Monday, April 30, 2012
The day started well with a nice loss of a pound on the scales, exactly what I'd hoped for. One more pound and I'll finally be within the "healthy" BMI range. I really can't wait, that would be my first major goal ticked off. It's really annoying me that I let myself go enough to become medically unhealthy and overweight, but it's also spurring me on with my lifestyle change.
I wore a white t-shirt today that I bought in October but always felt way too self-conscious to wear as it seriously showed off my tummy bulge. Guess what? It was actually a bit loose!! And I didn't have to suck my stomach in to the point of breathlessness, just reminded myself to stand upright and tall and there were no hanging bulging bits anywhere to be seen!!
The workout video was a bit more challenging today, as I couldn't do all of the exercises. Turns out my wrist isn't doing quite as well as I thought it was and I can't crawl on all fours just yet, but I tried my very best and went for a couple of walks as well as a sprinting session in the evening.
Food wasn't too bad today, as it was soup day. I really love soup for dinner, as it's so filling, comforting, yet ridiculously low in calories. I had sorrel soup which I hadn't had in about a decade (that's because you can't buy it anywhere and I have no idea what garden sorrel looks like and probably would have picked up something poisonous if left to my own devices). I did however have quite the urge to snack today, though as long as I'm within my calorie range I'm happy at the end of the day.
Personally, the day was quite challenging yet again. I'm struggling to make myself think about anything but the breakup and it's really getting on my nerves. Then again, it's only been a week and I'm really really fighting to make the most of what I have and appreciate the course my life is taking. I firmly believe that time will heal my wounds, though I wish I could speed it up a little bit already.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
After quite a bit of uhming and ahhing I decided to join this Spring Into Shape Bootcamp Challenge after all. I'm feeling a bit... errr, fragile at the moment. I've been in a relationship with the same person for such a long time I learned to define myself through it, especially after getting engaged. Now all that is gone and I'm struggling to let go and to think of myself for once.
I thought this challenge would be good for me, as I'd discovered recently that exercise can actually make me quite happy and I wanted to lose some excess weight for ages. To be quite honest, my weight struggle started with that relationship. I was skinny, but wanted to be skinnier, then kicked all those unhealthy habits like starving myself for days and went straight to the other extreme with late-night binges and comfort eating in front of the TV. It would be great to find some sort of balance again. And furthermore, a bit of a challenge will give me something to focus on instead of dwelling in the past.
I actually got pretty excited about joining yesterday, but woke up this morning feeling a bit weird as usual - I can distract myself during the day, but I can't control what I dream about. The scales showed a bit more than yesterday, but that was to be expected after a massive family breakfast and a barbecue in the afternoon. This is why I NEED to weigh myself daily, as I know now that I need to be more careful for the rest of the week, as opposed to just cheating my way through and getting a bit of a shocker during my next weigh-in.
The workout video really surprised me. The intensity was perfect - I managed to keep up well enough to break a sweat, but without desperately gasping for air at every move. It also showed me that I am quite possibly the most uncoordinated person in the world. Let's just say, I improvised a lot, tried my best and I'm very glad no one was watching. And because it felt like it was over so quickly I did it a total of three times.
Food was okay today. If I was on my own I'd probably be eating pretty much nothing right now, but I'm actually pretty grateful that my parents are looking after me until I get my life sorted out again - even if their idea of looking after someone tends to consist of feeding them lots of fatty foods, haha. At least I know I've burnt it all off and I'm actually quite excited for tomorrow!
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Let's start straight away by not beating about the bush:
I've had a bad couple of days. Not bad as in unhappy or painful, but bad diet and exercise-wise. I've been persistently overeating, thanks mainly due to a gigantic and completely overwhelming sugar craving. On top of that I've been exercising half-heartedly, or in the case of yesterday, not at all (fortunately I'd spent all day running around town yesterday anyway, whereas I would have normally taken the car, so it's a bit of progress - baby steps!).
My weight hasn't budged for the best part of a week and though I know I should consider myself lucky I haven't gained any weight considering how I've been doing, I'm still majorly annoyed. I'm now doing WORSE than the target set by SparkPeople, which is already very low (read: achievable).
Today I've picked myself up a little to clean up what I've done so far. I'm trying to control my sugar cravings with fruit and the odd cup of fruit juice and so far it's getting better already. I have to admit I'm still really struggling to stay within my calorie range. I'm always either way above it or way too low and if the latter is the truth I don't particularly feel like stuffing my face mindlessly, just because my tracker tells me I should. All I want at the moment is to get off the rollercoaster and onto the cute romantic swan shaped paddle boats when it comes to my calorie intake.
Here's something my fiance told me today: Since I last saw him he's dropped 21 pounds. That was almost two months ago before this whole surgery circus started and I have to say my jaw dropped. Here's me just trying to get into a healthy BMI range by the time I get back, but I'm struggling. I'd have to lose 4kg in a week and a half. Possible, but improbable without doing something disastrous to my health. Talk about competition, though - the race is definitely on!
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Just a quick one today, as I haven't really got anything interesting to say today.
I've just come back from my run and for the first time I didn't feel all amazing and elated, but pretty p*ed off. The mosquitos (/mosquitoes??) are out - by the millions. And during my lovely evening runs in the forest along the river my sweaty heat attracts them like a magnet.
I spent my run flailing one hand in front of my face like mad and using the other one to pick them out of my eye lashes while coughing and spluttering them out of my mouth and nose... YUM!
Well, ladies and gents, this is the downside to exercise outdoors that nobody ever tells you about. Repellant doesn't work, full stop. If anyone reading this knows of a good way of keeping them at bay then please let me know. I have no time to go running in the mornings and don't particularly feel like running through town or on a treadmill either. Oh, the joys of nature, eh?
Saturday, March 31, 2012
My lovely parents, who are taking care of me while I recover after my surgery, decided to treat us all with a meal out at a really great Italian restaurant.
Eating out time is usually panic time for me. Well, it's panic before I get to the restaurant, then with one glance at the menu I'll throw all my good intentions overboard and binge on unhealthy food, followed by panic and pangs of guilt when I leave the restaurant.
Today my appetite slowly crept back on me, but I still managed to just eat a bit of fruit and veg throughout the day. When we got to the restaurant I was actually hungry, BUT check this out:
-Rather than dive straight into the bread basket and almost suffocating on its contents I had a little bit and held off for the main course
- I didn't have a starter/appetizer
- I stuck to ONE glass of wine which I alternated with sips of water
- I ordered a healthy main course and took slow conscious bites
- And then I felt like dessert, so I had one without feeling guilty the tiniest bit
I feel like it was okay to have a dessert, as we don't go out much and I felt like it. I don't believe in depriving yourself and only living off diet foods. Tell me I can't have something and I'll want it even more in an instant!
I walked out of that restaurant without feeling guilty. Instead I felt content and like I'd had a nice treat which I deserved - but without derailing all of my efforts. I'd compensated for it throughout the day and still managed to fit into my calorie range.
On my page it says tha one of my goals is to no longer feel anxious and nervous in restaurants and today I came a major step closer to that.
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