LYNDSAY81283  
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Yesterday's Appointment

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This afternoon I had a scheduled appointment for a consult on getting smart lipo. First off I haven't lost one pound since being on sparkpeople, working out religiously, and eating healthy which is just frustrating and reaffirmed why I was having a consult on getting smart lipo. It's going to cost me $3,000.00 to do my arms in inner thighs, $5,000.00 if I decide to do my abdomen as well. I felt so shallow and a bit disappointed in myself that it had come to this; lipo, but when I saw that I still haven't lost a single pound I was almost happy that I was there. I don't honestly want to spend the money and I honestly don't want the surgery, but I hate being down on myself, I hate wearing long sleeve shirts in 100 degree weather because I am so insecure about my jiggly arms, and hate getting anxiety over putting on a bathing suit, but I can't get rid of this loose fat... I know it's from going up and down in my weight and I know there is some nice muscle underneath it all, but it seems like nothing I do will get rid of it. Am I doing something wrong? If so, what? And should i take this money and use towards a trainer and maybe just maybe it is something I'm doing wrong or should I get the lipo so I can feel more positive and continue to live my life with eating healthy and exercising?....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SATELLITE19 8/4/2009 5:36PM

    Hey just saw your blog. It's definately your decision to make but truly think about it. Thats a lot of money unless you're crazy rich. Being patient isnt easy but sometimes thats all it takes and you'll see a difference. What is your work out routine exactly and are you eating right. Anything I can do to help I will. Do whats right for you. Neither answer is wrong.

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AMANDA_MS_RD 7/16/2009 2:18PM

    I understand your frustration. It sucks to not see any changes when you are putting in a lot of effort. I would be curious to see how many calories you are eating daily. Sometimes, when you diet too often and restrict your calories too much, your body can go into a "starvation mode" and conserve calories where it can so it is only burning as much as you are feeding it. It may be that you need to increase your calories so gain your body's trust and take it out of the starvation mode, and bring your metabolism back to where it should be. I would recommend taking the money that you would use for the surgery and find a good dietitian who can work with you.

I wish you luck in whatever path you choose. emoticon You'll get there.

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MAKEUPMEDIA 7/16/2009 12:31PM

    Is Dr. Gagliardi the MD who is doing this smart lipo? I have heard his advertisements on Fun 107. Anyway, It's a lot of money. But it sounds like it bothers you very much. I mean, here I am 4'11" 200 # and I show my arms off all the time. But, I do relate to how it makes you feel. My 80# extra remind me everyday!

Good luck! Keep me posted.

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CATE195 7/16/2009 12:14PM

    I do not know very much about smart lipo, but I think you really need to get all the medical advice you can before making your final decision. Have you talked to your own doctor? If after that you decide to go with the lipo, then do it and don't be ashamed.

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DOUBLEKNOCK 7/15/2009 9:29AM

  I have been in your shoes. I actually drove 5 hours to NJ several years ago for lipo. It was going to be $6000.00 to get what I wanted done. Also the doctor told me that i'd get better results if i could lose 40 lbs first! I felt SO deflated. I did LOTS of thinking on my long drive home and decided lipo was not the way to go. I'm SOOO glad I didn't do it too! I'm still fat and still need to lose 50 lbs, but to me the whole lipo thing seems like "cheating" for lack of a better term...that and I didn't want to be known as that girl that got lipo.

I have good muscling under my fat...I know I do. I just need to commit to eating better and not cheating with SWEETS all the time and the jiggly stuff WILL go away...i just know it!

BTW...I'd love to look like you do. :)

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Not giving up

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Okay, so I had lost 5 lbs finally about two weeks ago and then yesterday I weigh myself at the gym and the 5 lbs is back!! It was so heart breaking, but I'm promising myself that I'm not going to give up no matter what. I just can't figure out what I'm doing so wrong though... I know that the last two weekends I have gone out and had a few drinks and probably ate a little too much, but I hit the gym hard and I eat pretty good... I hate being so consumed in what I look like, food intake and exercise. I just wish that it didn't have to always be like this. It really feels like I can't have a cheat meal or a couple drinks without all my hard work flying out the window. Just venting some of my frustrations because I know a lot of you understand what its like. I know I can't give up though because I know this feeling will get even worse if I do. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it. Thanks! ~Lyndsay

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLELUIA525 6/2/2009 2:14PM

    A couple things came to mind when I read your blog...

1. Don't weigh in on Mondays. You don't want to weigh in after your "cheat" days.

2. Keep your calories on the low end of your range at least 2 days before your "cheat" day.

3. Keep your "cheating" within reason. I try to stay on the high end of my calorie range...and definitely try not to go over by more than 100 calories.

4. Finally, it may be time to change your mindset. The idea of cheating brings guilt. There is no cheating when you realize that this is a lifestyle journey and not a diet. If you are going to do this for the rest of your life, then you need to figure out how to give yourself permission to eat/drink the things you enjoy within reason. Everything in moderation!

Best wishes on this lifestyle journey!

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So Fustrated

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Here goes... The last couple weeks I haven't gone to the gym between packing, moving, cleaning, work, school, etc. I've felt like I've had literally no time to myself, time, for the gym, time for cooking and it's making so depressed not too mention I haven't been feeling very well being stressed out makes my IBS spiral out of control... Then to top it all off I went to the doctors yesterday and once again my weight has fluctuated a pretty significant amount since just 3 weeks ago, it's crazy I know I haven't been going to the gym, but it's insane I swear unless I'm on a strict diet and am working out hard 5-6 days a week I can't even maintain my weight. What is wrong with me??!! It's so frustrating, I feel like crying. I don't know what to do anymore... Automatically I start telling myself if I can just eat like 500 calories a day for the next week or so along with some exercising the weight will come off or then I think about getting liposmart... I know this isn't right or healthy, but they are literally the first things that start running through my head. Why do I beat myself up so badly especially knowing full well I'm torturing myself with these thoughts and feelings? I found myself just staring in the mirror last night and this morning feeling completely disgusted... I don't know what to do... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALIKAT421 2/12/2009 2:20PM

    Hey, I must say that I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I haven't been working out for weeks also. Just so you know, it's not "you" really, IBS tends to make things so much harder for us. It's harder to lose weight because our systems run A LOT slower than most others. And besides that, stress causes even more problems. I just created a spark team the other day "Fight the Stress" because I couldn't find and teams that were really focused around that. Stress alone can cause many MANY health problems, but when you add it to already existent health issues, it feels like all of those things take control of our actions (what we eat, how long we sleep, whether we work out or not,...etc). I would love for you to join the team, there are not many people at the moment, but I've been working to find a bunch of stress relief articles and exercises. I have a blog that is actually very similar to yours today... seems like we have a lot in common!

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LKG9999 2/12/2009 12:27PM

    Lyndsay,

Moving is HARD. I know - I've done it *twice* in the past 4 years. It's near-impossible to keep up with all of your other commitments, especially finding time for the gym. Try to eat healthy foods that don't trigger your IBS (I have that too) and if possible work 20-30 minutes of walking into your day. Keep in mind that lifting and hauling boxes and furniture is a workout in itself!

Most importantly, take it easy on yourself! Think about what you've written as if a good friend was saying these things to you about herself. Would you tell her she's not working hard enough, or acknowledge all she's already doing? :)

Lisa

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JANIRAN 2/12/2009 11:38AM

    I feel for you...it brought back memories of me doing the same things to myself. My suggestions: begin looking at what is right w/you and not what is wrong. Take time to sit down and write out some things that you are good at. Think of a short sentence that you can say when the negative thoughts come...such as "This too shall pass" (this is my favorite), but you come up with something that will work for you. Call a friend who will be supportive and will remind you of the wonderful person that you are. I have done that. I asked one of my friends if she would be willing to remind me of the wonderful qualities. Now, all I have to do is call and say, "Hey, I need reminders today" and we laugh and she begins to tell me what I need to hear, but am relunctant to tell myself.

It also sounds like you are under alot of stress, which you probably are aware that it can wreak havoc on our bodies. You probably already know this, but 500 calories is way too low. Your body requires food in order to boost your metabolism, along with supplying you w/ vitamins/minerals.

You can do this! Begin by being good to yourself...ask yourself, "How would I help one of my friends, if she was feeling this way?" Then, do that for yourself! I so hope this helps! emoticon

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Today is a new day

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I've been thinking a lot since my last blog entry and I'm starting to think that I really need to stop concentrating on what my weight is and focus on the good like I eat healthy and I excerise regularly. Why do we constantly beat ourselves up? I've been doing it for so many years now; I'm my own worst enemy. I think I need to take all that time I was wasting on what I look like, how much I weigh, how many calories I'm eating, etc. and put it more positively. I need to accept myself for the person that I am; loving, caring, goal orientated, and just a beautiful person. We all are no matter if we need to lose 5 lbs or 100 lbs! I need to love myself more and it starts today!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRMOR 10/17/2008 2:40PM

    POSITIVE SELF TALK!!! Keep it up! You are everything you said.
Keep up the great attitude and talk to yoyrself everyday!!!!
Terri

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Tough Times

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Okay, so I went to the doctor's yesterday and I lost 4lbs., I wasn't really too surprised because I've only eating on average 700 calories a day and burning 500+ at the gym. I swear if I eat over 1,000 calories a day I start to gain weight, it's horrible and I really don't know what to do... I'm always consumed with what I'm eating, how many calories it has, how much fat, etc. It's consuming my life and it's been like this all my life. As a young kid I was overweight and got picked on then age 10 and 11 came along and I became anorexic and was hospitalized and ever since then my weight and food have always been a big issue with me. I don't know how to overcome this anymore... I have a hard time talking about it because my family and people around me just don't really understand what it's like or how hard it is. I'm sure there's people just like me on this site, everywhere, and it would be really nice to talk to someone that's going through it or has overcome it, thanks!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLWINK 10/9/2008 10:36AM

    I would have to agree with cogille and angel, and would like to add that unless I am very mistaken 700 calories or even 1000 isnt enough to sustain anyone. It sounds like you are still battling your disorder and I would be worried that you arent getting enough calories to be a normal active person.

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ANGEL_OF_HOPES 10/9/2008 9:57AM

    1st I wanna Congrats U 4 taking the Step of 1st Blog
2nd I'm glad that U know the reason behind that...U r too Obssessed with Ur weight

3rd my advice to u is to Take a deep breath, write it down, and make a promise with Ur own self by saying:
"Today, Iím planning to be back on track but with a new Healthy style...I'll not beat myself to be Skinny...But I'll try new methods to be Energized for life not to faint."

Cheat days is always needed and specially when it ONCE a week

Good luck &keep me updated my dear.

Lots Of Love,
Menna


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COWGILLE 10/9/2008 9:30AM

    Hi,
Have you seen a counselor for the reasons behind your eating disorder? I would encourage you to do so. Discovering the reason(s) (if you don't already know them) and talking them out with someone is the most help I know of. I'm not anorexic or bulimic, but I have a dear friend who was anorexic. She credits her healing to the counseling she received.

I hope you can and will get help!

Blessings,
Edwina

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