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How to Begin Again

Saturday, January 01, 2011



So here it is, 2011! Woo hoo!!! Or...not. I thought I would be in ONEderland or pretty darn close to it at this time of year, I thought I would ring in the new year a slimmer me, and a me that would soon reach her goal weight.

Well I AM slimmer. I WILL reach my goal weight this year. BUT. I have gained the dreaded 10 lbs. (ok, only 9, but it sure feels like 10) that the holidays can put on. And the thing that really irks me is this is all within the past week or so of being on vacation from work and of Christmas and New Years. I maintained through Thanksgiving.

I am not going to lie. I am depressed!

But I am thankful that this happened, in a way, as much as I hate it. It has shown me just how easy it is to get back to that place I used to be, to become that person I used to be, the girl who binged and purged and then binged again. The girl who was never full enough, and then was all too full. The girl that didn't like herself.

When I saw the scale hit 225.5, up from 216, I hated myself for a brief minute there. Hated my body. Hated that I have to do everything 100% right or I gain. Hated that I have to give 200% just to lose. I felt, for just a moment, that it was hopeless.

But I know that is not the case, I know I can come back from this. I know that all of those thoughts in my head were just lies and I am not going to let that negative force win this race!

So here is my list of things to do to get back on track, and to make me happy. Call them what you will, some say resolutions, some say to do lists, some call it simply a plan. I am calling it "How to Begin Again".

1. Drink a tall bottle of water.
2. Repeat.
3. Forgive yourself.
4. Remember that you are human.
5. See and recognize how far you have come.
6. Update Spark tracker to reflect current weight and don't look back.
7. Sign up for the 8K I will RUN this spring.
8. Go to the bookstore and purchase the new paperback edition of The Spark. Read the special guide.
9. Give away my hard cover copy to my brother-in-law who has climbed back up to his high weight.
10. MOVE. I will work out in some way, shape or form every day.
11. WRITE. I will write with a pen, pencil, crayon or keyboard every day.
12. Smile. At myself in the mirror, at strangers on the street, at my family.
13. Get stronger. Add more strength training into my routine.
14. RUN. Get back to the track, girl. That's where you shine and what makes your heart flutter.
15. Set goals that are high.
16. Start the way you will end.
17. Believe in yourself.
18. Don't be tempted to try quick fix solutions. You got here and you know how to get back.
19. Join Spark People's Boot Camp Challenge.
20. Just DO IT.


"You will fly and you will crawl. God knows, even angels fall" - Jessica Riddle

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRICKET217 1/3/2011 12:13AM

    Thanks for the honest blog. I too gained and had the same feelings running through my mind. You have encouraged me :)
Thank you.

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INSPIREBYNATURE 1/2/2011 11:10PM

    I love htis partner!! Just DO IT!!! And I'm adoring your new pic is AWEsoME!

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OFFDREA 1/2/2011 4:55PM

    Great blog!!! I am going to change my tracker right now to reflect the 8lbs I gained over the holidays. If we can't be true to ourselves.......


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EOSTAR_45 1/2/2011 4:48PM

    Here's to new beginnings!

Happy New Year. emoticon

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FREES1 1/2/2011 4:29PM

    you are a wise woman - gaining back 9 might be a bit of a set back but it isn't a sign to give it all up or to beat yourself up! we all slip and fall and, just as with riding a horse, you gotta like back up into the saddle and ride again!
more power to you!!!

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PCOH051610 1/2/2011 3:36PM

    Excellent blog!

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TEMPEST272002 1/2/2011 3:13PM

    Wow, I could have written this... though not so well! I love your list for getting back on track. It's hard to face the consequences of over eating (and I don't just mean the numbers on the scale, but also the conversations in our heads) but here we are. Still here. Still moving towards our goals. We can do it together. Keep writing, keep running, keep forgiving ourselves... and we'll get there.

Here's to a healthy 2011!

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AMBER281 1/2/2011 2:45PM

    That sounds like a great plan. You can do it!

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REENSKI 1/2/2011 2:29PM

    You can do it! Go Sunny Gal!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ZURDTA- 1/2/2011 10:36AM

    emoticon

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SILVERJUDI 1/2/2011 6:55AM

    The difference between a dream and reality, is that you've set
reasonable goals. Baby steps to fitness, repeated every day.

Your blog shows goals similar to mine. I did recently reach ONE-derland, and hope that I never again crossover the line. I'll feel more confident the further I get away from 200 lbs. I do not share your plan to run the 8K, but general fitness is reachable for all of us.



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MOMFAN 1/2/2011 4:08AM

    I did the same thing!

Cheering you on! We will accomplish our goals in 2011!

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WOLFKITTY 1/2/2011 2:36AM

    I understand.
You are awesome.. I can almost visualize you grabbing your bootstraps and picking yourself up! I love it!

You're doing great!
Jocelyn

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YATMAMA 1/1/2011 11:04PM

    My money's on YOU, kiddo. I have NO doubt at all that you are back on track and will send those added pounds flying, making headway in reaching your ultimate goal in due course.

*hugggggggggggggggggs*
<
BR>Missy

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PAULACOLLINS 1/1/2011 10:44PM

    I do know how you feel. We may trip and fall but we must never give up! Healthy living is the goal for 2011 and we can do it with God's help. emoticon

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 1/1/2011 10:40PM

    This will be our year!

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ANNEKATHLEEN 1/1/2011 7:41PM

    Perfect get-back-to-it plan! I love the way you've written this out and how positive it is. You can do it!

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SGTSUNNY 1/1/2011 7:24PM

    I am with you sweetie, as a matter of fact you inspired me to join the boot camp too. We will get to Onderland and it will be this New year, hopefully this season! Push forward. Hugs

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LUNADRAGON 1/1/2011 5:26PM

    Terrific! We CAN do this!

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FLGIRL1234 1/1/2011 5:22PM

    What a fantastic way to start the New Year. Keep it up girl. You have this in you!!!

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JENJESS48 1/1/2011 5:17PM

    Way to pick yourself up, dust off, and keep going. We all encounter setbacks in this journey; the key is what we do with them. And you're doing it awesome!

I need to kick back into gear now, too. I didn't gain - sheer dumb luck, I think - but I'm so DONE with this plateau. I signed up for the bootcamp challenged featured on the Start page today. Wanna be boot camp buddies and kick our booties back into gear together?

emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 1/1/2011 5:17PM

    No looking back. We are moving forward and going to achieve our goals and dreams this year.

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TRAVELGRRL 1/1/2011 4:18PM

    You are sooo not alone and I appreciate your honesty. I've been too ashamed to actually put a "number" on my holiday/cruise weight gain, MUCH LESS readjust my tracker. Way to go on your bravery and your determination to move forward. You will rock 2011!

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SMALLERMELORIE 1/1/2011 4:12PM

    Your not alone and you will reach your goal weight this year. Do not be depressed and beat yourself up. Lift yourself up and put on that beautiful Sunny gal smile and move forward.

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BIGLITTLEWOMAN 1/1/2011 3:55PM

    I know that you will meet your goals this year, you are so determined and very good at setting boundaries for yourself.

I'm wondering; after we reach goal weight, if we gain a holiday 10 will it be a big deal to us? Or, will we just know that we are going to gain 5-10 over the holiday therefore we will lose the 5 or 10 immediately after.

It only seems painful to us because we are struggling to get to a "place" and gaining that 5 to 10 unravels a lot of our work. What do you think??

Happy New Year.

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KITHKINCAID 1/1/2011 3:01PM

    So much love for you this year my friend. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to, and I believe with all my heart that YOU WILL.

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14JESUSGIRL 1/1/2011 1:45PM

    I love your attitude!
You go, Girl!
I'm right there with you!
Love,
Lee
emoticon

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CHICAT63 1/1/2011 1:43PM

    You are not alone, back to tracking/planning/workouts and nutrition. Great list, you can do it.

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WRENRAMON 1/1/2011 1:15PM

    I'm right up there with the 10 pounds gained over the month of December. How did that happen?? I love your list. Way to keep it real and look forward to 2011!!

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UNICORN212 1/1/2011 12:48PM

    I think I caught the same bug you did! I gained, but not 10 - I am just glad I did my weigh in yesterday, because today it is worse! Lets get back on track!

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HOPE4THEBEST 1/1/2011 12:45PM

    You're not alone! Am right there with you. Thanksgiving was OK, but Christmas came along and took me with it (lol). Thank you for the list. Helps to focus on a plan of action rather than thinking of regrets. 2011 is gonna be an awesome year!

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TRINIGAL22 1/1/2011 12:44PM

    You can do it if you put your mind to it. Use the SparkPeople exercise remember that every little bit helps. Good luck. emoticon

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ROEANDGO 1/1/2011 12:42PM

    I LOVE your list!! Especially #11....I'm a writer too! Don't be depressed Kathy. Just remember the journey that you have been on and the healthy lifestyle you now lead. You were right...you ARE human, will sometimes get off track...but you will get there!!

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POSITIVE-FORCE 1/1/2011 12:41PM

    Love your list! I'm with you 100%

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The 12 Days of Sparkness!

Saturday, December 25, 2010



I wrote this alternate version of the 12 Days of Christmas last year to summarize my time at SparkPeople so far. I updated it for the past year of successes. I hope you like it!!

I am so thankful to all of my Spark friends and Spark teams. May you have a joyous and blessed Christmas with your loved ones.

"May your life be crowded with unexpected joys."
--H. Jackson Brown Jr.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF SPARKNESS

On the first day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the second day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the third day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the fourth day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the fifth day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the sixth day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Six trips to Goodwill with clothes too big,
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the seventh day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Seven days of streaking,
Six trips to Goodwill with clothes too big,
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the eighth day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Eight Zumba dances,
Seven days of streaking,
Six trips to Goodwill with clothes too big,
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the ninth day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Nine weeks of C25K,
Eight Zumba dances,
Seven days of streaking,
Six trips to Goodwill with clothes too big,
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the tenth day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Ten BMI points down,
Nine weeks of C25K,
Eight Zumba dances,
Seven days of streaking,
Six trips to Goodwill with clothes too big,
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the eleventh day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Eleven dollar pair of PJs off the rack,
Ten BMI points down,
Nine weeks of C25K,
Eight Zumba dances,
Seven days of streaking,
Six trips to Goodwill with clothes too big,
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

On the twelfth day of Sparkness
My new life gave to me
Twelve points higher on my VO2 score,
Eleven dollar pair of PJs off the rack,
Ten BMI points down,
Nine weeks of C25K,
Eight Zumba dances,
Seven days of streaking,
Six trips to Goodwill with clothes too big,
Five 5k's running,
Four pant sizes gone,
Three bra cup sizes down,
Two workouts in the park,
And the World's Largest Ball of Tape lost!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 12/31/2010 2:20AM

    emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 12/27/2010 5:11PM

    I LOVE this idea - might do one of these for myself! Great job :O) Such a year of accomplishment!

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JENJESS48 12/27/2010 2:38PM

    Super cute and creative! Thanks for the positive boost today! emoticon emoticon

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SEWINGMAMACDS 12/26/2010 11:40AM

    emoticon

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YELLOWBIRD01 12/26/2010 11:07AM

    That is wonderful!! Thank you for sharing your success and inspiring me for the new year!! You are a blessing to those around you!!

God bless you!!
Jenn

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CM_GARDNER78 12/26/2010 12:23AM

    This.Is.Fantastic!!! I love it. Not only creative but a cute way to reflect on how far you've come!!! Great job!!!
emoticon emoticon

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 12/25/2010 11:42PM

    Cute and creative!

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INSPIREBYNATURE 12/25/2010 11:19PM

    love it!

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SGTSUNNY 12/25/2010 10:13PM

    Great 12 days, what is a VO2 score? I love your blogs! Have a great Christmas.

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YATMAMA 12/25/2010 5:38PM

    That was awesome! Merry Christmas!!

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Sunny Gal Secret Santa!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

My secret santa was Roe! (ROEANDGO). Confession to make: I wanted to wait until Christmas to open the presents. I had them out of the box and they were all individually wrapped so nicely. I put them under our tree and did hold off for a while.







But I couldn't hold out for very long. She sent me the most perfect gifts!

First the card itself is GORGEOUS. A beautiful dove, I want to frame this card and put it in my writing office.



Then there was a Starbucks gift card and oh-so-cute Starbucks ornament! I had wanted a Starbucks gift card so that I would have a reason to go to Starbucks and WRITE. Now I can!

Then there was a prayer journal that I had wanted and it is just beautiful. There are dandelions throughout it and quotes from scripture and otherwise. Then there was the sweetest quote book all about being happy. My daughter Lucy and I read that and she loves the book and carries it with her everywhere.



Thank you Roe!!!! You are such a wonderful friend and fellow Sunny Gal!!!!

Merry Christmas to you and yours.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUNADRAGON 12/25/2010 4:13PM

    So sweet! It is an inspiring gift too!

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AMBER281 12/16/2010 3:56PM

    Those are great gifts!!!

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KITHKINCAID 12/16/2010 1:01PM

    How sweet!

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TEMPEST272002 12/16/2010 12:44PM

    Lucky you to recieve such thoughtful gifts!

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CARILOUIE 12/15/2010 8:11PM

    What a beautiful array of gifts. I love the holidays.

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SMALLERMELORIE 12/15/2010 8:59AM

    Great gifts, Thanks for sharing. I am still trying to hold out.

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POSITIVE-FORCE 12/15/2010 8:41AM

    awww...so sweet!

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MOMFAN 12/15/2010 12:04AM

    You are blessed!

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YATMAMA 12/14/2010 5:39PM

    How beautiful!!

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VISUALLYRICS 12/14/2010 4:56PM

    How Nice!! Christmas deliveries always carry a lovely mystery....it makes the season Bright!

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ROBYNROSE26 12/14/2010 3:12PM

    Great gift choices!

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KSGROTHE 12/14/2010 2:55PM

    Wow! Roe did a great job! I love that you read the Happiness book with your daughter!

- Karen

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STARLIGHT615 12/14/2010 1:37PM

    WOW that is awesome!!!

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SGTSUNNY 12/14/2010 1:09PM

    Roe did a great job, enjoy your presents all year!

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ROEANDGO 12/14/2010 1:01PM

    Sooooo glad you like everything! Enjoy!

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INSPIREBYNATURE 12/14/2010 12:23PM

    awww this makes me happy!

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Mini Challenge - 12 Things

Monday, December 13, 2010

This weeks mini challenge in the WIN challenge is to list 12 things we want to accomplish before 12/25 on a blog. I have 15 things listed, I'm not an overachiever (well, maybe a little), but I do want to make sure I get at least 3 runs in, as well as other "to dos".

1. Balance my checkbook, pay bills
2. Run
3. Strength train with Jackie
4. Call Homeowners insurance about updating coverage
5. Pickup cozy pjs for me since mine are too big now - DONE!
6. Run
7. Go downtown and see the tree with Jim and the girls
8. Pick up holiday cards for the Preschool Moms and for my writer friends. DONE! Send them out.
9. Bake healthy cookies for cookie exchange - DONE!
10. Go swimming in a hotel pool
11. Run
12. Set up an appointment to update our will
13. Go ice skating - RINK CLOSED DUE TO COLD!
14. Make a difficult phone call to a family member - DONE!
15. Designate my flex health coverage for 2011 - DONE!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBER281 12/16/2010 3:55PM

    That is a great list!!!

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ROEANDGO 12/15/2010 3:17PM

    Great list! Especially all the "Run" thrown in there! I think I didn't add exercise to my list. Maybe I should add a #13? Hmmmm.....

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FREES1 12/14/2010 9:34AM

    You go gal! Quite the list - have fun getting some of those things done and best wishes for some of the others!

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MOMFAN 12/14/2010 12:25AM

    I'm tired just reading it! You will get it done! You are amazing!

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JENJESS48 12/13/2010 6:56PM

    Great list! Good luck! I notice a lot of your items are also things I tend to put off... emoticon

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MPALMER15 12/13/2010 6:55PM

    I can help with #5! I had to pick up some new ones too because mine wouldn't stay up any more, lol. Sears has a good deal right now on Joe Boxer flannel pj's. They are warm and comfy. I love mine! Here is a link: http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_
12605_038A2472000P


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LOTUSFLOWER 12/13/2010 5:38PM

    Thanks!! Ice skating is my win challenge activity - I had wanted to do the Kal Haven trail (and did) but the snow wasn't there yet when we went. I am terrified of ice skating!!! I have no balance with these sorts of things! I agree on the bill/insurance stuff....I've been putting it off all year! And we haven't updated our will since Marlo was born over 1 yr. 1/2 ago, LOL!!! Don...Don...Don! That call is to my SIL...she still hasn't returned my phone call or email...

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INSPIREBYNATURE 12/13/2010 5:36PM

    Hehehe this is fun stuff.....too much talk of bills and insurance for me tho! hahah. I know, it must be done!!! mmmmmmmm can i have some halthy cookies? OOoh man I want to change my list! I have something to add!!! hahahaha. OOOH ICE SKATING!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE ICE SKATING!!!!!!!

Good luck on the difficult phone call...don don don

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The DIfference A Year Makes (Pictures)

Thursday, December 09, 2010

We got our family pictures taken last night, and I was excited to compare them against our picture from last year. In the past year I've lost about 40 lbs., and I have a total loss of 80 lbs. I can really see a difference in the picture, especially in my face.

I am just SO excited about this. I feel renewed, more energetic, and I am so hopeful that I will meet my goal of a total of 120 lbs. down in 2011!

If you are feeling you haven't come so far, or are like me and halfway, or more than halfway to your goal, I highly recommend comparing pictures of yourself. You have changed, you are different, the proof is right there in the frame. Even weight loss that doesn't feel like much to you reflects in everything you do, and how you act. You can see it in your smile.

Thanks everyone for the inspiration, friendship and support!



p.s. This sweater from 2009 no longer fits me, it's gone to Goodwill a while ago!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRISPINI 12/16/2010 1:39PM

    OMG you look 10 years younger. WTG!

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KITHKINCAID 12/16/2010 1:04PM

    Beautiful family - beautiful people. You look amazing Kathy. Congratulations!!!

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JENJESS48 12/13/2010 6:57PM

    Gorgeous family and gorgeous YOU! emoticon

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CAROLX914 12/13/2010 9:58AM

    CONGRATS... you and your family look wonderful!

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LOOZINITNOW 12/13/2010 9:34AM

    Beautiful picture of the family! What a difference a year makes!

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 12/13/2010 12:48AM

    Looking good!

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CARILOUIE 12/12/2010 8:00AM

    emoticon

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WYND10 12/10/2010 1:48PM

    Amazing! You look fantastic, and have a beautiful family!!!

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AMBER281 12/10/2010 10:57AM

    WOW!! That is amazing! Keep up the great work.
You have a beautiful family!

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HSMOM2FOUR 12/10/2010 7:56AM

    Looks like your kids have gotten older & bigger... while you have gotten younger and smaller!! You look GREAT!!! Keep up the great work!

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SMALLERMELORIE 12/10/2010 7:41AM

    I notice the weight loss, but I really notice how much younger that you look in 2010. Great job.

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MOMFAN 12/10/2010 2:18AM

    You look great. Would love to get you and hubby in some bright solid colors for next year.

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MESEATURTLE 12/10/2010 12:18AM

    Looking great!!!!

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NELLIEC 12/9/2010 10:57PM

    That is great to see such a difference in your face! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PEPPERLEAH 12/9/2010 10:49PM

    You are so inspiring! Congratulations!

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GOGOMAMA 12/9/2010 9:38PM

    Nice family photo!!! You look fabulous and I love your cute new haircut!!! emoticon

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JUSDUCKY 12/9/2010 9:30PM

    emoticon

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PURPLELVR7 12/9/2010 9:07PM

    You are doing & look great

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BIGLITTLEWOMAN 12/9/2010 7:51PM

    Look at the fine bone definition in your face!! How wonderful to SEE the positive changes some place other than numbers on the scale. Next year you'll FEEL as beautiful as we all know you are/inside and out. Joy to your world.

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SEWINGMAMACDS 12/9/2010 7:04PM

    Love the comparison - you are doing fantastic!

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YATMAMA 12/9/2010 6:46PM

    Amazing!!

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KSGROTHE 12/9/2010 6:01PM

    Great pictures! You look great!

Is that your husband's Christmas shirt that he's wearing? It looks like the same one in both pics!

Keep up the good work!

- Karen

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INSPIREBYNATURE 12/9/2010 5:56PM

    you look so much younger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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STARLIGHT615 12/9/2010 5:45PM

    WOW what a difference!! You look GREAT!!!

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ROBYNROSE26 12/9/2010 5:43PM

    Way to Go! You look great!

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MRS_4EVER_AFTER 12/9/2010 5:15PM

  Nice Job!!!

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WOLFKITTY 12/9/2010 4:47PM

    Congrats!
Jocelyn

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P0KERS0PH 12/9/2010 4:35PM

    You look radiant and younger! Amazing!

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TAFFIN2000 12/9/2010 4:27PM

    Big difference! Congrats!
Adorable kids!

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GETFIT2LIVE 12/9/2010 4:24PM

    Great job--and wonderful pictures, congratulations!

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MPALMER15 12/9/2010 4:15PM

    emoticon
You can definitely see the difference! Keep it up!

Comment edited on: 12/9/2010 4:15:53 PM

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SLFRISBEY 12/9/2010 4:10PM

    AWESOME!!! Keep it up! You've come so far in just one year... and you're a RUNNER too!

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YAMPYPIE 12/9/2010 4:03PM

    Great job. You definitely look as though you're glowing. :)

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APMAC_D 12/9/2010 3:58PM

    This is great- way to go!

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DONNYBELLE 12/9/2010 3:54PM

    you look fantabulous---and it actually looks like you're 5 years younger in the second pic!!! Great job on all your hard work and congrats on your success!!!!!

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XTIGERLILYX 12/9/2010 3:53PM

    Crazy how much younger you look in 2010!

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4ME_4LIFE 12/9/2010 3:50PM

    That's awesome! So inspiring!

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OFFDREA 12/9/2010 3:49PM

    I can definitely see the difference! You look fabulous!

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GAMOMMY3 12/9/2010 3:46PM

    Oh yeah! Big difference! emoticon

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ROEANDGO 12/9/2010 3:37PM

    Wonderful! I love this!

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FREES1 12/9/2010 3:37PM

    what a difference a year makes!!! congrats!


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JESSIELOVE78 12/9/2010 3:30PM

    you are doing so great!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You are such inspiration to us all!!


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KARVY09 12/9/2010 3:27PM

    Marvelous!!!!

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