Monday, June 20, 2011
"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results." ~ Jack Dixon
My quote today is something that I need to remember, because I'm once again in that dreaded P word funk...the bulk of my weight loss has been full of pot holes I like to call plateaus. Especially since I hit 80 lbs. lost these have consumed my journey. They are so frustrating...and seem so unfair. I reached 80 lbs. down before the holidays, and gained a lot during the holidays, so now I've reached 90 lbs. down and I'm once again at a halt. It's actually quite maddening at times. So when I get depressed about it I turn to quotes to help keep my eyes on the prize.
If I keep focusing on the fact that I am not seeing results, that won't bring about change. If I change up things, try something new, try calorie cycling, trying to change on the inside (eat less on weekends for instance), then I will see results and I will have changed, so that once I reach goal I will maintain it easier because this is a lifestyle change and not a quick "fix".
Also all of you inspire me, too. Some of you say the nicest things to me and sometimes I write them down and look back on them. One of these recent quotes is from Holly, a fellow Chicago sparker that I got to meet briefly after the Shamrock Shuffle 8k. She said:
"...You are are so full of life! You are a beautiful strong woman and leave inspiration in your trail." - Hope (CHICAGOHEALTHY)
Now this really inspires me because it shows how much I've changed already. Two years ago I wasn't a person that reflected health, or life....I didn't inspire anyone. So for people to say such things when I'm feeling discouraged and like I can't win this fight...well it reminds me of why I am doing this and how far I've come.
I want to end with another quote that is very similar to me....I saw this on a card somewhere and had to scribble it down. I just love it.
Go down to the end of the path toward the horizon.
Sit down and have a rest every now and again.
But keep on going. Just keep on with it.
Keep on going as far as you can.
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GET THERE.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
My quote for the day is the chorus from the song "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz and Kate York.
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you, more beautiful you
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late, you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear, they can all be washed away
I think that I've always had a hard time believing that I was "normal", let alone beautiful. In my past I've been called many things, but beautiful wasn't one of them. I was always overweight, since switching schools in the third grade and using food as a means of comfort, as a friend. When I entered High School I decided I didn't want to be fat anymore. So I starved myself and the food I did eat I threw up. I was sick. But you know what? I became popular. People liked me. People called me beautiful.
So my idea of beauty is pretty warped, and I am still discovering who I am, both on the inside and out. Losing over 90 lbs. is a little scary for me. I'm seeing myself again in the mirror, without the added comforting layers of fat...and I want to remain who I am, be true to myself.
This song reminds me that God has a purpose for my life, and that in God's eyes we are all beautiful.
The entire song is very powerful, but the chorus especially hits me hard.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Our bonus challenge this week was to share a recipe swap out that we've done and one of mine that I love to do every month, during that time when I crave peanut butter and chocolate, is these Frozen Peanut Butter Cups (Spark recipe submitted by: JGAUSTIN)
They are amazing. The link to the recipe is at the bottom if you want to make them and add them to your tracker.
1/3 c peanut butter
1 1/2 c fat free whipped topping
3 tbsp chocolate syrup
Mix 1c whipped topping and peanut butter
Fold in additional whipped topping
Divide into 12 lined muffin cups
top with drop of chocolate syrup
Number of Servings: 10
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
MAIN CHALLENGE: For the main challenge this week, take some time for yourself! Do something special, just for you, that you've been thinking about but haven't followed through on. I know we all have so many responsibilities, but sometimes taking time for ourselves is the best way to ensure we can get through all of that without pulling our hair out!!
Yesterday, after a long day at work (don’t you love Mondays?) I got picked up by my husband as my brakes were being worked on. Our two girls were in the car (where else would they be haha) and something happens in my household around 5 PM. Like werewolves after midnight, my girls go CRAZY. (For some reason my dogs do, too, and have even before we had kids.) They all go gaga for me. They freak out, act up, and do anything and everything in their power to get my 100%, COMPLETE ATTENTION. This may sound flattering, but it truly is not. It’s like having raw meat strapped to your body and being in a field of rapid dogs.
Joking aside, it really drains a person. And being in a hot car, in traffic that doesn’t seem to move, for 48 minutes (yes I counted) is just brutal. Two time outs on the side of the road later and one meltdown, and we are finally back home.
I had plans to go walking with my oldest daughter…plans to even bring the little one along and walk to the library, get them signed up for the summer reading program, get a workout in, get some girl bonding time.
But after that car ride I walked in the door, took a look around, and announced that I was NOT taking either of them in public – anywhere – and I sent them outside to play while I made dinner and my hubby worked on the car.
I had plans, great big Mommy plans…the walk, the library, coming home and doing nice baths, a story or two. No plans for ME, but plans for them. And yes, I do like spending time with them, but last night was a different story.
A quick dinner later, a few more time outs and refereeing fights, and I was DONE. Up to bed and a few stories later and that was it. I looked around. It was barely past 7 p.m. I had all of this…TIME. I thought about all of the story drafts sitting on my office desk….I decided I would go to the library after all…just by myself.
I grabbed my writing bag, kissed hubby goodbye (and sort of felt like I was escaping, but pushing that feeling aside)...I even stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for my favorite French Vanilla coffee. Oh, this was going to be GOOD. The smell of the coffee in the car hit my senses and I was already daydreaming about the writing I would do. The writing I had missed for the past months….it is just so hard to make time for yourself when you work full time, am a Mom, a wife, the bill keeper, organizer, party and play date planner….where did I fit in with all of that? I’ve been great about making time for working out (usually before the girls are awake or after they are asleep). But where was my creativity going to bloom if I didn’t give it a place to grow?
I got to the library and first signed the kids up for the summer reading program, like a good Mommy, and THEN. THEN it was all about ME. I got a quiet cubicle away from the children’s library. I opened the lid of my coffee. And I WROTE. I wrote for about 45 minutes. It felt amazing.
And after I wrote I took a minute to read a chapter from one of my summer reading books, a guilty pleasure.
And I didn’t even bring my cell phone into the library. I left it in the car.
Things could wait. People could wait. Me? I’ve been waiting long enough. It was time for me.
I’ve decided that I’m going to write 5 days out of the week, and 8 or 9 p.m. seems to be a good time, after the girls are sleeping.
And I even got more miles in after I got home.
It was just amazing. I felt like my old self again, the self before I had kids….and I’m honoring the writer within me.
“Planning to write is not writing. Outlining, researching, talking to people about what you're doing, none of that is writing. Writing is writing.”
E. L. Doctorow
"Empowerment is what the emerging artist needs to win for herself. And the initial sense of urgency to create can easily be dissipated because it entails making the one choice many people, especially women, in our society with its emphasis on the 'acceptable' priorities, feel selfish about making: taking the time to create, stealing it from yourself if it's the only way."
-- "5:00 A.M.: Writing as Ritual" in The Latin Deli by Judith Ortiz Cofer, p. 168 (reprinted in Sleeping With One Eye Open)
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