Thursday, December 13, 2012
After reading the last biog post I made on here and seeing that I had posted how much in a funk I was, I definitely see a pattern on the way I lose weight. How many of us start out great and can last at least 3 weeks on plan before they start feeling the funk?
So what the hell is wrong with me. I was once a smoker for over 10 years. I started as a teen as most teens do to try and be cool and gave it up a million times. I always said I could quit when I wanted to, its all a state of mind. I did quit when I was pregnant with my first son but made the excuse that I was stressed out being a teen parent and struggling, that I needed that cigarettes so I didn't lose my mind. We have all used that excuse with an addiction..... Wait.....What?
So do I have an addiction to food. I don't think so. I don't think you Can have an addiction to food. But I do think you can have an addiction to a way of life. To the emotional and sentimental bond we attach to cigarettes or food. I continued to smoke for about 10 years after that. I have since quit. So what was the straw that broke the "Camels" back. (as in what I use to smoke) I quit again because I became pregnant with my daughter. I mean, Yes, I was 10 years more mature, but my stress was still there. So why didn't I go back to it? I mean I kind of wanted to. I really wanted to, but why did I want to? I think it was because, plain and simply I liked it. I really liked it. But I didn't like the damage it caused to my lungs, and I know I didn't like the way it made me smell, I wasn't doing it anymore to look cool, because believe it I was kind of ashamed for people to look at me like a horrible person for smoking around my children. And I felt like a horrible person. I think I quit because I realized how much I love my children. I quit because I no longer enjoyed it. I no longer needed to feel like it was the only thing that released my stress. I was no longer addicted because it no longer appealed to me.
I love my children. More than I love myself. I couldn't bare for them to watch me suffer from lung disease or some other horrible life threatening disease. Both my grandmother has COPD and my mother died from it. So I wasn't immune to getting sick. It can happen. I cared more about how it would affect them. And the there was the horrible reality I gave my son asthma. I didn't mean for it. I certainly would have quit long before had I known or realized the dangers. I mean we do sort of know the risks but we are always like, as long as it doesn't affect anyone else then why should anyone care what we do?
So how does this relate to food? I mean its not like our loved ones are affected with second hand food or we are going to get lung cancer from over eating. No... but we can die or become sick from being obese, overweight.
We can die from being thin and in shape too. But the stats are higher if we are unhealthy. So when do I get to the part where I have to see this as it is. This lifestyle IS going to affect my children in the long run. No they can't get second hand food from me, but they can learn my habits. And then in turn, I am basically saying its OK to be lazy and eat what you want and not give a crap about how it affects your body. I am not saying they have to be skinny runway models, but to be healthy and fit is nice. And it helps with their self esteem which in turn may help them make other better decisions in the future.
But finding a new way to live can be hard if you have been so used to living another way in the past. Pouring all your emotions and needs into food. When I quit smoking, I would chew on straws to ignore the craving. I no longer had the addiction, but the need to have something in my mouth to chew on was there. Make sense?
But I can't exactly do that here. When I am craving a peanut butter cup or an italian sub, a celery stick isn't going to do it for me. So what do I do?
I think there HAS to be a balance. I mean I see all these fit people and some are so obsessed with eating healthy they never eat unhealthy, MORE POWER TO THEM! But that's not me. I love food as I did cigarettes and I don't want to feel the need to lose it, but I also need to realize that its not all about fried foods and junk food and soda, that there has to be a balance. I am not one for trying new foods, and I do not eat seafood in any way. But I am going to vow to try at least one new food each week. the other thing I have been wanting to do is give up meat. NOT COMPLETELY! :)I mean a Thanksgiving Turkey is the best. But for the most part yes. Its my own personal opinion, but I'm tired of it. I like eggs and cheese just not a big fan of it anymore. It might just be an age thing. I do however, see a lot of research about how unhealthy meat is and it interests me that some of these cultures that don't eat meat so often have a longer life expectancy. What a great gift I can offer my children.
Well all in short I believe that we have to be able to just make up our minds. We have to just be okay with living a new way. Whatever way we choose. Whats good for one person may not be good for you. When we find our balance and give up on our emotional hold that we have placed on eating. When we realize that we can still have delicious food but not let it control our lives then we can become successful. Its up to us when that happens.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
And before you start singing, "Play that funky music white boy!" Its not in a good way. I feel like I have just given up. I truly feel so tired lately and the easy fix would be to get back on the wagon. But finances have taken their toll. We can barely buy food at this point. Im not working that much and my husbands hours have dropped. He was lined up for a second job but that failed. So now he is looking again. So what we do get I make sure the kids eat well. We applied for assistance. I haven't had assistance since I was a singe mom at 18. So its a big bite in the tush. I still try to eat right, but sometimes I can't really afford much so I go without. I do make sure I still get my water and I take vitamins but I think that its taking its toll. The stress, the lack of nutrition. I gained only a pound and a half. And Im not too angry with that, I am just upset that not being able to afford food really puts me in a hard situation.
I know my assistance is going to come through so hopefully things will start looking up. I am staying faithful to God because i know he is in charge and I can't do this without him. But its oh so difficult to be patient. Wish me luck this week. I am stressed right now and really tired as I right this so please be patient if its lacking proper anything.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Okay so I am a day late in blogging. And its not easy to stay on top of this. Having a house full of kids and beginning of the school year, etc.... But I am so happy to report I have lost 4 lbs this week. Considering I gained 3.5 over the previous 2 weeks. I am happy with that. I know its the exercise and therefore the lack of it over the past couple of weeks. I can eat right, but not lose.
In fact, I discovered something about myself.
I discovered, that If I DON'T exercise, then my eating habits start to fail, I first become lazy, then depressed and find I am constantly bored eating, and not healthy food choices either, but as much cupcakes, donuts and sugary, greasy junk food.
I was happy I discovered this because I also felt sick a lot. My back started to hurt. But this time it came on all at once. And fast. So this previous week all I did was get 5 days in of Zumba. I do worry I am getting a little bored of the same routine and want a little bit of a change. So if you don't know this, Sparkpeople sent out coupons because Curves is giving out 30 days free with no obligations. I mean I figured I never thought I would like Curves. But I decided to try it and it went well. I went yesterday and i am scheduled again tomorrow. Its no joke people. I have the cardio down, but I am going to get plenty of Strength training at Curves. Plus they have Zumba, so i can go for that. How fun!! I feel this couldn't have come at a better time. I really needed the motivation and I believe this will carry me. I am thinking of keeping the membership. But we will see.
On a family note. My daughter Isabella (4) had her second practice for soccer ever. She is doing better than the first day and I am so happy she is having fun!! Oh and my little Vinny (10mos) took 5 steps today!! I am so excited!!
Stay tuned for week 7's update!
Friday, September 07, 2012
So I am on week 5 and I know I gained a little back last week. I was going good there for a while. I know where I went wrong so I got back on track! Not really. Its hard to come out of my depression spats when I fall into them. But this week I gained 2.2 lbs. But I know my reason is water gain from my monthly visitor.
I am not really disappointed but was a little discouraged. But I am back this week. I look at it as a minor set back.
Now one thing. I swore last week I was going to have a heart attack, and not figuratively. I really felt like it. I had back spasms in my upper back and kept feeling like an elephant was resting on my chest. It had been happening for a week until a friend mentioned she had gone through the same thing once. She stated that she had become real active and quit for a little while, and thats when she had all these ailments, depression, fatigue etc.
I hadn't put much to it but it had been almost 7 days since I exercised and it was right around then all this had happened to me. Her theory is exercise increases oxygen through out body and organs and helps pump out blood properly, as we exercise, our bodies are getting what they need. When we stop its like our body is no longer getting that energy, air and it begins to suffocate. Its had a little of the good life and its pissed off at us now for stopping. So to put her to the test, I began to exercise again and wala! My breathing problems stopped and I wasn't tired as much. So maybe there's a little truth to it. BTW I had gone to the doctor and except for obvious reasons I am fairly healthy. What is your opinion?
Friday, August 31, 2012
Okay so week 4 weigh in wasn't so great, but considering I only had a 1 day of exercise, I think I did okay. I only gained 1.5 lbs. I was for sure I would have gained more. And I did lose a lot in the last 3 weeks.
I know what I had done wrong. I stayed in my calorie range and even reset the calories to adjust for me not working out. See I am building my business and this week I had a lot of legal stuff to take care of which resulted in me staying awake all night and trying to get things done. And so of course that has started me off bad for this week. Almost 7 days of no exercise is no bueno. And that also equals bad eating. I find myself slipping. I started out so strong. So reminded of this I know that I am not going to reach my goal if I don't change things so I am writing my blog and then I am going to bed to wake up early and get my workout in. So hopefully on Tuesday I will have better numbers. I just need to get out of this funk! Wish me luck!!
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