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The Reset Button

Friday, November 16, 2012

I've been in a funk for months. Part of it is unrelated to my weight and is related to depression. I've been dealing with that, and I've tried to separate it from my healthy lifestyle but it is interrelated.

And as a result my weight has crept up a little during this funk. Instead of letting it get me down though, I've decided to keep moving forward.

Last night as I was browsing Facebook, I came across some pictures that I was tagged in. The first one is from a couple of years ago at the science museum:



Just looking at the photo makes me feel sad. Sad, and tired. That pretty much sums up my old existence. I remember this trip, and I remember my knees and hips aching just from walking around. I also remember having a stomach ache. Probably from some junk I ate that day. I don't even remember what it was I ate. So it was obviously not worth it.

Then I came upon a couple of pictures from this past summer. The first is from my niece's birthday party:



And the other is a trip to the lake. Here I am holding a different niece:



Both of these are near my lowest weight. I felt happier then. Not only because of the weight, but my depression was under control then and I was actively living my life.

I am going to get back there again. It feels almost as if a reset button has been pushed. I will get the meds adjusted again and fight off the depression. I'm close to that point - I can feel it on the edge of my conciousness.

I am going to stop beating myself up for backtracking and using it as an excuse to slip into bad habits. I'm probably only ~12 lb over what I was in those pictures. But more than the number, I want that feeling again. Where I had energy and I was starting to build up some more confidence.

Today is a new day, I am resetting everything. No more failures to drag me down. No more excuses for bad decisions. From now on I choose to be the person from the second and third pictures.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOBF15 11/24/2012 10:06AM

    Hope this poem posts. I love it. It is called "The Land of Beginning Again"

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The Land of Beginning Again

I wish that there were some wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door,
And never be on again.

I wish we could come on it all unaware,
Like the hunter who finds a lost trail;
And i wish that the one whom our blindness had done
The greatest injustice of all
Could be at the gates like an old friend that waits
For the comrade he's gladdest to hail.

We would find all the things we intended to do
But forgot, and remembered too late,
Little praises unspoken, little promises broken,
And all of the thousand and one
Little duties neglected that might have perfected
The day for one less fortunate.

It wouldn't be possible not to be kind
In the Land of Beginning Again;
And the ones we misjudged and the ones
whom we grudged
Their moments of victory here
Would find in the grasp of our loving handclasp
More than penitent lips could explain.

For what had been hardest we'd know had been best,
And what had seemed loss would be gain;
For there isn't a sting that will not take wing
When we've faced it and laughed it away;
And i think that the laughter is most what we're after
In the Land of Beginning Again.

So i wisht that there were some wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all of our poor selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door,
And never be put on again.

Louisa Fletcher

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ANOTHERMOMOF2 11/16/2012 4:19PM

    Good for you! I hope the depression gets under control soon. That's no fun, I know. Hang in there!

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LJCANNON 11/16/2012 12:36PM

    emoticon Awesome!! There is no "Easy" Button, but the 'Reset' Button works just fine!!

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Pictures from Yesterday's Race

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Here are some pictures from yesterday! It really was a great day.

First, my girls were asked to hold the flag for the National Anthem. They are so cute!







Here's me just before the race. I think I'm looking pretty good, except for the muffin top. Need to do something about that. emoticon



Let the race begin!!!!



Coming in for the finish....






Now I can't wait for the next run!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2KITTIES 8/27/2012 9:37PM

    emoticon

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ANOTHERMOMOF2 8/27/2012 7:02AM

    How fun that your girls were there to support you!

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PAMATX 8/26/2012 8:34PM

    Great job! Yay! Kiddos are cute.

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My one year Race-iversary!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

This morning I ran a 5k at the local park. It is the same 5k I ran last year. My first 5k, in fact!

Last year I couldn't run the whole time but I did this year! Last year I finished in 39:40 or so but this year I think my time was around 31:47. So much difference a year makes!

I was really disappointed that I didn't make the 30 minute mark, but I averaged a 10 minute mile. And it's a new PR for me, so I am happy with that. This is actually one of the harder courses I have ran, with lots of hills and turns so I am sure I will get closer to 30 minutes soon.

I have some pictures but I will have to add those later.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMATX 8/26/2012 1:44PM

    That's great! Super duper progress!

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ANOTHERMOMOF2 8/26/2012 8:27AM

    Happy Anniversary! Good job on the run.

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RUNHAPPEE 8/26/2012 12:13AM

    Good job!

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LALMEIDA 8/25/2012 9:10PM

  emoticon

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GONE-BIKING 8/25/2012 8:57PM

    What a milestone! The fact that you are still running a year later is a big achievement. To have increased your speed is icing on the cake. You should be proud of yourself--I am! emoticon

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Half Marathon Training - Week 5

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

I am on week 5 of the HM training, although I've been at it for about 7 weeks now.

My knee is bothering me a little. It started after yoga yesterday. It felt okay when I woke up at 5, so I ran anyway but slowed down slightly. It felt irritated enough that I needed Aleve after my run but I don't really see a lot of swelling or anything. I am going to go ahead and go to kettle bells at lunch unless it starts to feel worse.

Tomorrow is a no run day, I only have yoga on the calendar. So maybe that is enough of a rest.

I'm such a wimp that I'm not even 1/2 way through the training program and I am starting to feel pain. I guess it's a reminder that I am now in the 30+ crowd.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANOTHERMOMOF2 8/15/2012 12:30PM

    Hope it's going well this week!

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TBOURLON 8/8/2012 9:34AM

    Hang in there! emoticon emoticon

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2BEEANEWME 8/7/2012 1:32PM

    You're not giving up, so you're NOT a wimp. Keep doing what you are doing!! A couple of years ago while training for a half I too did yoga and irritate my knee...I kept pushing and didn't do yoga again...I stretched more until it was bothering me anymore. Good luck, have fun training and smile.

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Today I am sore

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

So I still haven't given up on the 1/2 marathon idea. I'm in week 4 of Hal Higdon's 12 week program. The HM I want to do is October 7 so I still have room to repeat a couple of weeks here and there as it gets harder.

Yesterday I got up at 5, ran 3.5 miles, went to work, took a lunch break for a 30 minute kettle bells class (this is the weight training component of my HM program), went back to work, then came home, made dinner, ate, and jumped in the pool with the family for a while.

It was a terrific day but I am paying for it today! Not terribly sore but enough to notice and I feel tired too.

On the weight loss side of things, I now have about 14/15 pounds to lose to hit my goal. The HM isn't really helping, because it is making me hungrier and my calorie intake has crept up. I think I need to go back to tracking every morsel of food that goes into my mouth.

It's so hard though! But it works for me, so I think I need to do it even though I don't want to! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANOTHERMOMOF2 7/27/2012 10:58AM

    Sounds like you are doing good. Keep it up!

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ANOTHERMOMOF2 7/27/2012 10:58AM

    Sounds like you are doing good. Keep it up!

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TBOURLON 7/26/2012 9:11AM

    Yeah, I'm trying to get ready for the Zombie Run and I'm so NOT dieting! I don't really want to cut calories so much as just eat better, and I'm not even doing THAT! I had to force myself to exercise last night on the elliptical, and my tummy was a little upset so I haven't done any core work in a week. I just feel beat up - and I know improving my diet would probably help alot.

Hey, good luck on that 1/2 marathon! emoticon emoticon

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BUSYGRANNY5 7/26/2012 8:29AM

    You're doing awesome!!!! Keep on keeping on!!

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BESCATS 7/25/2012 8:01PM

    Sounds like an awesome day. Congratulations on your 90 lbs. weight loss. So close to that GOAL, what a wonderful feeling. emoticon emoticon

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