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I feel guilty

Friday, February 11, 2011

Not because I have cheated on my diet or because I haven't exercised as much as I want or should not even for taking a couple days off to rest while sick. I feel guilty for all the years I have spent eating junk in front of my children. Now mind you my children are not anywhere near overweight. In fact, two are at a perfect weight for their heights and the other well lets say he could stand to gain a few pounds. He's always been small though. In fact my tiny little son is the main source of my feeling awful today. My 15 year old has high cholesterol. It's terrible I feel absolutely awful even though its really not my fault.

I guess it would help to know the whole story. My son is bi polar and because of that he is on an anti-psychotic. This medication and all like it keep him from having serious mood swings which may cause him to have a manic episode which may cause him to become a danger to himself or others. In fact that's what happened when he was 12 and had a major breakdown and ended up in the hospital. Anyway the medication is necessary. Unfortunately one of the side effects can be to raise a person's cholesterol. This has happened to my 15 year old son. His doctor told me today that I had to monitor his diet and to teach him how to eat healthier. She said he has also lost 3 pounds since she saw him last month. My boy is 5'6 and weighs 105 pounds. Like I said he's always been small but obviously he can't afford to lose anymore weight. So she says normally with weight loss (also due to medication) she would suggest eating a lot of high (healthy) fat foods such as eggs but that the cholesterol level rules that out. So now I have to somehow keep my baby from developing heart disease and also keep him from withering away into nothingness.

I feel awful I can't help but think that if I had taught him better eating habits then he wouldn't have to worry about cholesterol at least not at this age. I'm so worried about losing weight and eating healthy for myself that I have never thought about what my very skinny children eat. I was skinny once too. I just hope I haven't damaged them too much. I hope its not too late to teach them to eat healthy so they can live long healthy lives and not worry about being over or under weight and to not worry about things like cholesterol. I know its not my fault that he has to be on this medication or that he has this side effect but I should have taught them better. I guess I better start now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEGALLYBLONDE81 2/11/2011 10:52PM

    He may need to start eating like a swimmer or long distance runner - lots and lots of carbs. If you've ever watched a swimmer polish off two large plates of spaghetti for dinner, the image will stick with you!!

Good luck.

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BAILEYS7OF9 2/11/2011 11:33AM

    Hopefully he is open to learning.

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NATPLUMMER 2/11/2011 10:54AM

    It is sad that the side effects of the meds for bi-polar disorder include high cholesterol and hypertension.
I don't think his eating habits are to blame for the cholesterol.

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MUSHROOMSTEW 2/11/2011 9:51AM

    What a heart-felt blog! It's never too late to start a new habit.

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GABBIEGIRL614 2/11/2011 1:06AM

    It'll be easier for him to learn now than in 20 years when he's even more set in his ways. *hugs* You'll get through this.

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APIRLRAIN888 2/11/2011 12:47AM

    never to late to learn

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Body needs rest but mind is ready

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

It is always difficult when your mind and body can't agree. Fighting this cold totally sucks. I've hung out in bed all day emptying out my DVR and playing on my laptop. All the while I listen to the wind picking up and thinking about how if the weather turns bad there's no way I'll get my run in tomorrow. My mind is clear and eager to get up and move but my head gets dizzy and my body is weak. I want to run, I want to exercise but I need to rest so here I sit under the covers watching Wipeout and waiting for Biggest Loser to come on. I figure I'm getting better since my appetite is back so I'm pleased with that but I'm worried about losing any training before my 5K on the 27th. I keep reminding myself that bronchitis or pneumonia will set me back further than one day missed due to a cold and the weather. I figure if tomorrow is a no go I'll go out on Thursday to do W7D2 and then do day 3 on Saturday still giving me rest days in between and getting me back on track on Monday for Week 8.

I'm just going crazy laying here doing nothing and then I think well I'll do my strength training but just getting up to go to the bathroom is so exhausting. I know I'm doing the right thing but it is difficult when your mind and body do not agree. I guess its kind of like running sometimes your mind says you can't do it but your body is perfectly capable or the other way around when your body is tired but your mind pushes on.

One thing is weird and that is that I've been feeling very dehydrated even though I've been drinking a ton of water. I have nothing better to do so I just keep drinking water but it seems to be having the opposite effect. Can you tell I'm a big baby when I'm sick? I feel like I'm whining and complaining. I'm making my teenagers take care of me for a change but I'm still stuck taking care of the three year old. LOL No but seriously I just think its strange that I'm feel dehydrated. Hmm now I'm repeating myself okay maybe my mind isn't as sharp as I thought. Okay time for some dinner and Nyquil and some needed rest.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAILEYS7OF9 2/9/2011 2:21PM

    so agree on this. But let your body rest.

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EUPHMOM 2/9/2011 9:20AM

    As hard as it is to sit it out, I think you're making the right decision. The weather sucks again so you need to just recover some more. And I agree with Skeeter - you need to make sure it's not the flu.

Get better soon!

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NATPLUMMER 2/8/2011 10:50PM

    Yes, you are doing the right thing by resting. If you get up and feel exhausted and dizzy then you definitely need the rest. I think that holding off until Thursday for your next run is probably a good idea. It'll give you at least one more day to get better.
If you're feeling dehydrated, then just keep drinking. Your body obviously needs it. Being hungry is good. Have some dinner and get some sleep. I hope you feel a lot better in the morning.

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RACHA7 2/8/2011 8:06PM

    Having a cold really sucks, especially when there are important things that need to get done. Hang in there. Hope you feel better soon and do well in your race!!

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SKEETER13887 2/8/2011 8:06PM

    While there are studies that show exercising while you have a cold may help boost your immune system it is usually best to listen to your body and return to exercising when there is no danger of further stressing your body. You might also want to ensure that what you have is a cold and not the flu!

Good luck and I hope you are feeling better soon!

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Monday, February 07, 2011

Just a quick update on W7D1. I woke up feeling pretty good today and figured I must have done a good job taking medicine and getting to bed early last night. I had a slight cough but nothing I couldn't handle. I took some Dayquil to continue staving off the coming cold and went ahead to do my daily workout. My head felt a little stuffy while doing my warm up but I figured I'd just go out and run and see how it went. I warmed up and went out. It was nice and in the mid 40's so I just had my running pants and a short sleeved t-shirt on. It was a little chilly during my warm up walk but nothing too bad especially when I was in sun.

When I started running I thought how tired I was and that there was no way I was going to make it through the next 2.5 miles. I had chosen a new route for the day and by the time I hit the mile mark I had gotten into my groove. I wasn't thinking about my breathing or being tired I was just going and feeling good. I followed along the new route I planned and it was a motivator because the area was new and I had no idea what was around the next turn. There were no sidewalks which I'm used to running on so I was running in the grass but that is okay since my upcoming race is on gravel trails. I am always a little worried when I run off road since I'm a bit of a klutz and worried about tripping. I figure I need the practice though.

By about mile two I ended up back on a road I recognized and continued following my planned route. Then I found that going down one road I had planned was not going to work because it is gated off. So around mile two I had to turn around and go a different route. For some reason this threw me off and I really started feeling the fatigue. I checked the time (which I never do) and saw I had over 5 minutes left. I thought about how many times I had run 5 minutes before and that I had made it through the 25 minute run on Friday. I kept going and even though I was checking the clock every 45 seconds I made it through to the end. I don't know if it was because I don't feel all that great or if it was just hard today. Either way I'm glad I made it through. I ended up going 2.77 miles which included my warm up and cool down walks. It took 38 minutes and I'm still doing better on my timing even though I'm not trying to speed up.

When I got back things got worse I developed a fever and spent the rest of the day freezing. After a warm shower I tried to get some house work done but really I just want to get some rest. I'm glad tomorrow is a strength training day so its a bit more relaxed than my running days. For now I'm taking Nyquil and get some sleep.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAILEYS7OF9 2/8/2011 2:36PM

    definitely don't exercise if still running the fever.. poor baby! emoticon

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HEALTHYMAMA115 2/8/2011 12:39AM

    I agree, give your body some time to rest. It can actually be detrimental to be working when your body so obviously needs to use its resources to get you over your funk. Go to sleep, get some rest (kinda wish I was sick this week so I could use that excuse). emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 2/7/2011 10:44PM

    If you're still running a fever, don't do your strength training tomorrow. Give your body a chance to get better so you'll be ready for your run on Wednesday.

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TEDDYBABE 2/7/2011 10:43PM

    Sounds like you started back a little too soon. Get better than you can ace your week 7. I got sick about the same time during c25k and so I understand your frustration.

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CHARITYLOVE79 2/7/2011 10:19PM

    here's hoping you feel much better so sorry sick!

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Year of the Rabbit

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Today my family and I went to Austin's China Town to ring in the Chinese New Year and the Year of the Rabbit. We had a late start but I figured it'd be okay but they were already started by the time we got there. There was a major crowd and we couldn't see anything. I was disappointed mostly because my 3 year old couldn't see the dragon dancers. You see his favorite show is Ni Hao Kai-Lan on Nick Jr. For those of you not familiar with preschooler programming this is a show about a little Chinese girl and her friends (a tiger, monkey, and koala) and her grandpa YeYe. The show focuses on dealing with feelings, learning about social behaviors, and about the Chinese culture. In a recent episode my son learned about the Chinese New Year and saw Kai-Lan and her friends perform as dragon dancers.

Anyway I was disappointed but we decided to go over to the supermarket and get some Pocky and Japanese sodas which are all low in fat and favorite snacks. Oh and some squid jerky yum. Well as we walked over to the supermarket we saw the dragon and lion dancers were making their way over to the market and performing again in front. We saw what we could but couldn't see very well with the crowd and there was no way to get into the market so we decided to go eat. Of course we had Korean Grill yesterday so my kids wanted something different. I was totally unprepared for making any dining out choices and was concerned.

After talking to my sister I decided on Vietnamese cuisine and we walked over to the TC Noodle House. Well one I'm not big on pasta and two I'm not big on soup so I had a real hard time deciding what to eat. They had a seven page menu so that didn't help either. I asked the waitress and she was really no help but ended up suggesting beef and broccoli over egg noodles. My children happily ate their meals of curry chicken, sesame shrimp, crab rangoon, and fried fish cakes I picked at my beef and broccoli. I just couldn't bring myself to eat something so unhealthy. I could taste the fat and grease in the meal. I ended up maybe eating 1/4 of the meal which is good because beef and broccoli is over 1000 calories with over 90 grams of fat. Okay never eating that again. Thankfully I barely touched it and only had to enter in 1/4 of a serving so it wasn't that bad although I had to be careful of my fat content for the rest of the day.

I am happy we chose that restaurant though since as we ate the owner came up and asked my daughter to move my granddaughter to the other side of the table. I thought he was concerned about her being in the path to the bathroom. Little did I know the dragon and lion dancers were about to come in and dance around the restaurant and bless the business for the new year. It was really awesome our table was right in front of the door so we were the first table the performers came to. Each dragon danced past us and a couple even pretended to eat my 3 year old and interacted with him. One of the Buddha dancers even played drum on my son-in-laws head with his fan. It was amazing and a once in a lifetime experience. My little guy was amazed and my granddaughter sat in stunned silence with a huge smile on her face.

When we went outside on our way to the supermarket for our snacks I saw the performers right outside the restaurant. My baby and I were able to see the entire performance and watch the Buddha dancers entice the dragon up a ladder to catch some lettuce. The entire performance for luck and prosperity was awesome and I really enjoyed. I'm glad my son was able to experience this real life example of the culture he's been learning about on one of his shows and it gave us a learning opportunity. My 3 year old now wants to be a dragon dancer.

So overall it was a great day and my knowledge of healthy foods kept me from making a terrible mistake at lunch but the choice also gave us a one in a lifetime experience. When I got home I enjoyed the low fat snacks from the market and Lean Cuisine pizza while we watched the Super Bowl. The only bad thing is I think I'm getting sick and I hope it doesn't effect my run tomorrow and my start of Week 7. I had a great day and now I'm going to get some rest.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EUPHMOM 2/9/2011 9:24AM

    My granddaughter watches that show and she has a book of 1000 Chinese words. Every time we see her she tells me what words mean in Chinese (jump = Chow, listen = Ting). It is amazing how much they love that show.

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NATPLUMMER 2/7/2011 7:03AM

    Beef and broccoli isn't always 1000 calories. It really depends on the restaurant.
At least it turned out to be fun at the restaurant, anyway.
Hopefully you have fought of whatever was coming on. See how you're feeling before embarking on week 7.

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TEDDYBABE 2/7/2011 6:15AM

    Wow sounds like it was a great time. Did not know all this was in Austin! Thanks for sharing.

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Facing the Real World

Saturday, February 05, 2011

I can be easy to hide in the house and eat things labeled low fat and low cal. Its easy to buy cookbooks and find recipes online to prepare that will meet your goals. But this is not reality. You can't stay in the house forever and eat the same things day in and day out. I for one could never keep that up. That kind of "diet" causes resentment and its impossible to keep up. Eventually an event will come up that involves food whether its a birthday party, wedding, family outing, or even a sporting event. The probability of never eating outside of the home is pretty slim.

This is something I came to realize early on. In fact when I started this I started with the idea that I wanted something I could sustain as a lifestyle change not as a diet. I've eaten at McDonald's, Taco Bell, and Wendy's since starting and have never gone over my daily nutrition (except 3 carbs one time) but these are easy. These restaurants are all over the place and finding nutritional values and healthier choices is fairly easy. In fact, in some ways its easier than preparing a recipe and way easier than modifying a recipe to make it healthier. What's not easy is making healthy choices at obscure restaurants or when eating food that is not an everyday fare. This is something that will come up no matter how far into your plan you are.

Today was my first time having to face unknown nutritional values for foods that are not common. I went to one of my favorite restaurants called Korean Grill which is in Austin's China Town. I've been to this restaurant several times and the owners recognized me and my family right away. Its nice to go to a small family owned place that serves traditional food. Well its traditional for Korea but not necessarily for here. Well for me I love Korean food. Kimchi of all sorts is a favorite that I've enjoyed since I was a child. This restaurant serves several kinds of kimchi and bulgogi which is what I always get. However, I never stopped to wonder or ask about nutritional values in this food.

Being faced with this problem was a personal choice. My family was going the Korean Grill and either I could stay home or I could go and eat at one of my favorite places. For the first time I decided that I could be human and if I failed for one day then that would be okay. I did look before hand for nutritional information for bulgogi and kimchi and found that it wasn't that bad. In fact other than sodium Korean food is fairly good for you. What wasn't good for me was the non diet Dr Pepper I had with my meal. I haven't drank non diet soda in a long time (unless it was at a fast food place) and had never paid attention to the calories and such in a can of soda. OMG 150 calories for one can of soda! I am glad that this is not my normal choice of drinks and next time I will make a better drink choice.

Overall, I had a wonderful lunch with my favorite kinds of kimchi and my seafood bulgogi. I truly love this restaurant and if anyone is in the Austin area I highly recommend it. The owners are wonderful and if you like something a lot theyll bring you more free of charge. Excellent food, excellent service, and not a bad choice for eating healthy. Just stay away from the regular soda!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    It's important to allow yourself to be "normal" once and awhile. Just don't skip a beat afterwards and keep truckin! Is this the center on North Lamar?? I eat outside of home on occasion and just try to make the best absolute decision that I can. This morning I woke up with a cold and decided not to cook. Went to McDonalds and picked up an oatmeal without the brown sugar, and a small caramel mocha(nonfat milk). I know it wasn't the best possible option but I'm allowing myself this treat. I've tracked it and have planned the rest of my day around it.

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NATPLUMMER 2/6/2011 12:42AM

    OOoohh, I haven't had Korean food in forever. It sounds soooooo good. I'll have to have some soon. It is actually pretty healthy except for the sodium. Now you know about the non-diet soda.

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