Thursday, October 01, 2009
" Competition is easier to accept if you realize
That it is not an act of aggression.
I've worked with my best friends in direct competition.
Whatever you want in life
Other people are going to want it, too.
Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea
That you have an equal right to it."
--- Diane Sawyer
Thank you, Dark_Storm, for posting the above quote in the 30 somethings wanting to lose 100 lbs. team! It really helped me see something from a different point of view.
I recently joined a Mommy Boot Camp at my gym. It started a week ago and on the first night I joined the group of about 20 women who were gathered near the track to get tested and start boot camp. The problem was, I was the only one there who was even slightly overweight. All of the other moms were thin, nearly all of them in really good shape! I'm talking muscular legs and the stance of an athelete. I was overwhelmed and suddenly felt naked, like everyone could see just how out of shape I am and what in the heck was I doing there. I, in turn, wondered what all of these athletes needed a boot camp for anyway? I am not just overweight, but I am considered morbidly obese at 264 lbs. I haven't run in at least 20 years when it was required in High School. Yet I was here, at this Boot Camp, surrounded by these beautiful, in shape women. I was terrified.
After doing countless pushups, situps, squats and planks it was time to tackle the stairs. I had heard about this from people at my gym but now I was in the thick of it. We were told to run up the stairs, taking every other stair, three times. There were 5 flights of stairs. I could barely walk up every other stair, let alone run. I did my best though, and the first set I did take every other stair. The next sets after I took every stair. We did three sets of this, so that is 9 times up and down the 5 flights of stairs. Needless to say, by the end it was all I could do to walk up the stairs, holding onto the railing (which you aren't supposed to do) and wanting to die inside. But I kept going. I felt bad for the others, that they had to deal with such an overweight person in their boot camp (note I say "their" not "our") I was holding them up. I was embarassed and ashamed. I started to stop at the top of the flight to let the entire group of 20 women go in front of me, so as to not slow them down.
Wait a second here...wasn't I in this for me? Don't I have a right to this, as the quote above says? I realized that this isn't the first time in my life that I've put myself second, or third, or fourth. You get the idea. Just because I am overweight doesn't mean I am a second class citizen. And the thing of it is, for all I know none of these women thought badly of me. It was me thinking these negative thoughts, not them.
This thought was further exemplified by the next thing that happened. As I was rounding a corner, red-faced and about to faint, a girl joined me and ran next to me. She said "You are doing a great job. When I was 7 wks. postpartum I would never have been able to do this." I looked at her, tears in my eyes, both grateful and ashamed at the same time. Grateful for her kind words, words that I hadn't expected to come from her, the most beautiful and in shape girl on the team. Ashamed because I was the one who was judging. I judged them for their athleticism and good looks just as I thought they were judging me. I realized that maybe, just maybe, these girls wanted me to succeed just as much as they wanted to succeed themselves. That maybe this boot camp stuff is a team effort and we all win.
I looked up the definition of T.E.A.M. and it means: Together Everyone Achieves More. I like the sound of that.
It's interesting that in the word "Impossible" there are actually two words: "I'M" and "POSSIBLE". I am possible. I AM POSSIBLE. So therefore, nothing is impossible.
I also realized that I can be an inspiration to these women, I can show up every day, show my heart, and do my best. That's all anyone can ask and I pray to God for the strength to do this with grace and to take the self-pity out of my heart, it doesn't belong there, it belongs on the floor, along with my sweat.
"For nothing is impossible with God."
~ Luke 1:37 (NIV)
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it."
~ 1 Corinthians 9:24 ESV
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I am so thankful now more than ever for the many blessings in my life that the Lord has bestowed upon me. Most recently the birth of my beautiful daughter, Marlo, who will be 8 weeks old tomorrow. He has also gifted me with the most wonderful and caring husband a woman could ask for. On top of that is my 3 yr. old daughter, Lucy, who is so smart and bright and caring. She has a true heart of gold. I also have my health. Yes, I am overweight but I am healthy. I can walk, run to lose this weight. Lord, thank you for all of these things and more.
Lord, let me thank you.
I thank you for:
* my fear, which sends me under your wing;
* my doubt, which obsesses me with you;
* my shame, which strips me of self;
* my frustration, which exhausts my competence;
* my perfectionism which exposes my shortcomings;
* my failures, which break my heart;
* your birth, for giving value to my world;
* your life, for showing the way of your kingdom;
* your death, for cleansing sin's decay;
* your resurrection, for breaking the wall of death;
* your righteousness, imputed to me;
* your coming again to restore your creation to wholeness;
* your love, which sets me free for all eternity.
Selection Taken From:
101 Cups of Water: Relief and Refreshment for the Tired, Thirsty Soul by C.D. Baker
Thursday, November 13, 2008
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."
~ Psalm 20:7
This comes from "The Dieter's Prayer Book" by Heather Kopp.
Diet is not a four letter word. Diet does not have to mean deprivation. It can be viewed as:
D - a Decision to change the way I eat and the way I approach food.
I - an Invitation to experience God's power and guidance
E - an Educated plan for long-term health and happiness
T - a Trust that God will never give up on me or love me less - no matter what
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Well I earned my 15 Pounds Lost on SparkPeople icon today! The past two weeks I've had small gains, a pound there, a half pound there, and they were the best two weeks I'd ever had - working out every day, tracking my nutrition, etc. I felt defeated.
I felt under the weather this week, so I didn't work out as much and I honestly didn't track my food. I didn't overeat, but I wasn't tracking everything that went in my mouth.
Guess what? I lost 2.5 this week! I am now 261, lower than I have been in a very long time, and I've lost 15 lbs. w/ SparkPeople. I feel hopeful.
Thank you Lord.
I read this on another website and thought it was so inspiring I wanted to share.
May this be the day when it all comes together * happiness in your heart * serenity in your soul * success in all the things you do * time enough to reach for your dreams * patience to see you through * inner beauty * an open mind * days that find you feeling wonderful * confidence, strong and lasting * strength to do what needs to be done * believing in tomorrow * living in today * knowing the right way is the only way * clearing out the confusion * facing the facts * not being afraid * never giving up * finding hope in hard-to-find places * putting smiles on other people's faces * knowing when to talk * and knowing when to listen * standing by the truth * being firm in your commitments * using your insight to set you right * going from rock bottom to mountain top * learning from mistakes * understanding the greatness within * looking for the good that is always there * sharing the things that need to be shared * remembering that it can all be a puzzle, but solving problems is one of the sweet joys of life * you can always pick up the pieces * and you can always make things right.
- Douglas Richards
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
THIS IS A POEM WRITTEN BY MY MOTHER TO ME (10.11.08)
Klutz and Clumsy
Ugly and Hurtful names
she had been called by others,
and associated with herself
As she thought about her
life, and those titles given
her, a smile started to
form, a wee one at first
and then a bigger one
until a laugh exploded
from her mouth.
She pictured herself
as a dancer, spinning
and twirling, faster and
faster, and not stopping
before she got dizzy,
which was the safe way,
but continuing to twirl,
until she would fall over in
utter joy. Klutz indeed!
She realized that non-klutzs
were only people who
stopped twirling too soon!!
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