Tuesday, January 01, 2008
I am excited for the New Year. I know that resolutions are so easy to make, and harder to follow through on. But this is my year. I won't have forever to count on to make these changes. The time is now, and I can't avoid it any longer. I won't call them "Resolutions", since that can be a big, scary word, and make the tasks seem like climbing a mountain. My small, easily attainable goals are:
I will workout at a minimum of 3x a week.
I will aim to eat at least 35g. of fiber to help with my health issues and to promote weight loss.
I will not overeat, I will remain abstinent from overeating.
I will spend less time on the couch and more time playing with my daughter.
I will remain a positive outlook, no matter what life throws my way.
I will drink 8-10 glasses of nice, cold water.
I will love myself, my body and my abilities.
I will be creative and express myself in other ways than eating, or blowing up at family members, and then hating myself.
I will live a purposeful life.
I will create an eating plan that suits my life and doesn't stress me out.
I will not strive for perfection, I will strive to do my best, and take things one day at a time.
I will stress less, and laugh more.
I will let things go instead of holding onto them.
I will write more letters and less email.
I will live, and remember that I am blessed to have my family, friends and health.
Happy New Year, everyone. 2008 has a nice ring to it.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
I have been feeling so healthy lately, it's awesome!!! I have been only eating my 3 meals a day with a snack inbetween, and trying to eat more fiber and my goal is to move every day.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I am working the 12 steps and am on Step 1. I am looking for a sponsor. I am proud to say I have 7 days of abstinence behind me, and with the grace of God, I will remain abstinent tonight, tomorrow, and the next day. But I am getting ahead of myself. Because it's one day at a time. That's the only way.
Working the steps is like stepping off of a cliff, and not knowing what, if anything, will hold you up, and you are almost certain that you will fall. But upon taking that first step, and the second, and so on, you discover that you are being not only held up, but you are being elevated. You are experiencing something that you have never known. You are experiencing recovery.
I am thankful for this day. For my family and for my eating disorder. I am thankful because without it, I wouldn't realize all that there is to live for, and to appreciate all that I have.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I went to my first face-to-face (f2f) OA meeting yesterday, 9/5. It was awesome, and had many attendees. I isolate myself so much that I hadn't attended a f2f meeting in over 8 years. I realized and shared with the group that I never had a stretch of abstinence that lasted over two days. I am going to change that. One day at a time, one step at a time. I have my first day of abstinence behind me, and today is a new day. I pray that God get me through this day abstinent.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning."
"One has to remember that every failure can be a stepping stone to something better."
"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again."
I weighed myself today and I'm back to where I was in January. 276 lb., and the (almost) ten pounds I had lost here at Sparkpeople gone. I am now still 20 lb. into my pregnancy weight, and after that I still have a good 50-80 to lose.
I think it is only fitting that I am right back where I started. The same exact number of 276. This is symbolic and instead of being upset and looking at this as a failure, I am looking at it as a second chance. A new beginning. We can always be born again, and better that I have this wake-up call now, at 32, than when I'm much older and have spent too much of my life in pain.
I am back on the road to recovery. Leaving as much baggage as I can behind. As I work through the 12 steps, I will shed more and more skin, like the layer of an onion.
I have faith that I will get through this, one step at a time, and will overcome my compulsion to overeat. Together with my OA friends, my Spark friends, and most of all, my family and faith in God - I can do this. We all can.
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