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A little frustration

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I had my first weigh-in today since starting back, and of course had weighed myself throughout the week. My weight fluctuated so much that I feel like I'm back where I started. I was 169 early last week - OK, only 2 lb. gained since my last weigh-in, I can handle that and probably deserve it. Then later in the week I was 175, a full 6 lb. gained! Then at my weigh-in today I was 172. Which is 3 down from the 175, but still up 3 from 169.

I am putting this in my blog because this is what always happens to me, and my reason for usually quitting even trying. And I'm just at the beginning. So I want to document this frustration and my thoughts about it to look back on, and hopefully push through this.

I am on a path, and the path is never just a straight one. Paths curve, there are rocks in the road, obstacles to overcome. If I quit now, it's like coming to the turn in the path and just going back the other way. I need to keep going and not focus on the number on the scale. I only just started back, I need to stop making everything black and white and realize that this weight did not go on overnight, and it will not come off that way. I need to be realistic with myself.

I can do this, and I WILL do this!!

~ Kathy

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATOGA17 9/18/2008 7:40PM


I think that writing about this is a great idea. If you continue on, this will work and you will have this record to look back on as you go along. Hang in there.


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ANNAGM1 9/18/2008 8:06AM

    I fluctuate between 3 and 5 pounds per day! Mostly attributed to waterweight. I can feel it in my fingers. My rings won't fit and my watch gets tight.

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ERUPERTO 9/17/2008 2:17PM

    This happens to so many of us!

That's why I stopped weighing in more than once a week. It changes all the time and I never knew what was right and what was wrong.

I know you can do this! YOU WILL DO THIS!!!


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FREETOBEME12 9/17/2008 2:07PM

  I feel your pain. I'm up and down quite a bit myself. I swear I hate making that scale control how I feel about myself. I only weigh twice a month because of my own insanity around the scale. Progress not perfection. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. When I was younger the weigh just flew off now it is very stubborn.

Sending you some postive vibes. emoticon

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I am back

Sunday, September 07, 2008

"Take the First Step, No More, No Less, and the Rest will be Revealed."

I am surrendering myself to this process, and recommitting to my health. I feel like I am treading water, just doing enough to keep my head above the water and not actually making any progress toward the shore. I'll float for awhile, and sure the sunset looks nice. then I'll start to go under, so I doggy paddle and forget about my goal - which is to get to shore.

I do this with other areas of my life as well - I'll start a writing project (2 novels now, both shelved in the first draft stage but full of promise), just to let it go to the wayside. These are important things to me! But I go back to my lazy habits. With my family and friends, I realize that I need to put in more time, but then again, go back to being a workaholic and not spending time where I should.

My life at present is not balanced. I want, and need, more balance and more time taking care of myself so that I can take care of my life, my family, and me.

I know that I can't do this alone. As God said, "I am the vine..." and all good things come from Him. I need to release my need for perfection and realize that starting is a big step. It doesn't have to be perfect, I just need to be headed in the right direction.

~ Kathy


What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I signed up for the "Late Ride" in Chicago, which is basically a couple hundred of people driving down the lakefront at midnight to 6 a.m. for a 25 mile bike ride. My sisters all do this ride every year, and each year they ask me and I always refuse, saying "no way!" This year I wondered what my resistance is for. Maybe this is something I should do, a voice inside said. So I signed up for the ride.

Let me back up and start by saying that I am NOT a bike rider. I am not coordinated by any means. I am a klutz. Well since it's gotten nice out my husband has been riding with our daughter in the bike trailer. I am not comfortable on a bike, and so I wasn't able to participate. I can't tell you how much this upset me, and so I decided to get a bike. I knew I wanted something that was comfortable, easy to ride and "klutz-free".

Well I shopped around and decided on a Cruiser-type bike. If you're not familiar with these, it's like the Pee-Wee Herman bike - retro, you ride while sitting straight, etc. Piece of cake, right?

I found the best bargain at Wal-Mart, and when the bike arrived I was so excited to take it for a test spin with the family. We head out, and immediately I know something is wrong. The seat can't seem to hold my weight, the handlebars even seem to bend a little. The gears are all messed up, and I feel like I'm riding a tin can that is about to fall apart. It was horrible. So horrible that once safely back home I announced that the bike was going back. I then binged on some trigger foods and basically stuffed myself until I couldn't feel the pain of not being able to ride the bike with my daughter and husband.

The next morning I woke up and knew I needed to beat this. I was not going to let this bike get the best of me. So I went to a wonderful local bike shop, Koslow Cycle (if you're in the Lombard, IL area check them out), and the nicest woman helped me get fit for the right bike, and I took a few test rides and picked the perfect bike - a Giant Sedona (photo above). She was so encouraging and helpful and didn't make me feel at all awkward. She reassured me that yes, I would be able to ride with my family and even ride in the Late Ride.

Today I just got back from a 2.5 mile trip to the park with my family and I feel exhilarated. I know I have many miles left to go, but I have a month to gear up for the Late Ride, and I will take that journey slowly, with my daughter in tow, and mile by mile, pound by pound, step by step, I will make it.

So what have I gotten into?

A healthier life, a challenge, and an attainable goal.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONSTANCELG 6/18/2008 6:30PM

    YaYa you go girlie!!! I used to love riding, but after knee surgery it is off my list of safe things to do. I used to ride for miles and miles. There are hundreds of miles of bike trails here. My husband and I loved riding them. Now I just enjoy walking the trails and listening to the birdies. tweet tweet!

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BABYBIRD_77 5/27/2008 9:10PM

    Ya-Ya!!! Ilove it!!!!

I've been wanting to get a bike too, you may have inspired me to take that step!!!

Keep moving forward!!! You can do this, and I can not wait to hear how it went!!!

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GRANNYLOON 5/27/2008 10:36AM

    What a great success story!!! Sometimes it just takes some time to get the right fit on something and well worth that extra effort!! That is super and now you can make bicycling memories with your family to last forever!! Way to go, Kathy!!!!

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MAMAJO1958 5/25/2008 10:42AM

    Woohoo and congrats to you!!! You can do it!

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GAMMA47 5/25/2008 10:39AM

    Good Luck with your new adventure!! I know you will be able to accomplish it!!

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Shamrock Shuffle - 5K

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Today I walked a 5K (in Chicago called "The Shamrock Shuffle" around the lakefront).

Last year I barely made it. This year I could tell the difference in my health and walked much quicker. I was actually passing people up! I walked with my father who is a very fast walker and he told me later he had to work to keep up with me. He said he was proud of me, and I was proud of myself, too. Last year my time was 1 hr. 20 minutes to finish 5K (about 3 miles). This year I made it in 58 minutes, 58 seconds. 58:58!!! Over 20 minutes quicker. Other stats include:

Total steps: 10,584
Aerobic steps: 7,090 of those steps were aerobic
Calories burned: 521
Miles walked: 4.17 (total with walking from parking garage, race, etc.)

Since January I've been walking with Leslie Sansone at home, and I have lost almost 15 lb. I am only 3 lb. away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I feel exhilarated, excited and hopeful that I will regain my health. I love working out now and look forward to it.

I'm going to continue to make myself proud, and my family.

- Kathy

(I'm the one in the middle. On the left is my sister, who ran in the 8K portion and on the right is my dad).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABYBIRD_77 4/7/2008 3:11PM


I walked in the Shamrock Run this year too!!! I used to do it every year with people from work, left that job for two years, and then came back to the company last May. So I went again this year with everyone. Ours is 2.2 miles for the "Walk for fun" ----I jogged half of it!!, and then the 5 mile Run...I would love to do that, but it will be a while I think....lol We will see where I am at for the Turkey Run in November!!

I'm so proud of you though!!!! Way to go!!! Ya-Ya!!!!

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RAJAHKITTY 3/30/2008 11:45PM

    I am so amazingly proud of you! What a huge accomplishment! To cut 20 minutes off your time! And to maintain less than a 20 minutes mile walking is a big deal!

You are inspirational and I also think it is wonderful that you have a dad and sister who are there to support you as well! And just imagine what you'll be able to do next year!


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So Inspired!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The past week or so I had been a little depressed. I think the weather was getting to me - the cold, the snow, etc. Maybe I was going through Seasonal Depression. That and the onset of the flu that has infiltrated my family a few times now.

I recommitted to exercising, and also have started taking my vitamins and St. John's Wort, and the difference is like night and day. The past two days I have worked out in the morning, and it's like a blast of energy. I feel hopeful and have faith that I CAN do this and through God all things are possible.



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TURTLE_MOM 3/25/2008 8:25PM

    I hope you are still doing well! I get the seasonal depression too but now it's Spring and it's getting better :)

Happy Spring!

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RAJAHKITTY 3/9/2008 10:42PM

    congrats on your recommitment, Kathy! You've had a pretty stressful couple of weeks and sometimes it take a little bit to sit back and remember to prioritize. That is great that you are finding time to work out in the morning & get your extra energy in!

Here's to staying healthy all week this week!

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  Glad you are feeling better.


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