone who wants to be happy with you. I don't think I ever looked at my life like this until today. I have, but I never really looked at it.

Lynn, is always trying to make other's happy, but never making herself happy. This is the me I use to be. The woman I don't wanna be any more. I need to make myself happy.

I want to say so bad.. F-That wedding dress and those plans, but I won't. Because I do love him, and I - Get it.. I want to look nice on my wedding court day.. LOL.. I'm not doing this any more to make someone else happy. I'm doing this to make myself happy. I'm working on making my life more than what it already is.. My life has started, and it's not going to get trapped in any more set backs. Set backs of.. Emotional disappointments.. NO! I have to be happy with who I am now.. I no longer have to look back on the past. For what.. It's dead, and it's no more. That was so many years ago, and no one should have that much power over you. NO ONE! The past should not even have that much power over you.

So in finding myway and finding the root of all my yo yo's and set backs.. I've learned..

I'm only one person. ONE!
I can do this with someone or alone.
I'm me, and I am a mother first. No matter what the issues are.. I need to learn to put them first, and then me next.

People do each other, or stress each other out with head games. And I will not fall into another head trap and gain this damn weight back. HELL NO! I want to be happy in my own right, and feel good about myself.

I'm doing this right now. Right today.. And EVERYDAY for the REST of my LIFE.. For LYNN.. No one else. You all know I am doing this for my children too.. BUT AS FAR AS DOING THIS TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY.. I won't do that.. I'm doing this for LYNN.. That's the bottom line here.. Doing this for Lynn, and understanding myself a whole lot better than I do now.

Finding my way... Day 1... That's the first step. I must find my way, and keep on working past each lesson I've learned..

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEVL66 3/4/2010 10:57PM

It took me a long time to get this...it was actually during a bible study on forgiveness. You need to forgive yourself first, then work on forgiving others - get it out of your heart! Report Inappropriate Comment

ROCKINROBIN15 3/4/2010 10:19PM

my eyes always water after reading your blogs....you hit the mark.....sound like me for a bit....keep the great work up..2010 is def your year Report Inappropriate Comment

SUNSHINE_DIME 3/3/2010 9:02PM

That is so true sis. You have to do it for you. I was the same way. Trying to do it for "him", his attention, his love, his whatever. But the weight doesn't stay off that way. You have to want it for you. That way you will maintain it. Proud of you!!! Report Inappropriate Comment