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The Not Really a Progress Report, Report - March 2012

Monday, April 02, 2012

I wasn't going to blog about March, because, as I said in my status update, "March was a wash." Well, actually...not really.

I did some great things in March. And the fact that instead of losing 5.5 lbs., which was my goal, I gained 1 lb. Well. So what? I'm really sick of my negative attitude about this plateau/rollercoaster/ride that I am on. I am going to celebrate my accomplishments anyway.

I rocked March. I actually actually lost 4.5 lbs. in March -- I just gained those before losing them. I was at 199 at one point in March. I'm 194.5 now. That's why looking at the number at the beginning of the month and the end is sometimes not accurate.

And if the scale doesn't reflect my awesomeness in March further, well, it will. Hopefully in April, but if not, I'm going to keep on doing what I am doing. For me I do have to be perfect or I gain weight. I can point out the 5 days that I went over calories in March and I wouldn't take away any of them. A 13 year wedding anniversary for me and my husband. A bridal shower. A birthday celebration. A wedding anniversary celebration for my parents of 43 years. And a vacation day off of work with my kids where we laid around and watched movies most of the day and ate popcorn because it was raining outside. No, I wouldn't take any of those away.

And the fact that 95% of the time I am doing what I "should" be, I know that the scale will eventually move downward. I'm too close to goal to give up or even think such ridiculous thoughts.

I'm going to just keep putting one foot in front of the others, and step out in faith and know that eventually I will be rewarded.


Start weight: 193.5
Goal weight: 188
End weight: 194.5
Weight lost: (Goal 5.5 lbs.) - Gained1 lb.
Total weight lost this year: 8.5 lbs.
Goal weight progress: 16.5 more lbs. to go to reach goal weight!
Total weight lost: 103.5


emoticonI reached 1,338 fitness minutes in March. My goal was 1,000.

emoticonI ran the Shamrock Shuffle 8k in 56:16. My goal was to beat last year's time by a minute. I beat it by over 5.

emoticonI was finally able to do a reverse plank – before I couldn't lift my butt off the ground.



Weight goal: To lose 5 lbs. this month.


To start training for a longer distance.

To incorporate yoga back into my routine.

GOAL: Burn 2200 cals. per week:

Monday Walk (150)
Tuesday Run (525)
Wednesday Walk & kickboxing (200)
Thursday Run (525)
Friday Long walk & kickboxing (300)
Saturday Long Run (630 - 700)
Sunday walking and yoga: (125)

Total: 2455 - 2625


1400 - 1750 calories
10 glasses of water per day.
Only 2 cups of coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon.
NO dairy – going cold turkey. (working on this!)
Get all of my freggies in.
Popcorn – break out the air popper and make it truly healthy. Then I can have 2 bowls.
Wine – only 1 – 2 glasses on special occasions. No more casual drinking.
Track all of my food into the fitness tracker and check my stats nightly to see where I need to tweak anything.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AKIMA06 4/14/2012 5:42PM

  I admire the way you post your goals. I need to do that but I am afraid. Maybe I will get enough courage to do that.

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NAMMYOFTHREE 4/14/2012 9:50AM


PS You are not a number...the scale doesn't know or care what an awesome woman you are! Look in the mirror and see how far you've come. Amazing!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SARASMILING 4/12/2012 8:35PM

    I cut out dairy too. I also have been really wanting to get yoga back into my life. It's so hard for me to pull it together and do at home but we just can't swing classes right now. I REALLY need to suck it up though and just do it. I miss it too much not to. I hear it calling my name. lol!
We can do this!! One day at a time. :)
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BMCKEOW1 4/9/2012 2:02PM

    Looks like March was a good month. Don't regret any of those five times though. Sounds like they were more then worth it.

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GETNHEALTHY45 4/7/2012 9:46AM

    I love your attitude. Yes! Do celebrate the successes. The scale is not the end-all be-all I always thought it was, though I do weigh myself every day to know how what I ate the day before effected me. You're doing fabulous! Keep up the good work!

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SHAR8676 4/6/2012 2:23PM

    I love how you chose to focus on what you HAVE done. I do that too. It is what keeps me moving forward. It is what keeps me positive. The scale is not moving as I would like it to. I am looking into figuring out what I need to be doing better to get the weight off. I love how you show what you have done, and I think you have a lot of success to celebrate so many things and have such a small gain. That alone is success!!!! Your picking back up and continuing on your journey...again another success!!!!

So glad you shared this, very motivational... emoticon

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AMBER281 4/3/2012 12:32PM

    Keep moving forward!
Good luck with your April goals!

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NEELIXNKES 4/3/2012 10:59AM

    emoticon Keep pushing forward! emoticon

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SEWINGMAMACDS 4/3/2012 10:28AM

    Sometimes we just have to look at those NSV's! emoticon

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JENJESS48 4/3/2012 8:48AM

    You did really well in March, no matter what that stupid scale says. Life isn't about perfection and you chose the days to go over wisely. I'm glad you enjoyed them and let go of the guilt!

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NEWGAL78 4/2/2012 10:49PM

    You are still doing emoticon!!! We still have to enjoy life and learn to live healthy. It's a struggle sometimes but it's possible. Some days I just want to throw my scale out of the window. So I can definitely relate with the temptations and setbacks. Hang in there because April is a new month and a new start.


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BEAUTY_WITHIN 4/2/2012 10:09PM

    Looks like you did pretty good in March! Keep it up!

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NADINEL 4/2/2012 8:44PM

    You are right! You did rock March! Living your life is the most important of all!

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KISHYMARIE 4/2/2012 8:16PM

    I love what KITHKINCAID said. You are rocking it! And so what if you gained a pound, you've got the right attitude. And your attitude is what WILL make it happen. Keep up the good work!

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    I'm always proud of you! You are doing great sweetie. Love you!

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CERULEANSIN516 4/2/2012 5:48PM

    It sounds like you had an awesome month! I like your goals for April, good luck.

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CAMAEL100 4/2/2012 5:18PM

    What a great month you've had. Congrats on your major loss to date - don't let anything let you forget what you have achieved - total inspiration

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VICKI-B--56 4/2/2012 4:53PM

  You did great in March!!!! And I'm sure you'll do even better in April. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KATHIERAE 4/2/2012 4:38PM

    Oh I am so glad you came back to look at what you are doing/have done well! That is so important for continued motivation... and in sharing you motivate all of us too, and I for one appreciate that so very very much!!! emoticon emoticon

Stupid scales... emoticonkeep rockin'--you'll triumph over the scale in the long run!

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GETFIT2LIVE 4/2/2012 4:37PM

    You did rock March--the scale does not always tell the real story, as you know all too well. You got this!

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SMILINGTREE 4/2/2012 4:28PM

    I know what you mean about days that you wouldn't take away but that seem to hinder fitness progress. I've missed work outs because a friend visited unexpectedly, or over-eaten at a birthday celebration, and you are right, those things are super important. Maybe it is just important to have those days as it is to be continually evaluating our health and fitness level.

You DID rock March :) Being able to perform an exercise you couldn't do before is awesome...and 1338 fitness minutes? Holy moly! That's amazing.

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LIVIN2LOVE1 4/2/2012 4:22PM

    I think you had an amazing March too. Even if the scale doesn't confirm it for you.

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IGSBETH 4/2/2012 4:21PM

    That's more like it! Rock what you got, LOL.

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KITHKINCAID 4/2/2012 4:13PM

    The fact that you keep coming back to the ring with your gloves up is a true testament to how hard you rocked March. I will ALWAYS be proud of your determination and your grace at doing all of this with more challenges than I have in my life (kids, husband, extended family). Wow. You're amazing.

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KASPARFAN 4/2/2012 4:09PM

    That's a pretty good Non-Progress Report! :) Minus the 1lb weight gain, look at what you've accomplished physically! That 1lb, and more, will eventually follow suit with your exercise/physical feats! Keep up the good work!

ps--your "total weight lost" is AMAZING! :)

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Shamrock Shuffle 8k Race Report

Friday, March 30, 2012

This is my favorite race. Over 34,000 runners participated in the 33rd annual Shamrock Shuffle, the traditional kick-off to the running season in Chicago.

This race and I have a long history together. My family has been participating in this race for the last several years. They used to offer a walking option for a 5k distance, but they don't anymore.

2007 - I walked it with my husband, daughter, dad, and two sisters. Jim had Lucy in tow (look how small she is!) (I am the second from the right)

2 years ago I caught the running bug while walking the Shuffle with my dad and feeling the urge to run. That same year I crossed the finish line with my dad, dead last.

2010 - Me, my dad and my sister Kris

Last year was my year for redemption. I ran the entire thing. That was my goal. My goal this year was to simply beat last year's time by one minute.

I not only beat my last year's time by one minute, I beat it by over FIVE minutes.

1:01:48 (2011)

56:16 (2012)

I was ecstatic!

And what's even better to me than time is the way I felt - both before, during and after the race.

Last year I was scared. I ran it alone and standing waiting to run in a crowd of 40,000 can be intimidating. During the race last year I was dying and afterward I was so tired that in every picture my smile is the same (strained).

This year I had FUN. I wasn't nervous at all and I actually wore a cute running skirt and compression socks. As I was running through the streets of Chicago I was loving it. Afterward I felt energized, and I felt like I could have run MORE. (Half marathon, do you hear me calling your name?)

My husband and daughters came to cheer me on - they saw me at Mile 2 and then caught up with me at Mile 4 and my husband actually ran along the sidewalk for a bit as I was running, it was so cool! A traveling cheering section!

My favorite signs I saw along the way?


"Don't poop."

"I thought this was a pub crawl." - t-shirt

I didn't bring my camera, so these pictures from the local paper will have to do.

But I did purchase my finisher photo as I knew I would have no pictures of my own.

The start of the race, courtesy Chicago Tribune.

Under the first bridge! Photo Chicago Tribune.

Running through the streets. Chicago Tribune.

Plenty of bananas afterward. Chicago Tribune.

Proof of me crossing the finish line (MarathonFoto)

New PR!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NORAB52GOOD 4/8/2012 12:59PM

    It is a great race! I have only done it once but it was awesome. I love your transformation through pictures. And what a great time!!!

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NEELIXNKES 4/2/2012 8:16AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SPARKLISE 4/1/2012 5:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AMBER281 4/1/2012 4:56PM

    Great job and it looks like you had a fun time!

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IGSBETH 3/31/2012 1:08PM


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ZURDTA- 3/31/2012 5:49AM

    Yay - way to go! Fantastic progress xx

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OVERHAULING-ME 3/30/2012 11:33PM

    emoticon Amazing results! It's great to see how you've improved over the years!

Loved the outfit!

That is A LOT of people running!


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BIRDLSLAURIE 3/30/2012 9:30PM

    congratulations! That is awesome.

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KAKLUCK 3/30/2012 8:45PM

    Awesome!!!! Just think how great you'll do next year!

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WINNIE1978 3/30/2012 7:53PM

    Love the progress you've made with this race. I can see why it's your favorite. emoticon

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SLIMLEAF 3/30/2012 5:59PM

    Excellent! Congratulations!

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    emoticon. emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 3/30/2012 2:00PM

    Awesome job! You look great in your running outfit. Those races that we go back and do over and over again as a different experience each time are really special. Way to go on blowing your time out of the water!

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 3/30/2012 1:50PM


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SMILINGTREE 3/30/2012 1:18PM

    Thanks so much for writing this post. I am registered for an 8K in late May and feel pretty nervous about it. The farthest I've ever been able to run without walking (always my goal in a race - to finish without walking) is 4 miles, plus, this race is "mostly uphill" according to the organizers, and is put on by a very competitive local track club! eeeekkkk! But you look so happy, and this post is so upbeat, I feel inspired and a little less terrified.


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BMCKEOW1 3/30/2012 1:14PM

    Looks like you had fun and that's what's important. Congrats on not only beating your time but for also beating your goal. That's impressive.

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KITHKINCAID 3/30/2012 1:06PM

    Ahhh! I'm so proud of you! And you BETTER get on board for that half marathon girl - I'm totally running one with you next year. I'm totally digging your cute outfit :) But what the heck that the shirts were RED this year??? Makes no sense to me at all. Good for you for rockin the green!

WELL DONE! Mojo apparently worked his little gnome magic. Hehehe.

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TORIAMAE 3/30/2012 12:56PM

    Contratulations on a great race!

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SCOTTPILGRIM 3/30/2012 12:13PM

    Way to go! Nice job putting together pictures from the course.

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SIMPLY-EVA 3/30/2012 11:59AM

  That is so fantastic! I love seeing how much progress you have made in just a few years! Congrats to you and how you are doing awesome things!



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    Do you have ANY idea how proud of you I am? You have come so far! You are my inspiration and I love you so much!!!!!!!!!! Keep on shuffling beautiful!

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/30/2012 11:38AM

    Nicely done! The smile says it all; you definitely need to consider a half marathon. It's so fun to do the same race each year and reflect on how far you've come, isn't it? You rocked it!

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LIVIN2LOVE1 3/30/2012 11:34AM

    That is so awesome! You are glowing in your finish pic. I'm running my first 5K in September. I haven't yet started training and I'm nervous as heck. Your blog eased my tension. Thanks for blogging about it!

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MAGGIE805 3/30/2012 11:00AM

    Congratulations!!! That race looked like a lot of fun. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENJESS48 3/30/2012 10:59AM

    You're such an inspiration, Kathy! Way to go!

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Getting off of this Rollercoaster

Monday, March 19, 2012

I am not happy. For a person who is usually cheerful, I am downright depressed right now.

It isn't fair. It just isn't fair that when I have a bad week I regain weeks worth of work.

I am sick of having to be perfect all the time.

I just want off of this ride.

A few weeks ago I was down to my lowest weight in the past 10 yrs., 193.5. I vowed I wouldn't go back up above 195. At my Saturday weigh-in I was 198.5. Today, because I have a sick sense of humor, I got on the scale again and I was 199.5. To say I am disappointed is an understatement.

Last week a lot of things happened to get me to where I am today. I can whine all I want, say it's not fair, etc., but looking at the facts they look something like this:

emoticonI wasn't feeling well last week. Low energy, head cold. This beautiful Chicago weather does have a down side.

emoticonI only worked out one day last week.

emoticonI got my period.

emoticonI had three family events, where despite my best efforts to make good choices, I still over indulged, bringing my total calorie count up to over 2,000 for the day, and in some cases 2,500.

emoticonI decided that the chocolate-covered sunflower seeds my husband brought home from the store were "healthy" and took a handful, or two, or three, out regularly.

emoticonI incorporated dairy into my diet again.

emoticonI indulged in wine and margaritas.

emoticonI ate too much popcorn.

emoticonI was lazy.

Are these excuses? No. Just the simple reality of it. So when I find I want to whine "It's not fair", I had an especially bad week overall, it wasn't just one small thing, my body could have handled that. It was a series of unfortunate events that brought on my weight gain. 3 lbs. this week, 2 lbs. last week and that extra pound or two from too much salt.

But you know what?

I am tired.

Darn tired.

Here's what a typical roller coaster looks like:

And here's what my weight loss graph looks like:

A little too similar lately if you ask me. Up, down, up, down. And I'm just DONE with it all.

I'm changing this ride NOW.


emoticonBecause I no longer like the mood swings associated with the up and down of the scale, and of my diet.

emoticonBecause I am not afraid of being under 190.

emoticonBecause I wanted to be at goal weight by May 19th for my sister's wedding.

emoticonBecause I have more important things to accomplish in life rather than tackling the beast of a scale.

emoticonBecause I want to get on with my life.

emoticonBecause I have an 8k to train for coming up in less than a week!

emoticonBecause, in the words of Stewart Smally from SNL, I am good enough....I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me :)

So, what am I gonna do about it now that my whining and crying is over with?

emoticonI'm going to start by going out at lunch and buying myself some new running kicks. It's time, and my knees are starting to feel it.

emoticonI'm going to run tonight.

emoticonTomorrow I am going to walk.

emoticonThen I'm going to box.

emoticonThen I'm going to run again.

emoticonThen I will walk (again).

emoticonThen I will lift some heavy weights.

emoticonThen I will rest.

emoticonThen I will run my 8k.

And I will repeat the following week, perhaps not in that order, but a few things are certain:

emoticonI will run 3x per week.

emoticonI will box 1x per week.

emoticonI will walk 6 days a week.

emoticonI will rest one.

And I will eat 90% clean, whole foods. I will stop eating the junk hubby brings home - last night it was chocolate peanut clusters - Why you ask?? Because they were "cheap and on sale". I'm sorry, but I'm worth more than $1.99 of chocolate covered peanuts.

And until that scale budges, NO popcorn, NO wine, NO margaritas.

Enough is enough.

I'm aiming for a 4 lb. loss this week. If I could put on 3 this week, I can sure try to take it off, and then some.

And the thing about roller coasters?


They always,

eventually, have to come



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLIMBERS_ROCK 7/14/2013 2:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOANNHUNT 1/22/2013 3:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROZZALYN 6/20/2012 10:50AM

    Awesome!!!!! You were MY voice! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRAMSROC 5/23/2012 5:04PM

  sometimes just a cough drop can sabotage a month of self control.

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    Not to be a Pollyanna or anything, but your weight loss graph hasa decided downhill slant! Congrats on what you have lost so far. My graph seems to be trying to het to heaven. emoticon

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WUAKOS 4/2/2012 8:54AM

  Great attitude... And it seems that your husband with out doing it on purpose is sabotaging your hard work by bringing all that home. But unfortunately the world is full of bad unhealthy deliciously tasting food and we have to learn to resisted mos times and know when to indulge and that's not every day.
Keep the good attitude you can conquer anything.

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BLONDEMUSE1970 3/29/2012 12:27PM


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KITTYKRS 3/26/2012 7:40PM

  I can so relate with you!! You are so right...It ISN'T fair. emoticon

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CHERRY666 3/26/2012 11:30AM

    "I'm sorry, but I'm worth more than $1.99 of chocolate covered peanuts. "

I really liked this blog -- I can relate all too well -- but I especially liked what you wrote here. We're ALL worth more than a two-buck package of cheap chocolate.

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TOFUCUTIEPIE 3/26/2012 10:50AM

    Great blog! I could've written that myself.

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LADYGSC 3/25/2012 11:23PM


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DIBANANA 3/24/2012 11:44PM

  I am sorry but I smiled reading your blog. I've so been there. I get whiplash sometimes! You have pulled yourself up and you are ready to go again.

The one time I can remember doing well was when I forgave myself and got back on track asap. Do it and you'll be fine.

Life gets in the way sometimes. Now take it back

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AMBERLEIGHM1 3/24/2012 9:54PM

    I'm glad you are focused on where you want to be and realize you are worth it. I've struggled lately with being at my lowest weight since the 90s so I can empathize with you. I will pray you are successful and that you feel beautiful at your sister's wedding.

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BSEANACAIN 3/24/2012 1:08AM


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ARTJAC 3/23/2012 9:33PM


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PANIK257 3/23/2012 8:34PM

    This is all normal! You are doing great. Don`t focus on the small blips. Focus on the bigger picture.

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AUNTIEA1959 3/23/2012 5:07PM


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SUPERSYLPH 3/23/2012 1:08PM

    Actually your graph doesn't look like a roller coaster ride at all! Overall, you've lost a good amount of weight! Sure, there are small bumps, but if you look at the bigger picture, there's a huge decline line! Way to go! Don't beat yourself up! You're doing great!

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BEMOORE68 3/23/2012 12:55PM

  Way to set your mind! When you are fed up with the way things are or have been, it feels good to get that righteous indignation. Stay strong and focused!

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IGSBETH 3/23/2012 12:36PM

    You can do it!

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RDGISME 3/23/2012 10:42AM

    I'm on that ride with you! I just keep thinkng that stopping this ride I want to get off sounds great! Thank you for reminding me that I can change up my usual behavior: you are doing very well! emoticon

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CPATRICK9 3/22/2012 8:44PM

    I'm sure you can get back on track toward your goal. Keep up the good work. emoticon

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MARTINT011 3/22/2012 8:44PM

  thanks for the excellent, example of a roller coaster!

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PEANUT883 3/22/2012 8:37PM

  I like that- you are worth more than $1.99 chocolates. You're darn-tootin' you are!

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MARTHAWILL 3/22/2012 8:16PM

    Good for you for taking ownership of the reasons the numbers on the scale were not in your favour. Like many of us, I've been on a roller coaster ride, currently heading downwards again but have always acknowledged and admitted the reasons the ride started going up again. Admitting it and facing it head on (especially-gulp-publicly) is the best way to prevent the spiralling back to where we started from. Good for you. You go!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLUDERCATS 3/22/2012 7:58PM

    I believe in you...you will take off the weight that you put on plus some!


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MAPLECANDY3 3/22/2012 6:48PM


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GAUNTTRUE1 3/22/2012 6:31PM

  Most journeys are long and hard. WE will have our ups and downs. THat is what life is all about. I enjoyed reading your blog. Stay focus on your goal, keep striving, it is within your reach.


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JIBBIE49 3/22/2012 4:34PM

    emoticonGreat to see you featured in the Spark Mail with THE BLOG. What an honor. emoticon

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MYRAL85 3/22/2012 3:28PM


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SANDYLH1 3/22/2012 2:12PM


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OWENZZOO 3/22/2012 12:47PM

    That is a fantastic blog. Thank you for sharing.

I hope your week is going great!

Anna. emoticon

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BMCKEOW1 3/22/2012 12:00PM

    You can do this. Don't let one week beat you. You are better then that, just like your better then the $1.99 peanut clusters. You have been working so hard and keep up the good work. You had a couple stumbles now get back up and get back on track cause your worth it.

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FLPALM 3/22/2012 11:18AM

    Very good outlook! WTG!

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FLCUPCAKE 3/22/2012 11:17AM

  You have inspired me to get off of my rollercoaster as well!

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IAMAGEMLOVER 3/22/2012 11:00AM

    You go girl. I like your spirit. I am looking forward to a follow up of this blog to read about the progress. emoticon

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SCDALYNCH 3/22/2012 10:56AM

    Thanks for your story. How much that is like my life. You have done well even with the spikes in the graph. Sometimes we have to look at the beginning and end result. No path is easy or fast.

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GIBBY551 3/22/2012 10:40AM

  Your story could be my story. It is so easy to concentrate on the short term. But, when I look at your graph you have done very well! Be proud of what you have accomplished and keep going! YOU CAN DO THIS! emoticon

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DEBBIE-WEBBIE 3/22/2012 10:39AM

    aaaaaaa like the post.

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JOYFULJUDYLYNN 3/22/2012 10:32AM


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BLAUTO63 3/22/2012 10:25AM

  I love your can do attitude and the fact you own your mistakes. Well said and you can do this...I too continue that rollercoaster ride and am sick of it and know only (I)can change it but always much easier said then done.

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 3/22/2012 10:22AM

    You GO girl! I'm so glad my hubby is not a shopper, he never brings home goodies, Thank God. I would have a devil of a time resisting chocolate peanut clusters. God, I remember their sweet chocolate saltiness like it was yesterday.

It's frustrating when we sabotage ourselves and ruin weeks of good hard work. WIth that goal of your sister's wedding in May, I know you will get back on track and be at your goal weight by then, because doggone it, WE DO LIKE YOU!

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VOLLEYGIRL77 3/22/2012 10:05AM

    You can do it! You have the knowledge and the power to regain strength!

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STARLIGHT615 3/22/2012 9:51AM

    Yes you can totaly do it!! No matter if u have a bad day or bad week just get back on the wagon and push!! XOOX

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CHANGINGSAM 3/22/2012 9:12AM


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-ICANDOIT- 3/22/2012 8:39AM

    I love your sttitude! The power is in you...and I know you know how to turn it on!!!

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SOCIALWALKER 3/22/2012 8:34AM

  You are worth the effort it takes! Keep up the good work...your graph might have spikes in it, but overall you've come a long way. And remember, you are so much more than a number on a scale- the scale has NO power to define who you are. emoticon

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SUPERMOUSE35 3/22/2012 8:09AM


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TOASTIE 3/22/2012 8:04AM

    When I look at your weight loss graph, I see how very very far you have come! And now you have reminded yourself of good goals for the future! You can do this!

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Cleaning House

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

I’m talking about cleaning out the clutter in our lives, and I don’t mean paperwork, or house chores or cleaning. Well, maybe I do.

I’ve had day long meetings all week that I am the organizer for – the behind the scenes lady. I have to make sure the people have coffee, breakfast, snacks, lunch, water, more water, and refresh it all.

This morning one of the guys tried making coffee himself before I got in and he made a mess of it. The coffee overflowed into the drawer beneath it, into the cabinet below that, underneath the water cooler, under the coffeemaker, under the microwave, in all the cracks and crevices it could find.

As I was cleaning up the mess he stopped in to say he was sorry again, I told him no problem, it had happened before and he wasn’t the first. He said “I tried to clean up the best I could, this may actually be a good thing, there was tons of junk in the drawer and food particles, etc., that hadn’t been cleaned.”

I agreed.

And then it hit me.

That mess, that junk, while annoying and took time out of my day to clean, was ESSENTIAL. Without the mess I wouldn't have had to clean up. Without having to clean up I wouldn't be looking under every little thing to be sure the coffee wouldn't stain the drawer or counter. The mess made me lift up things I wouldn't have before. Made me take a closer look and examine.

When bad things happen to us, and we need to clean up our messes, that is shaping us.

Everything shapes us.

When we have to clean up a mess we discover all the things that need changing. That dust in the corner, the old socks under the bed. Metaphorically there are things inside us that need to change too.

I recently got into a fight with a family member and it was a bad one. I usually avoid conflict like the plague, but this time I tried to do something different – I called her out on something and I acted in anger. I was hoping to prevent the emotions building inside of me and becoming a bigger mess, but I can tell you that this new method didn’t work either. It didn't produce a good reaction, or resolution. (Next time, calm down first, and then address the situation). We got into a big fight and before I knew it I was yelling. Very unlike me. But it made me realize that I don’t handle conflict well and that that needs to CHANGE. Yes, I have every right to speak up, but not the way I did. Next time I need to handle conflict in my life I know I will do a better job. Life is all a dress rehearsal, didn't Shakespeare say that? The world is the stage. I am practicing with every action I make.

Same with this weight loss journey. If we go to a dinner party, or out to lunch and make bad choices, well those choices shape us too. When we see the outcome reflected on the scale, we CHANGE.

We all have frenemies. I’ve encountered some that make me feel bad that I am not up to their level of fitness, or always try to show me how great they are. And I’m happy for these people. But I will not let their comments meant to lift them up and me down shadow anything I am doing. Like the dust mites in the corner, some of these people I am going to have in my life less (or ignore them). I don’t need the comments/jabs meant to make someone else feel better, and for me to feel less. I am not a person who compares me to anyone. So when a friend compares her journey to mine, or another how far she can run vs. me, or perhaps someone saying how much faster they are. All of that just doesn’t matter. Plain and simple. We are each on our own journeys and we can lift each other up and be cheerleaders for each other, or we can try to bring someone down in order to lift ourselves higher. I choose to be a cheerleader. I always did want to wear that cute skirt and pigtails.

We all have drama. We have those friends, family members or kids who just loooove the drama. I have a sign in my daughter’s room that says “Save the Drama for your Mama”. I thought it was funny when I purchased it as she was growing inside of me. Now as she is living into that I question…hmmm.why did I buy this? And why SHOULD drama be saved for the mama? I know why. Because mamas are STRONG and they GROW as a result of the drama. We get more patient and learn to handle more of it.

We all could use more money. I don’t know anyone who is 100% comfortable with their financial situation and can just do whatever they please. Even the ones who have it all, all the money they need, they want more. We all strive for MORE. We want it all, don’t we? I challenge you to be comfortable where you are at, with what you have. (Note: Take my own advice). I think a natural result will be that we lead simpler lives. And there’s not that stress of where is the money coming from.

Patsy Clairmont, from Women of Faith, recently said something similar to this concept. Instead of calling it “De-Cluttering”, or “Cleaning”, she simply calls it Pruning.

Patsy tells a story about how several years ago; her husband bought one of those huge riding lawn mowers. He was so excited about his new “toy”. When he got ready to mow the lawn, he was so excited that he shifted into high gear and ended up going through her beloved flower garden.

Her garden being ruined wasn’t what her husband intended, obviously, not the best case scenario. After her husband lifted the mower off the flowers she describes what the aftermath looked like: “my hydrangea bush looked like a handful of pickup sticks, my roses were potpourri, and my butterfly bush was not fit for a gnat.”

She went on to say that despite the damage done to her garden that the following year those same bushes came back “with gusto”. They had gorgeous blossoms. And the following year they were even better. Then she says that: “It’s really a reminder that what others do accidentally or spitefully can be used to cause us to flourish. “

While none of us want the conflict, the strife, this hard job of losing weight, family issues, financial troubles, all of these things SHAPE us. They help us to become better people. Become who we are. Discover our purpose.

As Patsy says, we were BORN to GROW. And for those fellow Christians, as we grow we become more like Christ in His own image, he is inside of us all.

And each obstacle that comes our way is just an opportunity for GROWTH.
My challenge to you is to look at your life and at those things that you would rather change. Can you see how they perhaps are a blessing in disguise? Does looking at them this way help you to embrace them more fully?

So take out those dust rags, sponges and mops. Clean out under your bed, in the corners of your soul. And you might just be surprised at what you see.

Artwork by Kelly Rae Roberts "Everything Shapes Us"
(which I have on my office wall)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLIMBERS_ROCK 6/12/2013 9:24AM


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JOANNHUNT 1/16/2013 9:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ASPENHUGGER 4/14/2012 3:15PM

    I've been living this scenario lately. Lots of anger & resentment & painful moments, but also lots of hope because the pruning is clearing away the undergrowth and allowing the sunlight into more areas of my life.

Thank you!

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JOANNS4 4/8/2012 8:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHANGE4THEBEST 4/7/2012 7:24AM


So true! Loved the art work!

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RACHEL-SPARKS 3/30/2012 10:11AM

    Thank you. I have been thinking that a big part of my weight problems is the way I handle conflict. This made my day.

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GEORGIAGIRL26 3/24/2012 8:16PM

    What a great blog. Thanks for sharing sister!
Hope that you have a great week! Holly emoticon

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KLONG8 3/21/2012 5:02PM

    I need to prune today. Thanks!

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SIMPLY-EVA 3/21/2012 11:20AM

  Loved the story! Your so right about the need to clean out the cobwebs.


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TERESANAVARRO 3/19/2012 4:03PM

    Awesome blog. Thanks emoticon

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PHOEBESMIMI 3/16/2012 6:30AM

  Thank You I will start this morning

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ARTJAC 3/13/2012 10:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DZINE4KING 3/13/2012 12:48PM

    Awesome blog...just exactly what I needed! Thank you so much for sharing.

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TRYINGHARD1948 3/12/2012 11:49PM

    A wonderful lesson in your blog. Thank you.

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HRISAAC42 3/12/2012 11:15PM

    I loved, loved, loved the pruning analogy. I am going to start pruning away at the things that are holding me back so I can flourish. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They really hit home for me. emoticon

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TOOBIGTOFAIL07 3/12/2012 9:10PM

    Great analogy. Just what I needed to read. Thanks

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COLT2008 3/12/2012 7:57PM


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CDANDERS05 3/12/2012 6:17PM


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SNOWMAIDEN 3/12/2012 5:05PM

    Really thought provoking - thank you.

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NATURALSTYLE 3/12/2012 1:14PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HUGS2015 3/12/2012 9:08AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HEARTS116 3/12/2012 8:41AM

    Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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MILLIESMOM1 3/12/2012 8:02AM

    I so needed to find your blog this morning. Thank you so much for your insight. emoticon for sharing.

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JIVANA108 3/11/2012 8:20PM

    great blog ....needing a deeper spring cleaning in my life and since I'm on a vacation from work...what a better time:)

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IWASLOLA 3/11/2012 6:53PM

  Really good food for thought. Thanks emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 3/11/2012 6:28PM

    What an excellent blog! Especially timely for me as I faced a significant gain (11 lbs in 6 weeks - ouch) this morning. I see the pounds as the price I pay for the lessons I've had to learn (or re-learn, as the case may be). Thanks for the insights.

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    Wise Words! Gonna take them to heart and do some cleaning out in my own life!

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WIDARLING 3/11/2012 4:30PM

    Thanks for sharing. God bless. emoticon

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    Frenemies. That's a great word. I've got one in my life. Have to think of other ways to react ... Thanks.

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DIRTYBUNNY 3/11/2012 12:00PM

    "And you might just be surprised at what you see."
And you might find that you don't need to hang onto some things anymore.
And you might find some things that delight you because you didn't know you still had them.
And you might be able to take a moment and remember the way things used to be--whether good or bad--and then put those things and memories in their proper place.

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BUFFALOGAL1952 3/11/2012 11:39AM

    Wonderful way of stating what should be obvious to us, but that which we generally would like to sweep under a carpet. Better to face it and attack it head on. Great Blog!!!!

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HEALTHYOTTER 3/11/2012 10:06AM

    Great perspectives,thanks. I needed to hear it.

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THEIS58 3/11/2012 9:22AM

    Just great.

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DUSTYPRAIRIE 3/11/2012 6:25AM

    You've hit it on the head. I'm doing a prune (I like that word better than purge) this week in a couple of areas.

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SUSANK16 3/11/2012 6:24AM

  very nicely written

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ANHELIC 3/10/2012 7:00PM

    Great ideas. I'm going to follow some of them.

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RELISA4HEALTH 3/10/2012 6:25PM

    Awesome post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this area.
Your blog reminded me of how life is like the rooms of a house . I know that God is dealing with me with some of those rooms.
Have a blessed year as you walk out your personal goals for health and fitness.

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TIFFY0906 3/10/2012 6:03PM

    Great blog - emoticon

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REDBIRDFLY 3/10/2012 4:18PM

    I find it easier to keep a uncluttered house and a uncluttered mind. Both easier to clean up when a mess gets in there. emoticon

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THEIS58 3/10/2012 12:56PM


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ONTHEPATH2 3/10/2012 12:51PM

    Working on spring cleaning - lots of clutter to sort through. Thanks for the great blog!

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LOWFATFOODIE 3/10/2012 12:22PM

    great post in so many ways. I identified right away with the cleaning up a huge mess. My STBX made a huge mess of my life, but I am so grateful that without that I would have not noticed all the things I had let 'get dusty' and messes that were just left to sit there. Cleaning up the big mess let me clear the cobwebs, dust off my soul, and get rid of those old holey ideas that were building up in my life.
Sometimes it takes a epic disaster to show up what we're made of and to clear our world of unneeded baggage.

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SBNORMAL 3/10/2012 7:23AM

  I am trying to unearth my soul.

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KIPPER15 3/10/2012 6:51AM

    Great blog and super quotes. I am inspired to clean up and shape up some other areas of my life. emoticon

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RINA2002 3/10/2012 5:08AM

  That's the great thing about clutter - once you start tackling it in one area of your life, you find other places where it needs to be cleaned up as well.

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KATEM200 3/10/2012 12:21AM

  Interesting thoughts. I've been trying to clean up my life lately too.

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CM_GARDNER78 3/9/2012 10:23PM

    emoticon This is fabulous,,,and timely! Thank you for sharing!!!

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BROOKLYNROSE 3/9/2012 10:05PM

    great blog. Thanks so much!

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KEEPITSIMPLE_ 3/9/2012 8:39PM

    Great blog! You are exactly right on so many things and one thing I've finally gotten comfortable with in My OWN journey, is regarding the pressure from others regarding exercise, mainly on this site. I'm doing what is right for me, in my "balanced healthy lifestyle". I've been maintaining for 2 years now on this schedule, but I used to feel so inadequate that I don't, nor do I want to exercise 1-2 hours a day. Or run miles, or run at all. I love my exercise, on my time, for however long I see fit. But it seems like the pressure is on to do hours of exercise. I've joined and left many teams because of this pressure. I am happy with who I am, who I have become, how my body has changed, how healthy I feel spiritually, physically, and mentally, and most importantly, I am happy and content with my quiet, peaceful, and simple life. I wouldn't trade it for the world! And everyday, as I see others around me scurrying around to pack in all they can each day just to come in on Monday and compare how much each has accomplished, I appreciate my life even more. Thank for your blog. I truly do pray for simplicity for others in their lives! Thanks for the wonderful blog.

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KATHIERAE 3/9/2012 8:06PM

    Wow. I so need to spend some time "spring cleaning" and "pruning" in my life... I hate how life spins along and I don't take time for introspection anymore! Thanks for the awesome fantastic reminder!

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My Binge On the Page

Sunday, March 04, 2012

I am in the middle of a binge right now. Instead of continuing to eat, I am going to journal my thoughts publicly, unedited, in the hopes that it may make this uncontrollable feeling of wanting to shove everything in my mouth and take it away.

That it may help some of you who read it and may be in the same place yourself.

This is not a pity party. This is my binge, in haphazardly constructed sentences that may or may not come together.

I already feel sick from the handfuls of trail mix, pecans, roasted plantain chips and sushi I've shoved in my mouth. Each on their own? Not unhealthy. Eaten at the rate of taking a couple of shots of vodka? A recipe for disaster. For guilt. For remorse. And for a tummy ache.

I think it started earlier today while in church. See I have a week-long series of very important meetings at work that I need to pull together somehow although half of the attendees haven't given me the necessarily presentations and paperwork to do just that. I wasn't going to go to church, I was going to work through it. But I felt that tugging to go. I wanted to go. And my husband has been going with me and that is so special to me. So I went, fully knowing that I had a busy day ahead, but that I could get my work done later, after the day-long baby shower that would follow church. At church I usually avoid the baked goods, but today I took a small homemade blueberry scone and nibbled at it, knowing I wasn't hungry, but it helped ease my anxiousness.

Then at the baby shower I was next to a group of very loud women who were very opinionated about everything, including my kids, who were hiding under tables, running around, being, well, typical 2 and 5 yr. olds. I was embarrassed, I kept running after them, but it was difficult. I usually wouldn't even eat a piece of cake. Well, not only did I eat mine, but I ate my 2 yr. olds too, and every time I passed by the sweets table I grabbed something. I also frequented the champagne punch too many times. I ended up leaving early with the girls.

Once home they are screaming, running amok, I'm trying to make dinner and they are just DONE listening to me (Note to self - never bring them to a 5 hr. long baby shower ever again in this life). My husband was at a meeting and so I was on my own. This is when I grabbed handfuls of WHATEVER just to help me...what? Feel better? Feel sick? Was that going to help things? No.

Would it make me forget that I feel insufficient at times, like a bad parent at times, like a not good enough wife, like I'm still that larger person who weighed 300 lbs., that I'm fearful of my job, of my future, of my life, of the impact I will make? No.

So here I am, and after my husband has returned home with McDonalds, a rarity in our household, but he had gotten my franctic text about dinner possibly not being ready when he got home, and after I downed half the filet o fish and some fries and chicken nuggets, I read the following Spark article about how to stop a binge, and it made me remember my own tools that I used at the beginning of this journey. I haven't had a binge in a very long time, so I had almost forgotten. There was once a time when I had to use these tools every single day to get by. But along the way it became easy for me, and I felt those emotions and didn't eat through them. But today, today the old lie of food being my friend got me. Old familiar habits do die hard.

I remembered what helped me most was journaling about my feelings, prayer and reading the bible. Also water. Lots of water.

So that is what I am going to do. And I realize that I should be more in the Word than I am. I need to seek Him every day or else, like today, I will be chasing after Him and I may have lost that relationship I once had with Him. Will I ever be perfect? No, far from it. That isn't even a goal of mine. But the next time this binge monster rears its head, the next time I feel an emotion I'm uncomfortable with, like telling the loud-mouthed ladies at my table to kindly shut their mouths, I want to face it head on, and not quiet myself with too much food, which also muddles my heart and spirit.

And tomorrow is not only a new day, but this moment is new. Right NOW.

Below is a link to the article for those it may help.

Thanks for listening.


EDIT: After posting this my Spark friend Leona left a supportive comment and when I went to her Spark page to thank her I saw this poem called "Don't Quit". I just had to share it.


When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,

And you feel like the biggest failure in town.

When you want to give up just because you gave in,

and forget all about being healthy and thin.

So What! You went over your points a bit,

It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!

It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.

It's learning the skills to get back in your range.

It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.

You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."

It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.

You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.

To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,

if you summon the will to get back in the race.

But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip,

Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.

And learn too late when the damage is done,

that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.

Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,

but facing each challenge will help you grow.

Success is failure turned inside out,

the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.

When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit,

If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!

- Author Unknown

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECCABOO127 3/20/2012 5:30PM

    Yes, I was in the same boat the other day. I knew I shouldn't have brought in my favorite Asian cracker mix, but I did. The first few days, I only ate the alloted amount. The third day, I finished the bag! I don't binge as much as I used to either. The funny thing is that I call it my binge monster too.

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N_STITCHES 3/20/2012 11:49AM

  Thank you. I needed this blog this week......Patti

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    I'm so sorry sweeting. You are so amazing!

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MSPOOH404 3/8/2012 9:40AM

    Wow...Thank you. Upset, anxiety, anger, guilt...been there. I had a bit of a mini-binge on Sunday, but I was able to cut it off before it got the best of me. This emotional eating is a monster!

I realized this time around that I would not be able to succeed in my weight loss journey if I kept treating it as if it were separate from my spiritual life. I mean, it is through Christ that I can do ALL things...and this is no exception.

Thank you so much for sharing your struggle. I think you wrote what most of us feel. And I'm going to have to borrow that poem...it also speaks VOLUMES about this journey!


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ANDREA963 3/6/2012 4:33PM

    You look great! I've been in and out the past 9 months and lost a little footing, but I'm back. Boy I have to tell you, you look great! I can see all the progress you have made since the Hot Chocolate in 2010! Way to stop the binge. You're a great writer.

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AMARILYNH 3/6/2012 4:16PM

    Awesome blog!! Definitely sharing this one with my BLC team!!

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UNICORN212 3/5/2012 11:05PM

    I had to borrow the poem...

And personally, I think a 5 hour baby shower would drive anyone to outright insanity!

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OLANDAVE777 3/5/2012 10:06PM

    I have felt like this so, so many times. Thanks for the amazing blog! I love the poem!!

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LINDAKAY228 3/5/2012 3:51PM

    I can definitely relate to what a binge feels like. THe other day I did the same thing. Only I didn't stop it like you did to journal. Those insecure feelings rise up inside of me, or pain when dealing with a family situation, and my response is to eat. I haven't gotten it fully under control yet but a lot of thoughts go through my head recently about this topic, though not always in the middle of a binge. I need to write some of those thoughts down. I know I had a good one yesterday and intended to remember it but I was busy at the time and didn't and now for the life of me I can't remember what I thought was such a great thought yesterday. I also need to journal more about those feelings.

Wow, a 5 hour baby shower! Definitely longer than I could have handled with or without kids LOL. Definitely not with a 2 year old and a 5 year old. You did awesome that you managed to make it through that much time at an event like that without choking them LOL. Not that I'm saying they are bad kids because they aren't. But that's a long time for kids that age to sit still and be what those other ladies thought should be good kids. They were just being natural and trying to work off their boredom and energy. Having had 5 kids and 10 grandkids I know well what they can be like just because they are normal kids.

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KITHKINCAID 3/5/2012 2:48PM

    Good job girl. Hey - at least you got it all out and wrote it all down. And remember - you can ALWAYS text me too in the heat of the moment! I'm here for you!

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PRETTYPITHY 3/5/2012 1:15PM

    Thank you. 99% of my binges begin with anxiety and it looks and sounds and feels a whole lot like this. Thank you for reminding me how to pull myself out and that I am not alone (neither are you!). emoticon

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BLOSSOM2344 3/5/2012 12:56PM

    Bingeing is so personal, such an intimate experience and I don't think we talk about it nearly enough. The specifics of your situation are different from mine, but the feelings -illness, shame, anxiety, lack of control - that's universal to all of us who've been there. Thank you so much for talking about it!

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MANLEYSANDY 3/5/2012 12:54PM

    Kathy, you are in my prayers!! emoticon

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STARLIGHT615 3/5/2012 12:44PM

    I have definietly been having days like that recently too!! and I just have to keep telling myself.. You can still get back in the race! You dont have to go back to the bad self u once were.. just because u have a bad day or few bad days.. Today is a new bright day!! Just keep pushing forward. This Blog hit home big time!! thanks sweetie, it helps me a bunch !! XOX I love the poem by the way.

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IGSBETH 3/5/2012 12:37PM


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OFFDREA 3/5/2012 12:35PM

    It takes a lot of courage to share this with everyone, even in this environment. Im proud of you for recognizing what you are doing and making a concious effort to arm yourself for the future. Thats all we can do. These are years of habit we are working on breaking, it does not come easy.

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KISHYMARIE 3/5/2012 11:59AM

    This was a wonderful blog, and at a perfect time, too. I did this yesterday too... it was my son's birthday party, and I had cake; which I had planned on. What I did not plan on was the impromptu after-party with friends which included grilling steaks, wine and the giant bowl of ice cream before bed. Sometimes it's so hard to stop once you feel like you've already crossed that line. I don't know why. But your honesty is encouragement for all of us who have that one day of falling into a bowl of ice cream... :) It's ok. We're human. Today is a brand new day and I'm already back on track.

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LIVIN2LOVE1 3/5/2012 11:02AM

    I also struggled with binge eating yesterday. It's heartbreaking when you find yourself in the middle of it all. Thanks for sharing the poem. I love it.

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AMBER281 3/5/2012 10:57AM

    Thanks for sharing!!! Another reminder that its a life long process.
I think you are doing wonderful!

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POSITIVE-FORCE 3/5/2012 10:36AM

    Thanks for sharing this Kathy! You are a wonderful person and I'm glad you got out it out. Just remember it happens to everyone and you already have moved forward!

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SDM0618 3/5/2012 10:31AM

    thank you so much for sharing this with us! I could feel myself though your words and needed to know I'm not alone in this and for the reminder that no matter how bad things get I should stay strong and never EVER quit! emoticon

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KROLES55 3/5/2012 9:20AM

    Thanks for sharing emoticon

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YOUGOGIRL45 3/5/2012 9:10AM

    I've got Goosebumps because that hit so close to home. Thank you for sharing - it made a difference to me. emoticon

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JENJESS48 3/5/2012 9:08AM

    Oh honey, we all have those days that push us to the brink. And yeah, sometimes we binge. Goodness knows I've done it. But you stopped in the middle, which requires a TON of self-awareness and self-control. And for that you win!

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ZURDTA- 3/5/2012 7:39AM


So sorry that your work is stressful and those people were being judgemental. I guess life is like that at times. You just rejoice in the fact that your children are bundles of energy and life - 5 hours of baby shower! They were being creative and funloving - just how children should be - did they expect those darlings to just sit there and DO nothing?

I'm glad you pulled back from the binge. It's hard not to let other people influence your emotions - but it happens. You found inner strength and shared it with us.

Thank you.

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    Thank you for sharing. I wish I would have read this last night when I was binging. Thanks again.

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KARVY09 3/5/2012 5:26AM

    Big hugs. New day today.

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WOLFKITTY 3/5/2012 12:38AM


Thanks for sharing the article link. I've been dealing with that lately, and it was a great read. I haven't seen it in years (if ever).

Take care, my friend!

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NED333 3/4/2012 11:48PM

    Thank you for being brave. Your honesty reminds me that I'm not alone...
Keep on!!

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    emoticonLose Your Quit - I know you can do it!

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SASYBLONDE 3/4/2012 9:12PM

    that is an amazing poem! I do think I'm gonna have to steal that and make copies for my fridge and pantry! The past 2 weeks have been a slow binge for me, so I know the guilty feelings all to well! Just hang in there and keep at it! The poem is all too true! Thank you for sharing!!

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UNICORN212 3/4/2012 8:26PM

    Hang on and don't let go!
emoticon emoticon

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THEADMIRAL 3/4/2012 8:00PM

    Atta Girl! I'm so proud of you! What was then, is not now. Keep taking those baby steps. You're doing GREAT. emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 3/4/2012 7:43PM

    Proud of you for taking control back and not sliding into a bad place. Journaling is a wonderful outlet. HUGS! emoticon

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NICETOCYOU 3/4/2012 7:43PM

    That's a great article! Thanks for sharing. Now step back and refocus on the new moment :o) You're amazing!

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TRAVELGRRL 3/4/2012 7:40PM

    I feel your pain and I identify with your emotions.

I can't say anything to make you feel better, so I'll say that I think you are VERY brave for writing this blog because there isn't a SINGLE PERSON ON SPARK who hasn't felt your feelings or reacted to them in the very same way.

I have these issues and are off now to read the link you posted. Thank you for being you, and for facing up to your binge and exposing it to the light of day.

The great thing about life is we always have another chance to get it right. emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 3/4/2012 7:26PM

    Hugs! So proud of you. I can't imagine my kids being good through a baby shower that long.

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