Sunday, January 30, 2011
The last thing I want to do is irritate people with my constant complaining and negative attitude. I've been told my entire life that I have a defeatist attitude even when I felt particularly positive. I'm not sure why this is or if I come across as complaining even when I don't think I am. I guess I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to say and what I am not. I try to live by the the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" motto but then I get accused of keeping my feelings bottled up and not talking about stuff. So which is it? Are you supposed to talk about your problems or not. If you talk about them are you complaining or are you venting? I'm just not quite sure.
I've always felt that if I discuss my problems with my friends or family then I must be complaining. When I've had people in the past that I'm talking to a lot then they just stop talking to me I can't help but wonder what I did or said to turn them away. My life is like a soap opera and there aren't many good things that are going on for me right now. I live with my parents, my two oldest children do not respect me, I don't have any friends I can hang out with, I have no money, no job, more debt than I can count, etc, etc. Yeah I sound like the majority of the US (according to the news and commercials anyway). Hmm my husband left me for my ex best friend (maid of honor at our wedding), our divorce didn't go through so I'm stuck with him, I don't get any child support, and I can't have a serious relationship with anyone because I'm still technically married. Okay, okay now I'm complaining but do you see how if someone asks me about my life it may come off sounding like I'm complaining? Those are however the facts.
Okay so let's look at the other side. I have a family who cares enough to take care of me, I have a roof over my head, food, clothes (most don't fit but I'm not naked LOL), a car, a cell phone, computer, TV and more stuff than I know what to do with. I can pay all my current bill each month and have enough for gas and the occasional trip to McDonald's with the kids. My children are healthy and for the most part pretty happy. They're intelligent which they got from my side of the family. I have a degree and graduated with honors with a 3.94. I can keep looking at the bright side but then I sound like I'm bragging.
So which is it? If someone asks you how you're doing do you tell them the truth or do you sugar coat it? Is it a mixture well life sucks but it has it's good points? What is the truth? The truth is I have good and bad in my life but when someone asks what part of my life am I supposed to tell about? Yes maybe I should just say I'm fine or good but is that really the truth? I heard once that people ask you how you're doing just as a politically correct nicety but in reality no one really cares and never really listens to the answer. But is that only true for the cashier at the supermarket or the random stranger you pass on the track or does it apply to everyone even your family and friends? Is that simple question because the person really cares or wants to know or is it more because they want you to ask so they can tell someone about how terrible their life is?
Sorry I guess I was just feeling philosophical today. Perhaps I'll start a new blog theme for random thought provoking questions. Or perhaps I just think it's an interesting question and no one else really does. Hmm.....
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