LWADE1963   20,407
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Saturday, November 01, 2014

I had 3 fabulous on plan days.

Are in calorie range and excercised. Felt terrific

So why did this happen? Must be just a lesson for me to learn

Today at work they are getting pizza and chicken. So you know that "all or nothing" thinking. I figure I may as we'll have some cookies at my moms before work. It's gonna be a junk food kind of day anyway.

I ate about 7 chips ahoy. Why did I keep eating? I paid attention to my feelings while I was eating them. They really weren't that good to be quite honest.

Don't know why I kept eating, but at least I paid attention to my feelings and stopped

I am still doing "beck" book

I guess it is working.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLONDEDOG 11/3/2014 2:13PM

    Take a step back and move on. Often, the hardest part for me is just paying attention. You know what happened, and you know the pay off wasn't that great. Good job on moving forward. You can do this!

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KAREN-IS-HERE 11/2/2014 11:24AM

    wet cardboard & starchy snacks often taste the same when I'm being mindless...

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DEBBYFROMMT 11/1/2014 5:01PM

    Wow, being aware of how you feel is half the battle! Good for you!

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GABY1948 11/1/2014 4:55PM

    I agree with FEEDTHEHUNGER and she is right...you did what you were supposed to do....so move on from here.....NEXT BECK Lesson!


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FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/1/2014 1:47PM

    I always consider the bag "1 serving." You did what you were supposed to do -- pay attention and quit when you felt full. It may not have been the best choice, but it won't wreck your day unless you let it.

Good job!

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KNEEMAKER 11/1/2014 1:14PM

  WOW you stopped at 7! When I get started on Chip Ahoys, I don't quit until they are all gone. You did extremely well young lady. With that said, let's just keep on keeping on and sooner or later we will both hit our destinations. Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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time to be positive about life

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

its time to focus on the positive

today i feel good.

my problem with hubby being gone at night is improving. thanks for all your comments and help.
the hardest part is the night after i get home, but on a positive note, i am getting to bed earlier and sleeping better. i am excercising more during day and cooking more healthy meals. i am visiting my mom more. i have many more positive things to come.

my excercise for the day was supposed to be focus t25 day 3. i started it but it is just too advanced for me at this time. i dont feel like a failure, i just need to start out more slower and go back to the program at a later time.

so what did i do? i did my c25k week 2 day2 i didnt go real fast. my fastest was 3.8. i did that a few times on the jogging intervals. i am not looking at miles or calories burned. i just want to increase my speed slowly and get thru the program.

oh the feeling of empowerment when i was done!!!

i am focusing on the positive. i always have a better day when i excercise

oh yeah, and i am starting beck diet solution. there are a few people i have found that is doing it. they will be my mentors that i look up to. i have bookmarked there spark blogs and i read them daily. there is also a thread on the weight watchers website and it starts in novemeber.

i hope everyone has a super great day

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABYBARNEY 10/30/2014 6:12AM

    Good work in a positive mindset!

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DEBBYFROMMT 10/29/2014 11:33PM

    Good for you! You sound so much more positive!

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/29/2014 8:37PM

    Glad you are getting more comfortable with hubby gone - it's a big adjustment

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HOLLYM48 10/29/2014 7:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GABY1948 10/29/2014 5:32PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAREN-IS-HERE 10/29/2014 4:19PM


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LINDAINALABAMA 10/29/2014 4:11PM


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LINDAINALABAMA 10/29/2014 4:10PM


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_RANDY_ 10/29/2014 3:53PM


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FEEDTHEHUNGER 10/29/2014 2:28PM

    It certainly sounds like you are bringing a lot of the positive into your life where it is flourishing and generating more positivity. That's the way it goes when you're on an upward spiral!


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BLONDEDOG 10/29/2014 2:08PM

    What a wonderful attitude! Keep up the great work!

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WORKNPROGRESS49 10/29/2014 1:24PM


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facing my fears day 2

Monday, October 27, 2014

Monday, October 27, 2014
okay so this is my first day of my journey by myself.

my dh got home this morning and went to bed. so it is just me. i wont see him until sunday.

man oh man. i hate this. i feel so scared and hopeless.

i know i should not have put my full trust in my dh and gotten used to him being there when i got up and when i got home from work.there was no me time. but i was ok with that at the time. but it wasnt healthy i really just enjoy his company tho. why did he have to leave me and go on another shift. he left me all alone. my son is grown and dont live at home.

i just have to face my fears.

as i think about the whys of my fear of being alone, a lot of it is lack of confidence in my own abilities. lack of confidence that i can face the world.

these are things that i must overcome in order to be a happier person.

it wasnt always like this. at one time, i was very confident in my abilites. i dont know where the ship turned.

so anyways, todays revelation is that a lot of my fear is lack of confidence in my abilites.

i am gonna continue to think this through so i can come out a better person

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GABY1948 10/28/2014 5:26PM

    I don't like to be alone either. Sometimes that is good and sometimes that is NOT good!

Hope you get it settled!

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DEBBYFROMMT 10/28/2014 3:42PM

    You are stronger than you know! I know it's tough being without your DH, but it gives you time to be YOU. You can be a better person, exercise, volunteering, learn something new, time for you! You should be happy, it'll make you a better person and a better wife when you do see him!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MICKEYMAX 10/28/2014 7:30AM

    I usually see my hubby on weekends due to our schedules. I put on all the lights when I am home alone. Makes me feel better. : )

Working out is a great stress reliever, and you are not alone - we are all here for you!!!

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2BEHEALTHY2014 10/27/2014 2:10PM

    I can relate to you. 8 years ago my husband good a new position with his company that involves travel. Most weeks he leaves on Monday and returns Thursday or Friday. My kids are grown and gone too. I started finding things to do at I enjoy that he doesn't. I cook foods he won't eat, I watch tv shows that he doesn't like, anything to keep myself busy. I also do a bit of cleaning each night so I get it done while he's away so we can spend our weekends together. I have the tv on for the noise so the house noises doesn't scare me as much. It takes time, but you'll get used to it.

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BLONDEDOG 10/27/2014 1:59PM

    It sounds like from your other blog that you are really scared but you've put some thought into things that you can do to improve your confidence. May I suggest the local library. Sometimes they have great adult crafts or things like that. Definitely the gym. Take care and find what works for you.

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BABYBARNEY 10/27/2014 12:29PM

    For many years my DH worked opposite my shift...it can be a challenging endeavour to not rely on the company of your better half but after awhile of getting used to it, you will cherish that "me time" that you will create for yourself...after all, do something active JUST FOR YOU!!!

Remember that with any new behaviour repeated you are creating a HABIT...just make it a good one...if all else fails, put on those head phones, since MUSIC can be GREAT company!

Have a wonderful day, emoticon

Sandi emoticon

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LWADE1963 10/27/2014 11:45AM

    oh yes. you are so right. i should be thankful instead of complaining. sometimes we forget whats important and need a reminder. thanks.

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JAXMOMMY 10/27/2014 11:34AM

    Hi. I want to say this as kindly as I am able.... I understand your fear and your sense of loneliness, as well as your doubt in your own abilities. But, I want to try to bring you to the bright side of your situation.... Your husband switched shifts. You are fortunate that he has a job in this economic climate and you are fortunate that he is on another shift.... Alive and working.... Not dead like so many of our Spark Friends' husbands. This situation is going to take some major adustments on your part, but remember to be thankful that he is there, in the other room, asleep. Wishing you well on this journey. Take care of yourself and find that strong woman inside of you who knows she is capable and very lucky after all!

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the process of change

Monday, October 27, 2014

let me start by saying today was just a sad day for me. i have had a lot of sad days lately thank goodness for my spark friends

i guess i have a lot of fears, as do we all.

my sister died 2 years ago. she would always come over for trick or treat and sit with me and we would hand out candy. last year we were moving so it wasnt quite so sad.
this year, it was just me. well, me and my husband, but mostly just me.
i went shopping before handing out candy and i sat in the parking lot and just cried and cried and cried. i just miss her so much.

so on to the second part of my horrible day. this is where my "fear" comes in.

my husband and i have both been on afternoons for several years. he decided to go to midnights. i didnt tell him not to. i wanted him to do what he wants to do. today is his first night on midnights. i am just scared and sad. not scared of being in house by myself. just scared of life in general by myself.

i feel like i am single again cause i wont see him until sunday. all week long by myself, which makes me solely responsible for my happiness.

i am the first to admit that i have def gotten out of shape the last few years.

this means i can get up and go to gym. noone will complain about me being gone. this will be a good thing but i am scared to death. i can go do things and meet people. i can go to church on sunday nights cause my husband will be working. maybe i should go back to school during the day. maybe i should go to more weight watcher meetings

not sure but i know i will success. i will make a new life for me. a life that is exciting and not boring

i have been praying that God helps me to be more confident and more happy and self reliant. sometimes God answers in ways that we dont like. but its always the best way and the way that will come out good.

i am scared, but i am also excited.

the beginning of a new life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLONDEDOG 10/27/2014 1:55PM

    Awww.....sorry to hear about your sad day. It happens to everyone sometimes. I hope very much that things even out for you and your husband and you fall into a nice little pattern that you both enjoy. Maybe it will give you that little bit of independence that will help you take care of yourself. Keep us updated and take care.

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JAXMOMMY 10/27/2014 11:40AM

    Yes, I read your blog from today first and am glad to see some positivity in this blog! God does work in mysterious ways and maybe your hubby's shift change is going to be what it takes to help you realize your inner strength! Yes, go to the gym! Yes, take some classes! Yes, do what you need to do to help you find all that inner strength I just know you have! Change is always stressful, but change can bring opportunities we never imagined too! I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I get that. Mine died 10 years ago very unexpectedly. We did so many things together and yes, I still miss her on those occasions. But, our lives do go on. If you would like, I can share a wonderful Christian daily E-mail message a Spark Friend shared with me with scriptures and words of promise for those of us who are grieving. Just let me know. I'm Melissa if you don't remember my name!

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so disappointed with myself

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

had a really bad day at work.

there is a woman i work with and i just cant get along with her. we had to go in supervisor office and had a knock down drag out argument. i have to figure out a way to survive the day and not let her get to me. i dont like turmoil in the workplace. with that said, i also will not do all the work and let a co worker take advantage of me.

so after work, i had 2 donuts. i know i can do better than that. i am very disappointed with myself. i told myself i deserve it for surviving a bad day. if that isnt the most stupid thing to say. i DESERVE to take care of myself by eating right and not feeding junk into me..

at least i acknowledged it and i will move on and do better tomorrow.

this is how we learn and grow stronger

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 10/27/2014 11:44AM

    You also don't deserve to talk to yourself like you are stupid! You made a bad choice, recognized it as such and know not to make the same choice! We've all done it! You should read my blog today! It has been stressful and I've made horrible choices! But, I own them and know those choices do not define me as a human. After all, I am only human.

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GABY1948 10/25/2014 7:46AM

    Sorry for your bad day but you definitely have the right attitude! Have a great weekend!

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DIFROMWYOMING 10/23/2014 10:12PM

    I'm sorry your day was rough- but don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it's a thin line between getting along and getting walked on. As for the doughnuts...well...they're in your rear view mirror now- and since you're not headed back that direction- move on!

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POCKETFULOFSUN 10/22/2014 8:34PM

    When ever I have problems with people I always consult the four agreements by Miguel Ruiz


1 Be impeccable with your word.
2 Don't take anything personally
3. Don make assumptions
4. Always do your best.

When ever I am struggling I find that I am failing in one or more of these and It makes the new path self evident

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I'm sorry you had a bad day. I also take that stuff out on my food choices. Two donuts does not a new lifestyle, break!! Hang in there.

Bee emoticon

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MADAMES 10/22/2014 5:05PM

    You are not alone! Most of us battle the urge to partake in emotional eating from time to time! You handled it really well, and you stopped with two doughnuts.


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DEBBYFROMMT 10/22/2014 12:53PM

    That's right! Own it, record it, and move on! Every day is a new day to make better choices, not just in nutrition, but how you react to situations. Take the time to think about the kind of person you want to be. Don't let anyone else decide how you are going to react.

emoticon emoticon

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BLONDEDOG 10/22/2014 10:09AM

    Best intentions and all that. We all know what we need to do, sometimes it's harder than other times. I definitely feel you. I use food to numb my feelings. It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things. I wish I had some suggestions for dealing with a difficult coworker. It amazes me how lazy people can be. Unfortunately I have yet to figure out how to force people to take pride in a job well done. Lots of deep breaths. Good luck!

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 10/22/2014 7:14AM

    Best part of this blog was when you said " i DESERVE to take care of myself by eating right and not feeding junk into me..

Make that your mantra! You DO deserve to care care of yourself by eating right. So put those two donuts out of your mind, and focus on how you're going to make today great!

Hope things get better with your co-worker. emoticon

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BABYBARNEY 10/22/2014 6:48AM

    I remember those stress filled work politics...it is EASY to react that way...but you figured it out to be the emotional eating that it WAS!!! Emphasis on WAS...let it go & move on!!! Exercise can release that stress in a positive way!!!

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GABY1948 10/22/2014 3:54AM

    That is the key...you STOPPED it....it's behind you so make today a better day...sorry about the stress...have had days like that....SO glad to be retired!

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RAWCOOKIE 10/22/2014 2:49AM

    At least you recognised what was going on - and you stopped at two!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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