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Back on track

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Had a bit of a setback food-wise this past weekend, but I am okay with it. Went to a Women's Retreat with a friend, and they used a curriculum called, "The Sweet Life Cafe."

In addition to an abundance of yummy food experiences, there was a great opportunity to share fellowship and love with new friends. We were seated in table groups, so whomever you sat with at the beginning of the weekend was the group you became close to throughout the weekend.

It was such a beautiful place, and a worshipful experience. The music team was great, and led with such joy and enthusiasm! I came back filled to the brim! I hope that others have a chance to retreat and refill themselves in this way, it's so helpful. Here's a pic or 2 of the place it was held:

And here is my "table group" of new friends!!

What a blessing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SGRENNEK 3/3/2010 11:13PM

    Wow, sounds like an amazing experience! So glad the Lord used it to refresh you.

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MNNSAIDE 3/3/2010 6:17PM

    You can see the Lord's glow in your picture!


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    Sounds wonderful! A great place to recharge.

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Where's the Wagon Stop? I want to get back on!

Monday, December 28, 2009

The holidays have left me fearful of getting on the scales. Too much chocolate in the house. But I am definitely in the process of gearing my head up to get back on track with my food and exercise.

I've managed to get wrist tendonitis or carpal tunnel syndrome or something like that; I really hate it! But at least it doesn't affect my lower body - so I can do cardio workouts. So that's what I'll start with.

What I realize is that it's all connected -- overeating, under-exercising, clutter, paperwork mess/procrastination, unkept house, not cooking, etc. Needs more thought and development. The key is in here somewhere, I can't find it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNNSAIDE 12/28/2009 5:47PM

    Boy do you sound like me!
Have not stepped on the scale since schoole let out, I used get on everyday.
I also have had pain in my hand (wearing a brace) and of course made all the excuses not to pick up the house. Just started to move around today.

Guess the key is to vent and to help each other out.
I'm in - You?

Your friend

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JEANBEAN13 12/28/2009 3:11PM

    I share your fear of the scale. Jumped on it today to get it over with and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe you'll get lucky too.

Try icing your tendonitis. I had it really bad in my leg and finally decided to ice it and after a few days it was gone. Usually I refuse to ice it and suffer for weeks.

Good luck! You'll find the key.

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JEANBEAN13 12/28/2009 3:11PM

    I share your fear of the scale. Jumped on it today to get it over with and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe you'll get lucky too.

Try icing your tendonitis. I had it really bad in my leg and finally decided to ice it and after a few days it was gone. Usually I refuse to ice it and suffer for weeks.

Good luck! You'll find the key.

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Focus, focus

Monday, October 26, 2009

I am really struggling with getting back on track....I do well for 2 or 3 days, then fall off again....then get back in the groove. I KNOW I can do this, so it's really frustrating that I keep losing my focus and blowing it off. Meantime, I've gained back about 15 pounds....

I know, that I know, that I know that when I got down to my lowest weight I was dealing with a lot of inner discomfort about the attention I was getting from friendly people who always made remarks about my body when I saw them. I know they were happy for me and my success, and wanted to be supportive. But there's something deep inside me that DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE LOOKING AT MY BODY. Wonder if anyone else has that issue?

I also kept receiving comments that disturbed me == they would say, "if you lose much more weight, you'll disappear!" or "it's the vanishing woman!" or "there's just not much of you left!" These are NOT things I want to have happen. I want to be PRESENT. I want to be honored and respected for being a valuable presence. It would be different if they said things like, "you've been taking very good care of yourself!" or "you're looking healthy!" But no, I never heard that. Urgh.

Anyway, I have to get over this. I have to let go of what people say out of kind ignorance, and just worry about how I feel, inside and out. It's my body, and all that really matters is my own opinion and healthy feelings.

And, of course, now that I've gained some weight back, the comments have stopped. Which is kind of nice...but also makes me feel bad. It's so weird -- this is not just a personal issue -- it's a very social and public issue. No one seems to talk about that.

If you've read this, I'd be very interested to know, what's your experience? Is it just me?

Here's to a healthy week. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LSCHULER72 10/28/2009 5:55PM

    You hit it right on the head! Why can't the comments be things like "Wow! You look like you are really healthy!" or "What's your secret to good health?". I truly believe that people think they are paying you a compliment when they say stupid things like that. Why else would they do it? I keep meaning to make a list of witty things to say back to them, but I haven't yet.

I'm having focusing issues, too. I track well all week long and then when the weekend gets here it all goes to hell. Reading blogs like this helps me stay on track and remember I am not alone-and neither are you!!!!!

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CHERIE55 10/26/2009 3:10PM

    I have had some of these issues in the past. It does make you feel uncomfortable for awhile. I was frustrated by 2 friends when I met my goal weight, well now you can work at getting some more weight off! That hurt my feelings. My goal weight is what my Dr's think I should weigh for me. I am ok and doing good when I am at goal. I was wearing a size 8 which I have not worn since I was 18 years old and some of the 8's were getting pretty loose. Part of the problem with this may be that I am in CA right now and lots of Californian's have a distorted image ideal because of Hollywood. I have seen a lot anorexic looking people with size D boob jobs here. Kind of the Barbie doll image and that is not for me!

I think ALMMOM's idea of adding dignity to what we are doing with our statements is a really good idea.


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KATIE2POINT0 10/26/2009 1:12PM

    I feel like people just say things like "pretty soon you're going to disappear" because they want to make sure they are not offending you in some way. It's better than "wow you look a lot better"... right? Clearly you are still a presence in their lives, some people just need to joke when they feel uncomfortable. I also think they may thing they are being just as offensive by not acknowledging at all. People who have never been over weight don't really get it. I would take it all as a compliment though... because I truly believe that is how it is meant. As far as not wanting people to look at your body, that may take some time to adjust to. But you should be proud of that body you are taking such good care of!

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ALMMOM 10/26/2009 1:07PM

    People say only what comes to there mind and is the easiest to say. You can respond to one of these "comments" with - "yes, I'm learning to take care of myself". Add dignity to what you are doing!!

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Done Girls are still the Best!!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

I got 12 pages of Happy Birthday comments today from my Done Girls! You guys are the greatest. Thanks for all the well wishes! I ate like a fool, I must say. But our birthdays only come once a year, right?

Anyway, I just had to say a public thank you to every one of you who took the time to come by and give me a goodie or a comment! You helped make my birthday very special, and reminded me that SparkPeople is the place to go if I ever need support. I hope I can be there for y'all too.

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Stick a fork in me!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I am done shopping in the big butt clothing store.
I am done squeezing into theater seats and hurting my hips.
I am done being afraid to get on the scales.
I am done living with little to no energy.
I am done with knees that hurt all the time from carrying around excessive weight.
I am done with being embarrassed to turn my back to people.
I am done hiding in baggy clothing.
I am done shopping for shoes because I get too depressed trying on clothes.
I am so done.

I cut something out of a magazine that made me stop and think:
"Anyone who sustains weight loss, which is extremely difficult, has essentially reinvented herself and is worthy of the utmost admiration and respect."

That's who I want to be now. That's who I am becoming!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIMI721 8/18/2009 10:59AM

    I Love this!! Thanks for sharing.. emoticon

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LSCHULER72 8/18/2009 10:12AM

    That was wonderful! What an inspirational piece. Thanks for sharing!

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FARMGIRL48 8/18/2009 6:22AM

    You go girl i agree with all that and i say me too !! Stay Strong Spark Friend !! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ONE6OH 8/18/2009 12:45AM

    Amen Sister. You are not alone on this journey. emoticon

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LAVENDARJ 8/18/2009 12:10AM

    i am so with you on that one.!!! you can do it!!
I drove by lane bryant today and thought.. i never want to go in there again!! NEVER!!

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