Wednesday, May 04, 2011
WELL, AS YOU ALL KNOW. I'M A MOTHER OF 3, BUT THAT WAS NOT THE MAIN REASON WHY I STARTED TO CHANGE MY HABITS.
I STARTED TO CHANGE MY HABITS AFTER MY MOTHER CAME INTO MY ROOM AND TOLD ME..... "she had been approved to get the gastric bypass"
ANYWAY SHE ASKED ME.. IT WASN'T ASKING. IT WAS A PROMISE.
"will you promise me you'll get your act together and lose weight? i do not want to leave you behind....... me looking all slim and healthy and you looking unhealthy, fat, and out of shape. i will not do this if you don't promise me.
SO LIKE A GOOD DAUGHTER.... I MADE A PROMISE I KNEW I COULD NOT KEEP JUST SO MY MOTHER WOULD GO AHEAD AND HAVE WHAT SHE WANTED ALL HER LIFE SINCE HER LATE 20'S.. TO BE MEDIUM SIZE AGAIN. THAT'S WHAT SHE CALLS IT. MEDIUM SIZE.... NOT SLIM, SKINNY, JUST MEDIUM SIZE.
SO HERE I STAND AT 246 IN 03 AFTER MEETING UP WITH MY FRIEND TO PICK UP MY KIDS AFTER MY FIRST GYM TOUR, MEETING, MEASUREMENTS, AND WORKOUT.
I LOST A GOOD AMOUNT OF WEIGHT. I DIDN'T KEEP TRACK OF IT WITH PHOTOS OR NOTHING, BUT I CAN RECALL HOW UPSET I WAS AT MYSELF BECAUSE.. I WENT ON AND STUDIED PHYSICAL EDUCATION AND ALSO NUTRITION WITH A FRIEND OF MINES "LISA", BECAUSE IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM TO BE A GREAT TRACK COACH OR GRADE SCHOOL PE TEACHER OR TO EVEN DESIGN A DIET THAT WOULD HELP THE BLACK CHIC'.. I KNEW EVERYTHING AND I MEAN.... I KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS AND HOW TO LOSE THE WEIGHT.
I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO APPLY MYSELF. I COULD GUIDE ANY ONE ELSE, BUT I COULD NOT FOLLOW MY OWN GUIDE LINES IN ORDER TO HELP MYSELF. I WAS THE ONE TELLING MY MOTHER. YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS, EAT THAT, EAT PAST THIS TIME, AND NOW I WAS THE ONE TELLING MYSELF. I SHOULD NOT DO THIS, EAT THAT, EAT PAST THIS TIME, AND THAT WAS A MUD SLIDE.. AND I MEAN A MUD SLIDE. EVERY TIME I WOULD GO ON A "DIET" I WOULD CRASH AND BURN BEFORE I GOT GOING GOOD. IT TOOK YEARS TO GET MY BALANCE, BUT AS SOON AS I FOUND IT.. THERE WAS NO STOPPING ME.. I WAS GOING UP AND IF I DID ROLL BACK.. I KNEW HOW TO GET BACK UP AGAIN. AND AGAIN I DID GO..
IN 07 MY FATHER HAD A HEART ATTACK. THAT WAS THE DAY MY FATHER MADE ME PROMISE HIM I WOULD GET A HANDLE ON MY LIFE. I HAD THESE 3 CHILDREN TO RAISE ON MY OWN, AND HE FELT I SHOULD GET MY LIFE IN ORDER. HE SAID.. ME AND YOUR MOM SPENT $$$ ON THAT EDUCATION, AND I FEEL YOU SHOULD PUT ALL OF THAT GOOD INFORMATION TO GOOD USE. HE SAID, YOU RUN HERE AND THERE, AND YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR YOURSELF. IF I MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ROOM ALIVE.. I PROMISE YOU, YOU'LL GET YOUR LIFE BACK. AGAIN I START AT 217 AND I BEEN HITTING THE HAMMER ON THE HEAD EVER SINCE.. HERE I AM AT 150 POUNDS A YEAR LATER AFTER THE PROMISE MY FATHER MADE TO ME.
AND I PROMISE YOU.. I DID SLOWLY GAIN THAT WEIGHT BACK IN 09. GOING INTO 2010 AT 177 POUNDS.. YUK!
YOU CAN SEE HERE THIS GIRL.... ME IS NOT PROUD AT ALL OF HERSELF.. LIKE I WAS IN MY 150 PHOTO.... BUT THIS IS ALL REAL TALK...YOU BATTLE WITH YOURSELF, YOU KEEP AFTER YOUR GOALS, AND YOU KEEP ON HITTING RESET. I KNOW I DO... AND I DO IT EVERY WEEK NOW.. I SIT DOWN AND I PLAN AHEAD. SOMETIMES MY PLANS DON'T GO AS WELL AS I WOULD LIKE, BUT THIS IS ALL PART OF HABIT CHANGING TO ME.
I EAT DIFFERENTLY THAN BEFORE..
IT'S SMOOTHIES THIS. FRESH FRUITS, FROZEN FRUITS, VEGGIES & WHEY PROTEIN.. CLEAN EATING... IN THE PAST.. IT WAS BROWN BAG IT, DRIVE THUR AND DRIVE WITH ONE HAND ON THE WHEEL AND EAT ON THE WAY HOME.. NOW, IF I CAN'T SIT DOWN AND ENJOY IT.. I DON'T WANT IT.. BECAUSE ONCE THAT FAST FOOD IS COLD.. YOU CAN CALL IT QUITS ON THE EATS.. TO BE HONEST WITH YOU... IT JUST DON'T TASTE AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT IT DID. THAT AGAIN WAS A HABIT CHANGING MOMENT FOR ME.. KILLING THOSE TASTE BUDS AND HUNGER'S FOR THAT BS...
WHY DID I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HABITS, AND TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT.
WELL, I WANTED TO BE PROUD OF MYSELF.. I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER PROMISE TO SOMEONE ELSE AFTER THE LAST BACK SLIDE IN 10. REALLY 09 AFTER A BAD BREAK UP. I DIDN'T WANT TO REGAIN ALL THE ISSUES THAT LEAD ME DOWN THAT WEIGHT GAINING ROAD. I WANTED TO BE STRONG, AND TO BE STRONGER IN MY MENTAL STATE MORE THAN MY PHYSICAL STATE.
AND I FEEL I AM STRONGER NOW IN BOTH AREAS..
NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE CAN TAKE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF FROM ME NOW.. IT'S A PHYSICAL HARDSHIP ON YOUR BODY...
MENTALLY AND PHYSICAL, BUT YOU DO YOUR BEST.
YOU EDUCATE YOURSELF ON YOUR PERSONAL UPS AND DOWNS..
YOU PICK UP AND YOU DUST YOURSELF RIGHT OFF.. AND I HAVE DONE IT A ZILLION TIMES.. I FEEL I'VE FOUND OUT MORE AND MORE ABOUT MYSELF PERSONALLY WITH EVERY DUSTING OFF.. AND THE MORE I CHANGE MY HABITS.. THE STRONGER I GET.. BECAUSE THIS IS A MENTAL ISSUE. IT'S ALL MENTAL, AND WHEN YOU START TO SEE THE MENTAL ISSUE THAT TRAPS YOU AT 100++ OR 200++ POUNDS, YOU START TO SEE YOURSELF AND YOUR MISSION CLEARLY.. THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HABITS, BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE MYSELF PAST THE UPS AND DOWNS OF THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME. I WANTED TO SEE MY CHILDREN'S FUTURES UNFOLD BEFORE MY VERY EYES, AND I WANTED TO ALSO SEE MYSELF CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.. THAT'S WHY... I DID ALL OF THIS FOR THOSE 3 KIDDOS I LOVE TO BITS... I DID IT FOR THEM.. TO GIVE THEM A MOTHER FOR AS LONG AS THEY NEED ME.. THAT'S WHY I DID IT... I CHANGED MY HABITS FOR THE LONG RUN NOT THE SHORT RUN.. NOT THE SHORT PROMISE TO GET SOMEONE ELSE GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.. I DID THIS BECAUSE I PROMISE MYSELF THIS.. I OWE MYSELF THIS MUCH.. I OWE IT TO MYSELF TO LIVE RIGHT AND TO LEAD A BETTER LIFE FOR MY CHILDREN..
EDIT TO ADD:
I CHANGED MY HABITS BECAUSE... I GOT SO SICK AND TIRED OF THE YO YO CYCLES. I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR A LONG TIME. AND WHEN I SAY LONG.. I MEAN LONG TIME. I'M SLOWLY CHANGING.. INSIDE AND OUT, BUT MOST OF ALL.. MY MIND SET ON DOING THIS IS CHANGING.
I CAN'T GO ON AND SAY.
I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE MY BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF GOD.
EVERYONE WASN'T SKINNY - I'M SURE IT WAS SOME HEALTHY, AND I MEAN HEALTHY PEOPLE WALKING AROUND IN THOSE DAYS.
I CAN'T GO ON AND SAY.
I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE OF A "DAY" THE DAY, BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT A DAY OR A TIME FRAME WITH ME ANY MORE.
I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO BE AROUND TO SEE ANOTHER DAY.
I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO BE ROCKING MY "FIRST" GRAND BABY WHEN SHE OR HE IS BORN INTO THIS WORLD.
I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO GROW OLD WITH MY "SOON TO BE HUSBAND".
I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO BE SIMPLY JUST ME AND HEALTHY IN MY OWN SKIN.
BUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE...
IS THE FEELING OF.
I STOPPED IT..
AND I DIDN'T RUN AROUND CRAZY LOSING MY MIND, PLAYING A GAMEWITH MYSELF.
I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HABITS WHEN MY HEALTH STARTED TO TAKE ON UNWELCOME CONDITIONS...
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
WELL, GOD TAKE CARE OF ALL HIS CHILDREN..
I CAN SAY.. I'M TRULY BLESSED AFTER THIS PAST WEDNESDAY STORMS AND TORNADO'S, WINDS AND SO MUCH MORE.
MY CHILDREN ARE GOOD.. MY FIANCÉ IS GOOD, AND CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE A HOT SHOWER TONIGHT. WE HAVE BEEN ROUGHING IT.. WE HAD BBQ'S FOR 3 DAYS.. IT WASN'T FOR LONG WE GOT SICK OF THAT.. BUT YOU DO GOT TO EAT.. I TOLD MY FIANCÉ... AS SOON AS THE POWER COMES BACK UP. I FOR ONE WAS GOING TO BLEND ME A SMOOTHIE.. WELL, EVERYTHING WENT BAD. NOT MY WHEY.. BUT THE MILK, FROZEN FRUITS, AND SOME VEGGIES I HAD..I JUST HAD TO TOSS IT ALL OUT. DIDN'T WANT TO GET SICK BEHIND WHAT EVER DRIPPED DOWN ON IT FROM THE FRIDGE..
ANYWAY... WHILE THE POWER WAS OFF.. ME.. GOOD OLE ME STARTED TO WORK ON MY HOUSE.. I WAS WORKING ON THE WALLS, AND TAKING THIS UGLY TRIM OFF MY WALLS.. NOTHING TO DO.. GETTING READY TO REMODEL MY HOME, AND HAS BEEN WORKING ON THAT FOR THE PAST 2 WEEKS NOW..
I ALSO BEEN RUNNING IN AND OUT OF CLIENTS HOUSE, AND TAKING CARE OF 1 THE MOST. TAKING HIM HOT MEALS TWICE A DAY AND MAKING SURE HE TAKES HIS MEDS.... ALL AND ALL.. WE ARE BLESSED HERE IN ALABAMA..
THEY SAY WE DIDN'T GET A TORNADO HERE.. THOSE WHO ARE GOOD WEATHER MEN ON THE SIDE, BUT I'M WITH THE FIRE MAN.. WE HAD SOMETHING HIT US AND IT SURE IN HELL WASN'T HIGH WINDS.. IT WAS A BABY TORNADO.. AND I'M STICKING WITH IT..
BUT I AM A~O~K! BLESSED TO BE HERE..
THANKS YOU GODBABYGAL FOR THE CALL'S..
SWEETLIPS & SUNSHINE-DIME.. THANK YOU FOR LETTING EVERYONE KNOW I'M GOOD, AND ADDING MY WEIGH N NUMBER'S FOR ME..
I GAINED SOME WEIGHT, BUT LOOK AT MY WEEK.. I WAS LIVING OFF PROCESSED JUNK HALF THE TIME, AND I HAD SOME FRUIT, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THE BEST DIET THIS WEEK.. THURS-SUN HAS BEEN ALL JUNK WITH SOME FRESH FRUITS..
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Today I went to the doctor. I wasn't planning on going, but after DF brought his case before my friend and mother, I went on in with him anyway. I didn't want to go, but after his early morning scare with me. It was best that I went to please him. BP low and BS low.. Those things was off the rocker again, and I have not been walking, and I haven't juiced in a week and a half so none of that has anything to do with what's going on with me. Well, I'm on some more vitamins and she knows I'm all about natural healing and medicine. I do not want to pump my body full of nonsense when she can advice me to take some meds I can get at the health food store. So, I'm on Calcium, magnesium, and zinc.
Calcium, magnesium, and zinc are three of the most important minerals the body needs to gain and maintain good health. Calcium and magnesium help maintain healthy bones while zinc is essential for cell division and growth. Zinc is an essential element needed to support the body's immune system.
My immune system is fighting me right now, and everything is going haywire in some ways, but I'm not stressing it. I felt light headed yesterday and today. I had cold sweats all night long, and I just felt as if I was on cloud nine most of the time, so to bring me back to earth. I have to take this combo 2 times a day w a meal.. Since I don't have enough of these things in my day to day diet.. She thinks this will help with putting me back on track. As soon as I took my after noon dose.. I started to feel better.. Balance in away.
The fresh air from outside was doing me some good too.. I kept on going out for fresh air, and my fiance had to go to work, and he didn't want to leave me home alone. My mother on the other hand was worried about me. I wanted to go walking, but as long as I had that light headed feeling.. We wasn't going to walk any where, I can understand her reasons.. I did give her and DF a scare this morning with the sweats and me not coming down with a cold. I'm going to bounce back.. It's just a time frame on getting back in the saddle.. I think I did too much last week, and my doctor said.. NO! I didn't do too much.. It's just how the body reacts.
Mines just has a mind of it's own..
Like I said before..
When you start to fix one thing, other stuff comes out the wood work.
POOR diet you get sick.. GOOD diet you get sick..
Right now... I'm so, so, confused..
My thyroid is good. That's what counts the most.
13 hrs of HRM wear.. 972.. Yeah, that's low. My metabolism is shot..
60 mins of cooking dinner..
Calories in 1580
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
"Sugar and spice and everything so nice"
That's what we are, that's who we are. Sugar, because we are so sweey, and spice because we do have a little of temper about us and nice, when we need to be.
So many thoughts circled around in my head today. I was trying to control the issue at hand, but I can't control everything.
My weight is holding out, and that's a good feeling. I did work hard to push it behind me. These feelings do not get a chance to take over. They just run around in my head like normal thoughts.
Sometimes, I do want to cave in. I don't want to give up. I just want to sink into those thoughts. Those thoughts of what if, and where I plan on going after this. They always lock on and take hold of me, but like I said before. I shake those things off. It's all about girl power and where I plan on taking myself.
We all have to follow a road map at times.
Sometimes that road might lead us east or west, but we get there don't we.
We often travel north and south, and you know what I mean about north and south. Weight going up, weight going down, but it does it's around and about with us.
It's all about girl power now.
Today.. I burned 603 just cleaning up my house for and hour and 30 mins.
I also did a little zumba, and I think I can get the hang of this.
OH! And the yoga.. Kids knocking on the door... They just wanted some love and I open the door and I did let them come in. Wondering where DF was, and when he was coming home. After hours of waiting for his return from a long day of work.
I got a hot shower, put in cast away, and said to myself.
Everythings I do must be a girl power movement. No more MEN RULE or MEN ROCK..
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