Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Physical attractiveness or personal qualities that arouse others sexually.
Slang. General appeal; power to interest or attract.
Now, I notice my sex appeal "yesterday" around 9pm. Yes, I know the time when I noticed it, and I just started to notice the things that set my fiance off.
1. Me wearing his shirts or PJ bottoms while cleaning the house.
2. The way I sit and cross my legs.
3. How I bust out in laughter and no-one fines what I find funny- funny.
4. When I make myself up- looking more natural and care free.
5. How I rush in and take care of mistakes my children makes.
( Son's bad hair cut #2) Mom comes in like always and saves the day. Giving him the cut he was looking for, and then he goes. MOM! Why did you stop cutting hair? Not my passion "son" not a joy to me.. My fiance. It looks good, I can't believe you fixed that mess. You all should have seen my son.. Plugs here and there. But I fixed it and it looks nice.
I started to notice how I catch him looking at me. Looking at me, as if I was a dream playing in slow motion or something. He goes. You are appealing.
Beautiful in area's, only I know. Now, that was something to hear. Something wonderful. And I heard it loud and clear.
Sex Appeal in a man's eyes can be many things..
But the #1 thing is... how you carry yourself.
I feel good..
My intake today was 1800 calories
My burn was 2791
I feel wonder....
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Earlier this evening, my mother got a call, and the news wasn't so hot.
My mother's older brother has been battling cancer for a year now. Almost and its been liver cancer. The stage was an higher stage, and the removed part of his liver, after that.. He went for treatments. On Tuesday, the doctor stopped all his treatments.. Everyone was saying he was doing well. I don't know what happen, but he has an infection, and a few more tumor's poped up. It's moving very fast, and it's got looking good.. Not looking good for my uncle at all. I'm staying strong and holding up for my mother very well.. But when I rush back to my house.. I cry. I clean when times are rough to keep from stuffing my face with junk. I'm an emotional mess right now, because I haven't seen my uncle since the 4th of july.. Last year, and now all I can think about is.. How many times I could have went up there to see him during my down time.. But my cousin said.. Remember the good times.. So, I'm remembering the kisses he laid on my cheeks.. The smile and the wink. Even him pulling out his fake eye, because he steped on a land mine.. I think that's what you call it.. During the the vietnam war. He use to scare us with that eye when we were kids.. All those things I will miss.. Even getting my first bracelet.. I got it from him a year after my grand mother's passing, and I do not know what happen to it.. I was just a kid.. I'm sure I lossed it, but I do remember it.. Telling my mom all about it, and she didn't remember it at all.. She's going to look for it in her things just incase she put it up. Right now, all I can do is pray for a peaceful home going for him. Be at peace with all he has done in his life, and to be thankful for all he has shared with me as a child and a young adult woman.. I'm just so so right now.. That's all I can be.. Is so so.. I can remember the last time I saw him.. GIRL! you have lost some weight.. You looking good.. I'm going to carry that with me.. For the rest of my life.. My uncle as you all know has my heart, and will always have it.. I just pray that things turn around, but at this rate.. GOD is NOW in CONTROL...
Saturday, May 14, 2011
ALL WOMEN HAS WHAT WE SET UP AS GOALS, WHEN WE STARTS A WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY.
WHEN WE START THIS JOURNEY- WE CUT OUT THE GOODS TO GET RID OF THE BAD. THE WEIGHT WE GAINED OVER THE YEARS AND MONTHS.
THE WEIGHT WE GAINED WITH CHILD BIRTH, EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS, OR DAY TO DAY LIVING. WE MOVE IN SLOW MOTION WITH NO GUSTO AT ALL. WE ARE SET ON ONE SPEED, ONE CYCLE AND THAT CYCLE CAN BECOME A REPEATED CYCLE THROUGHOUT LIFE.
I, FOR ONE, GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE DRAMA OF WEIGHT GAIN AND LOSS OVER THE YEARS. I GET TO MY GOAL OR CLOSE TO MY GOAL, AND I GO. "OH THE HELL WITH THIS" I'M FEELING THESE JEANS. I FEEL GREAT! AND YOU KNOW WHAT. I TAKE THE BACK SEAT TO EVERYTHING. I GO BACK TO OLD HABITS, AND FORGET THE JOURNEY I ONCE WAS ON, BECAUSE IN MY MIND... I'M GETTING ALL THE THINGS THE SKINNY GIRL GETS. THE LOOKS, THE DOUBLE TAKES, AND THE COMPLIMENTS, EVEN THE.... (CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER PRETTY LADY)
YEAH, WEIGHT LOSS, JUST A LITTLE CAN GIVE YOU THE BIG HEAD. AND THE BIG HEAD ALSO CAN LAND YOU IN TROUBLE.
I KNOW, I DONE SOME CRAZY THINGS. THINGS I COULD NOT STICK WITH. LIKE THOSE FAD FAST DIETS.. AND WE ALL KNOW.. DIET IS A WAY OF LIFE, BUT WHEN WE CAN'T BALANCE THAT DIET OR HOW THE WAY OUR LIVES ROLL.. WE TEND TO GET IN TROUBLE. EVEN ARE SMALL GOALS BECAUSE THEY CAN BECOME UNREALISTIC MEASURE WE CAN'T MEASURE UP TO. WE CAN, BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT IN A TIMELY FASHION. A TIMELY FASHION IS NEVER MEASURED, BUT WE CAN'T SEE THE TIMELY FASHION, BECAUSE WE ALREADY PLACE THIS PRIZE AS THE NUMBER 1 REWARD, FORGETING THAT THE REWARD IS OURSELVES AND LIVING A HEALTHIER LIFE.
I HAVE GOALS... I WANT TO SLIDE INTO A PAIR OF APPLE BOTTOM JEANS
I WOULD LOVE TO WEAR SOMETHING SEXY TO BED, AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS ROLL HERE AND THAT LUMP THERE.
LOOK OUT FREDERICKS OF HOLLYWOOD.. WHEN I SLIM DOWN, I'M COMING TO YOU.. ASAP! I WOULD LOVE TO WEAR SEXY UNDERWEAR I DO NOW, BUT AT TIMES I DO GET EMBARRASSED WHEN MY FIANCE SEES ME IN THEM. IT JUST DON'T SIT WELL WITH ME, AND HE DOES NOT CARE FOR GRANNY PANTIES.. ASKING ME, ARE YOU ON. IF I GO NO, THEN HE GOES.. WHY ARE YOU IN THEM? MEN! I'M TELLING YOU THIS THING CAN BECOME AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER. A RIDE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.
OH, AND I CAN'T FORGET HOW BADLY I WOULD LOVE TO SLIDE INTO A BLACK DRESS WITH A POP OF COLOR.. WEARING A SPORTY PAIR OF STILETTO'S HELL, I WOULD TRADE IN SNEAKER'S FOR A PAIR OF HEELS ANY DAY AND THE YOGA PANTS FOR A NICE DRESS AND A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN FEELING GOOD, AND FULL OF MYSELF, BUT THE ATTITUDE TO PULL IT OFF AT THIS WEIGHT ISN'T FULLY THERE YET.. MENTALLY I FEEL IT, BUT THEN AGAIN.. IT'S A CHALLENGE... MY APPEARANCE ISN'T WHERE I WOULD LIKE IT TO BE, AND I HAVE BEEN DEPRIVING MYSELF...
MY DIET FOR ONE IS CRAZY, AND I'M STRUGGLING TO GET TO MY GOAL WEIGHT.. BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD BY MY FRIENDS AND TRAINERS.. IF YOU WANT IT HAVE IT.. LIKE CAKE
JUST THAT GOOD OLE JUNK FOOD...
CHEESE BURGER'S & FRIES.. I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ALL OF THAT. MY TRAINER'S ADVICE WAS, YOU SHOULD HAVE IT AND JUST STAY ACTIVE.. SHE GOES.. I LOVE FOOD AND MY LIFE IS 80% GOOD FOOD AND 20% FREEDOM FOODS.. I WORK HARD AND DAMMIT I'VE EARNED THE RIGHT TO HAVE WHAT EVER IT IS I WANT.. SHE ALSO TOLD ME.. WE ARE LIKE CLAY, WE CAN SHAPE IT ANY WAY WE LIKE ANY SHAPE AND SIZE.. OUR BONES HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CLOTHES WE WEAR OR THE SHAPE OF OUR OUTER BODY.. IT'S ALL ABOUT CHANGING THOSE MUSCLES AND BEING ACTIVE. AND BEING PRO-ACTIVE ABOUT IT. GREAT ADVICE TOUGH WORDS TO CHEW, BUT I'M CHEWING IT WELL.. I LIKE TO THINK.. KELLY GOES.. OPRAH HAS ALL THE BILLIONS IN THE WORLD, BUT SHE CAN'T STAY THIN. IT'S A MENTAL MIND SET, AND WHEN YOU START TO DERIVE YOURSELF YOU END UP GOING BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS WITH THIS WEIGHT LOSS GAME.. IF YOU WANT TO GO FORWARD, YOU HAVE TO BE FORWARD WITH YOUR THINKING, AND HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT AND DO ANYTHING YOU WANT WITHOUT GUILT OR WORRIES.
I DO NOT HAVE AMBER ROSE ATTITUDE.
I CAN'T AFFORD TO RESHAPE AND ADD BODY PARTS "BOOB'S LIKE LIL' KIM
I DON'T HAVE AN ISSUE WITH MY NOSE, LIPS, OR BOOBS. I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH GETTING TO WHERE I WANNA BE, BUT IT'S OKAY.. I'M HUMAN AND I WILL NO LONGER STRUGGLE WITH THE ISSUES OF LOSING WEIGHT.
THE BEST ADVICE THAT WAS EVER GIVING TO ME WAS THIS..
YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN AS YOU GO. YOU DON'T LEARN OVER NIGHT YOU LEARN OVER TIME AND AS YOU LEARN YOU GROW AS WELL~ MOM
WE ALL HAVE GOALS IN MIND AND ISSUES WITH GETTING THERE, BUT WE DO GET THERE.. I KNOW.. IT'S A KNOWN FACT.. JUST CHECK OUT THESE WONDERFUL SPARKER'S AND SEE HOW THEY DID IT.. LEARN AND GROW...
BECAUSE I REALLY DO BELIEVE.. I CAN DO THIS, AND BE GREAT AT IT. I JUST HAVE TO STOP LOOKING AT THE TIME LINE, AND TAKE MY TIME IN GETTING THERE.... ALSO, WHEN I GET THERE.. I HAVE TO REMEMBER NOT TO STOP. I ALWAYS STOP AT SOME POINT, AND WHEN I DO.. EVERYTHING GOES SLIDING DOWN HILL. NOW, I'M BACK AT IT TRYING TO CLIMB THAT GREAT MOUNTAIN TO REACH THE TOP AND PLACE MY FLAG OF ACHIEVEMENT.
BUT EVERY WOMAN, AND I DO MEAN.... EVERY WOMAN HAS AN ISSUE WITH GETTING THERE... EVERY SATURDAY I WEIGH MYSELF, AND I THINK THE SCALES SHOULD JUST SAY.. YOU AREN'T THERE YET.. NO WERE NEAR IT, BUT IT DON'T. IT JUST LAY A NUMBER ON ME, AND I GO ON WITH MY DAY..
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BECOME EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS..
I CAN'T! I CAN ONLY GROW AND MOVE FORWARD... SO I CAN GET THERE TOO..
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