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so disappointed with myself

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

had a really bad day at work.

there is a woman i work with and i just cant get along with her. we had to go in supervisor office and had a knock down drag out argument. i have to figure out a way to survive the day and not let her get to me. i dont like turmoil in the workplace. with that said, i also will not do all the work and let a co worker take advantage of me.

so after work, i had 2 donuts. i know i can do better than that. i am very disappointed with myself. i told myself i deserve it for surviving a bad day. if that isnt the most stupid thing to say. i DESERVE to take care of myself by eating right and not feeding junk into me..

at least i acknowledged it and i will move on and do better tomorrow.

this is how we learn and grow stronger

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIFROMWYOMING 10/23/2014 10:12PM

    I'm sorry your day was rough- but don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it's a thin line between getting along and getting walked on. As for the doughnuts...well...they're in your rear view mirror now- and since you're not headed back that direction- move on!
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POCKETFULOFSUN 10/22/2014 8:34PM

    When ever I have problems with people I always consult the four agreements by Miguel Ruiz

http://sweetbreathing.c
om/four-agreements/

1 Be impeccable with your word.
2 Don't take anything personally
3. Don make assumptions
4. Always do your best.

When ever I am struggling I find that I am failing in one or more of these and It makes the new path self evident

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BEESTILLANDKNOW 10/22/2014 6:34PM

   

I'm sorry you had a bad day. I also take that stuff out on my food choices. Two donuts does not a new lifestyle, break!! Hang in there.


Bee emoticon

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MADAMES 10/22/2014 5:05PM

    You are not alone! Most of us battle the urge to partake in emotional eating from time to time! You handled it really well, and you stopped with two doughnuts.

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DEBBYFROMMT 10/22/2014 12:53PM

    That's right! Own it, record it, and move on! Every day is a new day to make better choices, not just in nutrition, but how you react to situations. Take the time to think about the kind of person you want to be. Don't let anyone else decide how you are going to react.

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BLONDEDOG 10/22/2014 10:09AM

    Best intentions and all that. We all know what we need to do, sometimes it's harder than other times. I definitely feel you. I use food to numb my feelings. It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things. I wish I had some suggestions for dealing with a difficult coworker. It amazes me how lazy people can be. Unfortunately I have yet to figure out how to force people to take pride in a job well done. Lots of deep breaths. Good luck!

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 10/22/2014 7:14AM

    Best part of this blog was when you said " i DESERVE to take care of myself by eating right and not feeding junk into me..


Make that your mantra! You DO deserve to care care of yourself by eating right. So put those two donuts out of your mind, and focus on how you're going to make today great!

Hope things get better with your co-worker. emoticon

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BABYBARNEY 10/22/2014 6:48AM

    I remember those stress filled work politics...it is EASY to react that way...but you figured it out to be the emotional eating that it WAS!!! Emphasis on WAS...let it go & move on!!! Exercise can release that stress in a positive way!!!

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GABY1948 10/22/2014 3:54AM

    That is the key...you STOPPED it....it's behind you so make today a better day...sorry about the stress...have had days like that....SO glad to be retired!

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RAWCOOKIE 10/22/2014 2:49AM

    At least you recognised what was going on - and you stopped at two!

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my journey continues.....

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

its been over a week since i have blogged.

i got a little discouraged but thanks to support, i am doing much better.

yesterday, i increased my excercise to 60 minutes . i started t-25, which is very challenging. they do have a person that you can follow that does low impact. that is what i am doing. it is very doable. i am gonna follow her all the way throught the alpha and then i am gonna do it again and increase intesity.

i also am still doing c25k. i am on week 2 day 2. the last time i did it, i think i pushed myself too hard. i increased speed and stride. my knee hurt for 3 days after that. yesterday, i went real lightly. that is the speed that i am gonna go, gradually increasing it.

i am also having my daily green smoothie and taking time to fix a healthy dinner. today is gonna be just a turkey sandwich and a salad. so i am proving to myself that i dont have to cook everyday in order to have healthy meal

i want you guys to know that i love reading your blogs. i set aside part of my day just to sit and read them and comment. they are very motivational.

have a great day

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABYBARNEY 10/22/2014 6:58AM

    Always listen to your body...your KNEE was talking to you...each small positive step brings you that much closer to your HEALTHY lifestyle. If you increase your activity after getting your eating habits healthier, you can't help but succeed...Kudos to you for recognizing that a COLD dinner can also be HEALTHY!

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GORIANA 10/21/2014 5:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BEESTILLANDKNOW 10/21/2014 3:08PM

   

You're doing well !! Try not to be too critical of yourself. You are making strides and you are honoring your body when it hurts. That's smart thinking if you ask me!

I'm adding you as a friend, let's keep gleaning our hope and motivation off of others.

Bee emoticon

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BLONDEDOG 10/21/2014 1:35PM

    I am so glad you are feeling a little better! It's hard when you get discouraged, but with an attitude like you have right now you'll bounce back in no time!!!

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ARNETTELEE 10/21/2014 1:04PM

  Glad you're feeling better!

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WORKNPROGRESS49 10/21/2014 12:54PM

    emoticon emoticon

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re motivated recharge---a constant process

Thursday, October 09, 2014

i want to thank everyone for the enormous responds to my last blog about my husband. since then, things are pretty much the same.

i need to be consistent in order to prove to him that these are lasting changes. i really belive that once he sees that i am consistent with excercise and eating right, he might jump on board or at least be more supportive

in other news, i have been getting my 10,000 steps a day by walking before work and at work, i walk a lot. if i had to choose whether to have a sit down job at work or standing and moving, i always choose moving. i even walk to the other end of the shop sometimes just to do it and get extra steps in.

today, i feel successful.. some days i dont. why is today different than other days> i am not sure except for maybe because i got on my treadmill on day 2 of c25k. the weather is kinda drab so instead of sitting around feeling blah, i excercised.

i have also decided to not eat when i am not hungry. sometimes i have my green smoothie or try to get more veggis in or protein. sometimes this makes me hungrier after i eat it. so instead, i am just eating when i am hungry. i hope this is a good idea. not sure.

everyone have a super sparktastic day!!!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NICOLERZ 10/12/2014 9:43AM

    Way to go on the 10,000 steps! I was doing good with my 7500 step challenge until I got sick. Now, I am having a hard time getting back to it because I feel like I already blew it.

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MADAMES 10/9/2014 7:44PM

    Sounds like you have some great plans!

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GABY1948 10/9/2014 4:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NELLIEC 10/9/2014 3:00PM

    For most people eating when they feel hungry works. For me, I tend not to feel hungry, and have had dangerously low blood sugars, so I eat by the clock.

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DEBBYFROMMT 10/9/2014 2:52PM

    A good workout brings my out of a mental slump too. I don't know, makes you feel good about yourself I guess. I know when I lost weight it rubbed off on my DH. He gets out and runs a couple mornings a week now. Good luck! When you succeed it makes others take notice!

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2BEHEALTHY2014 10/9/2014 2:18PM

    I'm proud of you for not letting his negative comments get to you. I hope you are able to get him to follow in your steps. I think not eating unless you are hungry is a good idea. I find myself snacking a lot of times when I'm n really hungry. I need to try it myself.

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WORKNPROGRESS49 10/9/2014 1:09PM

    emoticon

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my negative husband at it again

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

i love my husband,. i really do. but sometimes i wonder how we survivied 30 years of marriage.

he has made negative comments before about how you cant be sexy after 50. but this morning, i was trying to be positive and eat better and you know, the whole excercise thing, etc.

he looked at me and said, you know, at our age it is really pointless to start eating right. the damage has been done.

this really ticked me off. i am only 52, he is 57. i hope i have a lot of life left. but to tell me that it is pointless????

i really went off on him and told him about reversing signs of aging by excercise and eating right.

we both work afternoons. i told him, ( and i am serious) that i need to get up early maybe 3 days a week and go to gym or do something to get away from him for a while.

these negative comments irritate me.

what do you think? some time away might help me deal better with his negative attitude.

by the way, he doesnt participate in daily walks, bike rides or anything



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAVERICK59 10/10/2014 2:26PM

    I believe I married his brother.
Several medications, pizza and watching TV 24/7 instead of a walk and some veggies. emoticon

Hugs,
Belinda

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GABY1948 10/9/2014 4:16PM

    I think that HE doesn't want to do anything so he wants you to not do it either. I agree with the others...you have to do what you know is right for you. I have been blessed with a husband that totally supports me in all I do....I wasn't so blessed the first time. So I have seen both sides but I do think if your hubby actually SEES the results you will obtain it might win him over!



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LINDAINALABAMA 9/29/2014 11:24PM

    Wow. I bet you didn't expect to get this much support from your blog.

I read every single one and love them. I guess the bottom line I took from this was take care of you and let the chips fall where they may.

Great job.



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LINDAINALABAMA 9/29/2014 11:14PM

    Wow. I bet you didn't expect to get this much support from your blog.

I read every single one and love them. I guess the bottom line I took from this was take care of you and let the chips fall where they may.

Great job.



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DEBBYFROMMT 9/28/2014 3:50PM

    I don't know what to say, but you have to take care of YOU! I run alone, I workout alone (no gym in this town). My DH doesn't either support me or put me down. I just do it for me.

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GORIANA 9/25/2014 8:54PM

    I hear you sister. When my roots show gray (I'm in my 40's) it drives my dh nuts and he doesn't know how to 'deal' with it and retreats. When I eventually color my roots, he falls in love again....

Just take care of yourself. Watch him follow you around because you're 'hot'....

I think our husbands are more afraid of their own old age. We all know parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and others that got an unfortunate illness in their 'golden' years and it would make anyone afraid.

Congratulations on doing what you can to make the years ahead as wonderful as you can. Keep at it.

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MARUKI52 9/25/2014 1:50PM

    Well, you tell your husband that I have never thought that eating healthily or exercising or doing anything else to keep the body, mind and spirit fit is a waste of time. I'm still working at it and I'm 71 so you are a spring chicken and have many years ahead of your to enjoy with your new found healthy lifestyle. Just keep going and you will reap the rewards.

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BABYBARNEY 9/25/2014 6:38AM

    Wow! Look at the response you've gotten from this sensitive & COMMON situation. Sometimes the people closest to us who we depend on for that support just are not at the same level of readiness for a lifestyle change.

He will watch & respond to your actions...As your life changes for the better, so will his, in time. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words!

keep on your healthy path, YOU are worth it!

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 9/24/2014 9:51PM

    One of the hardest things to accept in marriage is when our spouses disagree with us on something near and dear to our hearts. In my own relationship, I try to offer to my spouse the acceptance I am seeking from him -- in this case, I would accept that he has a perspective that being fit and healthy is a lost cause after 50. I would feel badly for him that he thought such an awful thing about himself, his body and life. It wouldn't change my actions on behalf of myself, but I would not look to him for the support I might normally find there. I was on plan for 3 months before my husband wanted to join me -- he saw how much more fit and healthy I was becoming and wanted to feel that way too. He wasn't negative toward me (although he may have been entertaining some skeptical feelings), but he stoutly insisted he did not want to diet or exercise. Now, he's doing both -- not because I nagged him to do it or insisted that what I was doing was right but because I became my own change agent and he decided to change too.

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SPARKED2BFIT 9/24/2014 9:01PM

    what's important is you're doing something good for you! maybe with time he'll notice that it's not as pointless as he thought and join in. my hubby has and it's a good thing for both of us. all it takes is example. sometimes it just takes time...meanwhile take care of you. YOU'RE WORTH IT! emoticon emoticon

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FORZACHANDMATT 9/24/2014 8:22PM

    I agree with RITEEBEE -he probably wants to do it too so he feels guilty - that's sad. And then he's negative - I'm sorry

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FRAN0426 9/24/2014 7:52PM

    Continue doing this journey for yourself and show him that it is never to late to eat right and exercise. Maybe by example he too may get on the bandwagon of getting healthy for him. By all means hit that gym if that is what you need to do.

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PATRICIA-CR 9/24/2014 7:12PM

    I have always needed time off from my hubby emoticon 100% TRUE. I've learned to enjoy so much that time, doing lots of things by myself and for myself, that I wouldn't change it (37 years married). I usually spend 3 days without him at home (he goes to our farm). The years we spent the whole week together were the most challenging ones (lot's of fights). We are opposites, but very slowly we've learned good things from each other and accept us more.

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MADAMES 9/24/2014 6:01PM

    I had a similar experience with my DH. I finally decided to just start changing my lifestyle, and my husband started following suit a few years later. He now tracks all of his food on Spark People, and he gets very competitive with his Fitbit minutes. Nagging really didn't work in our case....I just led by example and was pleasantly surprised to find him following my lead. We now go to the gym together and walk together after dinner. :). He still complains about my healthy recipes at times...I don't always share with him exactly which ingredients are included. emoticon

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MIAMI_LILLY 9/24/2014 2:19PM

    I understand why you're so angry. When you are determined to achieve something and you are excited by it, it is really a downer to have someone rain on your parade. And it's so NOT a waste of time. Whatever damage was done can be reversed. I had high blood pressure, was borderline diabetic, high cholesterol, and my triglycerides were 270! Now, everything is normal, and other than my thyroid medication, I live a med-free life, and feel so much better physically and emotionally. But Slenderella hit the nail on the head when she said that it is more about defending his lifestyle, then criticizing yours. You join the gym, go for longer walks, whatever it takes, but keep aiming for the stars! emoticon

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RITEEBEE 9/24/2014 2:13PM

    it's his guilt talking for not joining in with you. Keep setting a good example and stay strong, You are making a difference!! emoticon emoticon

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NUTSNUTSGETEM 9/24/2014 2:12PM

    In defense of your husband... There is no defense. But, don't read too much in to it. Seriously. As a guy, he could have meant nothing more than "I'm going to eat half a sleeve of Oreos, so please don't give me sh7t about doing it." Seriously. That is the way our brains can work - without giving any consideration to how someone else might interpret it or how negative it might sound.

And, my wife has run 6 marathons. When she was young, she was heavy (for her). Once she lost the weight, she has been focused all her life on keeping it off. Personally, I have had fits and spurts of exercise, but many periods, perhaps as long as a year at a time where, like your husband, I did not participate in any type of exercise. I have been back at it religiously since May. While it is completely for me, a side effect is that my wife is much happier.

One thought you might share as it has had a major impact on me when it came to me (and it is going to sound harsh so you'll have to find an appropriate time to say it) - As a sedentary big guy, if I were to die, I would not be a cautionary tale to anyone. It would have been "Oh! Jack died. That's sad. But I am ok because he was fat and never did anything." I would love to see great grand kids one day (my kids are still too young to get married!) But, if I go before then, (again, sorry for being morbid) I would like to be a cautionary tale. A "Holy sh&t! Jack died? And, he was in such good shape."

All joking aside. I would lay odds that it was something as simple as feeling like if he capitulates, he is never going to have "fun" food or relax on the couch again.

You - Keep at it! But, don't take this as a sign that you need time away from him! He's just an idiot guy like the rest of us.

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SUSAN-FIT-N-FAB 9/24/2014 2:11PM

    We have members in their 70's, 80's and 90's that would prove him wrong! You ultimately do this for yourself, to live longer, with less complications, and not end up a nursing home.


At age 56, after losing just 10% of my starting weight, my blood pressure and cholesterol numbers returned from being out of this world, to normal ranges. Yes you CAN reverse the damage and live longer and healthier in the process.

Perhaps he feels threatened that your healthy living will rub off on him?



Comment edited on: 9/24/2014 2:12:58 PM

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PRETTYPITHY 9/24/2014 1:50PM

    Hmm, has he always discouraged you from getting healthy or is that new? Sometimes, loved ones can feel threatened by our efforts at a healthy lifestyle. He may fear you will change or start to think ill of him if his habits aren't the same. This is a fairly common problem though I'm sure you are disappointed that he is actively discouraging you. You can -- and will -- succeed with -- or without -- his support.

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SLENDERELLA61 9/24/2014 1:42PM

    I exercise and take care of myself for me. My hubby is 73 and I am 65. I run half marathons. I strength train. I eat plenty of veggies every day. It shows. My blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol are normal without medication. He walks the dog occasionally. He eats a vegetable from time to time. He eats plenty of chips and sweets. His blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol are not normal even with daily medication. He's had several surgeries related to his lifestyle.

When my husband criticizes my lifestyle, I usually just ignore him. I know that his criticism is not really aimed at me; he is defending his lifestyle which on some level he knows is lacking.

Best wishes for blocking out the negative voices. I did not hit my goal weight until I was 60 years old. I started running when I was 61. I know it matters. It maybe even matters more now than it would have 35 years ago.


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MYOWNHERO 9/24/2014 1:38PM

    He's just not there yet. Ignore the comments for now and lure him in. When he sees how much you enjoy being strong and healthy he's gonna want to join in. If you argue then he'll just try to cling to his idea. It's like when you want toddlers to try eating veggies..."mmmm this is sooo yummy!"

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HOLLYM48 9/24/2014 1:37PM

    It is never too late and I guess you are going to have to keep telling him that you are doing this for you even if he doesn't want to get better or feel better. THat is a tough thing when your spouse is not supportive. Stay positive about why you are doing this though, you know that it will all pay off.

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PUNKGIRL5003 9/24/2014 1:35PM

    Well as the old saying goes "misery loves company." I think it would be a good thing to spend some time apart. It sounds like he wasnts you to feel like a grumpy person like hes being, dont let that get you down, just use it as a motivation to prove him wrong, if he wants to sit on his butt and do nothing, not be healthy and live longer then thats up to him. I know you can do it, just keep being healthy.

Comment edited on: 9/24/2014 1:37:05 PM

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EBURGITE 9/24/2014 1:24PM

    you just gotta do what's right for you, and ignore the things he's saying to excuse his behavior. i ran my first half-marathon at 52....and prior to that i'd never ran more than a block in my entire life. unfortunately, i can't run anymore, but i'm looking forward to some long-distance bike rides next year. hang in there. there are some great articles on sp about dealing with the negative side of relationships and weight loss. sometimes, partners are afraid when we change our lives....their fear convinces them to behave in....well....stupid ways. accept that your hubby might be afraid of change, and walk away from his bad behavior...resist the urge to engage, or fight. just keep doing what you know you need to do so you can live the (LONGER, HEALTHIER) life you want for yourself. emoticon

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SHARON2014 9/24/2014 1:23PM

    Just do your own thing - maybe he is feeling insecure, or even a bit guilty knowing that he needs to shape up. I have a similar reaction - just one of those things. I get my support at SP! emoticon

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KAREN-IS-HERE 9/24/2014 1:10PM

    show him my before and after photos- let him see for himself

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update on my progress

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

LOVE THE FALL WEATHER!!!

the cool weather and leaves changing colors

walks in the park, sitting outside, bonfires, and the good mood that i am in constantly because i can breathe outside!!


i have been doing fairly well. the scale is down. i
i am not eliminating grains, but i have cut back. i didnt buy any bread at the store and no ice cream, cookies or candy. biggest problem is the cookies at work. but i dont give up if i give in. i just immediatly start over

i read a really good article i wanted to share in family circle about breast cancer. too much fat increase your estrogen in your body. the increase in estrogen causes the cancer cells to grow and increase your risk of breast cancer. this alone is reason enough to lose weight.

everyone have a spark tastic day!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THETURTLEBEAR 9/20/2014 5:37PM

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RITZIBROWN 9/18/2014 12:30PM

    Thanks for you positive, informative blog. emoticon

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GABY1948 9/18/2014 8:25AM

    You have a spark tastic day too!

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KAREN-IS-HERE 9/18/2014 3:39AM

    emoticon

emoticon good to read that you aren't buying trigger foods!!! yaaaaaa!

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 9/17/2014 10:35PM

    The other thing the extra weight does is keep estrogen floating around after menopause which has some benefits. But, overall, being fit and healthy is better.

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RAWCOOKIE 9/17/2014 4:26PM

    How lovely to hear you are feeling so good and happy now that Autumn is coming in.
I am totally with you on the not buying bread, ice-cream, cookies or candy - I'm the same; if I don't buy it, I don't eat it! and the same at work :)
I don't think there is any doubt that having excess fat on our bodies is 'un-natural' full stop and puts so much strain on our bodies! reducing our risks is always a bonus!

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NELLIEC 9/17/2014 2:53PM

    That certainly sounds like excellent motivation to lose weight!

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