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Failing on Food

Saturday, February 05, 2011

For the past month I've been so good eating low fat, low cal, good protein, and not sacrificing. Well I didn't think I was sacrficing. I still had McDonald's occassionally although I haven't had a quarter pounder or mushroom swiss angus burger and I still have my chai tea latter (non fat of course) I have even found a way to keep pizza in my meal plans (thanks to Hungry Girl). For some reason this week I've struggled. I have not gone over or under but it seems to be getting harder. I don't want to measure anymore, I don't want to eat oatmeal while the rest of the family has pancakes and sausauge. I don't want to eat an apple while the family enjoys carrot cake. I guess maybe I'm getting lazy. I long for the ease of frozen microwave meals and prepackaged breakfasts. Having been aneorexic for a long time I got into the mode where I'm lazy about food. Food makes you fat so why would I go out of my way to get it. Of course I know that food is not the enemy and without I would never be able to run let alone live a healthy in general lifestyle.

So why do I not want to eat? I love running. I'm thrilled with having lost 5 pounds and honestly quite a bit of foods taste really good. I like that when I'm hungry I can eat and when I have a craving I can find a healthy way of getting it. It just takes so long. It takes forever to use the recipe calculator and I'm not even sure I'm doing it correctly so I stick to items like sandwiches, wraps, and single servings items that I can easily calculate for one person.

Its not just food either. Twice this week I have skipped my strength training. Not because I don't want to do it but because by the time I get around to it I'm tired and want to go to bed and its late. I haven't been doing any extra cardio and have pretty much just been running. I'm doing really well in my running and I feel great about that but I'm short on something or another every day and have to figure out what to eat to make all my goals. I'm either eating too high in carbs leaving me short on fat or too high in fat leaving me short on calories. I have somehow lost my balance and am not sure how to get it back. I'm afraid my slipping will lead to my failing which will lead to my stopping. I am happy with what I've accomplished and I would like to step it up and do more. I know I have more in me and I feel like I'm being lazy. I'm just not sure how to step it back up and refocus. I guess I'll just have to think about it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAILEYS7OF9 2/5/2011 6:52PM

    sometimes your body just needs a rest, you are throwing a lot at it at once. Maybe scale back just a little and see if that helps.

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FITFABJENN 2/5/2011 11:33AM

    Actually, most of my daily food is premeasured, prepackaged, single-serving versions because I just don't like the time it takes to measure everything either. I generally leave that for dinner time, when I usually cook from a healthy recipe. I'm sure this "slump" will pass.

Do you have your goals written down somewhere where you can see them every day? Maybe it's time to refocus...

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NATPLUMMER 2/5/2011 9:45AM

    I feel you. I also get into the same "funk". Like SBATES said, it will pass.
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SBATES63 2/5/2011 7:18AM

    I get tired of being "good" too. I get tired of getting up at 5:30 to run, or do my strength training. But if I start eating crap and not exercise I don't feel good anymore and that gets me back on track, slowly but surely. This slump will pass. Trust me.

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Reflections for my first month...

Thursday, February 03, 2011

I started with Spark on the 3rd of January and here it is the 2nd of February so officially 31 days. In this last 31 days I have drank at least 8 glasses of water each day which is up from maybe 8 glasses a year and I only have a few Diet Dr. Peppers a day rather than a few 1 liters a day. I have been 99% perfect on my nutritional goals however, on one day I was under by 3 carbs and few days ago I was over 3 carbs so I guess it all balanced out in the end. For the most part I think I have been making positive food choices although it is still weird to me that I can pretty much eat whatever I want as long as I watch my portions. There have a been a couple days when I ended up hungry because I made higher calorie choices and ended up getting less food for the day but thankfully I've learned some valuable lessons over this last month.

Weight wise I have lost 5 pounds going from 158 to 153. This is pretty much all the weight I gained when I quit smoking but that's okay since I'm glad that I only gained five pounds when I quit and that now I'll get rid of all the weight I gained 15 years ago when I had my son. I often hear people say they want to lose the weigh they gained when they had their child well I did that easily after I had my daughter who was my first. However, after I gained 50 pounds with my second child (first son) I have never been able to go back. I've been heavier than I was when I started and I have been lighter than now but I've never officially lost the weight I gained 15 years ago. Even after I had my baby who is now 3 I went back to the weight I was when I had my middle child. As my son turns 16 in June I will be back to my pre teenager weight. Well actually I won't go that low but I will definitely be at my goal weight.

Exercise wise I think I've come to an understanding with myself. It is okay to take days off and okay to allow myself to rest. Part of living a healthy life is giving my body what it needs and that includes rest and recovery. I have also discovered that when my body wants to work out I need to listen. I had a very rough day today because I was upset about not being able to run due to the weather. I couldn't sleep last night knowing it was going to be too cold to run and I spent most of the day looking out the window wondering if I could at least try to run. I had a terrible fight with my 19 year old daughter and ended up being very angry and sad most of the day. I even had to force myself to eat lunch since I'm the type to stop eating when I get upset. Anyway I waited until 5:00 but I had to go. I warmed up nicely using my light kickboxing routine and made sure to dress in layers. I had everything as warm as possible from the inside out. To tell you the truth it wasn't that bad even though it was 20 degrees with a wind chill of 11. I didn't care I needed the release, I needed the time to think and relax and I guess chill (for lack of a better word). I had trouble moving as fast as I normally do and at one point I was running into the wind which was terrible on my face but I wasn't really cold. I felt a bit stiff but I really did need it for my mind and soul even though my body didn't move as fluidly as it does when its warmer. Mentally I needed it and I'm glad I went. I survived and even if I hadn't I would have died happy. It was kind of funny all the looks I got though. I was able to finish W6D2 and considering the weather and the stiffness the 10 minute intervals were pretty easy. I think as long as I'm not frozen solid on Friday (Its supposed to warm up to the 50s again) I should be able to do the 25 minute run to finish out week 6 easily. Oh wow I just thought of something I'm done with the intervals. Today was my last interval run its all straight running from here on out. Wow that's pretty awesome!

Well over this next month I'm looking forward to getting under 150 which will mean I'm officially at a healthy BMI. I will finish the C25K program and on the 27th will run my first 5K. I have already registered and am committed and very excited about running it. I will continue to eat well and drink all my water and hopefully will start seeing some changes in the way my pants fit and will continue to get more room in the sleeves of my shirt. Overall this last month has been great healthy wise and I know the next one will too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EUPHMOM 2/3/2011 8:34PM

   
emoticon What a huge inspiration you are! What a great job!!! emoticon

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FITFABJENN 2/3/2011 6:09PM

    Way to go on your first month! emoticon

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BAILEYS7OF9 2/3/2011 4:55PM

    emoticon emoticon
great job!!! Keep it up and the pounds will be off!
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RRFIT72 2/3/2011 12:33PM

    Congrats on an emoticon January!! Are you running the Advocare 5k at the end of Feb? If so, ME TOO!! :)

Cheers to another GREAT MONTH!

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MUSHROOMSTEW 2/3/2011 9:44AM

    Congrats on such an awesome first month!!

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NATPLUMMER 2/3/2011 9:21AM

    You have accomplished a lot in your first month!
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Motivated? Well Kind Of...

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

My last two runs were amazingly awesome. I made it through W5D3 and a 20 minute straight run and on Monday was great since I was able to start working on my different paces. I have also officially signed up for my first 5K. It is on the 27th so I will have just finished the program but I'm not worried about it I'm sure I can do it even if I don't get a great time. Finishing is what's important. I'm totally excited about it and can't wait.

So why am I only kind of motivated? The weather! I live in Texas for a reason and that reason is I don't like the cold! It is seriously cold for Austin standards and that wind cuts through all the layers like a sword!! My run days are Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays which means tomorrow when we have a high of 20 with a wind chill making it feel like 5 degrees I'm supposed to be out running. I do not want to miss out on my run. I love running and I know I will feel lost if I don't run tomorrow besides I officially have a race to train for. Ugh but it's going to be so cold. emoticon It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't going to be windy but it is and so I'm worried. I guess I'll have to dress in layers and warm up real well before I leave.

So all of you who live in always cold places how do you stay motivated? How do you keep to a schedule and go on runs when it's zero degrees outside? What about my fellow Texans do you still venture outside when the weather gets like this?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EUPHMOM 2/2/2011 9:13AM

    I'm with you on the cold. The wind gusts are still 20 mph here. If you do decide to run please be very careful. One day of changing really won't hurt anything but falling or tearing something because you're too cold can do serious damage.



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GABBIEGIRL614 2/2/2011 12:17AM

    Yay for great runs! I hear you. I live in California for a reason too! :) Of course, I have yet to run outdoors....I want to build up on the treadmill first...plus it's dark right now after I get home from work - my normal gym time. I can't wait for it to be light still after work so we can run while my son rides his bike.
Congrats on the 5k too! My first one will probably be in late April or early May. I'm not sure which one I want to do first yet.
Keep it up girlie! You're doing awesome!!

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ELIZAGETTINGFIT 2/1/2011 11:28PM

    I can barely even make it to the gym in this cold weather let alone actually do something outside! I think the wind is way too strong for a run though. Perhaps you can do stuff inside like jumping jacks, leg step ups, butt kicks, high kicks, etc that'll improve your running??

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CAMILLEMANS 2/1/2011 10:53PM

    Congrats on signing up for your race. When it's this cold out you might want to re-think going out tomorrow. The cold can do bad things to your muscles. I don't want you to get hurt and than can't continue to train next week. Perhaps alter your running plans with something to do inside or put it off. Good luck with your running.

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NATPLUMMER 2/1/2011 10:43PM

    Sorry, I can't help you with the cold situation. I do think layers would be the way to go. Good luck!!

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My Life...Complaining or Bragging?

Sunday, January 30, 2011

The last thing I want to do is irritate people with my constant complaining and negative attitude. I've been told my entire life that I have a defeatist attitude even when I felt particularly positive. I'm not sure why this is or if I come across as complaining even when I don't think I am. I guess I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to say and what I am not. I try to live by the the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" motto but then I get accused of keeping my feelings bottled up and not talking about stuff. So which is it? Are you supposed to talk about your problems or not. If you talk about them are you complaining or are you venting? I'm just not quite sure.

I've always felt that if I discuss my problems with my friends or family then I must be complaining. When I've had people in the past that I'm talking to a lot then they just stop talking to me I can't help but wonder what I did or said to turn them away. My life is like a soap opera and there aren't many good things that are going on for me right now. I live with my parents, my two oldest children do not respect me, I don't have any friends I can hang out with, I have no money, no job, more debt than I can count, etc, etc. Yeah I sound like the majority of the US (according to the news and commercials anyway). Hmm my husband left me for my ex best friend (maid of honor at our wedding), our divorce didn't go through so I'm stuck with him, I don't get any child support, and I can't have a serious relationship with anyone because I'm still technically married. Okay, okay now I'm complaining but do you see how if someone asks me about my life it may come off sounding like I'm complaining? Those are however the facts.

Okay so let's look at the other side. I have a family who cares enough to take care of me, I have a roof over my head, food, clothes (most don't fit but I'm not naked LOL), a car, a cell phone, computer, TV and more stuff than I know what to do with. I can pay all my current bill each month and have enough for gas and the occasional trip to McDonald's with the kids. My children are healthy and for the most part pretty happy. They're intelligent which they got from my side of the family. I have a degree and graduated with honors with a 3.94. I can keep looking at the bright side but then I sound like I'm bragging.

So which is it? If someone asks you how you're doing do you tell them the truth or do you sugar coat it? Is it a mixture well life sucks but it has it's good points? What is the truth? The truth is I have good and bad in my life but when someone asks what part of my life am I supposed to tell about? Yes maybe I should just say I'm fine or good but is that really the truth? I heard once that people ask you how you're doing just as a politically correct nicety but in reality no one really cares and never really listens to the answer. But is that only true for the cashier at the supermarket or the random stranger you pass on the track or does it apply to everyone even your family and friends? Is that simple question because the person really cares or wants to know or is it more because they want you to ask so they can tell someone about how terrible their life is?

Sorry I guess I was just feeling philosophical today. Perhaps I'll start a new blog theme for random thought provoking questions. Or perhaps I just think it's an interesting question and no one else really does. Hmm.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEF4RENT 1/31/2011 8:09PM

    It's definitely an interesting dilema/question. I have heard the the vast majority of the time in the US when a person says "How's it going?" They mean "Hi", whereas in Germany if you are asked "How's it going?" they mean "How's it going?" and expect an honest answer.

Personally I think it depend on the person as to whether or not they will think you are bragging or complaining. I am usually really reserved until I know what type of person you are because of this. Nothing you have mentioned above seems like either bragging or complaining. But who knows what the next person that reads it will think. It is slightly annoying...lol or not!?

Generally if I ask how you are doing I hope to get an honest answer, just as if you ask me how I am doing and I am feeling crappy I will tell ya:)

Good luck!!!!

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EUPHMOM 1/31/2011 12:45PM

    I agree with celerybear. We all need a release. You aren't complaining or bragging, you're just being you. No point in pretending that your life is perfect when you are struggling or need someone to lend an ear. My ear's always here.




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BAILEYS7OF9 1/31/2011 11:31AM

    You tell them that you're going thru a rough patch (like everyone else) but you can see the light and you are heading for it full charge ahead.

That's the truth right?

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CELERYBEAR 1/31/2011 8:43AM

    I'll tell you what one of my friends told me when I apologized for complaining about my situation. She said that I have a right to complain with the way everything has gone in my life and the only time she or anyone of my friends would get sick of hearing it is if I wasn't trying to make everything better. So the day you give up on yourself is the day you have to quit complaining. Up till then its a release and need to lean on someone and we all have those times.

Like me, you're lucky and fortunate in a lot of ways, but life still did take a very unexpected and hard to deal with turn. I know that calling up one of my friends when something goes wrong makes it feel so much better. So there should be no shame in utilizing those who care about us.

p.s. you can always feel free to complain to me.

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ELIZAGETTINGFIT 1/30/2011 11:14PM

    Good blog...I think about this as well. My life isn't what everything thinks it is either. I sugar coat when people ask because I don't want to sound like I'm either complaining or want their sympathy. Things aren't good for us right now, but I'm so upbeat and happy that it's easy to hide. I'm getting to the point where I want to go see my counselor again. Anyway, I think you should say you're fine mostly. But make sure to have that 1 person that will hear you out without running away. I have a lot of friends that I say "we're so good", and quickly change the topic. But there's this 1 friend that I can complain to because she complains too:-). It works out...we have each other.

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NATPLUMMER 1/30/2011 10:45PM

    Life is a mixture of the goods and the bads. If someone is your friend, then they really do want to know the good and the bad.

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SUNNYBUNNY112 1/30/2011 9:47PM

    this was a very interesting blog...and i totally see where you are coming from...i think it kinda depends on who is asking you (stranger,old friend,new friend, family,doctor) i think depending on the relationship and history...kinda depends how much you divulge or what you divulge...I think also what you say depends on that person history...does that make sense? hmmm

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W5D3 (I DID IT!!!)

Friday, January 28, 2011

The dreaded 20 minute run. The impossible day without any walking intervals. The day I have dreaded and allowed to throw me out of whack for two weeks. Today was that day. I had a long talk with my sister (she introduced me to C25K) about this dreaded day and through her encouragement (which came in the form of "you're not going to die so you better try") and that of my many Spark Friends I woke up with somewhat of a confident nature today. I was still intimidated but I finally realized "so what if I don't make it, I have to at least try or I really will be a failure" so I decided I was going to run as far as I could and accept my fate.

After my normal warmup I headed out. This was one of those days when I love living in Austin. It was beautiful with crystal clear skies, slight breeze (which was nice to keep me cooled down), and already heading up to the high of 73 today. I had on my running pants and a t-shirt no jacket needed today. It was the perfect day to tackle my fears. While I took each step toward the end of my warm up walk I thought about all the times in my life when I had faced difficulty. All the fights I had and never gave up. Puke I had just quit smoking after 23 years what's a 20 minute run compared to that?

The timer dinged and off I went. Nice steady pace, focus on my form, nice steady breathing just like any other run. First I hit the spot where I would have needed to stop and walk during week 2. Then the spot when I was in week 3. I just kept going thinking of all the times I had needed to walk in the past. Finally I reached the point where I had stopped on Wednesday at the end of my first 8 minute run. I ran right past it, then past the point where I had started my second 8 minute run, past the point that I normally finished and started my cool down walk. It was at this point that I looked at my timer and saw I had 4 minutes left! Four minutes that's it!! I was so amazed that I almost started crying. But no I couldn't stop yet I had four minutes left. I ran past my street and kept going finishing up further than ever before.

As the timer dinged to tell me it was time to cool down I felt my legs were jelly beneath me. I had done it I had run 20 minutes and probably could have kept going. I had feared this day for nothing. I was ready and all I had to do was believe in myself. These last 5 weeks have been like an amazing climb and now it just seems like it's all downhill from here. I was able to run 20 minutes straight. Week 6 has more intervals. Not a problem. Day 3 is a 25 minute run. What's 25 minutes just 5 more than today. I have got this and I am a RUNNER!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EUPHMOM 1/31/2011 12:37PM

    I told you!!! Congrats!!!!

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BAILEYS7OF9 1/31/2011 11:34AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

TOLD YOU SO!!! Now everything else on the C25K will be easy!!!

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FITFABJENN 1/29/2011 3:47PM

    Yea, you are awesome! Congratulations on conquering your fears and making it happen.

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ANEPANALIPTI 1/29/2011 2:37PM

    I am SO proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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BUGSMOM211 1/29/2011 2:00PM

    You are so emoticon I knew you could do it, that mental game that running plays with us did not beat you!!! emoticon


High Five Buddy! emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 1/28/2011 11:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARLYF1 1/28/2011 11:30PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MAGGIENCALI 1/28/2011 10:54PM

    Yay you!!!! emoticon :)

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TIGGER33079 1/28/2011 10:28PM

    Good Job!

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