Saturday, April 12, 2014
The last couple of days I've been a bit under the weather...and the weather has been beautiful, so I have to go pretty deep to get under it
Thursday night I woke up a few times with mildly itchy palms. It wasn't bad though so didn't think much of it.
By Friday afternoon though, I had chills and the itching had gone from mild to wild, spread up the inside of my arms and I was scratching like crazy and icing the areas alternately.
I took a Benedryl and went to sleep. I've been racking my brains to figure out what I had done differently. Clearly this was a reaction to something. I kept thinking of two things... shampoo, it wasn't new but my head had started itching...and the other thing was an organic lavender hand sanitizer that I used on Thursday for the first time and then again on Friday.
Here is one side reaction pulled from a med site:
"Some people may develop an allergic reaction to lavender. Nausea, vomiting, headache, and chills have also been reported in some people after inhaling or absorbing lavender through the skin. Lavender applied to skin may cause irritation in some people."
So, I'm pretty certain it was the lavender. Hoping after the detox tea and lots of water it will work it's way out of my system.
Lesson: remember not all things organic are good for all of us...cyanide, poison ivy, and countless poison plants are organic...but not necessarily beneficial.
Wednesday, April 09, 2014
Happy Hump Day everyone!
Friday, April 04, 2014
This weekend marks one year since my 25 year old nephew took his own life. What is there really to say? His parents were and still are, devastated. I felt and still do feel, awful. His sister, although having a new baby who turns one year old next month, also went through, and continues to go through, her own sense of loss. I was grateful at the time that my parents were both gone and would not have to endure the pain and misery of the loss of their grandchild.
I am no longer in the same part of the country as my family, and in one sense maybe I am removed from the intense pain that close physical proximity might bring. I feel sadness and even guilt over this. Yes, I know I have “nothing” to “be” guilty over. But this not change the “feeling,” the sense that if I was closer perhaps I could help somehow . . . that perhaps if I was still there, I could have even helped prevent the tragedy. I know “realistically” this is not so. Scott knew he was loved. He had other “issues” that made him feel hopeless. He was in therapy and the therapist was saying all the “right things.” My brother knew in a sense, Scott was in trouble, because they had cancelled a vacation they were planning to go on, but didn’t want to leave him home alone.
But Scott was determined. He planned his end carefully and meticulously, searching all the websites that gave him details on the best methods and what might foil his plans. He did not want to “fail” at this. He had the rope ready and already knew which pipe in the basement was the strongest to not give way from his weight. He planned for the time that he knew his parents would be gone for at least a couple hours and had everything ready to put an end to his poor, sad and hopeless life. He waited until his sister was 1 month away from giving birth to the family’s first grandchild. My brother is absolutely convinced this was his plan, Scott’s way of helping his mother especially, to get through his loss. He knew what this baby would mean to his mom and dad…he was right in that respect. Little Olivia bears a heavy burden for such a tiny baby and she is unaware of it yet. All the hope and love for the future to carry her grandparents through this tragedy has come from her. . . and of course from my niece. I do what I can from a distance.
Scott was too young, didn’t have enough Faith . . . in God, or himself . . . to know that “this too, shall pass.” He could not “see” how things can change in an instant. Scott didn’t see that although little Olivia would bring love and comfort, that nothing will ever replace him. . . That his parents will NEVER stop grieving for him.
What else is there really to say? For those of you that made it through this blog and believe in prayer, I would be grateful if you would lift up my family in prayer this weekend as they remember their terrible loss. Thank you!
May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. (NIV)
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
I've lost track of how long it is since I adopted Louie and Lily after losing my poor beloved Smokey-Boy...I think this May will be 3 years. Louie came to me from the shelter, still a sick little boy. His digestive issues were a constant struggle for him and me. His fur was dry and almost brittle, unlike Lily who's fur is unrivalled. I say this having petted countless fur babies through the years...her fur is like the down of some unknown creature that God created just to show how soft a cat's coat could actually be....anyway, my poor boy's coat was the total opposite of hers. I just accepted this as the type of fur he had and haven't focused much on it.
Well, the other day I went to stroke him, as I always do...but I couldn't believe what I was feeling. His coat was soft like a kitten's, and so luxurious. I kept going back to touch him to see if I had imagined it. But it was and is real.
So what conclusions do I draw from this...vigilance over the last few years in working to get his digestive track on track...in addition to bringing his"episodes" down to 1-2x per week compared to 3-5x per day, have shown up in a healthier coat as well.
Did patience and love have anything to do with this? Well, of course I'd say..."You bet." But then I'm biased.
PS - I forgot to mention Lily is part Maine Coon, so of course her coat is exceptionally soft.
Monday, January 20, 2014
As I was helping my friend put a wardrobe together to start a new job in my office, I found myself going through my own closet...first to see if there was anything that she might be able to use, but then to do what I've been meaning to do for over a year...clean it out. It's amazing how cluttered a closet can become...things thrown on top shelves to be used later, never to be looked at again...clothes picked up here and there, in a variety of sizes...some smaller, convinced I'll lose the weight and be able to wear them, others to big, old and dowdy...not me all, but convinced I wasn't thin enough to wear anything better.
I got to work, trying to be realistic in what I would be able to wear and kind to myself in what I felt I just didn't need to wear even if it fit.
I organized everything according to color. Loaded up 4 bags to take to Good Will, included old bags and shoes I won't wear.
I keep going into the closet, just to look at it and I feel so good. I feel lighter and less burdened. I keep thinking how this might be related to carrying around extra, unneeded weight.
I'm thinking if cleaning out one closet can have this profound an effect on me, what else in my life is weighing down?
I'm just thinking... Nancy
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