Thursday, April 25, 2013
We have Mother moved into her new home and are now unpacking and sorting everything. Packing up my sisters house now. :) This is proving to be a GREAT workout. When we have everything done, we will be having one heck of a rummage sale . It is going to look like a Hoarders yardsale because of downsizing two homes into one. I think it may be a good time to Spring clean my place and add some items too. LOL
Getting this all done is taking a lot of stress away. Hugs and everyone enjoy the wonderful weekend weather we have coming our way FINALLY.
Scale is STILL not moving but I am down a pants size. I'll take that. :)
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Prayers for all of our friends to the South caught in that horrible ice storm! And for those across the State that are dealing with all the snow and ice, praying your power stays on and you stay safe if you have to travel. So far, the NE has been spared. Here, all we have had is a dusting of a few inches of snow. This has to be horrendous for all the farmers and ranchers who are trying to take care of their Spring babies that are now arriving.
I am now heading out the door to go to my Mothers for the night. Tomorrow, GOD willing, the moving truck for the large furniture items will be there. I will be offline for a few days as we unpack her in the home she purchased in town. No internet connection. :)
The scale still is not moving and I am so OK with that because....I feel GOOD...nada nada, na. :) The new thyroid levels are really helping so much.
Monday, April 08, 2013
Of course, we all know about the weather moving in. This is going to make moving mother out of her house on Thurs and into the new one on Fri kind of tricky. All this snow and wind may be a huge problem and we HAVE to be out by midnight Thurs.
My poor baby sister just can't catch a break. She has her car paid off in Oct, and she pulled into mothers garage and the motor made a couple of knocks, the car jumped, and she dropped all her antifreeze. I told her DON'T turn the car over again to move it out of the garage. She thinks it is a water pump that went out but that knocking noise tells me she may have thrown a rod and lost her motor. Or, perhaps a lifter went out.
Now, we need a way to haul it in Watertown to get it checked out before deciding what to do about repairs and with the ice and snow coming and the move ... I really am reaching breaking point too. Lord, they are under so much stress right now and this weather will be tying my hands too. :(
Today, I am way short on my calories. I just can't eat when stressed.
I got hold of a tow company that wanted to get her car tonight and have made arrangements for it to be dropped at a garage that Kevin and I get our repairs done at. I totally trust this guy. The Tow company did not want to do it tomorrow because of the freezing rain and snow coming into our area. One problem tackled. :(
Now, finally at almost 10 pm...I have to go out to the barn and unload some square bales of hay I just bought today for the horses. Nothing like waiting till the last minute. :)
Saturday, April 06, 2013
A dear friend on here had made this comment that she thought Cancer was Cancer and since I have so many family with cancer, I was surprised to realize how some maybe have not dealt with it more. It has become so common anymore...not like "the word" that was whispered at the kitchen table when I was a child.
Just in the thyroid alone there is:
Catpapillary Thyroid Cancer
Follicular Thyroid Cancer
Medullary Thyroid Cancer (me)
Anaplastic Cancer (me)
I was very Blessed that both were encapsulated in one of the nine nodules on my thyroid and had not migrated outside of the thyroid the way my brothers had. Now, with my brother, he has developed kidney cancer and they are running tests to determine if his Anaplastic thyroid cancer has metastasised to the kidneys or if the cancer is a new type called Renal Cell Carcinoma which will require a different treatment of chemo.
With this move for Mother...most of the work falls on me because I AM the healthiest, even having survived three types of cancer. A comment had also been made that it was a shame so many of my Relatives were ill and it was a shame they could not help. That is a truth that hurts so much and many times fills me with dread. When I have to see a new doctor, filling out the med history worksheet takes time. I'm am so proud of my family and many times in awe how they tackle their own health issues with positive attitude and determination.
Just in my immediate family:
We lost my Father to Alpha 1 disease. He never smoked a day in his life and he died from inherited Emphysema and the heart complication that go with it. He also developed a cancer of the bone called Multiple myeloma . The last eight years of his life involved sitting hooked up to oxygen and looking out the living room window. Yet, each day he shared jokes and stories and not once did I hear him cry "why me". Several of my Fathers Uncles also died from Alpha 1 and two of his sisters have it.
My Mother is losing her eyesight from Fuchs eye disease and is now a candidate for Cornea transplants. She has Severe Osteoporosis and the last three falls have resulted in bone fractures. She is in her mid 70's and I don't want her helping with anything that could result in an injury. Both of my mothers brothers (my Uncles) died of cancer...one from Lung and he was a non-smoker and the other from cancer around the heart. Her dad (my Grandfather) died of Colon cancer in his 50's.
I am the oldest brat of our pack and I have had three types of cancer and also have Fuchs eye disease. Once I am legally blind, I too can have cornea transplants. If you are going to have an eye disease...this is the one to have. We are Blessed with options for treatment. Since 1997, in a work related accident with a forklift (it won) I have been going to the Cities getting my jaw and mouth repaired. I now have my fathers square jawline back and my smile. The accident involved some nerve damage resulting in the diagnosis of Chronic Pain syndrome...a fancy way of saying Migraines and Fibromyalgia pain in the neck, shoulders and back.
My Brother: has had Bell Palsy twice and a heart attack. He developed an eye disease that required surgery on the muscles of the eyes to bring them back into the correct position. He had his thyroid removed because of cancer and it was stage four. Now , both of his kidneys have cancer and they are testing to see if his thyroid metastasised or if it is a new type of cancer. We are praying hard for the first type as Anaplastic Cancer is easily treated but Renal Cell Carcinoma is not and that is not a good prognosis.
My younger sister deals with SEVERE Fibromyalgia and has to have help from her husband getting out of bed each morning and if she sits too long..getting off the chair. Hers involves her entire body and we cannot even give her a hug. Even her skin is affected. On bad days of flareups she cannot walk. Hers results in daily headaches that make her ill. She has tried so many different treatments and pain meds and muscle relaxers but she still suffers. She also has Osteoporosis and had been told she will be in a wheelchair before she hit 50. She has proved them wrong.
My baby sister has Gastroparesis. Her stomach and small intestine are paralysed. I have been taking her to doctor appts. for the last two years before this was finally diagnosed. She is on liquids only for the rest of her life. We are looking into other treatment options which involve a pacemaker placed into the stomach or having part of the diseased stomach removed and a feeding tube inserted directly into the small intestine. She also has tested positive for Alpha 1, like our father. She has full blown Alpha 1 while the rest of us are carriers of the gene which we can pass onto our own children. She deals also with Rheumatoid Arthritis which involves her internal organs.
Almost every funeral I have attended for my extended family of Aunts, Uncles, Cousin..1rst and second...have involved cancer of one form or another or heart or lung disease.
I have an Aunt today who is battling bone cancer...a sweet woman who never drinks or smokes. Her two remaining sons live on the West Coast and fly back regularly to be there for her and their father who is now in a nursing home with Dementia. She buried two of her children to cancer. One, my cousing Dawn was six months younger then me and had just given birth to a daughter who also died of cancer at the same age as her mother. They were both 26 years old. Joyces son passed four years ago from brain tumor.
On both of my parents side...it is not IF we are going to get cancer, but when. Geneics gifted us with the cancer gene from both parents. That was how I had been feeling the last two years. My pity party of "whats the use".
My beautiful Grandmother is the only one I can say lived a long life (we lost her when she was 102 years old) and still lived in her own home and took no meds. She did not know what a headache was. I still miss her so much. Her parents, my Great-Grandparents also both lived into their hundreds. Gramps was 103 and Grams was 101. My Grandmother outlived all of her 13 siblings and not one of them died of health complications but age. None of us inherited those genes.
So, why am I putting this all out here? Because so many of you are dear friends and I don't want you thinking my family is using me or lazy etc. I am so VERY in awe of my siblings and parents. Also, my extended family. I am proud to be part of this family. I have seen by example what it means to deal and move on and have enormous fortitude and fight. I have watched and helped so many get up...go to treatment...and then go to work afterwards. I have watched and learned from all of them what it means to never give in and never give up. And from them I have kept my faith in GOD as they placed their lives in his hands and accepted "the test". And from my Grandmother Drake...I have my mantra of GOD IS GREATER THEN ANY PROBLEM I HAVE.
Do I have days I falter and whine? Damn straight! This goal of losing weight has always been about body, mind, and Soul and not about looking pretty. That boat has sailed years ago. It is my journey to good health. And there are times I have lost sight of that goal with the results of yet another test, and I let myself fall into a pity party of "what is the use". And that is when I have to step back and repeat my Mantra, and close my eyes and gather my family around me (living and gone) and tell them Thank you for showing me how to move forward.
And thank GOD for answered prayers. Think about it. What would you pray for if your child or someone you loved had cancer? You would be on your knees asking GOD to take it from them and give it too you, right? I can deal with my own battles so much easier then watching those I love go through theirs.
The first cancer that I was diagnosed with in '98 scared me. I had Uterine cancer and was given a prognosis of three to five years even before the surgery if it had spread to my ovarys or outside of the uterus. Why do they do that? We are each individuals and putting a time stamp on our own ...never mind. Anyway...one day it hit me. If this were my daughters, I would be on my knees. Right there and then I said THANK YOU LORD for answering my prayer even before I asked. Thank you for giving ME this cancer and not my daughters or sisters. And that is when the fear left and the fight began and I proved the doctors wrong.
Everything in life, EVERYTHING and every challenge...comes with a silver lining. Every day is a Blessing. And when our door opens and we go home...what a wonderful life when we are surrounded by those we love and who love us. That is a good life.
I am so sorry to ramble on like this today . I really wrote a Novel.
Now, today I am going to eat a REAL hamburger. My eyes will probably roll back into my head. LOL I am going to use 90% fat free and put it on a forman grill to remove fat and will pat more out with a paper towel. I got my "new teeth" last week and am ready to try them out. My gums were too sore at first to really want to chew much. Good-bye Boost and Ensure and I will use you only when needed as a supplement for calories.
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