LUCKY*  
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Still Hangin'

Monday, July 23, 2007

Thank you all those who have posted such kind words to me.... I wish I could be worthy of them and actually follow through with my goals... but I feel like I have no will at all most of the time... I am sick and tired and depressed... (don't worry... taking meds) haha... just want SO much to be healthy BEFORE I DIE...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

B0BBIE 7/24/2007 7:28PM

    huggles you!...you are worthy..don't ever say you are not..we are all worthy...i understand how you are feeling..been there...and often...
you are worth everything and more...i am also on meds for the big D..thank goodness lol..otherwise..well we don't even want to discuss that!! we've gotta take this one day at a time, one hour, one minute...its gonna take time..but we are worth the time..believe you can..and you will...(don't be surprised if i need you to say that to me too one day..)...
keep your chin up..be concious of what you are eating...and what you are thinking...when you start to beat yourself up for making a mistake..stop..take a breath...a few breaths perhaps..and just forgive and move forward..it has taken a lot of work for me to get to the point of just letting my mistakes go..but i promise you..it will make a difference.....okay i sound like some public speaker type person now lol!! huggles ...you can, we can, we will.

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no too good so far...

Monday, June 25, 2007

I had such great expectations for today... but woke up missing my granddaughter so badly... knowing I cannot even call her... ate totally out of control this morning... going to try to make up for it later today... but feel so sad all the time... gotta shake it, I know... just called and cancelled bowling with the hubby today... just don't feel up to it... gonna hang around the house... make him dinner tonight... those are my "goals" for today...

Damn I hate feeling like this! This is so depressing and I keep hoping I will wake up and feel better about everything... but I don't.

  


What's a Blog?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

I don't know what a "blog" is... this is my FIRST web page... I just use the computer for research, e-mailing and playing games sometimes... if it's a place to vent -- well, here I am... I'm so MAD at myself for letting this stuff w/my daughter affect my life so directly! I haven't walked regularly in the past week... maybe once... and I just KNEW this was the month I'd be all month long exercising... hahaha... but no... I always let life interfere... is it because I don't "want" to lose weight... I don't think so... I just don't believe I can do it anymore... and that's so damned depressing...

I always thought I had lived my life without regret... but now I regret not taking better care of my body at twenty... twenty-five... and SO on...

Maybe it's because I'm still fighting so hard to be in a "good" mood that I'm writing here today... I feel like "Pigpen" from Charlie Brown... with a cloud of crap always following me wherever I am...

I just want peace in my life.. and the health to live a long one...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

A_WATTS 6/25/2007 2:29PM

    Great job with the blog! Maybe if I can get back into venting on here I'll be in the kitchen stuffing my face less right? :)

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PIGMOMMA 6/24/2007 11:01PM

    You nailed the blog!!! That is exactly what it is for. Don't let things get you so down that you give up on yourself. It is the baby steps in our journey that gets us where we are going. You have taken the first step and decided to change your habits and lifestyle. Way to Go!!! That is the first step in probably the hardest journey you will ever take. Good luck and keep your chin up. Get on some threads and vent to friends. Visit some sparkpages and see what others are doing to change their lives. Use the site to its fullest. But most of all trust the process. It may take a long time and you may get stuck sometimes and lets face it sometimes you may feel like crap and eating everything in the house, but stay committed and remember that the process will take you to a better, more improved you and isn't that what all of us want anyway?? Good luck and best wishes.
Becky

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DEEDUM 6/24/2007 10:54PM

    That is a blog! I just thought it is to write your thoughts, your feelings and connect with others! You did it! My advice is put yourself first! Also, realize that life does interfere, you know the ole' two steps forward, one step back, that is the way things are going a bit for me but I never give up :)

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