Thursday, February 13, 2014
I am not ready to say it. But the title is so true. I will say what's eating me. Soon.
Sunday, February 09, 2014
After yesterday's fitness "blitz" and full day of activities, I woke today feeling rather wiped out. My back is stiff, and can barely bend straight over. The fitness motivator I usually feel pushing me on seems to be depleted. It is hard to find the necessary gumption to get a few steps in on the treadmill. Perhaps I am a little lonely after our company left, and perhaps a little blue from the slight fall-out with my friend. In any case, it seems difficult to WANT to do anything today! Even church seemed a little "different." Maybe all of this is just due to fatigue. In any case, I can't decide whether to push or to just be still. All combined, I would say this is the kind of day that baffles me! I never know what I need on a day like this! Maybe a few minutes on the treadmill will cheer me up...we'll see.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
It is great to be back here! RA, and Crohn's had me on steroids for months and to add to my troubles, I gained weight. It was all about to get to me, and then I remembered Sparkpeople! The weight is coming off and I am glad to feel in control again. It is great to read about others. For some reason, as my health troubles mounted, I didn't take the effort to come here. I have missed everyone!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
This was a great weekend to make a quick assessment. Unexpectedly we drove to our country home and going home always provides perspective and a chance to hear yourself think.
I haven't been to sparkpeople in a long time, but this weekend was a good time to check in. Looking back to the last time I wrote a blog entry was quite instructive. I remember being so frustrated in 2008. The frustration caused serious change: I hit the gym regularly, went to lots of fitness classes, got serious about my nutrition and at one point I thought I had IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
Intermittent trouble became more than that. At first it was subtle...kind of cramping in abdomen, then later more symptoms appeared until it was difficult to remain in yoga classes. Eager to sort out the problem, I started asking teachers for suggestions. Long story short: symptoms worsened until finally I (embarrassed)dropped out of all classes. I tried to remain consistent in gym attendance until eventually I quit lifting weights. Finally, even running on treadmill became a nightmare.
Last summer a crisis of sorts...and ended in me being diagnosed with celiac intolerance. Oh, my weight was down, but who wants to be thin and unable to eat almost anything? Medications helped and eventually a change of diet restored almost everything. But unfortunately, that wasn't the end of the problems.
Suffice it to say, I'm ready to put all that behind and move forward now. It has been a long road. The best thing is I can remember February 2008 and what a difference just a few months of focusing on my weight made! The summer of 2008 became one of the happiest, most productive summers of my life. And it all started with being frustrated and ready to change.
That is where I am again. And Tuesday, after our return from the middle of nowhere, God willing, I'll be back at the gym, ready to start over. And yes, I'll dutifully weigh myself Tuesday morning.
This time, though, I hope I'll be more faithful to write down some of the details of the journey back . Looking back, during that summer I ran 13.3 miles one day...and I want to do it all again. Step by step as I became stronger physically, I became more content. That contentment is what I desire most. And the running free, sweat pouring off my face, and having the time of my life--I NEED THAT. And finding friends along the way to share it with...I can't wait. Surely it can all happen again!
Friday, February 01, 2008
Well, it was time to GET REAL. So I did it. Got on the almighty scales and almost fainted!
Too many injuries, symptoms, holidays, long work days, snacks, excuses.
Reality: I hit the highest weight in several years. Still cannot believe what a few months "off" will do! Time to be serious--but must make it a game at the same time.
LOVE/HATE this feeling. Now it is time to get in gear, but a little fear creeps in at the same time! WHAT IF? What if I gain more weight? What if my ankle doesn't let me run? What if my joints don't hold up? What if...what if I succeed?
Feeling convicted, as I have been reading book about how our culture is poisoning all of us, and I must say, I have been a willing participant to swallowing lots of poison. I guess because I had really gotten into such good shape, I guess I gave myself permission to lay off a while and eat anything I wanted. Who can figure what goes through your mind when you aren't thinking?
It is something to finally realize one is just like everyone else, and NOT SPECIAL! I must pay the consequences, just like everyone else! That's where the poison comes in; we all want what we WANT--NOW, no less, but many of us are unwilling to pay for what we want! Is that who I have become?
OK, enough blathering on. Time to get busy and finish my work day and then head to the gym.
Here's praying things change NOW.
Get An Email Alert Each Time LULUGIRL Posts