LSPIZZA   60,441
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Why are some women so unsupportive to other women?!

Saturday, August 06, 2011

So my first triathlon is this weekend. And the weather isn't going to be great. Rain. And the surf is going to be high. But I'm ready. And I'm proud of myself for how far I've come. And I had such a victory this week! I easily slid into size 8 Jean shorts. Which I only tried on because they were on sale and there were no 10s. I have never been a single digit size before (and this is for real, right, jeans that aren't even tight make it for real!) in my adult life!

So I go pick up my race packet for the triathlon. Now I have quite a few races under my belt - mostly running, mostly co-ed. This is a women's tri. When I moved to the woman giving out the shirts, she asked for my size. I had ordered large. I am a medium these days :), but I like loose workout clothes and this is a tech shirt. She immediately told me they were running small and I might want an XL or even XXL. Really? Really? Gee thanks.

I ran a women's only 5 mile race a few months ago and had another one of these kinds of demoralizing experiences. A woman completely amazed that I was participating (who finished 20 minutes after I did, by the way).

What's up with that? Fit people come in all sizes! It was nice to get the tip on the sizing but I would never tell another woman she is an XXL. I would never even venture a guess. Why can't some women just be happy for other women instead of being snide? They were being so nice to the stick thin woman who was asking a million questions because she is sooooo obviously afraid of the ocean. Size bias even at a triathlon for women. Sigh!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LSPIZZA 8/8/2011 8:34AM

    Thanks everyone for all your nice, helpful comments!

I did it! I finished my first Triathlon - a sprint tri - in 1:29:35. Under and hour and a half. Woo-hoo!! Very middle of the pack but that was more than okay with me. And what a wonderful bunch of women! So wonderful to each other. It was a tough day - VERY rough ocean, drenching downpour on part of the cycle and then the sun came out to steam us on our run. And the women all shared stories and cheered each other on - it was great!

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BEATLETOT 8/6/2011 3:10PM

    Maybe the first lady was only meaning that the sizes are running a little small, so if you ordered (and therefore presumably wanted) a large, then maybe the large they provided isn't what you wanted. Maybe she noticed it when she opened the boxes and told everyone who walked up. She probably was so busy passing out T-shirts, she didn't have time to mentally assess each participant who walked up. I saw on Dr Phil once, "You wouldn't care what other people thought of you if you knew how rarely they did." She may have just been trying to be nice.

Now the other lady, I don't know, but I'd give the first one the benefit of the doubt.

Comment edited on: 8/6/2011 3:12:49 PM

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EVOLVEFISH 8/6/2011 3:00PM

    Yeah. Women are regarded as supportive and nurturing. Some women are supportive and nurturing of everyone. Some women are supportive and nurturing of men or children, but not other women. Some women are neither supportive nor nurturing. Guess we come in all flavors. Unfortunately there are lots of the ill-flavored ones out there. They probably won't be supportive and nurturing no matter how thin you are. But THEY DON'T MATTER. What matters is you and how you feel and how you see yourself and that you know you are fit and getting fitter by the minute. And, it also matters that you are supportive and nurturing, even when others aren't.

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GRYPHON55 8/6/2011 2:26PM

    Some women can't get over being judgemental about size, it's their insecurity. Don't be like them, just wave them off and forget about them!

I have to say that my true running friends, both true runners and true friends, don't give a rat's *ss if I am thin or heavy, and they have seen me both. They are supportive and encouraging and just happy I'm out there doing something with them. Hope you find some of those kind of friends so you can ignore the snide, stupid people.

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CITYZOZO 8/6/2011 12:51PM

    go girl.. you rock, the sour pusses are a pain in the butt, i experience the same garbage.. shine like you've never have before.. good luck! good to get this out of head... big hug!

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PUDLECRAZY 8/6/2011 12:01PM

    You go, Girl! Don't worry about other people and their issues. It is sad that women are raised to be so insecure that they feel they have to compete with other women instead of bonding and cheering them on. Keep surrounding yourself with support friends of both genders and let the sour pusses live with their own bad attitudes.

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THISYEARSMODEL 8/6/2011 11:47AM

    Maybe she was jealous because you were a participant and she was stuck working the event?

Yet another illustration of why, outside of SP, I can't stand having women as friends.

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ALIHIKES 8/6/2011 10:40AM

    I'm impressed with your success and smaller size, and ability to compete in a triathalon! emoticon

Don't let any negative strangers get you down, and best wishes in your triathalon

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What was I thinking?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I am offically overwhelmed!

What was I thinking? I am registered for 3 races in the next 3 weeks. A run and swim Saturday (and both my girls are doing this one too - isn't that great?!), and a run the following Sunday, and then my very frist Triathlon on 8/7. And its hot. And its summer and my teenager's social life is eating at my sleep. And my 9 year old still likes to come and cuddle in my bed in the middle of the night when she misses her dad or has a bad dream - or just wakes up and wants company. More lost sleep. And did I mention that its hot? Really hot and humid and I am SOOOOOO slow in the heat.

Kids, work, house, physical training, trying to eat right when sometimes I just want to blow it all. There was this fabulous cookie at Panera last evening that I really wanted - fudgey with white chocolate and dark chocolate chunks and walnuts - so yummy looking! Good thing they post the calories - 450! No cookie for me. That's a meal's worth of calories. Sigh.

And I know it wouldn't be easier if I wasn't working so hard on my health and fitness. Exercise is my lifesaver in this UNFAIR (whining and feeling sorry for myself - ooops) life of mine. But I am working so hard - on so many fronts - and the scale won't move, and I still miss my husband, and running the house and the family all by myself is HARD!

I think I need a long hard run...

  


Trying to move on...one day at a time

Thursday, June 23, 2011

So my kids have finished their fourth school year since their daddy died. My grand goal in life right now is to have them be happy and healthy. And to be present for as much of those happy, healthy lives as I can.

So I am incredibly pleased with both final report cards!!! Hard working smart little girls who are moving on themselves. Go team!

And I seem to have inspired a health kick in my house. Even more so than their triathlete father did. Maybe it was just their ages while he was here. But he pushed hard and we did not follow him. I am about moderation - and healthy eating and results. And fun. After good grades, of course. Interesting to live your live on your own Terms. Completely your own - not moderated by no one else's terms.

My big girl looks wonderful - lost all the weight she gained when eating her way through her daddy's death and is exercising for health ( and beauty - she is now a teenager). The little one ate her way through her grandfather's death. The doctors and counselors believe she was mourning daddy and pop-pop finally when she lost pop-pop. She is now cycling and exercising and hanging out with exercising mom and is trying to be healthy.

I work hard to make sure they are not obsessing or being unhealthy. But they have a bad health history. And it's even harder to deal with life if you have a weight issue too. And they have enough other issues.

I am feeling like a successful proud mom. Who herself could really drop 20 more pounds. Hope I can do it - in a way that models the right behavior for my girls!

  


Father's Day without any Dads...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Well - we made it through Father's Day number 4 without my husband and number 2 without my Dad.

And yet, what a weekend! My little one (9) finally mastered her 2 wheeler. Funny she finally got it on this weekend. But then - her daddy was a triathlete. And her mommy - me - is training for her first triathlon. Thursday I finally got out the bike I am planning to race with. That would be my husband's tri bike. What a great bike! Old but wonderful. I oiled the gears, put on the "girl seat," pumped up the tires and started training. Cycle 10+ miles and then run. Tough but felt great. But even better was to inspire my daughter to ride. And she was so ready. Mastered that bike Saturday and then rode 8 miles Monday. Woo-hoo! I am so proud of her. And so is her Dad, I'm sure.

We kept very busy around Father's Day this year and did a bunch of new things. We also had some parties and get togethers. That were tons of fun! Good thing we are getting so much exercise to make up for the yummy food!

Time - and everything we do with that time - really seems to be helping us. In the throes of grief you think you will never feel better. But it changes. Another few milestones pass... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMJUSTFLUFFY 6/22/2011 11:56AM

    Good blog!

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What a Difference a Year Makes

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

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This is an old story. From last summer. But it took me more than a year to make a spark page and I want it here.

2 years ago I had my little girl (she was 7) in the ocean with me. We got caught in a rip tide. She panicked but I taught her how to handle it. We stayed calm, swam across the rip and were ok. But I was so tired I couldn't pull her in. I was stuck until had help.

Now - my husband was such a strong swimmer. An athlete. Triathlete. Marathon runner. But he passed away in 2008. My life has never been the same and I miss him every day. I could hear him berating me - really, you can't pull our baby in out of the ocean - what happened to you?

We were the athletic couple together although he was the driving force. Given that experience, I went to work. My grief counselor had suggested exercise. And I began running. I have gone from walking 20 minute miles to - 23 months later - running a 5 K at a 9 minute mile pace. Running helps me feel well.

But here is the kicker. Last summer - a year after my little one and I were caught in a rip - my 2 kids were caught in a rip. I swam out to them so fast I beat the lifeguards. I pulled them both in one at a time and knew I had reached a new level of fitness. I can keep my kids safe in the ocean. Woo-hoo! What is 20 more pounds if you can do that?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMJUSTFLUFFY 6/22/2011 11:51AM

    That is wonderful! So good for you...and the children!
Rhonda

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FROGGERHKC 6/14/2011 11:25AM

    emoticon emoticon
Keep up the awesome work!!!

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