Tuesday, December 17, 2013
1.) Do you think it's possible to be addicted to cheese?
- Yes, but I'm not addicted to cheese.
- Yes, and I've actually overcome it.
- No, cheese isn't addictive.
- Maybe, I'm not sure.
Thanks for taking my poll!
Note: This poll is just for fun, although the writer may want tips and tricks to overcome a cheese addiction if you just happen to have some. ...
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
I began this journey at 382.2 pounds in Nov. 23, 2011. I thought then my weight had reached itís highest point and that never again would I weigh so much. I was wrong. Inspiration to lose the weight had taken me like a whirlwind after a loved one was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer.
I wanted to walk in a Relay for Life as an expression of gratitude for the care given to my loved one during treatment. Unfortunately, the realization hit me that this one thing I felt was my duty to do, I could not do. Grateful for the life of this loved one who survived because of the care of skilled doctors and nurses, and the help of organizations that made that care possible, I feel like I need to do this. Itís time to give back.
I thought this motivation would be enough to change my life, but after losing 57 pounds by the first part of 2013, I lost sight of my goal and gained everything I had lost and then some.
Feeling defeated, my weight just kept climbing, all the way to up to 411.6 pounds in Dec. 2013.
Iím starting over again. Revisiting old goals. Rewriting my story, as I am doing now on my SparkPage, and it has brought tears to my eyes.
I remember not being able to easily walk across a room without pain and struggling when I started my journey in 2011. I remember the emotional pain of nearly losing someone I care deeply about and am not ready to let go of, and I remember the overwhelming love and gratitude that initially buoyed me towards a goal worthy of achieving Ė walking in the Relay for Life.
I never achieved that goal.
But my story is not over.
I am not finished.
I will achieve my goal.
I need a little help. Gathering my support around me, Iím back on SparkPeople, Iíve returned to my TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) meetings, Iím back in the pool for aquatherapy. My doctors support my goal and so does my family. Iím enlisting the help of those who will listen, anyone who can help.
This weight is too big for me to carry alone.
But as a part of a community, more of whom care than I probably could imagine, I will be able to achieve this goal.
I have to achieve this goal. I was meant to achieve this goal.
Iím starting once again, much like I was before in 2011, with pain and difficulty walking. I huff and I puff at the slightest exertion. The simple task of taking care of myself has become so daunting that I fight everyday to not succumb to failure.
The one thing that keeps me going, even through the imperfect times is that I know that these difficulties are only temporary. Once again, I will start getting lighter on my feet and Iíll be able to do things I couldnít do before.
I can hardly wait. Itís time for change and Iím ready for it.
Join me on this journey, itís going to be exciting.
I can feel it already. Somethingís changing!
NOTE: Restarting my journey, I've rewritten the story which appears on my SparkPage. The above blog post is what I've written.
Monday, December 16, 2013
It's kind of funny how circumstances can totally step in and change both the best and worst laid plans out there.
For me, that was a reality this week, on both ends, a split skirt and a snowstorm.
The split skirt
As usual, I've been quite busy, so once again, the necessary activities of life take a back burner.
This week I ran out of pretty much all of my planned foods tracked here on SparkPeople that I was eating the week before, so it was time to go shopping and cook once again.
Simple stuff really, only for me, it's not really. Shopping in the middle of the night is fun stuff, because that's usually the only time I can do that kind of thing. Then add the cooking. By that time I'm bushed. Save the cooking for the day off right? My only day off this week. Sure. Only I'm out of food now and that's a little down the road yet.
The other day, I had enough of subsisting on my emergency stock ramen noodle soups and toast. I bought the soup for days I might be sick or something. I'm not sick now, just hungry.
I have the money for groceries, just not the time. So I was planning on making a middle of the night run for supper, meaning a quick stop to go and get a package of chicken wings and quesadillas -- not the epitome of healthy eating by any means -- just a quick something that didn't have to be cooked because it already was cooked.
Around here, there isn't much to chose from in the middle of the night. I hadn't had breakfast that day, only had lunch and that was about 10 hours before.
Not great planning on my part, but the reality of a busy person.
So how was my diet saved by a split skirt? Well, literally, minutes before leaving to go and get my chicken wings and quesadillas, I split my skirt big time. Of course this was a skirt already with a slit, so the slit was so big by the time I was done splitting it, decency was a thing of history.
Change of plans. Rotate the skirt so the split isn't in the back anymore and is on the side, and head for home with a quickness, no stops. There's one thing a person should never see, and that's a 400-plus pound girl with a skirt slit so high that London and France looked like it was coming out for a visit. Yes, I was appalled to find my underpants peaking through the slit while looking in a mirror. And my legs, yikes! Shapely, yes. Just not the shape most people think of when they think of shapely legs! Eeks!
Anyway, ramen noodles and toast one again. Soup: 190 calories. Bread: 80 calories per slice. Pat of butter: 35 calories per pat. Sodium: I don't want to know.
Calories at the end of the day, reasonable. Diet spared another day.
Next day, a snowstorm hits. Lovely. I used to love snow. But then again, that was back when I was about 5 and into making snowmen. Now, not so much. Shoveling and cleaning off the car, a pain in the butt, my back and my arthritic thumb. Who knew shoveling could cause thumb pain? I sure didn't.
Anyway, the plan was to finally go shopping yesterday. I knew the storm was coming but somehow, I had the delusion of thinking that I could somehow pull it off anyway.
Yep. I forgot how much a pain in the butt it is to drive in a snowstorm. Forget the grocery store. I drove straight home, moving about 20-25 miles per hour, much to the shagrin of the pickup truck that had the misfortune of being behind my car that has no snow tires, my car that has a tire that's been patched twice. Truly fabulous tires.
And while it was another night of ramen noodle soup and toast again, calorie count still reasonable, getting back on what I would consider a better diet has been thwarted by the weather.
Tonight, I'm hungry. I'm tired. Real shopping? Ha! Quesadillas and chicken wings are looking better by the moment. Heaven help me make a better choice! Must proceed with caution.
Monday, December 09, 2013
It's funny how easy it is to forget just how awesome a calorie burn one can get while at the pool.
I went today for my aquatherapy, and spent a little extra time beyond that as well, and boy, I can tell you I am totally bushed.
It's weird because I notice that I feel totally fine while in the pool. I couldn't tell you at what point I've gotten tired while in the water.
But the moment I step out of the pool, reality sets in.
It's like "Woe! Where's my land legs?!?!"
Hunger hits me like a bear the moment I'm out of the pool. Figures. I'm trying to trim my waistline, not add to it.
Fortunately, Subways next door, so I can find something reasonably healthy afterward if I want.
That's what I did today. Got my freggies that way.
Now, hours later, I have an insatiable desire to sleep and I haven't had supper yet.
Well, that's one way to cut calories.
Well I guess I'm off to get some Zzzzzs.
Sunday, December 08, 2013
I fell off the wagon this year, but I'm getting back up again.
Part of me wishes everything continued to go smoothly in my last attempt to lose all of my excess weight, which there is a lot of that, but another part of me is glad that I had to opportunity to learn from both my successes and failures from my latest weight-loss attempt.
Actually, over the past 15 or so months, I've lost 57 pounds and gained back about 87 pounds. Yikes! I not only fell off the wagon, I let it roll me over a few times too.
But had I not experienced that, I may never have truly realized the importance of planning and preparation.
Sure, I knew that each of these things were important before, but not quite like I do now.
Now I'm planning everything well in advance, preparing as if I'll already too busy to plan and prepare later on, so I don't find myself in a bind when I really am too busy.
What do I mean by that?
Before I would plan my meals each week, find myself short on time to plan and shop and then put everything in motion. Sometimes I did okay, and sometimes I ended up eating convenience food for a week while I didn't have time to do the necessary shopping and cooking.
Yikes. That was a disaster. It wasn't so bad in the beginning of my journey before, but later on, everything started to unravel. I got busy. I took shortcuts. I messed up royally.
That's not the only reason I so call "fell off the wagon," but it certainly is a big part of that process.
So, this time I'm in the process of creating a bunch of menus in advance, shopping lists to go with them, and my fitness routine is already set.
All I'll have to do then is chose which menu I want, grab the associated shopping list, shop and cook.
That may not seem like a major thing for some people, but for me the planning part was difficult. I rarely made recipes because family recipes had to be entered into the recipe calculator and that would of course eat up extra time.
I plan on doing that still, but not as much. I think it's time I take advantage of the resource I have of having a bunch of pre-calorie-counted recipes already at hand.
Then, I am going to track emergency food selections. In other words, if I don't have time to shop, I'm going to have some selections made already to get me through without messing me up. I'll already know which sub I will buy at Subway and such, or where I will buy breakfast and what that might be. I'll figure out several of these plans so that no matter where I end up going, I will have a plan in hand.
I figure that will be a good idea because I find myself too often without time to shop, or sometime time to cook the food I've already bought.
I don't have anyone to shop or cook for me, so I have to be prepared for those moments when I can't do it myself and have to resort to convenience food.
Life is busy. Convenience food happens. It just doesn't have to increase one's waistline if one doesn't let it.
After all of that is set, I think I will have back up fitness routines figured out for when I don't have time for the usual routine. I'll track in advance how many calories I can burn during a lunch break if I walk or do something like that instead of my usual recumbent bike or aquatherapy routine. I'll do my best to match my normal calorie burning levels with these plans, so nothing gets thrown out of wack.
I think that will help me a lot, all of that preparation. I wish only I had known how important it would be before, because then maybe I wouldn't have ended up gaining back everything I lost and then some.
Well at least now I know that when things are done properly, the weight will just come melting off again.
So I'm off to finish my preparations and also off to beginning my first week back on Spark.
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