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Sometimes I just need a Wife

Friday, September 13, 2013

Sometimes when I am tired or stressed or feeling taken for granted I fantasize about getting a wife of my own.
I want someone who will do all the little things for me that I do for my husband. Here is the list: Get up first to make him two cups of café late and bring it to him in bed. Then wake the kids to join us on our bed for cuddles and games. (The current favourite is that the bed is a boat in shark invested waters. Everything dangling over the edge gets bitten off. Everybody gets an invisible spear gun...You get the picture.)
Then I go to get the kids their hot chocolate.
I herd them to the kitchen for breakfast, I get DH a towel and turn the shower on for him.
I look for everything he can't find.
(Guys suck at looking for things, unless it moves they won't see it. We got the berry picking- good at gathering- detail noticing genes. They got the movement noticing distance estimating ones)
I want someone to bring me countless cups of tea and make my favourite meals. Who fixes something delicious when my friends drop in unannounced. Who packs my suitcase and does my shopping. Who tells me when an outfit doesn't 'work'. Who packs a flask of coffee and snacks when I travel.
Someone who rubs my feet and shoulders when I am stressed. Who keeps me in bed by force and nurses me when I am sick. Who forces me to go to doctor's appointments. And won't allow me to go to the gym when I am under the weather.
What I would like is the 'wife' version of the Italian granny in the cupboard who makes the most wonderful meals and then disappears back into the cupboard again saying 'the glory is yours!' Like in the old FATTIS AND MONIS spaghetti ad.

I am going to ask my DH what his fantasy is. Maybe it is for a husband who will take the responsibility of keeping 4 females of various ages safe in a very unsafe country off his shoulders. Who wakes up when the dogs bark or at the sound of a gunshot and goes out to investigate. A husband who goes to work every day and provides for us. Someone who sees to it that he could always just get into his car and go, without even thinking about tyre pressure or oil levels or when the next service is due. Someone who takes the fire extinguishers to be refilled every year. Someone who can sum up a complex situation in a couple of words and would immediately DO the logical thing that solves the problem. Someone who makes the tricky decisions. Someone else to 'stop the buck there' instead of it always stopping 'here' with him.

Sparkies, I have to tell you, I would HATE to be my husband's husband. I would absolutely SUCK at it. It would not be natural at all for me to even be motivated enough to stumble around in the dark looking for intruders and not giving up until they are either caught or tracked until they are off the property. I would hate looking for and shooting the stray hunting dogs that sometimes chase our game into the barbed wire fences.

I would not find a motherly husband very sexy, I suppose. And he shouldn't try to be my wife either. (Heaven help us!)

So today I am going to be my own wife. I am making all my favourite meals. I am making myself endless cups of coffee. I am drawing a bath for myself with salt and rosemary leaves in it.
I am good at being my husband's wife, and he is good at being my husband.

For the rest there are mothers and sisters and girlfriends and of course spa days.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYRAY1 9/19/2013 9:32PM

    Great blog!! Congrats on your journey. emoticon

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TEREMC 9/19/2013 6:45PM

  Wow, that is a terrific blog! Hope you enjoyed your day taking care of you! emoticon

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DSCROW 9/19/2013 7:57AM

    Oh ya, that sounds nice. We who care for others sometimes need to take time out to care for ourselves. My massage and nails are the two things I have done for me. They give me a true time out from others care. Every now and then I become my massage therapist, or manicurist counselor and they bring me there problem but mainly they are the two people in life that make it all about me. Thank you very much. Both great ladies who I hope to know for a very long time :)

Taking time for yourself is self preserving so you have something left, happier, or stronger to give to others. Self preserving is not selfishness, just the opposite. If you don't oil and gas that car is breaks so do we. Enjoy your me time free of guilt. The to do list in life is long and full of the loving care you give others.

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KLEONIKI 9/16/2013 3:59AM

Nicely said and mostly nicely done!
Hope you enjoyed your nice bath.
This summer i was chatting with a friend of mine walking by the sea. She was for a few days with her baby boy, husband working.After a difficult not succesful pregnancy she had to visit a shrink. While complaining about her husband for those little things that being repetitive everyday finish unbearable ,the shrink told her:"who do you think you have been married to? eh? your best girlfriend?Well as far as you ve told me you are married to a man , dear ,so all those are to be expected"

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INGMARIE 9/15/2013 9:47AM


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SANDEEB7 9/15/2013 12:22AM

    O wow! You have a way with words....wouldn't we all want that wife that we are? Good on you girl...some 'me' time is important too.
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WJO1212 9/14/2013 9:53AM

    I could not have said it better.

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FLPALM 9/13/2013 2:15PM

    I read and reread your BLOG, and Loved every minute of it! When you started out "explaining your day" I thought, "Yeah, kinda like mine!" And then, I continued reading, smiling more and more.

Your love of family, your love for your husband; for all his "manly HUSBANDLY duties" doing all the things that protect us, care for us, etc. Yeah, we all need those "Wives/Husbands/Grannies" to help out some times, but the bottom line....we wouldn't trade it in (our lives) for anything!

Hugs, my SPFriend, you made me smile, giggle a little, and made me reflect on the things my Hubby and I do for each other....YUP, we need a SPA DAY, a relaxing day, a girlie day, but I'll take "home.....any day!"

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CELEST 9/13/2013 12:38PM

    I loved your blog....I am one who gets shoulder squeezes, but that's about it. lol. But I do admit that I would not be able to crack it in a mans world of working to support a family. I'm a helpmate and that's the best place for me. By the way, I just love the relationship you are building with your kids. They are going to grow up to be your friends when they are older. Well done on getting it right.

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PATTYR81 9/13/2013 11:52AM

    I woke up tired today from a loooonnnng and hectic and stressful week.

Sipping my HOT skinny mocha and trying to clear my brain cobwebs, your post immediately caught my eye! emoticon cuz I was thinking the EXACT same thing!!! emoticon emoticon

I soooooo enjoyed starting my day with you and THANKS for the laugh!


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WEEPINGANGEL74 9/13/2013 9:37AM

    What a lucky family you have to be spoiled by you! You deserve the same!

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MAIZEY 9/13/2013 7:48AM

    Love your post so true in so many ways! The joke in our house is that a uterus is an ultra sensitive locating device. Enjoy your day of pampering. A wise coach once advised me to treat myself as gently as I would treat a precious friend. Sounds like your hubby is your precious friend and you deserve some of the TLC too!

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SMILINGEYES2 9/13/2013 7:04AM

    What a fresh/great analysis to gender roles in a family. Sounds like you are terrific, not only as a wife to your husband but also as a mom to your children. Also, you do know how to pamper yourself. Spa days are a treat. You do need to take care of your health or you can not do these other roles. Agree, the males are welcome to their roles.

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My husband's new girlfriend! :)

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Today was a rest day for me. Or let's just say I made it a rest day, as I am running errands with my Dear Husband (of 13 years) It's OK, resting is good for my body too. And for my marriage.
We drove to town together in my car, but he was in charge of the schedule. So we did what he does every morning- have coffee at his favorite coffee shop with his buddies. Six of them do this Every Morning!?
I was sitting there, with my hand on his leg, talking and laughing normally when my husband's friend, who is also my gynaecologist walks past. (Sorry Sparkies, I CANNOT be friends with my gynea, hate going there to much. Association with discomfort etc) He looks directly at us, glares at my husband and stalks off.
We were both taken aback, what was that?! I made eye contact with him, he realised that it was me and came back to chat. It then turns out that he did not recognise me, and thought that DH had traded me in for a new thinner model.
If he wasn't a gynea, I could really like that guy. A medical professional and loyal to his patients too.
I am so happy I lost 42kg. I just have to remember to turn a deaf ear if I hear rumours of my DH having an affair. In our town people might not recognise me and some of them would put it out on the grape vine for sure.
It is that kind of town.

You see Sparkies: My Husband's New Girlfriend is ME!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPHLOKI 9/29/2014 8:25AM

    Congrats to losing so much weight! Way to go Girlfriend

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NYARAMULA 9/21/2013 2:25PM

    Maria I really enjoyed this blog. I laughed so loud my husband thought I'd lost my mind. Congratulations on the weight loss. 42kgs - wow! you are doing great.

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NHES220 9/2/2013 9:59AM

    Too funny and I love, love, his reaction. Kudos to you on the 42kg loss!

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DSCROW 9/1/2013 9:59PM

    Oh, I love this! It's like the picture of Luke and I and I thought who is that with my husband. It was taken with my camera and I didn't recognize myself!

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NANDERPANDA 9/1/2013 10:52AM

    That is amazing! emoticon

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CATHYBERNA 8/30/2013 1:21PM

    That is so cool, I got a call from a friend that worked with my hubby, his boss asked if if I was sick because I was o thin.... unfortunately it was my oldest daughter whom he had never met .... but back to she is shaped kind of like me .... just a few more sizes and I'll be her size.

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WEEPINGANGEL74 8/29/2013 7:28PM

    That's awesome! ! Funny story too!

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FLPALM 8/29/2013 4:07PM

    His "GirlFriend, is a REAL BEAUTY, at least that is what all the TownsFolk are saying!" LOL!!!!! I am so proud of you, and that whole experience should make you feel MARVELOUS!

You made me laugh for today, so enjoy your weekend, and continue to place your hand on your DH's leg, he sounds like a real keeper!


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CORTNEY-LEE 8/29/2013 2:24PM

    That has to make you feel good!!

I agree with you though, I don't think I could be friends with my "lady doc" that would be odd...

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FOXY13445 8/29/2013 2:06PM

    this was too awesome =]

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JESS0107 8/29/2013 12:54PM

    Wow!! that is wonderful!! Makes you feel good, huh?

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JTAMSYN 8/29/2013 12:15PM

    How AWESOME !!! Best compliment ever!

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WHOVIANGIRL23 8/29/2013 12:08PM

    What a wonderful story!

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CCSDESTINY 8/29/2013 11:31AM

    haha! That is Awesome!! Congrats :)

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MUFFIY831 8/29/2013 11:21AM

    That's fantastic!!! :)

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PATTYR81 8/29/2013 11:20AM

    THANKS for making me laugh today!!!

I LOVE this story!!!

YAY for you!

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SANDEEB7 8/29/2013 11:11AM

    Lol! Really enjoyed your story....I can just picture the man's face.
Well done...for doing so well. DH must be SO proud of his new gal! :)

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SUSIQZER 8/29/2013 11:03AM

    I love it!!! (And really, isn't that nice that he was looking out for you!)

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TEREMC 8/29/2013 10:59AM

  love this story!

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EG8383 8/29/2013 10:11AM

  lol what a fabulous story! you can take advantage of this in so many ways hehehe! Enjoy the new fabulous you!!

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EG8383 8/29/2013 10:10AM

  lol what a fabulous story! you can take advantage of this in so many ways hehehe! Enjoy the new fabulous you!!

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SMILINGEYES2 8/29/2013 9:17AM

    What a wonderful compliment to be the other woman. You go girl.

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/29/2013 9:03AM

    VERY cool!

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BARCONIUS 8/29/2013 8:37AM

    That's a great story. I'm glad it all got straightened out before he left, though. Your next visit could have been awkward.

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PRUPLEBEAR 8/29/2013 8:27AM


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WANDA68 8/29/2013 8:21AM

    way to go ! Thanks for sharing!

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    Wow! That is awesome! emoticon

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CELEST 8/29/2013 7:46AM

    Oh wow....how exciting is that 42 kg loss...well done.

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DARJR50 8/29/2013 7:46AM

  great story

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ELEANORKR 8/29/2013 7:42AM

  42 kilos! That is awesome. No wonder people don't recognize you!
Forget about LOOKING like a different person, you must FEEL like a new person too!

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CANADIANFROG09 8/29/2013 7:25AM

    emoticon emoticon

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How to talk to Neil

Monday, August 05, 2013

I met Neil, a young man in his mid twenties, a couple of years ago. We attend the same gym at the same time most days. He has special needs, is physically able but mentally about 7-10 years old. His grandmother drops him off to exercise every morning for two hours. Neil is very careful not to keep her waiting- he is out the door in a flash when he sees her car. Most people at the gym enjoy Neil's company. He insists on doing many things wrong, which makes the trainers cringe. Fearing he might injure himself, but he has done it his way for so many years without problems that nobody corrects him anymore. He always greets everybody, he always stops for a chat. He always tells me that his bones are not made of milk by God, like everybody else, they are made of titanium steel in a lab. He always shows me his muscles. He always asks about my daughter who has special needs too. I love Neil. He adds joy to my time at the gym.
The thing with Neil is, he has an eye for a beautiful girl, as well as impeccable taste. He especially loves talking to the really sexy ones, like the female personal trainers for instance. (Not the older, overweight ones like me. I get about 5 minutes of his time) He would hang around them, chatting non-stop while they are working with their clients.
Sometimes this offends. I suppose if you are paying someone to help you work out, and to focus on you, Neil does not add to the experience. Some people just ignore him. Some are irritated but not willing to say anything. Some people just plain don't know how to handle the situation.
As a mom, of a child with special needs I would like to give the following pointers. For all who wondered.
Recognise a disabled child's worth as a person. Speak to the heart of the person, while looking into their eyes, there might be a lot of 'noise' going around in the brain, but the heart is where the spirit lives, it understands more than we think. Recognise that you are talking to the seven year old who lives in the grown person's body. Make sure your body language agrees with what is coming out of your mouth.
Speak the truth simply and with love.
Say: Neil, we had a wonderful talk, it was great. Now I have to concentrate on my client's workout. I cannot talk to you right now. We will talk later. If you do the circuit, I will keep an eye on you. I can see that you are getting stronger every day.
As easy as that, and hang on to your sense of humour.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOMBCHELL23 9/18/2013 11:14AM


You are showing and demonstrating such compassion and I appauld you for that. I understand this hits home for you but you are sharing ways to deal w/ people humanely that are disabled. Thank you for great insight and wonderful advice! I wish all people had this mindset!

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DSCROW 8/15/2013 7:29PM

    Well done, I really liked your blog and felt I knew Neil. I work with children with emotional and mental difficulties and you were so right. You gave special insight from your own persona experience. Thanks :)

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REGTE_EK 8/11/2013 2:41PM

  You are amazing! I love special needs people, they are so open, honest and sincere. Big hugs for the special needs people in your life. And a bigger one for you!

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AMBER0406 8/8/2013 2:00PM

    Wow, you are so right. Your words were so kind and graceful and I could feel your sincerity. This was a great blog. I wish more people were like you. I wish more people took others feelings into consideration. Wonderful mind. Thank you. emoticon

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STEVEN2GO2 8/6/2013 12:40AM

    My ex step-son was special needs, autism. He taught me so much. If you really paid attention to him you would see what a wonderful, try so hard kid he was. He never gave up, which was a valuable lesson I learned from him that has helped me with my weight loss journey! Every person is special, you just need to look for their halo!

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SANDEEB7 8/5/2013 10:46PM

    Oh my....you hit the nail on the head. Well done. Especially the part about making sure your body language agrees with what is coming out of your mouth. I see daily how finely tuned my son is to that.

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FLPALM 8/5/2013 4:14PM

    What a wonderful BLOG! I truly appreciate your description, your loving caring way, to handle this situation. Many years ago, I worked with special needs children, some with varying "abilities" and I totally agree with your comments.

Whenever I am talking with a child, of any age, I feel the best comments are those with LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, and Explaining to them, "what they CAN understand."
Not a long story, not a fib, but what they can handle for "their age" be it a number, or their maturity level.

I can tell, your love is spoken...and that is beautiful.

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CORTNEY-LEE 8/5/2013 3:24PM

    thank you so much for this blog. I know personally, when I am faced with someone who has special needs, I am really not sure how to talk to them because I have never had anyone like that in my life. Your blog has helped me understand what I need to do to help communicate with special needs people.

Thanks Maria!!


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CELEST 8/5/2013 2:35PM

    I love people who treat ALL people as humans and not sub species. I have a friend who's daughter is disabled. Even though she cannot make herself understood to most people (her mom and gran do understand her strange guttural sounds) they always blow wave her hair, she wears jewelry like any other teenage girl and is left out of nothing, despite her wheel chair....its a beautiful thing to witness.

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WJO1212 8/5/2013 1:17PM

    You go girl!!! Well said! As some one who has worked with special needs people for over 30 years I could not have said it better my self! I applaud you! emoticon

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DIETER27 8/5/2013 1:14PM

  You are so right some people just don't know what to say to a special needs child. A bit of understanding and compassion brings a big smile to their face. You are so right the heart definitely is where the spirit lives.. Have a wonderful day .

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Emilina got mugged

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Emilina is a single mother who works with me. She was mugged yesterday. She lives in a township that is notoriously violent called Pienaar. She does not take her lunch hour or tea time so that she can leave early, to run the gauntlet to get home while it is still light outside...

She lives in Pienaar, because that is where her aunt lives. Her aunt looks after her 9 month old baby with love and affection, while she is at work.
The way Emilina likes it.

She was yanked around by three masked men. One of them shot a bullet into the ground at her feet. They stole her wallet with her bus ticket, her government grant card and all her money that has to last till the end of the month.
They also tried to rape her, but someone showed up.
They ran away.

Emilina is a soft hearted, soft spoken woman who loves children.
I am so thankful that the Lord sent someone to scare the thugs away before they really hurt her.

I am so sorry that I did not remember to pray for her yesterday.
So please, those of you who pray, please ask the Lord to help heal her heart. To help her deal with the fear and trauma. To help her find a place where she can live safely with her child.

If she moves back with her mom, she will be taken care of. There will be more money to go around, but childcare is a big problem. That is why she left in the first place. Her child was neglected by the people she paid to look after him.
She can't afford a crèche.

I am helping her as much as I can. We have to inform the grant office, we have to get a case number from the police. We have to cancel her cell phone. We have to open a bank account for her, so that she does not have to keep her money in her wallet.
It is a waste of time to go to the police, they won't be able to find the perps.
They are swamped.

Crime and lawlessness in my country is an epidemic, a plague and a cancer. It breaks my heart when good kind people suffer because if it.

May the Lord bless and protect His children in Africa.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPHLOKI 8/17/2013 8:57AM

    I am so sorry, this sounds like you guys have the same problems as we do here. A friend of mine, was also robbed the other day on her way to work, was cut with a knife, was robber the money she wanted to pay part of her son's university fees with & everything else in her bag.
A colleague had his old car (nothing to write home about), stolen at gun point on a Saturday morning.
This is becoming too much.
Give her a hug from me

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CELEST 7/12/2013 10:41AM

    OH MY WORD....poor woman. I hope you can do something for her, it is getting tough and will still get tougher before it gets better. Shame man.

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DSCROW 7/12/2013 8:40AM

    I am so glad in a world where so much evil can happen we have God! Praying for your friend and giving thanks for the healing I know God will provide her. Jesus touch her life, that this traumatic incident can be just a stepping stone for you to guide her in her walk and lead her to good choices for she and her child. God grant her peace and healing from the emotional fears that may plague her. Comfort and keep her safe. Jesus place your hand on Maria and bless her in abundance that she might have access to help her friend. Keep her and her family safe as she walks your directed walk as your child, helping her friend in need. AMEN

I am so sorry this happened. Please relate prayers to her so she may know others, yes even those who don't know her from across the ocean, care.

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FLPALM 7/11/2013 7:41PM

    Maria, That truly is upsetting, for everyone! That poor, girl! I DO BELIEVE in ANGELS, and thank GOD that "an angel" came by to scare away the THUGS! I pray everyday, believe me, it is my way to talk to God, to meditate, and I always pray for PEACE in the world. I will do my best, to pray and hope, for the best.

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AMBER0406 7/11/2013 3:04PM

    Oh this is so sad. I am so sorry that this has happened. I will pray for her and her baby. I am truly sad for her and I pray for something good to come about in her life to make it easier. God bless.

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STEVEN2GO2 7/11/2013 12:01PM


I sometimes wonder why terrible things happen to good people. This is part of the reason I really wonder id the is a God! But I will wish for the best for your friend and happy for her that she has an awesome friend like you in her corner!

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CORTNEY-LEE 7/11/2013 11:59AM

    my heart goes out to this young woman.

I hope that she can find a safe situation for both her and her child.

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BOMBCHELL23 7/11/2013 9:05AM


This is such sad news and your right a discouragement for sure. I will pray that a solution is found that provides your friend with a safe environment and a loving environment for her child. By the way God knows your friend is on your heart and hears the prayers w/o you voicing them. I am glad to hear someone scared away the thugs before things went to a worse level but still sorry she went through such a trauma.

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KLEONIKI 7/11/2013 3:27AM

    May the lord!
I feel so very sorry for this sweet young mother as well as of all those vicitms of violence all around the world. I know that in us violence do exist and that we use and express it for a reason; but when blindness, despair, lack of knowledge take hold of our souls then something has to be done.
Maybe we should cultivate and bring more EMPATHY in our children to begin with.
Only if we feel the Other's feelings and stand in his shoes can we choose better even under pressure, despair or bad influence. I may sound didactic but i cannot express my fears otherwise for a civilization that is merely based on every kind of violence, money and phantasies of power..

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Was that Dumping Syndrome?

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

My Spark Buddy CORTNEY-LEE was blogging about the delightful deliciousness of eating globs of peanut butter, and about keeping portions limited to 1 tablespoon.

That developed into my own PB inclination.
Before my RNY surgery I loved putting a teaspoon of PB in my vanilla Protein Shake. Only I ate a couple of teaspoons before putting that one in my shake.
(Most people need a protein supplement after RNY, we don't absorb that so well)
Very bad idea. I felt nausea, foamy mouth, I vomited a little. (I did not know it was even possible to get food out after RNY) Was white as a sheet, shivering, and sweaty as well as a bit dizzy.
Was that the famous Dumping Syndrome?

For everybody who has an intact GI track. It is when the pouch releases food that has not been digested properly into the small intestine prematurely and the body reacts in alarm to what it perceives as, I suppose, having been 'shot in the gut' when it actually was just the pouch not doing it's part because of the surgery and not life threatening.
The thing is, this is supposed to last for 1-3 days, but my suffering was over in three hours.
What do you think, Sparkies who have pouches instead of stomachs?
Has the pouch police cited me for a diet violation, or was it just 'normal' indigestion?
The pouch police is supposed to get me in the gut when I eat things that are to high in fat, sugar or refined carbs. That is one of the reasons why the surgery works. Negative reinforcement.
Anyway, have a fun day, People!

I am off to do my 5km training and kettlebells at the gym. I tracked it yesterday but had to stay home to look after DD # 1.
Hate taking things off Exercise Tracker, and can't lie to SPARKWORLD.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMILINGEYES2 8/28/2013 8:40PM

    Hope you have been able to avoid any repeats of this. Sounds horrible.

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DIANITAH 7/19/2013 9:36AM

    Everyone is different about what makes them dump but yes, this was it!!

Ice cream makes me dump every single time. Even a couple of bites. Even sugar-free. In a way, for me, it's good since that used to be one of my worst vices.

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WJO1212 7/9/2013 8:30PM

    SOrry to say -but yes- classic. It may start almost immediately or up to 3 hrs later. But it has never lasted longer than an hour or so with me. I know know what it is when it starts and can ward off the worst by sipping water as soon as I realize what is up. Don't give up on the peanut butter. Try a little bit on a cracker in (when you can have crackers) a few weeks. I used to get really sick with eggs- now I do not unless it is fried. With me it is beef and pork. I can eat a hot dog but not steak- go figure. The main thing that is really bad for most is the high sugar like that piece of bd cake some one talks you into. A bite or two of cake is usually ok but avoid the frosting and the ice cream!!! I try to avoid those things anyway as that is how I got where I am today. Take things slow add one new thing at a time so you know what it is if you have a problem.

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REAGANESQUE 7/2/2013 7:14PM

    My friend, I know exactly what you are talking about. Been there and am trying to avoid it. Foamy mouth, vomiting a combo of foam and saliva...not good times. My doctor says this happens because I eat too fast, so I really have to slow it down, especially with chicken and meats. It usually passes in an hour or two, but it`s pretty horrible. Hang in there!

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FLPALM 7/2/2013 5:13PM

    I had GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY in 1984~ perhaps one of the earlier ones, done in BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS by the lead doctor, Dr. Robert Blackburn! My surgery, they removed 4ft of my intestine, which NO LONGER IS DONE, and several changes have been adjusted.

So here goes with some clarification:
DUMPING Syndrome is actually - "LOOSE WASTE!" When someone eats something that bothers their GI Tract, it will go through their system faster than a speeding bullet! NO FUN! For many, too much sugar, or sugary items, high fat, fried foods, chocolate, etc. causes this in most cases.

Having an upset GI, with the symtoms you described, seems more like the "WELCOME TO THE CLUB" as we called it back then. Again, NOT FUN, but it basically means, foods that you may have EATEN ALL YOUR YEARS PRIOR, are now NOT acceptable for your system. I Loved Milk as a child, teen, and growing up. Now, milk is a GUT WRETCHING KILLER! This feeling goes along with some of the same types of foods above, but the SENSATION IS VERY DIFFERENT! You will feel all the same as you did, then some people, like myself, will feel something almost undescribable. But this is my best description, even though not easy to say, "BUT LIKE YOUR INTESTINES ARE SIMILAR TO A TOWEL BEING WRUNG OUT AND TWISTED TIGHTLY, then to make matter worse, A LARGE SWORD BEING STABBED INTO YOUR BELLY! Yuck, yuck, and more yuck! This sensation can and will start within "MINUTES of eating, and LAST UP TO 1-3DAYS!" Honestly, mine would last for OVER 4HOURS, but not days, and I felt like I was dying!

I am NOT saying this to scare you! I am being honest! I am truly GLAD, I had MY Surgery, when I did. I do not talk anyone OUT of ANYTHING, I only want you to know this from my experience. My suggestion is this.....TRY THINGS, in moderation!
You have to learn, and teach yourself what will work, and will not. Please do not think I am a "know it all" I do not profess to be a doctor, nurse, or medical personal, but a person that truly cares to HELP YOU GET THROUGH Your recovery...I've been there, and done that. I sincerely hope this helps.


Comment edited on: 7/2/2013 5:16:24 PM

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JESS0107 7/2/2013 10:55AM

    Now you know what to avoid even though you had to suffer through the pain!! Thanks for sharing the info!!

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PATTYR81 7/2/2013 10:36AM

    Yep. I'm sorry to say I've been there and done that emoticon My worst experience was on Thanksgiving when I 'successfully' grazed thru the savory food items and then thought I could pick away at the pies. Unfortunately, my symptoms took 2 days to go away!!!

Most recently, I had this after I ate bbq ribs. Sauce had too much sugar and meat was too tough. Yikes!!!

Usually I have no problem with pork or beef, but chicken is NOT my friend.

I'm glad you are feeling better!!

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AMBER0406 7/2/2013 10:27AM

    Oh I am so sorry that you had to go through that. But unfortunately I think it will be a lot of trial and error. You're going to have to test foods now to see what your body likes these days and what it doesn't. At least you know to avoid the PB for now. emoticon Best of luck!!

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DSCROW 7/2/2013 9:40AM

    Oh, sorry :(. I fortunately have not experienced this yet. I do get overfull sometimes. Man I will wish I didn't take that last bite and walking around helps move and ease the discomfort. I do get all hot but not sweaty when this happens and I figure I just missed a true dumping experience by a hair. My hubby did have some dumping and it never lasted three days. There is not much to throw up so it tends to be slimy and foamy. He generally has the dumping diarrhea's shortly their after so if it's happening he's heading home or to the closest toilet as he knows he will need to be there shortly. Here's wishing this doesn't happen very often on this journey!

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CORTNEY-LEE 7/2/2013 9:18AM

    That is what it sounds like... ugh, I am so sorry you had to go through that! It sounds horrible! Even worse... it was caused by peanut butter! That is the one food that has been my saving grace!

I have had an unhealthy obsession with it lately, but I think that is because my body has been craving the fat in it. I had a meal higher in healthy fats and the cravings have went away, so I am pretty sure that is what it was.

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CELEST 7/2/2013 8:23AM

    Oh my word, must have been awful. So now you know, at least one thing to avoid.

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BARCONIUS 7/2/2013 8:15AM

    Oh, yes. That's dumping syndrome. 1 to 3 hours is about right. Once you recognize the onset of symptoms, you'll learn to back off quickly. I think you can consider that a violation. That part of your small intestine isn't accustomed to sugar and fat, and passes it quickly through to your bloodstream, not properly processed. That's why the speeding heart and sweats. It's too much raw energy for your system.

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CONCERNED85 7/2/2013 3:30AM

    I did not know that RNY was gastric bypass surgery until read a few of your previous blogs. I had gastric bypass surgery when I was 15 and weighed 275. There was not the regimen you had to go through to have the surgery when I had the surgery. The liquid diet was in the week I had to be in the hospital prior to surgery where they did a bunch of additional pre-surgery tests. The surgery did wonders for me and I maintained a weight of 130-150 until heavy depression set in at age 44. The serious depression caused me to gain 100 pounds. On the road to recovery from that with my therapist. Iron is what I did not absorb the way I should (all surgery people that way then) so have to take a vitamin B-12 shot once a month for the rest of my life. Yes you can vomit after the surgery. Doesn't happen as often though even with the flu, unless everything bulks in your stomach and won't move. When the bulking happens you feel awful until it goes through and feel better quicker if vomit. It sounds like reactions I have to certain foods. For years and still at times these reactions happened to me. Marshmallows, ice cream, whip cream, milk, and some other sweet foods would do this. When it happens have dill pickles handy! A pickle and a piece of cheese (even a prepackage slice) would counteract this horrible reaction within a half hour or less. I think the key piece to this is the pickle. My kids knew I would not eat a lot of foods unless I was home because had to make sure I was close to the pickles. Your stomach and system will not be able to process all foods the way they used to and your stomach is very small yet. It may be trial and error until you know which foods will do this to you. Everyone is different. Meat (especially steak) would bulk on me. My mom and one of my sisters couldn't do the dairy thing at all for a long time. I'm fine with cheese, cottage cheese, and other dairy. Now can have a small amount of whip cream, but not too much or the reaction starts. Hope this helps. Long explanation but facts. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/2/2013 3:35:01 AM

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