Sunday, January 28, 2007
Today I have really been feeling down. I have been working out, and bring my daughter to a baby swim on Saturday mornings. This past class my husband videotaped, and I saw myself in a swimsuit for the first time in at least 10 years. Oh my goodness. What a reality check.
Even though I know I weigh 276 pounds, I don't feel like it. I feel thin, when I look in the mirror, I see thin...but I'm not.
I have a deadline for my writing and I have been loafing around all day. See, I want my essays done and finished - without writing them.
The same with my weight loss. I have been down and depressed today, and instead of focusing on the positive changes I have made (back to working out, drinking water, incorporating fruits & veggies in my diet) I am looking at me - in my swimsuit - and I feel it is hopeless.
I can't have that instant gratification. Not with writing, and certainly not with my weight loss. I need to travel that road, go on that journey, and only then can I reach my goal. They say that life IS the journey. I am beginning to see that this is true.
I want to end with a quote by Anais Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. “